When Our Prayers Go Unanswered
by anonymous-unknown
Summary: The war in Heaven becomes more personal for the Winchesters when Castiel's grace is stolen and leaves him fighting for his life. Sick!Hurt!Cas, Caring!Protective!Dean, revived Gabriel, not so soulless Sam and a couple OC angels with a purpose. No pairings or slash but plenty of brotherly bonding. Full summary inside. PART I of IV.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:** Canon AU set in post season 5 with a fact or two from season 6. Sam is out of the cage and Lucifer free with soul intact, Cas is an angel again but still cut off from Heaven and Gabriel has been brought back too (admit it, who can resist him). I came up with the idea of this fic when I was reintroduced to Supernatural and I realized just how much I had been missing. I hadn't really seen it since the middle of season 3 when I dropped it and when I caught it again with watching Lazarus Rising on a re-run (the barn scene is what did it for me), I couldn't -believe- that I had let this series slip through. Seasons 4 and 5 have been my all time favorites and I'm still catching up with 6 since I missed most of the beginning this year and started off again right when Sam got his soul back. I also need to give credit where credit is due. After reading "Saving Grace" from MissAnnThropic (If you haven't read it, then I suggest you do so because it is a beautiful piece) I suddenly decided to get back into my favorite hobby after a couple years of abandoning it, and it is actually this story that gave me the push to start writing my own.

Unlike all my other stories, I have not posted every chapter immediately after finishing it and instead wrote several ahead of everything. I plan to release them one at a time simply because I want to actually finish the story instead of leaving everyone hanging as I have done in the past. In lamest terms, this story is already **_done_**, start to finish, but is simply going through the final editing process. I am very detailed so I don't like to leave gaps or loopholes anywhere unless I know they are going to be revealed later (You'll probably notice a lot of these so I apologize in advance). As noted in the summary, this is a four part verse plot and much of the ideas have already been written so yes, there is already a beginning a middle and an end to much of the next three parts including titles. All that's left is to throw in the details and connect the dots so please have patience with me as I carefully try and put the pieces together. I certainly hope you enjoy the final works as I post them and as always, reviews are encouraged. Thanks for the chance at reading what I hope is a success at decent literature for some of you.

**Written: **16 February 2011

**Soundtrack:** Falling Again by Lacuna Coil

**Word Count:** 6900+

**Category: **Dean W./Castiel

**Content:** NO SLASH. Violence and adult language.

**Rating:** T

**Genres:** Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy, Drama, Angst, Friendship, Family, Mystery, Suspense, Spiritual, Action/Adventure, Humor

**Characters:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Bobby Singer, Gabriel, Raphael, Joshua

**Fictional Characters:** Isabelle Cartwright, Jennifer Morgan, Elizael, Barakiel, Azreal

**Disclaimer: **Obviously, I do not possess any legal rights to anything to do with this series especially its characters. I'm sure we are all aware of that but this fact must always be noted due to this websites guidelines.

**ooo**

**Title:** When Our Prayers Go Unanswered

**Author: **anonymous-unknown

**Summary:** Dean never believed in miracles. In his experience, they just didn't exist. Not without some sort of strings attached. That was the deal. It was always a deal. But this, this time was different. This he was willing to ask for, beg for…even die again for. No matter who listened, he was praying that this time, someone would answer.

_"Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle."_

Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)

**Chapter 1**

So this is how it was going to end? After everything they had been through, after all the times they had fought for their survival and after all the sacrifices they endured it still wasn't enough? This wasn't right, and it sure as hell wasn't fair. How could it be? Why did they have to go through this time and time again after all these years of fighting for the betterment of it all? How could this possibly be just? He was the only one trying to fix the problem─ no, not problem, more like _crisis_ upstairs, in _His_ house, and yet, _this_ was what he got for his efforts? _This_ is the thanks he received? Dean had been passed '_had it'_ and found himself now standing at 'why?'. He wanted answers, and he wanted them yesterday. Heck he wanted them a fucking week ago when this whole shit started, but, of course, Dean Winchester wasn't good enough for a response. Not from Him.

Then again, he never had been…had he?

So then why was he expecting anything different now? What was the point? Was there a rhyme or a reason for it? Was it faith that brought him to this moment? Was it courage? No. It couldn't have been. He never answered him when he found himself in these circumstances. In these always, _desperate_ circumstances. Everyone who had ever brought something good into his life got taken away from it. And for what? Honestly._ …For_ _what?_

"I used to believe in You. And this, this is what You do? This is how You let things go?" Dean gritted, wanting to scream at the top of his lungs towards the stars above him. The mounting frustration of the past few days had finally reached its tipping point, and hopelessness was slowly starting to creep itself in.

He had sworn to himself when this all began that he wouldn't give up, couldn't give in, and yet…no matter what he did he could find no other reason to keep going. After everything he had tried and every effort he had put forth it had all been fruitless and amounted to nothing but more disappointment. He buried his face in his hands as he freely let himself cry; the shame of his tears had _long_ been gone. He couldn't even stop himself if he wanted to. -_If_- he wanted to. Trying to would be pointless.

He passed a hand through his hair and looked up, continuing to pour out his pleas to anyone who would listen, anyone who could answer. All he ever wanted was an answer, if there ever was one for him.

"He did everything You ever asked for. He gave you everything. He gave you -more- and this is the thanks he gets?" Dean could feel his anger boiling inside him, but it was nothing compared to the unrelenting sorrow that has buried itself there. He was angry, confused, and _beyond_ desperate at this point. He wanted nothing more than to get a sign, _anything_, but thought perhaps that this would be just like every other time. Always the same result. A cry for help, and nothing but silence in return.

"He was the only one who believed in You. He was the only one who still served You when everyone else turned their backs and still You let him down at every single turn. What the hell kind of father does that, huh? Why would You do that to him?" He then snapped. "**DAMN IT**, **_WHY?_**"

It was becoming too much, his rage starting to break down his walls. Dean felt so lost and broken, he _was_ broken, and the flood of emotions that he had held back all this time since this had begun was starting to consume everything he had. It was the strongest agony he had felt in years, worse than the anguish he had ever experienced in Hell, and Dean thought that such pain could never be exceeded. Not ever. And yet it was. Right there and now. It was. He thought, that this must be what it felt like when the mighty would start falling.

It was this that now found him standing in the open field of Bobby's home, looking up for spiritual guidance from the one person he thought could give him any form of blessed harmony. He didn't care if it was just a little bit. He needed it. Spiritual wounds were becoming too difficult to heal for Dean nowadays, and he felt that the strength to do so had all been used up. …_And yet, how did he find the strength to keep fighting still? Where did it all come from when it seemed that there was nothing left for him to give? -Why- did he keep fighting, when he wanted so badly to give up?_

His heart ached as he took in one last deep and shaking breath and allowed himself to succumb to his pain, carefully lowering one knee to the cold dusty ground. Looking up, he slowly brought his hands together and folded them tightly in front of his chest, squeezing them with all the might in the world as he whispered over his beating heart.

_Any sign_, he thought. _I'll take any sign_.

He shifted; hands woven, heart beating, mind weary and thoughts racing. All he wanted was this, a chance at redemption and to make things right. To fix things, to make it as if it had never happened. All he wanted was this one thing, and if he were granted this one miracle, this _one_ chance to save him, he would ask in return for nothing else. All Dean wanted was a chance, and with it, he would grant his loyalty to Him. All of him. If only just for this.

"Please, I'm praying to you, please…" He sighed, a fresh tear sliding down his cheek. Gathering all his faith in his next words, he sent a silent prayer up above…hoping that someone would hear his plea.

"God…If You can hear me, I'm begging You…I'm _begging_ You please…please help me…"

The angel watched from afar as the Righteous Man continued to pray towards the heavens, hoping with all the faith in the world that someone could answer his prayers, and give him the miracle he so desperately desired.

_How the hell did it all come to this...?_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Estherville, Iowa – One Year Earlier<em>**

To say that this case was weird had to be the understatement of the century. Nope, scratch that. The _millennium_. Three deaths, all in the same weird ass way and all within a three week period. The Winchesters had to admit, they were at a complete loss with this one, and in their experience, being the experts that they were and all, they should have been able to figure _this_ out. All the evidence pointed to a ghost, but as they dug further and further into the records they had found no previous deaths in the home and no passing of any family, friends, or anyone for that matter on the entire property. It was like everything was in complete darkness one day, and then the next someone just decided to flip the lights and start a killing spree. Lovely.

Dean merely frowned as he looked through the menu of their latest diner visit and scoured down at the items, at a complete loss for what he was craving for breakfast.

The place reminded him of an old ladies house and hunting cabin all mashed up into one, with such questionable decor that the guy who owned the place probably let his mother decorate, or so Dean assumed. The white walls were covered in old pink floral wallpaper that was peeling at the edges in some spots, and brass oil lamps hung above every table; _as if that's not a safety hazard_. Dean continued to stare down at his menu, but found his eyes still wanting to wander around to take in the rest of the glorious architecture that the place offered. _Seriously, who the heck came up with the design of this place_? _And why did it bother him so much_? Dean just shook his head, and looked around.

Support beams were positioned carefully throughout the restaurant, usually in between every single booth that lined the wood paneled walls, and the black and white photos that were nailed into each one had to be from parts of the town's history. Certainly looked like it anyway.

The place smelled strongly of cooking oil, sugar and lemonade, with just a hint of some overused lavender air freshener and bleach filled cleaning agents. The front counter was positioned right in the middle of the entire restaurant, caseloads of freshly baked pastries and rolling chairs bordering the counter itself. The majority of the seats were already taken by those just passing through and the regular local residents, sipping away at orange juice and picking at muffins and eating cold cereal. Even the service was bustling, the waitresses attending to every need, all a blur of small pink and white uniforms. Just your typical, small town place.

Dean looked back down at the menu and continued to scan through it, now that he had gotten a good share of sizing up his surroundings. Even during meal time, he always considered his openings, exit strategies and choices of offenses/defenses. You'd think him paranoid, but you never knew when something nasty was going to interrupt the morning.

"You decided yet?" Sam asked, breaking him out of his trance.

Dean had been so busy wrapping his head around other things that he barely even noticed his brother staring at him, giving him that squinty eyed look and wondering what was going on in that head of his. His mind did tend to escape him sometimes, no denying that one there.

"Uh yeah." _No._ "I think I'll just go with…"

Coffee was a given, but as for what he wanted for his meal, well, he might as well start posting items on a board and throwing darts to see where they landed. _Since when had the idea of breakfast become this damn hard?_ After several moments without a response and an arched eyebrow from Sam later, Dean just shut the menu and smiled, putting it to the side and facing his brother.

"Why don't you just pick something for me."

_Uh…what! Did I just freakin' hear him right? _Sam thought, the words in his brain stuttering and the ones wanting to come out of his mouth just flat out dead on could have sworn his eyes had just about bulged out of their sockets too.

It took Sam a second to recover from the shock of his brothers answer, and another to find his voice and just generate a response. In all honesty, he was surprised he even got anything to slip through at the moment. Or, you know, period.

"You're kidding."

Either Sam was hearing things or Dean had actually just given him the reigns in deciding what to feed the man. Now he knew the older hunters diet almost as much as he knew every freckle on the back of his hand, and considering how unhealthy it was he would have been glad to insist on fruit and juice or even a breakfast salad. But Dean didn't know what he wanted and put Sam in the driver's seat to pick his meal, and that was enough to call the press. _An over exaggeration but you get the point_.

"What?" Dean noticed Sam's slow reaction time and would have thought that the kid was suffering from a stroke if he had not blinked that next second.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah." Dean shrugged. "What's the big deal?"

"The _big_ deal? Dean, you barely let me drive the -_car_- and now you're letting me choose your -food-?" If Sam didn't have his jaw attached to his face it would probably be on the floor by now. He gave him a worrisome look, whether he was surprised or scared Dean couldn't tell off the bat at the moment. Maybe it was a mix of both.

"Dude, I just don't know what I want. Why are you acting like it's a life or death decision?"

"It's not. I'm just…" Sam scoffed. "I'm shocked." Sam let out a small laugh as if this had just turned from awkward to funny.

"Whatever. Just order something princess."

Sam continued to chuckle as he went back to the menu and seriously contemplated whether he should order something healthy for his big brother. _Dean eating an apple that wasn't glazed in starch and cinnamon and surrounded by pastry crust. That'll be the day_.

It didn't even take another moment before a small waitress walked up to their table and greeted them.

Sam could already practically feel Dean's eyes sizing up the girl, one of his many favorite pastimes, and without even having to read her he was already well aware that his brother didn't stand a chance. Don't even bother, he thought, but of course he knew that when it came to the ladies, Dean never listened to his upstairs brain. Ever.

"Good morning gentleman. What can I get started for you today?"

The first thing Dean registered besides the small and curvy frame was her sweet girl next door persona and young gentle voice. She couldn't have been much taller than 5 feet, maybe 5 foot 1, and looked to be quite young, maybe not even drinking age yet or just passed legal. Her skin was of a natural pale bronze, her eyes sharp; a dark rich chocolate brown, and hair as bright and dark as polished onyx, bangs framing the side of her childlike face which held no traces of makeup on it. Her long locks were tied up in a loose bun, but Dean could see a few wisps that had fallen out of the tie and saw that it reached at least to her middle back. All in all, the girl looked au-natural, a high score in his book any day of the week.

"Yes, uh," He took one quick glance at her name tag and gave her one of his signature 'Hi I'm Dean' smiles. "Isabelle is it?"

She softly nodded and smiled back, the expression on her face telling him that she wasn't the type, and that he had no shot or chance in Hell. The look alone almost made him cringe. It also caused his nerves to tighten up his stomach in a vice grip.

_She doesn't play Dean. She doesn't play_.

If Dean didn't know any better, he'd think that look reminded him of─.

"Are you gonna order?"

That snapped him right of it, and caused Sam to bite back a laugh in response.

"Yeah, I uh," He quickly cleared his throat and hastily pretended to be scouring through the menu, while she in turn bit down at the inside of her cheek and tried not to laugh herself. _The idiot_.

Who would have figured the chick was capable of going from sweet and lovely to straightforward and hard, while still keeping that gentle on the outside yet tough on the inside faç 's only rotating thought at the moment was 'Damn. Just damn'_. _The only other person who had ever managed to do that to him was, well, Cas. SOB could scare the living daylights outta ya if you ever pissed him off. _Cue sparks and exploding lights and thunder people. BAMF in the building_.

"I'll just have the special. Scrambled." He said finally, throwing himself out of his thoughts and carefully handing the menu back to her, his thumbs now twiddling together on the table in front of him. She just merely chuckled to herself and took the menu gingerly.

"Of course. And your friend here?"

Sam merely glanced at Dean, whose eyes were now locked tight on the tables vinyl pattern, and finally let out the small laugh he was suppressing at his brothers expense. He would probably get back at him for that later. But for now, he merely looked back at the girl and made his order of pancakes, scrambled eggs and fruit, also adding the orders of coffee and handing her back his own menu. With a simple 'No problem' from her, she pocketed the menus and headed back to the kitchen, now out of sight.

Dean couldn't help but be more relieved.

"I think she likes you." Sam joked, chuckling to himself.

"Shut up."

Sam laughed again as his brother just groaned to himself. Seriously, totally coming off his game here.

Not even a minute later she was back with their cups of fresh black coffee, cream, a glass of water for each and two straws. After asking if they needed anything else she was suddenly interrupted by another waitress, a taller, long soft curled blonde haired and peach skinned, crystal eyed beauty that Dean would have mistaken for a goddess if they had been anywhere unearthly. Now that he noticed actually, all the waitresses here were pretty─ "_Hot"_.

Dean shifted carefully in his seat and glanced around again, this time to look at the staff. Just as he thought.

Where was the signature old lady waitress whose story of her career here could be traced back to the fabulous 50's? He didn't see -her-. As a matter of fact, the oldest girl working there couldn't be an older than him. What was up with that?

"Hey Angie, the boss wants to see you afterwards."

Dean immediately turned around and was unable to help but notice (being able to read people was one of his many instinctual talents of course, life of a hunter) that the expression on her face that she was so deemed on trying to hide was one of torment, fear and possibly even disgust. Whatever it was that caused it, she clearly wasn't happy. The look between the two was even more complex, almost _protective_ in a way, but he couldn't quite put it into words. Even the way her friend softly held her fingertips on the other girls elbow, as if to comfort her. It was certainly_…different_.

She bit her top lip and hid back a scowl, but loosened up and replied back to her. "Sure. I'll be right there."

With that her friend nodded lightly and left, her head still down, but not without a pause before she released her grasp. Isabelle then looked back at the brothers and informed them that their orders would be a few minutes, and Dean watched as she disappeared into the back. The next twenty minutes or so went by pretty quickly, as the brothers continued to size up their case (and ignore another possible one) and figure out what the connection was with what little records they were able to get their hands on. To say they were left with little to go on was putting it mildly, but it was the only thing they had to work with, so they tried their best to fill in the gaps themselves.

When their waitress came back with their food, her friend brushed by again on her way to her own table and whispered to her, asking her simply what she said.

She simply whispered back with a touch of abhorrence in her voice, "I ídia skatá léo pánta óti i maláka." She tried to hide another scowl, but even the most bottled up of people can only hide their fury so much. Hell Dean knew that.

Now Dean was also not an expert at Greek, hell he barely knew freakin' Spanish, but he knew well enough from picking up on them that 'maláka' was an insult, like 'pendejo' or 'hijo de puta' were in Spanish. Now _those_ words he knew, and these held venom in their wake.

Dean was just about to ask her if everything was alright, but before he could get the chance her anger quickly faded and her friend sheepishly nodded her head and walked off. The conversation looked to have been dropped, and that was the end of that.

She then straightened up and asked the brothers simply if everything was okay, her dolly attitude resurfacing for them as if nothing had just happened. Service with a smile I guess, Dean couldn't help but chant in his head. They replied yes and thank you, and she nodded in approval, walking off to service another table.

Dean then looked over at Sam for a translation, knowing that his brain held more about the Greek language than he even cared to (that and he mostly daydreamed through that lesson when Bobby was trying to teach it), but Sam simply shook his head lightly and said that it wasn't any of their business. Dean frowned, knowing that it was surely on his mind as well, but knew that they were also already on a case and moved on to studying the food on his plate instead.

He recognized half the items on it, thankfully, but when it came to what the hell the red and white meat was, he had to ask Sam since Dean assumed that it was some sort of foreign spam from a can. Something he sure as heck wasn't willing to eat.

"Sam what the hell is this?"

Sam merely chuckled as Dean picked at it with his fork like a child, and explained it as blood and pork sausage. A heart attack waiting to happen.

Dean pursed his lips as he recalled the day he actually -had- experienced his first heart attack, his face screwing into a mix of a frown and a scowl, and decided to save the mystery meat for last if he even dared touch it. He just went on eating his eggs, bacon, sausage links and toast. In the end, the bloody meat stayed on the plate and he surprisingly found himself picking at Sam's fruit bowl instead.

Sam didn't complain, hell he didn't even look to acknowledge it, and looked the other way at their case notes as his brother picked away at the pineapple, melon, strawberries, oranges and grapes that slowly found themselves disappearing. Just more vitamins getting into his diet Sam thought, _miraculously_.

When they were just about finished their waitress returned to refill their coffee and asked if they needed anything else. Sam simply asked for the check. She softly nodded and turned to head back, but then with a quick glance noticed the notes in his hand and stopped abruptly. She stared, expression dazed but eyes straightly focused as if he held in his hands the darkest secret of the town. She tensed, posture stiff and almost cautious. It was a defense on her part, as if she was waiting for something to attack.

Sam noticed her expression, so calculated and sharp, and took this opportunity to try and ask her some questions about the Manner house, assuming she knew anything. She beat him to it however.

"You here investigating the Manner House? Suits in a diner at ten thirty in the morning can only mean one thing around here. Especially in this town. If I were you I'd stay away from that place."

It wasn't a threat, more a concern, backed up with a hint of insistence. She was scared, not deathly, but certainly enough to warn them. Another defense trait of hers it would seem.

It was Sam who finally decided to answer after another moment of heavy silence.

"As a matter of fact we were, investigating I mean. We were told that there had been three deaths there and," Sam took in her look, carefully, and after just a short pause deemed that it was okay to continue. She looked strangely hesitant, but also open to discuss it. "I was wondering if you could tell me about it."

She was uncertain at first, not really sure what reason feds had to be investigating a supposed haunted house. There were a lot of crazies in the world, she knew that, and finally asked if she could see some ID before she said anything. If they were legit, she'd need to make sure first. This town had a lot of secrets, and most of them liked to stay out of the limelight.

Sam and Dean quickly produced their fake FBI badges and she took both in each hand, etching the names into her brain. Agent Tyler and Agent Perry._ Isn't that the name of an actor?_ Her eyebrow arched slightly as if questioning if they were in fact the real deal. She then gave them both a look to see if they fidgeted in any way but they were both sitting straight in the booth, their hands folded on the table and postures saying that they were there to do anything but play games.

She figured, it was good enough. She snapped the identifications closed simultaneously and handed them back to them, the brothers pocketing them quickly as she pocketed her own hands in her apron. She began to explain the history of the house. According to her it was the only one left standing on that dirt road and that the only thing she knew about it now was that the place had been abandoned for some time, until the new family moved in recently and the deaths started. Nothing they didn't already know. What surprised them however was the words she used. She didn't describe them as deaths, not in her opinion of course. She believed the deaths were actually─.

"Murders?" Sam asked, knowing that the deaths were not labeled as such at the coroner's office. "Don't you mean accidents?"

She just stood there, still and straight, her eyes traveling between the two as if to test their reaction at her claim. It made them feel a little uncomfortable, but the girl had every reason to doubt them being real federal agents, and it showed. She simply huffed a breath and relaxed a bit, in turn assuring them, and gently settled her hands to rest on her hips. She figured, that if they were here willing to help, then why not just help them out and take care of the situation altogether.

"Sure. Accidents. What else could it be? It's not like mutilations don't happen all the time right?" She smiled softly, trying to lighten the mood and got small smiles from them in return though obviously fake. She was trying so hard to convince herself, they saw that, but even they knew she wasn't fooled. She didn't look the type to be fooled, at least not easily.

She sighed and scratched at her forehead for a brief second, the stress of everything of their town weighing heavily on her mind. A small town like theirs _always_ preferred to hide its secrets.

"Right." Sam said just a moment after, trying to give back his own reassurance. "No you're right, uh…this isn't the sort of normal everyday thing I suppose but, we're here to figure it out and hopefully, do something about it."

He noticed her smile relax a bit and grow just a bit wider, her silence enough to tell him that she believed him, and that was all Sam needed to gain her trust just a bit more. That didn't mean that he didn't still see her defenses around her, and how her need to be cautious was still quite visible in her demeanor. This girl didn't play games, much like them, only difference being that they had actually been playing the game on both sides most of their lives. They assumed, that she just never had to take on such a lifestyle as they did.

"You said the place was abandoned. We found no records of that." Dean corrected her. The next look on her face said plenty. "And we're not going to are we?"

"No." She smiled gently. "The house was still being owned by the Carter family. They had built it back in the 20's after the war but, after the death of Jacob Carter's wife and daughter he just…" Another sigh, another daze, another pause. Dean would have almost thought, just by the serenity on her face and the calm of her eyes that she may have not just been recalling, but also praying, silently, for the two souls she had just spoken of. He couldn't quite figure out why, wasn't even sure why he even cared, but there was just something about her. This girl was definitely not your average person, and not your average light. She seemed more connected, more in tune, more thoughtful and considerate of all things. It was almost a little compulsive, but then again, being a hunter also included its similar behaviors. Cautious. Calculating. Attentive. On everything. That wasn't it though. It was just, something. Then it hit him.

He wasn't studying her. At least not her physical self. It was her soul he was drawn to, his recollection of the souls he tortured in Hell nothing like the one he could see in her, figuratively of course. Hers was pure, untainted and untarnished, nothing like theirs or of the demons that had long since lost theirs. Even his, scarred and torn as it was, felt a little unease around hers. He felt like it wanted to reach out almost, to be near it, as if her soul could help to heal his. It almost made him feel physically sick in resentment, and envy. With those thoughts alone, he felt it recoiling.

Her voice quickly shook him back out of his Hellhole. Sam didn't even seem to notice, or was maybe just trying to ignore it for Dean's sake.

"He never returned, and the place kinda just fell apart. It was still under his name until another family moved in like 40 years later. The Tellers. They moved out like 10 years ago and it's been owned by the Manner's ever since. Up until a couple of days ago of course."

"Is there anything else you can tell us about it?" Sam asked. If the local library didn't have record of the place being empty for so long then it was pretty safe to say the locals knew more than they could get their hands on.

"Well," She tilts her head and considers, her words slowly trailing of her tongue. "There are rumors."

"What kind of rumors?" Dean asked quickly, his attention as focused on her story as ever.

Clattering, utensils, background noise etc.

She bit down on the inside of her cheek before responding. "Some say that the house is haunted. Not by a ghost but," She pauses again, wondering if she should actually say what it was she had heard. The words left her tongue before she could even stop it. "By a demon."

"A demon?" Dean's face contorted almost to a 'are you sure' expression and she couldn't help but notice. If anything she was expecting more of an expression like 'yeah right'.

"Yeah…I know that sort of stuff doesn't exist but they say that when the house was abandoned that rituals were performed there. Satanic stuff. It's never been proven but some of the locals talk, and say that the house is evil. No one goes near it." She warned.

Dean and Sam just glanced a look at each other and then back at her. She readjusted her posture at the uncomfortable sensation of even speaking about the damned and found her left hand squeezing into her right elbow, her other hand scratching at the back of her neck.

"I don't personally believe it but, I'm not willing to take my chances." She chuckles as her right index finger finds its way around a silver chain hanging from her neck, sliding back and forth.

It was at that moment that Dean noticed the necklace, the pendent in the shape of an angel hanging on the end. He almost felt like laughing.

"But you believe in angels." He said, his voice was gentle and not the least bit joking.

She looks down to see what he is staring at and smiles softly before looking back at him. "I'd like to think they exist."

Dean smiled just as softly at that, considering he had one on his shoulder. He didn't even realize it when his hand had found itself placed over the handprint scar on his arm. Even if it was just raw raised flesh against the rest of his flawless skin, it still brought him a small comfort to know it was there. It was as if it was the ultimate proof in showing him that he truly was out of that God awful place, and it was all he needed to feel rest assured.

Sam thanked her and she nods back a no problem, but stops her right quick before she can walk away, asking her one more question. If what he thought was true, maybe they could reduce their search for this ghost or demon or whatever just a little bit more.

"By the way, you said the original owner, Jacob Carter's wife and daughter died. Do you know how? We didn't find anything about them in the town census."

She ponders for a moment and gives Sam her response.

"They caught tuberculosis, one of the first in the town actually. Took them both pretty quick from what I heard. Transferred them to some hospital in Saranac Lake. New York I think. They died there."

"Thanks again."

She nods her head, quickly coming back with their receipt and leaves to attend another table.

"That chicks a bigger encyclopedia than the God damn library here." Dean scoffed. "Okay then. So, what, we're not actually dealing with a ghost but a demon that some idiot decided to summon?" Dean whispered.

"Looks that way." Sam pondered.

"Awesome." Dean took another sip of his coffee and placed the cup down on the table as Sam left the tip and got up to pay at the counter. He stood up and gathered all the materials that were practically spread across the table, and after one quick glance at making sure that he didn't miss anything, he decided to pick up his untouched glass of water and downed half of it. He had already eaten more than half his share of fruit, he figured a little water wouldn't be bad for his diet either.

* * *

><p>Shortly after, the brothers found themselves camped outside the white and brown house, their car parked across the street and within sight. The place was surrounded by tall pines and brush, the first floor almost completely invisible from the outside, the second and third floors peaking just over it. The Victorian inspired construction had lost its beauty and was now hanging with the feeling of dread and despair. The place reminded Dean of the Amityville house with its two large windows visible in the front and the thought of that movie almost encouraged him to not take a step within the place. Almost. The long driveway was sealed by an iron gate in the front but since the last owners had left in a hurry they hadn't even bothered to lock it.<p>

They had been sitting out there for hours and pretty soon the sun was going to set, the gray darkness already settling in. As Sam continued to scan through their notes Dean kept his eyes on the house, not so much as letting his glance go until Sam got his attention.

"So, we got three families on the property, no one dying on it until three weeks ago." Sam noted. "All the same way."

"With their eyes and tongues ripped out." Dean added.

"And then there's the lungs, the heart and every other vital organ you could possibly need." Sam continued as he looked through the autopsy photos that the local office provided.

"Gross." Dean noted as he caught a glimpse of a photo of their first victims insides. "You think they'd learn after the first time."

"Well no one's occupying the house anymore so now's a perfect time to check it out." Sam gave his brother a look and even though the place gave him the creeps Dean sucked it up and agreed.

They both peeled themselves from the front seat and started digging through the trunk for salt rounds, silver bullets, holy water and anything else they might need. The last item they picked up was Ruby's knife and Sam sheathed it on his belt. After closing up they slowly made their way up to the house, and to say that the feeling they got the moment they walked past those gates was less than appealing. The place literally reeked of evil and the shivers going down their spines and crawling up their skin was definite proof of that. As they made their way to the front door the feeling only got stronger, but Dean picked up on something else as Sam picked at the lock and opened the door.

Decay.

They knew that smell all too well and immediately raised their guns as they slowly made their way into the house. The owners hadn't even bothered to take everything. Furniture and boxes of belongings still lay on the floor and even pictures and family portraits had remained on the wall. Sam headed over to the kitchen where the smell seemed to be getting stronger. Dean walked through the living and dining areas and noticed a door near the back of the house, right across from the kitchen. He whispered to Sam and noticed where Dean was looking.

The door was situated right in the middle of the back wall of the laundry room and other than it's peeling white paint and brass knob the door had also been completely nailed shut. Several two by fours had been clamped into it, some even over others and Dean and Sam knew that the previous owners didn't want someone going in.

Or maybe, didn't want something coming -out-.

They would have wanted to listen to the warning but the putrid smell was growing stronger and Dean and Sam knew that they were bound to find the source behind that door.

With a bit of hesitation the brothers began to carefully remove the beams until it was free of any obstruction. Dean wasn't even two inches away from the knob when it clicked and turned on its own, opening the door slowly for them. If that didn't ring any alarms in their heads the crippling smell of rot that filled their lungs sure did. They both placed their arms over their mouths but swallowed hard and picked up their guns and flashlights, carefully making their way down the rickety wooden stairs to the basement. The large bricked room felt damp and musty, the sounds of leaky pipes and rodents running around becoming evident almost instantly.

They slowly made their ways around, careful not to be caught off guard. After several moments of finding nothing Sam noticed a hallway that snaked its way through the back of the room and carefully headed to it. It took only a moment for Dean to notice that Sam had disappeared and called out to him, quickly making his way around the room and found him making his way down the thin corridor. Dean soon followed and noticed that the more they went down the stronger the smell was becoming. They were expecting to run across a rotting corpse any second now and as they made a left turn on the end of the hallway they noticed someone's leg peaking out from the wall and sprawled out on the floor.

They tried to see more but the shadows were covering much of the walls and it was then that Sam noticed that the shadow…_was actually moving_.

He also picked up on another sound.

_Chewing_.

Something was down here and feeding on the fleshy remains of the homes latest victim. Sam and Dean froze as they noticed the black mass getting up and with one slow turn, stared back at them, it's red eyes caused the hairs on the back of their necks to rise. This was _definitely_ not a ghost and _definitely_ not a demon. The wispy smoke that this thing was surrounded by began to spread and before it could get a step closer Dean and Sam started to shoot and the entity screamed an ear splitting screech, its eyes bulging in anger and instantly disappeared into the cracks of the brick and concrete. All that was left was a black liquid substance slowly dripping down the walls which they recognized immediately as ectoplasm.

_Well that was a clue._

After realizing that the thing was gone they looked back down to see a man sitting on the dirt floor against the back wall, his eyes and tongue already ripped out of his sockets and mouth and half his heart hanging by a single artery from his chest. The look on his face told them that he had been alive when the thing started eating him, his mouth contorted in the expression of someone screaming in terror. To say that the scene was beyond stomach wrenching was putting it nicely.

"I thought you said everybody left." Dean whispered as he took in the sight.

"I guess not." Sam softly replied, the pure look of horror on their latest victim forever etched in his brain.

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Notes: ***I ídia skatá léo pánta óti i maláka * translates to "The same shit I'm always telling that asshole"


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: **Anyone lost yet? Good, you should be. I know some of you may start having a few questions but I'll simply say this much. This story is based on an idea that I've seen quite often on this website in regards to Castiel but I decided to take on a whole new aspect of it than I've seen. Still lost? That's intentional. There is a clue on it in this chapter but I won't be pointing that out. That will be up to you guys to see if you can guess where this story will be going. Enjoy.

**Written:** 18 March

**Soundtrack: **My Wings by Lacuna Coil, Breath by Breaking Benjamin

**Word Count:** 5100+

**Chapter 2**

The police showed up shortly after the brothers called the body in and the place was officially taped up and locked down, crime scene investigators and local officers scouring the entire property for what they assumed now was an animal preying on the victims. After carefully checking the house to assure that there was no sign of their "demon" friend they headed back to the motel and left the rest of the work for law enforcement, deciding to return tomorrow when the smoke cleared.

Dean now found himself sprawled out on the bed closest to the door with a slight headache, staring at the cracked ceiling and puke colored walls, deciding at that moment to just state the obvious of their latest escapade. "That's not a demon."

"That's a spirit." Sam answered back, his face not coming off of his laptop as he scoured through more town records hoping to catch a break. "A real _pissed_ _off_ spirit."

"Okay at least we know how to kill it but now we need to find out, who the hell is it?" Dean propped himself up on his elbows and looked over to his brother sitting at the table and typing away diligently.

Sam knew that look. Dean was expecting an answer but unfortunately Sam didn't have any to give at the moment. "No idea."

"That's helpful." Dean scowled and let himself fall back on the pillow, slowly covering his eyes with his right hand.

"Dean, there's nothing here." Sam snapped back, the frustration of their leads doing nothing for them causing him to take it out on the only person around. "This town keeps its secrets locked up tighter than a damn bank vault." He went back at scrolling through documents but the details were vague at best. _Shocker._

"Well then use your nerd magic and pry it open." Dean mumbled. He flipped his hand over to rest on his forehead, the cold knuckles resting against the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, focusing on trying to go to sleep.

"What'd you think I've been trying to do the last four hours genius?"

"Look I'm just saying." Dean shook his head as the threat of sleep swiftly started to make its presence known and caused the throb between his temples to shift a bit. "Maybe you should look into the towns past. See who was here before the place was settled. It wouldn't be our first native haunting. Maybe there was some tribe here who got kicked out and cursed the land. Remember that case with the bugs?"

"If that _were_ the case then why would it be spewing its vengeance now? That property has been populated for almost 90 years."

"I'm just popping out ideas." Dean whispered and sighed as he let his body relax.

Sam gave a sigh of his own and started to look into Native American tribes that may have lived on the land before the town was established. By the time he found anything Dean was already pleasantly snoring, his perched hand now resting on the side of his face.

It was a good theory but the fact was that their spirit wasn't targeting townspeople in general but only residents who lived in _that_ house and on _that_ land didn't give Sam much. He decided to call it a night and closed his laptop, leaving it on the table and letting himself fall on the bed.

Dean hadn't moved from his spot and Sam couldn't help but roll his eyes. Of course his brother hadn't bothered to change out of his clothes or cover himself. The temperature was going to dip into the low 30's that night and he was going to freeze his ass off. Sam didn't need his brother catching a cold or anything, God knew how cranky he could be when he got sick and walked over to the closet to pull out some of the quilts the motel offered. He found a couple of the thickest ones and carefully draped them over Dean, making sure to cover him up as much as possible without waking him.

Satisfied enough that he would stay warm Sam pulled off his boots and dug himself under his own covers, quickly falling asleep without another thought.

* * *

><p>The night was crawling by and Dean found himself engrossed in a vivid dream.<p>

_He was standing in the middle of a damp and wide cobblestone alleyway. There were lights hanging above him and bags of trash stacked against the brick walls on both sides. The end of the alley was closed off by a fence, a dumpster placed against it and the front led to the main street._

_The air felt cold and misty and Dean could actually see his own breath when he exhaled. _

_A noise soon caught his attention and he could make out someone locking a metal plated door towards the back, the keys jingling as they were pulled out of the knob. _

_Dean couldn't make out a face as it was covered in shadow but could see through their shape that it was a short, thin young woman will long hair picked up in a high ponytail. _

_Dean tried to walk over to her but found his feet planted to the ground and he was unable to move. "What the hell?" Before he could even try to force himself to take a step he heard screaming and quickly looked back to see the young woman being attacked to the ground by a large man, his beefy hands grasped around her throat and choking her._

"_Hey!" Dean yelled out, but found himself still unable to move and his voice made no indication that the man had even heard him. He continued to yell out in vain and watched as the young girl struggled and ran her nails into the skin of the man's face as she fought for air. _

_It was over within a matter of seconds, as Dean could clearly see the outline of a knife in the air and with one foul swoop the man drove it into the girls chest, her screams dying out almost instantly. _

"_NO!" Dean gasped along with her as her hands fell and she drew in a final breath, the knife driving deeper into her heart as her blood flowed from her mouth and down her chin._

_Dean couldn't take his eyes off her, the air in his chest tightening in his lungs, his gaze refusing to turn away or even blink._

_The man merely stared at his victim for just a minute and slowly picked himself up as he swiftly pulled out, her eyes closing and her head falling to the side. _

_Dean could only stare in shock as the man hid the dripping knife under his jacket and walked away, passing by Dean and making no notice of him whatsoever. Dean couldn't even see his face, his head and eyes masked by the shadows even with the lights overhead. _

_He tried to reach out to him but was surprised when he found his hands just passed right through. The man quickly reached the end of the alley and disappeared from sight, leaving an uncomfortable pit in Dean's stomach. He looked back at the young victim lying on the ground, blood pooling around her body and staining her shirt, jacket and jeans. _

_Dean could do nothing but gape, the want to say something, do something quickly falling short as a sense of dread slowly crept up into his chest._

_Why couldn't he stop it?_

_The scene slowly began to fade as he heard rapid whispers surrounding him and the end of the alley was suddenly engulfed in bright gold light. Dean placed his arms over his eyes as it reverberated and burned at his skin, and he saw nothing but bright white afterwards._

His eyes virtually flew open, the walls of their motel room coming back into view.

He quickly found himself snapping his body into sitting position on the bed, the covers falling off of him and the cold air stinging at his sweat soaked skin. He gasped for breath and looked over at Sam who made no indication that he had even heard his brother wake. Staring at the clock on the wall opposite him, the moonlight peered through the window and Dean could see that it was just past two-thirty in the morning.

Dean continued to try and even out his breathing and gave out a long sigh as he quickly collected himself. He ran a hand down his face, wiping away at the sweat and remembering the feeling of desperation.

The dream seemed so real and Dean wondered if it was possible that he had actually witnessed the young woman's death or if it was just a figment of his imagination. Psychic visions were Sam's thing but he hadn't had one in years and they usually came with a raging headache or some other physical pain in the ass. He _had_ the headache, the one from earlier seeming to have tightened its grip on him and adding nausea along with it but Dean knew that it was nothing compared to his brothers.

After a few minutes of staring down at nothing Dean eventually ruled it out as a simple nightmare and slowly crawled himself out of bed, heading to the bathroom.

The light burned his eyes as he flipped the switch and he recalled the last part of the dream for that split second. He quickly pushed it to the back of his numbing mind and walked over to the sink.

His reflection in the mirror was striking. His eyes held dark shadows underneath and his skin looked like it had gone ten shades of gray. In a sense, he looked like death had washed over him and he _knew_ that feeling. He had lost count how many times death had him as a visitor at his door.

He quickly shook it off, grabbed a change of clothes from his duffel bag and turned on the shower, allowing himself to just stand there and be soaked through by the steaming water. By the time the water had gone cold Dean felt himself finally relaxed, his aching muscles were no longer tense and he stepped out. After drying himself and changing he quickly headed back to bed, dry popping a couple of aspirin for the already fading headache. He flipped the covers over to the drier side and carefully dug himself back under them, a sigh soon escaping his lips.

Sam stirred from his bed and turned to look over at Dean, groggily asking him if everything was okay.

"Go back to sleep Sammy." Dean replied flatly.

Sam didn't even protest and flipped back over to face the opposite wall, falling back to sleep almost instantly. It took Dean awhile but he soon found himself settling back comfortably on the mattress and was back to sleep soon enough.

* * *

><p>Sam had woken up early the next morning and by the time Dean allowed himself to unwrap his body from the tangled covers and step out of bed his little brother had already returned with coffee and donuts for breakfast.<p>

"Rise and shine Dean." Sam nearly chimed. "Got us a couple of leads last night that I want to check out so, up and at em'."

_He was in an unusually chipper mood. _Dean wasn't really in any eager mood to do much of anything as Sam handed him a cup of coffee and he took it gracefully.

Sam picked up on the silence of the room soon enough though and looked over at his brother who was looking more sluggish than usual. And when the heck did he change into pajamas? "You okay?" The concern in his voice was enough to make Dean sit up straight and stop staring solely at his coffee.

He merely looked up at his little brother as he took a sip from his cup and nodded that he was fine. He didn't need Sammy to worry about him, God knew that the kid could be a worrywart when he wanted to and quickly got up to grab a donut. He wasn't hungry but if Sam noticed his lack of wanting to eat then the doors would just swing right open and Florence Nightingale would come flying through. _Good grief._

"So where are we at?" Dean asked, while stuffing a jelly powdered donut through his teeth.

"Well I picked up on a few things last night, nothing concrete but, it's more to go on." Sam handed him a file of his latest research and Dean skimmed through it, noticing that it was a list of local people who had gone missing down that old dirt road in the past century. It seemed like nothing considering the small number of names but then again, sometimes their smallest clues brought their biggest breaks.

After a little more web searching and a little more data collecting the two decided to suit up and pass by the morgue to check out their latest victim, the news of a fourth new 'accident' quickly spreading throughout the town. Dean also picked up on some of the locals talking about someone else dying the night before as they crossed the street but Sam pressed on about their evil spirit and decided to disregard the matter. After presenting their badges to the front desks new receptionist and catching up with the coroner again Dean and Sam headed back down to the morgue where the autopsy had already been finished.

"I tell you they just keep getting weirder and weirder around here." The coroner, Dr. Porter if they remembered correctly, pulled the sheet back and the brothers were immediately cast back to the night before when they found the man, his terrified expression refusing to be wiped off his face.

"So I'm assuming you have the same COD as in the other three victims." Dean asked, although he already knew the answer.

"Yep. Except this guy still had his lungs, stomach and intestines intact. His liver, kidneys, even his gallbladder, none of that was ever touched. Whatever did this probably didn't get to finish but, in my experience this looks more like it was done by an animal of some kind. I just don't know what yet."

"Well were there any foreign fibers or skin or anything like that on any of the victims?" Sam asked.

"Not that I could find. Then again finding a foreign skin is tough when you've got victims who literally look like they've been ripped open and chewed apart."

That made Dean make a face that Sam couldn't help but catch. Dean knew a thing or two about being a chew toy, not that he'd ever tell the doc that.

Dean and Sam merely glanced at each other and continued on with their questions and when it came to personal questions on the home itself the answers they got were vague at best. Figures.

_This town really didn't like sharing its secrets._ It reminded Dean of their case in Burkitsville years ago with the freaky scarecrow.

What a town of loonies.

As Sam finished up with his final question and thanked the coroner, the two of them started to head out the door when another body near the front of the room caught Dean's attention. He paused for a moment and after a grasped second he recognized the person almost immediately. Sam caught Dean in his trance and asked him what was wrong but he soon realized it too.

Dean acted as if he didn't hear him and slowly walked over to the table, taking in the sight before him. The coroner noticed his spacing and walked up to him, joining him at his side.

"Her name was Isabelle Cartwright." He stated simply. "She was found murdered early this morning by her coworker Jennifer Morgan."

A brief flashback of the day before came back to him, the conversation between her and her friend being the stage point of his thoughts.

"What happened?" Dean slowly asked under his breath, his eyes refusing to remove themselves from her face.

"Cause of death was a stab wound to the chest, although bruising on the neck indicates that she may have been choked before then." The coroner picked up her file and read through some of the notes he had scribbled. "Body temperature indicated that she had died between two and four this morning. Young lady didn't even make it home."

The images from the dream came flooding back at Dean and Sam couldn't help but notice that he was a little lost in his own mind.

The coroner continued by saying that she struggled with her attacker and managed to collect some of his skin and blood under her nails. Thanks to that they managed to find the guy pretty quick but Dean didn't appear to be hearing any of that.

The flashes come again and he found them replaying in his mind over and over. The blood. The light. It just wouldn't let him go.

Dean finally loosened his grip on it and bows his head in disappointment, pinching the bridge of his nose and passing his hand through the side of his face. He brings it back down and asks gently who it was.

The coroner couldn't possibly understand why he even cared but told him anyway, his tone firm and prodded. "Guy who killed her is named Carlin Bates. Man owns the local diner."

Another flash of the conversation between Isabelle and her friend popped into his head and he wondered if that was the reason for the man suddenly taking her life. He obviously didn't have any details but from what he picked up it obviously hadn't been good.

He hands Dean her file and he carefully skimmed through it, noticing that her date of birth also ironically matched her date of death.

She had just turned 22 years old.

The coroner continued on to say that it was hard to deny it was him considering she gave him a few injuries of his own to deal with. Man was set to stand trial tomorrow. Dean's expression goes stern and cold as he closes the file and let his hands fall to his sides, staring back at her face and taking in its serenity. After a moment the doctor walked around him and covered her up.

* * *

><p>On their way back to the car Sam notices that Dean is way too quiet and asks him what's going on. Dean doesn't even acknowledge him and goes around to the driver's side to open the car but before he manages to fit the key into the door he stops.<p>

An awkward and silent moment passes before he lets out a frustrated sigh and clenches his teeth, carefully letting his hands fold themselves on the top of the car. Sam is starting to wonder what has Dean so distracted that he can't even say a word and worry starts to creep through him.

"Dean?"

After what seems like an eternity of the elder hunter staring into and saying nothing he finally looks over at Sam and admits that he dreamt about her the night before.

"What?" Sam is now completely silent himself and looks at him as if he is unsure what he means. To say that it was troubling was the usual response but this seemed to be _bothering_ Dean a much greater deal. Sam stays silent for a moment longer and wonders why his brother is reacting like this.

"Dean what are you talking about?" Sam tried to keep his voice calm as not to frustrate him anymore than he already was. He literally looked like he wanted to beat himself up.

"Exactly what I said Sammy." Dean looks up at him, noticing the look of disbelief etched across his little brothers face. "I dreamt about her last night. I _saw_ her die." He paused and let out another sigh, massaging his fingers into his eyes as if trying to relieve himself from his ever mounting stress. "I was there when it happened." He whispered so low that Sam barely heard him but he could tell by the tone in his voice that Dean felt somewhat responsible and he sure as _Hell_ wasn't going to allow him to go down this road.

"It wasn't your fault Dean." Sam nearly snapped but quickly buried the anger fueling in his throat. "There was nothing you could have done about it. It was just a _dream_." Sam chose his next words carefully, knowing that he had found himself in those shoes before and knew the feeling that such traumas could produce. Dean had been through enough torture, literally, and did not need to inflict anymore on himself.

Sam looked down at the ground and then back at his brother who had yet to take his gaze off his hands.

"Maybe it was her time Dean." He looked up at him, the look in his eyes telling him that he was half resentful, half doubtful, but Sam continued. "Granted it didn't happen the best way but, you know that He always takes us when it's our time. We know that more than anyone."

Dean stared down at Sam who sincerely hoped that he could believe that. Dean couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that was plaguing him but accepted it as an inevitable fact as he unlocked the door and got in. Sam quickly joined him and Dean started the engine without another word.

_It __**was**__ an inevitable fact. He knew that. Not everyone they came across could be saved from every demon._

* * *

><p>After several hours of reading through the towns newspaper records they had come across a missing persons report that was dated back in December of 1909 and noticed that the case remained unsolved. Witnesses at the time remember seeing the man last walking down the same dirt road the house was now located on but no one had seen him again after that.<p>

After a little more digging the brothers came to the conclusion that the victim's body may have been buried on the property and sure enough when they returned to the house they found a shallow grave of bones buried under the porch.

The recent construction on the house had reawakened the spirit and since he had obviously died a violent death, (not to mention the evil that rose there from the rituals which they soon found evidence of) the ghost had manifested into a malevolent spirit who preyed on the residents of the site in which he was buried and probably died.

After salting and burning the bones, as well as the house (cause God knows no one needs to step foot in this place again) the brothers deemed that their work in this town was finished and Sam started to pack their things back into the trunk as Dean watched the place slowly burn to the ground.

The short trip back to their motel was tense and quiet and upon arriving Dean insisted that Sam finish packing up their things as he headed out real quick. Sam nods his head and Dean grabbed the keys from the table and walked out the door.

It was already late at night and Dean simply drove around for a bit but soon found himself back at the diner where he saw the same blonde girl from the previous day cleaning up. He quickly parks the car and walks up to the door, slowly opening it and making his way in. She doesn't even turn around to address him and simply states that they are closed. Dean noticed her cracked voice and slowly made his way to the counter.

She turns around and he greets her, introducing himself but she cut him off, claiming to remember him from the day before.

Dean sees fresh tears sliding down her face and she doesn't make an attempt hide them as she glances to her side and wipes one away.

Even though this most likely wasn't the best time for her, he decided to try and slowly ease into conversation and quickly realizes that she was the one who had found Isabelle, the name Jennifer printed clearly on her name tag.

"How are you doing? Are you okay?" His tone was soft and languid, hoping to ease her a bit although he knew that might very well be impossible.

She simply shook her head no, her face looking down on the floor as the images of finding her friend lying in her own blood came flooding back at her. Dean eases himself into a seat and gently asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She simply sighs as she picks at her nails, wondering why a stranger would even care but then looks back at him and lets a small smile escape her lips.

"You know a lot of people don't want to talk about it." She whispers, her voicing cracking more as fresh tears slide down her face and she sniffs as she wipes them away. "He always approached us with his stupid lines and his sexist jokes and," She lowered her head in shame. "If we didn't acknowledge him he always insisted that he'd fire us and make sure that we couldn't find work anywhere else."

She stared straight back at Dean as he listened attentively, disgusted at what he was hearing as a knot lodged in his stomach.

"This is a small town, everybody talks and _everyone_ knew what he was doing but…no one was willing to do anything about it. No matter what anyone said he still went on doing what he was doing and, a lot of us felt that there wasn't any other choice. Most of us have nowhere else to go."

She shook her head in frustration and reached out into her pocket, pulling out a thin silver chain and running it through her fingers. Dean immediately recognized it as Isabelle's, the angel shaped pendent swaying from the end of it.

Jennifer claimed that she had found it in the alley after the police took Isabelle's body away and that it was the last gift her father gave her before he died. Dean simply stared at it as she continued to run her fingers through it, as if trying to get some sort of comfort off of it.

"What about her Mom?" Dean gently asked her.

She shook her head again. "Angie's mom died when she was a baby. The day she was born she, had some sort of complication and just…passed away."

Dean felt sorry and let himself lower his head in silent mourning for a moment. To lose one's parents was _never_ easy.

She curled the necklace back into her fingers and looks down at it, trying to force a smile out.

"You know what's funny though." She whispered as her gaze met back at his. "Her father always used to tell her that angels were watching over her. That's why he gave her the middle name Angela when she was born and why everyone called her Angie." She laughed softly as she recalled some of their moments together.

Dean got an unexplainable feeling in his throat at the statement, knowing full well that angels did watch over them but that not everyone had the privilege of getting to know their personal guardians or even make friends with them.

It almost made him feel guilty.

"I guess he was wrong though." She states simply, carefully pocketing the necklace back into her apron, refusing to remove her hand from the objects embrace. "But I guess in a way she was looking after _us_. Now that Carlin Bates is being tried for her murder he can't hurt us anymore." She smiled, a wave of relief replacing her sorrow for just a moment. Dean noticed, even as her anguish crept its way back into her soul. "She helped free us you know. Now we don't have to be afraid of anything anymore." She paused for a second as she looked back at Dean, his eyes locked on hers as her smile returned. "Angie was our angel."

Dean couldn't help but agree and gave his condolences to her, saying goodbye and leaving the diner as she locked up. After walking her to her car he headed back to the motel where Sam was waiting with their stuff and left.

After just a few hours Sam fell asleep in the passenger seat and Dean let the music of the car drown his thoughts, as he mentally considered that God truly did work in mysterious ways, and that maybe, just maybe, he had mortal angels here on earth watching over everyone as well.

* * *

><p>After their case in Estherville Dean and Sam made their way back to Bobby's and Dean soon found himself calling out to Castiel. He showed up almost instantly with his typical "Hello Dean" and asked his charge if he needed something.<p>

Dean merely shook his head. "I just wanted to see you."

Cas didn't understand his reasons but noticed that Dean appeared a little preoccupied and the hunter explained that he just really wanted to see his friend after a while of not hearing from him. Cas accepted the hunters answer and carefully sat down next to him on the bed, his hands folding in front of him. They said nothing to each other for several seconds until Dean looked over at the angel and asked him a question.

"Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

Another eccentric moment of silence passed before he spoke up.

"You're always gonna be there when I need you right?" The look in Dean's eyes told Castiel that something was troubling the young man and that whatever fears plagued him told him that he needed someone to turn to in case he had no one else.

"Of course I will Dean. I always will." He replied flatly.

"And you know that I'll be there for you too right?" Dean was making no expressions in his statements and his questions puzzled the angel even more but he took it as his friend merely stating an obvious fact and nodded his head.

Dean had already proven his loyalty on a number of occasions to him. Why did he even need to question it? Castiel knew that he never let this rare side of him openly show unless he felt it necessary, the hunter always deeming these occasions as 'chick flick moments' he believed he called them.

Dean slowly let a smile cross his face and looked away as a small laugh escaped his lips.

"Good." He stared back at him, the blue orbs still looking a bit puzzled at the humans behavior. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that."

Cas shrugged his shoulders and replied that he did and Dean looked back down at the floor as he felt a massive wave of ambiguity roll off his entire body.

**To Be Continued…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: **I have to thank a certain author here too whose work I just recently came across. Thanks to vampireluvr15 for introducing me to music I never would have even come across without reading her stories. It's authors like her that have readers like me expanding my playlist and branching out to new sounds. Also a correction, I know I mentioned that Cas is still cut off from Heaven but what I meant to say was that he was still cut off from The Host. Obviously with war going on he can't be cut from Heaven so I figured that I should clear that up. Thank you to everyone who has given this story a shot. And please, PLEASE review. Reviews keep me smiling and focused. :)

**Written:** 20 March

**Soundtrack: **Blindness by Metric, Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall, Bring Me to Life by Evanescence

**Word Count:** 5900+

**Chapter 3**

Six months had passed since that intimate conversation.

A lot had changed since then and the almost apocalypse, and upstairs had become an anarchistic mess. Heaven was in complete disarray with Michael's absence and civil war erupted shortly after he got trapped in the cage with Lucifer. Cas was barely around because of it and the brothers could only wonder what the angel was up to. Last they had heard he had formed one side of the war, angels who opposed Raphael's takeover of Heaven commanded by him. The other, obviously by the douche archangel and his army of dickwads.

It was just all kinds of shit that was hitting the fan, and the Winchesters couldn't help but be somewhat grateful that they were not caught in the middle of it this time.

Sam and Dean were staying at the Budget Inn in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, finishing off with their latest hunt when Castiel called. Dean quickly answered the phone and was surprised at how fast he picked up the distress from the other end of the line before a single word was even said.

"Dean."

Cas' tone sounded irritable yet panicky. The hunter couldn't help but catch the bit of uneasiness in the angels voice, immediately wondering what could possibly be happening to effect the man this much.

"What's up Cas?" Dean quickly asked, masking his own worry that suddenly found itself hiding under his voice.

"I need your help. Where are you?"

Dean immediately gave him their location and room number and the angel was there before he even had a chance to hang up. He turned around to find Castiel standing in the middle of the room, the look on the angels face telling the brothers that the matter was quite serious and that they weren't going to like what they were about to hear.

"We have a problem. One that can't wait."

"What is it?" Sam asked carefully.

The story that Cas had to tell was lengthy and inarticulate, a characteristic so unlike Castiel, but Dean and Sam remained seated listening attentively and trying to wrap their heads around the facts that Cas tried to put into view for them. Dean presumed that the situation had to have been upsetting the angel greatly if he found himself asking more questions than explaining the few answers he had. He hadn't even mentioned what the hell it was yet that was bothering him so much and in the end the two of them had to force him to sit down before all his fidgeting caused him to hurt himself in some stupid way.

This was a side of Cas that Dean never thought he'd see and to be honest, it was scaring the crap out of him a little bit.

"Hold on a sec. Cas you're not making any sense. You haven't even told us what the hell is going on." Dean looked sternly at the angel as he stood up from the opposite bed and approached him, the sudden look in his eyes making Dean's stomach drop.

Cas' face showed general concern and worry but masked so much more. A mix of emotions that could only be described as fear.

_He was scared_.

Dean recognized that combination all too well. It was the same reaction that he made when someone was about to give him bad news about Sam. It was familial instinct, a territorial feeling of distress and anxiety and Dean suddenly realized what was plaguing the man.

"It's angels." He replied flatly.

Cas carefully nodded his head. "They're disappearing." His answer was slow and soft spoken and Dean could almost feel the torment.

"What do you mean they're disappearing?" Sam asked softly, also catching on to the angels dread.

"Not from Heaven but from here, on Earth. Not just a few. Hundreds. Including from my garrison." Cas explained, slowly and carefully as if trying to pinpoint exactly what he wanted to say without giving away something he shouldn't.

Didn't mean that Dean didn't catch it. He had spent much of the last two and a half years around the guy and knew his approaches almost as well as his brothers or his own. The angel wasn't telling them everything and he sure as hell wasn't going to let the man keep secrets. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop." Dean interjected. "What do you mean here on Earth? Are you talking about vessels?"

"I don't know." Cas replied innocently.

"Angels need vessels to ground themselves right?"

"Yes but I haven't been able to find out if vessels have been harboring angels here besides myself yet."

_How the hell can he not know?_

"What about Claire?" Sam butt in and Dean looked back at him. "Cas if someone is targeting angels _or_ the vessels then we need to find out if she's okay."

"I did. She's safe, as far as I know." He trailed off.

Dean knew that the kid wasn't technically his but she was Jimmy's and since he was now harbored inside the man his family was still his responsibility and a priority, if even just a small one.

"Okay well look, if angels are showing up here on our plane and are taking vessels and disappearing then we need to find out everyone who shares the same gene as Jimmy, you and me and we need to warn them." Dean stated, knowing that it wasn't going to be easy. _How the hell do you even know what to look for?_

"How long do you think that'll take?" Sam asked, knowing the same fact that his brother already had spinning through his own brain.

"I don't know but better safe than sorry so we need to get started as soon as we can."

"What do you think Cas?" Sam looked over at the now quiet angel.

"I think Dean is right." His answer was again soft, almost regrettable and unclear.

"Okay so we'll call Bobby and get him to start a list, maybe get some of his contacts to do the same and help us out. The more people we have calling the more of a chance we got at saving these people." Dean's mind was now spinning a million miles a minute. They had already had their fair share of apocalyptic mess thrown their way and even though life was normal (well, as normal as you can get anyways) there was still always someone who wanted to screw it for them. Fantastic.

"There's more." Cas continued, his tone going from disquiet to presentiment.

_Well of course there is._

"When an angel dies here they are born anew, returning to Heaven. The angels that have gone missing, haven't been doing that. They still have to be here."

"Okay well why can't _you_ find them?" Dean asked somewhat corybantic, knowing that angels were capable of sensing other angels even those who were far away. Cas should have been able to even with him being cut off.

Cas knew that look from Dean and at that moment he found himself loathing it.

"I've tried. Every time I hear about another angel possibly being taken I'm already too late and the angel is gone. I just don't know where." Cas replied flatly. He knew that a lack of his natural senses would make things harder for him but the feelings that came with it were something he hadn't prepared himself for, again.

For the past few months he could feel the Grace inside of him growing weaker and weaker with every day that passed and it weighed heavily on his mind. While he was in Heaven the effects were almost non-existent but the moment he touched down and took his vessel he felt the effects on his Grace almost instantly. And it only got harder to maintain with every trip he took. Soon enough there would be nothing left and he was unsure how he would be able to cope when that time came. _He hated it_. The foreboding, the inevitability. It was like having the ugly fact dangle in front of him mercilessly, taunting him, knowing that nothing could be done and refused to let him forget for even a moment. He just felt so…_useless_ and he despised the fact that sometimes he wasn't even able to do something as simple as sense when another angel was nearby.

That was how bad it had gotten.

It was something so basic that he depended on and lost and his few connections to The Host were severed, leaving him the brothers as his only dependency. It felt incredibly lonely at times.

He noticed that he was stalling and with the brothers merely staring at him, decided to just come clean. "I may not be cut off from Heaven but I'm still cut off from The Host and, I can't control when one of my powers suddenly leave." Castiel confessed, his tone small and shameful and he tried to avoid their gaze. "I'm having trouble sensing them."

Dean saw right through the man, even if he was tried to hide his eyes. Cas meant _so_ much more behind those few little words. He knew the 'u' word was bound to be one of those feelings and he swore that if he heard it he would probably clobber the man without a second guess. Useless was what the other Cas had said. The future Cas, the Cas who was always stoned, screwing women, and lost all his faith…all thanks to him. Dean was man enough to own up to it, the moment he realized he was the cause, and fought any which way to never have to see that half mad grin or that broken look in the angels eye. That wasn't _his_ Cas.

Fortunately for both of them (cause seriously, like he would stand a chance against an angel, even one who had been cast out and with weakening powers) the man did not let the word pass his lips.

He knew better than to say it in front of the hunter. He always hated how Dean tried to look past facts sometimes, even if they were the truth.

"So you need our help to find them." Dean replied, trying to ease the man as he softened his tone.

"Yes." Again, his response was almost unheard but he was thankful to see that Dean cared enough to catch what he was hiding and not look down at him for it. The hunter just had that uncanny ability of making everything better sometimes without even having to say a word. That was one thing Cas always did like about Dean, and appreciated.

"Maybe Bobby could help us with that too." Sam interrupted calmly. "I'm sure he can come up with something to help us track the angels."

"If he can I would be eternally grateful to him." Cas said, a sense of relief rolling in his voice.

"No, of course, I'm sure if Bobby can pick up on something, he'll help but what are _you_ gonna do?" Dean asked suspiciously. He had noticed the angel hadn't mentioned continuing the search which could only mean that he had something else in mind for himself.

"I'm going to keep searching for whoever's behind this." Castiel replied flatly.

"What? Why?"

"Why else Dean?" Cas saw it clear as day the moment his blue gaze met those hazel-green ones. Dean was completely against the idea but Cas saw no reason why he should be. "Someone is targeting angels, my brothers and sisters and I need to find out who and why."

"_We_ can do that Cas." Dean said sternly, pointing at himself and Sam.

"No I need _you_ to find them. _I_ need to find the one who is responsible for what's happening."

"Forget it!" Dean snapped. Did the guy have a death wish or something?

"Why? If you can find out where the angels are then I can stop it. Whoever is doing this obviously wants to accomplish something from it, maybe even killing them for it. I don't understand why you're fighting me about this." Cas felt an unexplainable anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach at the hunters unwillingness to understand him or the position he was in. If the brothers could help him find his brethren then he could deal with the one behind it. It was the only way to gain control over the situation and in Cas' eyes, the only option in which to do so.

"Because that includes you too dumbass!" Dean hollered, the sudden tension in the room rising to an extremely uncomfortable level. Wasn't it fucking _obvious_? "If this thing is after angels and newsflash, you just happen to have wings buddy, then that means that they'll be after you too and I'm not gonna let you just put yourself out there as freakin' bait. It's suicide."

_Suicide is a sin._ Cas found his anger quickly reaching a boiling point and swiftly stood to face the hunter dead in the eye. "What would you have me do Dean? Just sit here and do nothing while hundreds of my brothers and sisters are possibly killed?"

_Oh really? Okay birdbrain, two could play at this game._ "No but I'm sure as hell not gonna let you throw yourself at them and do God knows what. If they're looking to kill angels, then guess what, that includes you!" _What the hunter was really trying to say, I don't want __**you**__ to get hurt you idiot._

Cas' temper softened a bit at his charges concern, the anger inside receding a little but he found his own stubbornness and continued to insist. "Dean…I need to stop this." Cas chose his next words carefully, knowing that the hunter was never easily swayed into something he was against. "You promised me that you would be there when I needed your help. I'm asking for it now." His reply was stern and solid.

Dean did remember that conversation and knew that the angel was right. He had sworn to help Cas since the angel had sworn to help him whenever he needed to and he had kept his word. He would only be returning the favor but Dean selfishly thought that this may have been asking for too much. The angel was deliberately putting himself in danger for the sake of his siblings, his _dick_ siblings for Christ's sake, brethren who had mostly painted a bulls-eye on the back of his head and had sworn to hunt him down with all the wrath of Heaven. And even after all that he still wasn't willing to let them die if he could do something about it. _Bless the poor bastards heart._

Dean had to shake his head at this but then again, he had been in the man's shoes before, more times than he could count and knew the emotions that he was sure were running through the man's chest right now. He was starting to pick up on them himself.

"And you've got it, we'll help Cas but we can't do anything if this son of a bitch manages to get your feathery ass too." Dean countered.

"He's right Castiel." Sam added, getting up from the table where he sat and approaching the two. "We lose you then we lose the only connection we have to finding out what's happening to them."

Cas refuses to accept that they do have a point but they _are_ his brothers and sisters. No matter what they've done to each other or the issues they have they are still his family, even if his new family insists that he shouldn't get involved. Dean sees the wheels turning in Cas' head and knows that he's not going to like what he's about to hear.

"Cas." Dean softened his tone but his expression remained as firm as ever, as he put a hand on the man's arm, hoping that the angel would see his way. "You came to us because you knew you could, that we can help you but in order to do that you need to help us too. And that means staying safely away from whoever is doing this until we have more to go on." Dean was practically pleading, not that he'll ever admit it. "Please Cas. Just give us a little time. That's all I'm asking." He stated simply. "You don't _need_ to do this."

Cas looked down to where the hunter held his grip, knowing what he really wanted to say, holding his gaze there for a moment before looking back at him.

"I'm sorry Dean," And the sad look in his eyes said that he truly was. "But in that little bit of time another one of brothers may be dying and I need to help them. Please try to understand." Cas wasn't going to give up and knew the only person who could sway the hunter in understanding his position. "Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same for Sam."

A shrilly and uncomfortable moment passed as Dean could literally feel his stomach boiling, his grip twitching and wanting to tighten around Castiel as if he could keep the man there.

…_Damn it. The angel was playing the Sammy card on him knowing that the son of a bitch was right. Dean had played that card himself on the angel a few times. He was bound to catch on and throw it back in his face eventually. Tricky bastard._

Dean was stuck and he knew it as his jaw locked up tight in defeat.

_I hate you so much right now._

Castiel almost smiled at the hunters thought, knowing that he had won against the stubborn man.

After another moment's hesitation he dropped his head and arm in defeat, the urge to punch and knock Cas out quickly getting buried. "Fine."

Sam looked at his brother, somewhat surprised that just the mention of him in that situation was enough for Dean to accept that his angel had a point, even if he didn't like it.

"Fine we'll─ but," Dean sighed and looked at him firmly, he wasn't going to let the angel think he had won completely. "You better be careful Cas. You _better_ come back or I swear to Christ─"

"I will." He cut him off, the small grin still hiding under his lips. "And thank you." He gave them a relieved smile and he quickly disappeared before another word could be spoken.

After a moment of letting the fact simmer, Dean gave a huge sigh in frustration, knowing that the angel was most likely flying himself into what he was sure was a trap. He quickly turned around at Sam and shrugged his shoulders. "Alright so, let's just get our stuff and," Dean stopped as he looked around and realized that they weren't in the motel anymore…

…but in Bobby's junkyard, Impala and all. "Go to Bobby's." He finished off, trailing his words.

Sam gave out a soft laugh that he couldn't suppress. The actions the angel took did always impress him no matter what it was.

"You know it always freaks me out when he does that." Dean stated rather flatly.

"You gotta admit it's pretty cool though." Sam slowly walked to the back seat of the car where he found his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and grabbing Dean's as well.

"Eh." was Dean's only comment at that. He looked up at the stars above him as he felt a knot form in his throat. Sam noticed his spacing and merely watched his brother for a moment, his hand still on the open door of the car.

"Son of a bitch better come back." Dean growled under his breath as he turned around and grabbed his things from Sam's hand, making his way to the house and leaving his brother behind to soak in his words. There would be a big "I told you so" if he didn't. Dean never wanted to admit it, but he had grown attached to the angel these past couple of years and the idea of losing his friend scared him, almost as much as losing his brother. Dean rarely got a friend so when he finally did he did nearly whatever it took to keep them, fighting tooth and nail if need be.

It was something Sam had come to realize very quickly about his brother the past few years. He never dared show it but Dean could be a softy underneath all the attitude and smart remarks. The man did have a heart and when it came to those he cared about, he never thought twice about risking it all to protect them.

* * *

><p>Dean and Sam didn't know exactly how they could help Cas but they ran the news by Bobby, who claimed that he heard the same from some of his contacts. Knowing that Dean was the one with an angel on his shoulder he was presumed to be the expert by the hunting community but not even Dean had all the answers.<p>

He hung up the phone for what seemed like the millionth time as he checked another name off the list of possible angelic vessels that Bobby was able to find. How the older hunter was able to do so still baffled Dean but he figured with not much else to do that he had plenty of time on his hands to help them out. He gave out another sigh of frustration as the same story was repeated to him from the other line. It was the same one he had been hearing for the past five days straight.

"Another one?" Bobby asked, knowing full well what the answer already was.

"Yep. Haven't been heard from in 3 days. Already filed a missing persons report." Dean said tiredly.

"That telling you something?"

"Yeah, either kidnapping's on the rise or we have a vessel snatcher. I'd go with the latter." He said somewhat sarcastically, grabbing his pen and scratching out the name of their latest person to perform a vanishing act.

"Well I think it's a safe bet to say that we got something else going on here. Something maybe above our pay grade."

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, the kinks that had formed there the past two days tightening his muscles severely. "Yeah you're telling me. Where we at with the other hunters who are helping us?"

"Well as far as I know they're getting pretty much the same story from everybody, 'cept for a lucky few." He sighed with a gruff in his voice, removing his hat and scratching at his scalp.

"And they're all from different locations?"

"Different cities, different states, even different countries." He quickly placed his trademark back on his head and looked at the young hunter practically falling asleep with his arms crossed at the table. Their current problem wasn't the only one bothering him and Bobby decided that now was good a time as ever to try and pop the box open. "How you holding out?"

Dean just stared at him, lids partly closed but opening a bit to seem at least somewhat alert. "What do you mean?"

He didn't even _try_ to hide his grumpiness. Either that or he just didn't have the effort to.

"Well it's just that you haven't heard from your angel in a couple of days. Just wondering how you're holding out."

"He's fine Bobby." There was a bit of a snap in his tone and the elder knew that Dean was worrying. He tried to convince himself that it was true but in the back of his mind, it very much plagued him and he knew it.

The last time Cas had contacted them he told them that he had found a very promising lead and that he was going to look into it but had heard nothing from him since then. Dean wasn't one to worry but after a whole day of hearing nothing his calls to the angel were growing more frequent. He thought that Bobby hadn't noticed but the old goat could read the young man like a book and knew that he was getting antsy.

"Why don't you just give him another call." He suggested, hoping to ease his mind a bit. "I'm gonna go upstairs and wake up Sam. It's time you take a break."

"I don't need a break." Dean retorted.

"Whatever princess." Bobby wasn't even going to fight him and got up from the table, knowing it was true since he didn't even get a reply from the younger man about the comment. _Idjit_.

Dean slowly got up himself as the older hunter ascended the stairs and walked up to the window of Bobby's study, staring out at the open field in front. The day is just plain ugly outside, the trees are already losing their leaves and a soft spraying of wind and rain has rolled over the house in typical cloudy autumn fashion.

Dean felt the communication device in his pocket, the presence of it pressing on him like a ten ton weight and he quickly gave in to it. He took out his cell and dialed the same number he had called continuously for the past several hours and is again greeted by a voice recording. "_You have reached the voicemail of_…_I don't understand. Why, why do you want me to say my name…beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep…BEEP._" Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes, again.

"Cas it's me." Dean massaged his eyes, the lack of sleep in the last 50 or so hours weighing heavily on him. "Call me. Just…let me know that you're okay." He said flatly as he sighed and hung up, a tinge of frustration in his message. It was now the seventh message he had left and the ninth call he had made in the last two days and the angel had yet to return any of them. To say that he was worried for his wellbeing was beyond putting it mildly.

Another couple of hours of research and waiting for the phone to ring had Dean at the end of his rope and Sam insisted that he get some sleep. Even though Dean protested that he didn't need it Sam had known his brother long enough to know that he was lying through his teeth. His movements were sluggish at best and half the time he spoke he was mumbling and barely audible. He could tell that Dean wasn't thinking straight half the time from lack of rest but as stubborn as he was, Sam could be just as stubborn too. After heading to the kitchen and handing Dean a cup of coffee (decaf no less) that he spiked with a sedative, he found Dean soon losing the battle of closing his eyes.

Sam carefully picked him up from the table and led him up the stairs to their bedroom. Even with Dean slurring that he didn't need sleep Sam knew that the pills were kicking in and as soon as he got to the room Dean was practically collapsing on the bed. After removing his shoes and covering him in a blanket he heard him go from soft rambling to soft snores as his brother finally lost the good fight.

"Out like a light."

Sam sighed as he draped the covers over his brothers shoulders and smoothed out the blankets. Dean always knew that giving up was never an option but sometimes you just needed to let things go. Sam couldn't help but smile as he watched the frown lines on his brothers face disappear almost instantly, a look of peace soon taking over. Sam patted him on the shoulder and left him with a "sleep tight bro" as he headed back downstairs to continue their work.

_Sleeping pills are awesome…_

* * *

><p><em>Nightmares on the other hand, are <em>_**not**__ awesome…_

To say that the next few hours had gone chillingly slow was a nice way to sum up the time. While Sam and Bobby continued to look through hundreds of books worth of research and thousands of names worth of vessel candidates Dean remained upstairs sleeping, but it had not been peaceful for a few minutes now.

Dean found himself engrossed in another dream, back in Hell of all places, but this time instead of him hanging on the rack it was Cas who had taken his place.

_The hooks that skewered into the angel were bloody and deep and the pure look of terror was clear on his face. Dean could hear the screams of other souls who had found themselves in the Pit along with him and the growls of hellhounds, salivating and waiting for their next soul to devour. Dean could feel flames licking at his body, he never remembered there being flames, but he soon realized that it wasn't actually his body being torched but that of the angels. Dean was experiencing his pain and torment as a white hot jolt pierced through his chest._

_Dean let out a scream and again noted that it wasn't his. It was nowhere near the deafening sound of an angels true voice but was much louder than any humans. Dean could see his body being ripped apart as knives and teeth and claws cut and dug into the celestials flesh and his desperate screams for help fell on deaf ears, burning into Deans very brain. Dean wanted it to stop, knowing that Cas had done nothing to deserve this punishment, this castigation, but Dean could do nothing but watch as every action was mercilessly repeated and the angel continued to scream in bloody horror._

_His cries for help were soon replaced by cries to him, to Dean, screaming his name and praying for salvation from the one person he thought could save him._

"_DEAN!"_

_Dean felt tears welling up in his eyes as he heard the angels pleas but didn't know how he could help him, his own fear holding him back. He tried reaching out to him but Dean felt chained himself and couldn't get anywhere near him, not even close enough to tell him that everything was going to be okay. _

"_Cas!"_

_Dean felt a rip in his chest as he fought to get to the man but something more kept pulling him back and an image of a grey warehouse suddenly flashed into his mind._

_The place seemed oddly familiar and the open fields that surrounded the building had crossed his eyes once before. The next flash was much quicker but Dean could see faces, see people. Many people, all of their faces blank of any expression._

_They didn't even have their eyes open._

_He continued to hear Cas call out to him as the images of Hell returned, but his voice was fading in the background as another, more gentle voice took its place. It whispered to him, silently, telling him that he had to save him._

"_Save him." It repeated. "Save the angel Dean Winchester."_

_The female voice had him wracking his brain. He had heard it once before but couldn't remember where._

"_Save him Dean." She said, the voice strong and fierce. "You must save the rebelled angel, Castiel."_

_The voice disappeared almost as quickly as it had come and was replaced once again with Cas' desperate cries for help. Dean whispered, whispered to him that he was going to find him, that he was going to save him._

"_Hold on Cas."_

_Cas gave out one more desperate plea to him, calling his name and Dean knew no more after that as the images flooded away._

Dean woke up with a start, the urge to scream soon falling to the back of his throat as he heaved, trying to catch his breath but felt as if his lungs had been ripped from his chest. He started to cough, the hacking in his throat causing him to vomit what little he had on the side of the bed as he continued to try and draw in air.

Sam heard the commotion from downstairs and called out to Dean and one look at Bobby had them both getting up and quickly heading to the bedroom.

Dean remained clutching the side of the bed as he made desperate attempts at breathing but soon felt a hand on his slick back and another on his trembling arm as Sam and Bobby tried to sit him up. Dean continued trying to take in air as Sam called out to him, his hand now clutching tightly at his chest and his body curling in on itself. Sam started to rub soothing circles behind him and grasped his other hand over the one on Deans racing heart while Bobby asked him what the hell happened. Dean took a moment to collect himself, his other shaking hand now grasping on his brothers arm as he tried to calm his body, but the images of Cas being tortured were continually seeping into his brain.

He finally managed to breathe out a single word and Sam immediately went to asking him what he had seen, knowing full well that only a pure, honest to Hell _nightmare_ could cause this much panic from the hunter.

"Cas." He repeated again as he swallowed and tried to take in another breath. "Cas is in trouble. We need to find him. We need to find him now." Dean practically yelled the last part as he tried to get his tensed limbs to unwrap themselves and shuffle his feet to the floor to stand up.

"Dean, wait," Sam was quick to round the bed and help him up as his trembles and shakes managed to recede somewhat, Dean's sweat soaked skin almost causing Sam to lose his grip. "We don't even know where he is."

Dean looked fiercely into the younger hunters eyes, erasing any doubt that had been there. "I do."

* * *

><p>Now the incident <em>was<em> their problem. It didn't even take them more than five minutes and Dean was already dressed, loaded and stuffing their things into the trunk to leave. Sam said his goodbyes to Bobby promising to return soon enough and he in turn said that he'd be waiting prepared to help if he needed to. Sam thanked him and headed to the car as Dean fell into the driver's seat and started the engine. Sam threw his duffel into the back and slipped into the passenger's seat, closing the door as Dean pressed hard on the gas and raced out of the junkyard.

Dean's heart was literally racing along with the car as he broke nearly every traffic law and ignored every speed limit sign. He hands the map to Sam where he circled the town of Blue Ridge, Georgia in bright red marker. The destination is 19 hours away but Dean is determined to make it there in half the time.

Sam asks him how the hell he knows that Cas is there and he claims that they had passed the place on the way during their case in White Springs, Florida a couple years back. He saw the site of an old abandoned vehicle equipment warehouse in the dream and the images of all the angels inside.

"Cas is there I know it."

How Dean managed to remember that had Sam baffled but figured that it couldn't be a coincidence. Dean was certain of what he saw and wasn't willing to risk anything to chance. He knew Cas was there and he knew that they were going to find him either dead or alive. Dean prayed under his breath that it was the latter and pressed down on the gas again as he pushed the car to its speed limit, the scarred handprint on his arm pulsing in unison to the beating of his continually racing heart.

"Just hold on Cas. Just hold on."

**To Be Continued…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: **Okay so when I first went into writing this story my goal was to reach at least 4000 words per chapter. That's obviously not the case here since I just couldn't seem to squeeze that out of this one. Usually my chapters were about 1000 words or so but that just wasn't enough for me so I decided to challenge myself and pull out more than usual (although the longest I have ever written was about 15000+ for my now buried Naruto story, way too damn long in my opinion but my brain flew so). I certainly hope you enjoy but if you feel that there is just too much to read then please let me know and I will try my best to shorten it next time. No guarantees though of course. When the imagination runs, it runs. :) Just so you know there are 19 chapters total, some short some long and some in between. Thanks again for visiting and please, _please_, reviews keep me sane since the last couple of episodes have had me wracking my brain to the point of keeping me up at night.

**Written:** 21 March

**Warning: **This chapter can get pretty angsty so be forewarned.

**Soundtrack: **Missing by Evanescence, Angel's Punishment by Lacuna Coil, Make A Move by Lost Prophets, Get Out Alive by Three Days Grace

**Word Count: **3500

**Chapter 4**

_Emptiness._

_No matter what thought tried to pass through his frail mind he couldn't get the past the fact that his body felt weightless and numb and he was aware of nothing more beyond that. _

_One minute he felt joint splitting heat and the next he felt his bones cracking in protesting cold and his insides ached in their presence. He couldn't understand the sensations traveling through him and the emptiness that took over was unfamiliar and bare. _

_All awareness seemed to have left him and the weightlessness of it all had him fighting to know why._

_He felt the fire and he felt the ice but he couldn't for the life of him feel himself. Feel his surroundings. His limbs were dead and his heart and spirit felt so as well._

_He was trapped, trapped in pitch-black nothingness as the want to cry out to someone couldn't even begin to process for he felt lifeless and disconnected. He just wanted someone there. Someone to tell him that everything was okay. _

_That _he_ was okay. _

_He felt trapped in his own lonely abyss, surrounded by nothing more than dead silence._

_He was scared._

_Like a frightened child whose parent had abandoned him, he wanted only to curl in on himself and cry, the thought of forever being _alone_ hovering over him and dragging him into agonizing and unspeakable suffering._

_Didn't anybody care? _

_Didn't anyone love him? Need him? Care about him?_

_At this point, if he was dead or alive he didn't even know. At this point, he didn't even much concern himself with it. This nothingness, this, dead weight was so anonymous to him. It was like he wasn't even there. He just wanted to slip into oblivion and never feel another thought. He wanted this game of heat and cold and emptiness to be over and the world of endless void to be gone. To just leave him be. To have mercy on him…_

…_To let him fall._

"_Isn't anyone missing me?"_

* * *

><p>Dean held his foot on the gas for so long that he felt his leg cramping in complaint but he stubbornly ignored it. He was determined to make it to his destination as soon as possible and as if by some miracle, found himself there just over 10 hours later without a break.<p>

Sam felt as if someone or something had cleared their path to avoid any obstructions or delays but knew that Dean wouldn't trust that. All the older hunter knew was determination and hard work and miracles were for fools to believe in.

If that made Sam a fool, he would take it for what it was.

Dean slowly made his way through the rusted metal gates and up the stoned driveway and looked over at the tarnished three story building. Even in the dead of night the abandoned place still held some sort of presence, whether it was good or evil Dean couldn't tell and in all honestly didn't really give a shit. He just wanted to get in, find Cas and get him the hell out of there.

He quickly pulled up near the entranceway and got out of the car, not even letting the engine die down yet before he grabbed his gun and placed it into the waistband of his pants. He was feeling so incredibly trigger happy at that moment that even _he_ was aware that his state of mind was in an unhealthy balance. He quickly pushed it back but still felt his fingers twitch in happy anticipation.

Sam quickly grabbed his own from the side of the door and after scoping out the place to make sure that no one was around, the two of them quickly found their way inside.

The eerie silence of the place was deafening.

As they slowly made their way in Dean looked up at the rows and rows of dark lamps that covered the ceiling. There were two story tall paned window wrapped around every metal wall except for the back, the shards of broken glass and stones littering the floor glistening as the bright light of the moon peeked its way through. Dean carefully made his way towards the back of the building, rusty metal beams sticking out from the wall and concrete floor. The only form of office space being the small whitewashed staff room on the mezzanine above. The stand above their heads completely covered everything beneath it in shadow and Dean barely noticed the iron chains that hung from underneath.

The grappling hooks that swayed from them made Dean's stomach churn as the thought of what could hang from them was slowly creeping into his mind. He quickly pushed it out as he noticed a door towards the back wall, just under the office room, its steel frame almost shining from the little bit of moonlight that hit it.

"Sam."

His brother looked over to where Dean was staring and suddenly got a gut feeling that they were going to find the angel behind that door.

The two of them slowly walked over to it and Dean pulled down on the handle, the creaking of its hinges slowly dying as he opened it. What they were hit with next was an intoxicating and retched smell. Both of them had to cover their mouths and hold onto to their stomachs to keep from gagging and the tightness in Dean's chest only grew louder.

"_Hold on Cas."_

After taking in the smell the two of them walked in and found that the floor dipped into a narrow bricked hallway that barely had enough space for the two of them to walk side by side in. More smaller lamps strung above them and pipes snaked throughout the dripping ceiling and moldy walls, straight down under the open and paint peeled metal floor. Sam coughed slightly as the smell filled his lungs but Dean seemed unaffected, the need to find Cas disrupting his thought to process the stench. Dean didn't even think twice and heeded left, quickening his pace somewhat with Sam closely behind.

The more they traveled downward the stronger the smell was becoming and both Sam and Dean were finding it harder to block out.

They soon met up with a set of metal stairs that led farther down into the complex into an open steel room, leading them underground and Dean didn't hesitate to cross. The vapors that puffed from the large, old pipes that lined the bolted iron walls and floor dissipated the smell somewhat but it only lasted a moment as they passed by another doorway which led them to another more narrow hall.

_What the hell was this place?_

Dean quickly walked through it and the brothers eventually found themselves at another metal door, heavily corroded and cracked from misuse. There was a small window in the center of it and Dean looked through, seeing a lighted space and numerous grainy figures on the other side. He couldn't make out what they were, his stomach suddenly doing back flips as his brain teased him that he did, and with a little help from Sam the two of them were able to slowly and quietly open the heavy door.

The smell that hit them head on almost had their stomachs liquefying.

They immediately fell to their knees and doubled over, covering their mouths and noses as the smell stung at their eyes and burned their throats and lungs. Sam thought for sure that he would lose his guts but Dean painstakingly fought it off and turned his head to look inside.

The massive, three story tall metal sheeted room was strung with bright lamps. The space was warm, possibly from the ever blinding lights that shone from the ceiling and he was sure that the heat was not helping any with the reeking stench.

Long chains hung from above and after a while of their eyes adjusting, Dean and Sam could clearly see that underneath every single set, was a body.

Dean wanted to hurl, not from the smell but from the sight of hundreds upon hundreds of corpses that lined the place. Some showed advanced stages of decay while others looked like they had just started to rot, the process probably speeding up with the presence of all the other corpses.

_What was Cas doing here?_

Dean slowly got up and helped up Sam who was still trying to heave the smell from out of his throat. Neither one even wanted to breathe. Dean swallowed and pressed on and the two of them carefully made themselves down the several flights of stairs as the tortured scream of a man filled the air. The noise as well as the bright light that came with it was intense and the brothers found themselves having to cover their ears and eyes but they both soon died out.

They could barely see anything past all the deceased but soon heard echoing footsteps walking away and a door towards the back opening and closing.

Suspecting that they were now alone Dean ascended the final steps of stairs and started to walk down the lines of people trying to pinpoint Cas. Sam quickly walked another way to do the same, ignoring the liquid sensation wanting to travel up his throat and down his nostrils and notices that many of them are carrying bloody punctures in their chests. He starts to suspect that if an angel was indeed occupying them, then it's a safe bet to say that they were being sought after and killed by having their Grace removed.

Sam comes to the chilling realization that the bodies that are left are simply the now unoccupied, and unfortunately _deceased_ vessels.

Even children hang among them.

"Oh my God…"

Sam couldn't understand how a cruelty like this could go on and to have no one intervene or try to stop it. It saddened him greatly and his trust in God is given a major punch in the gut at that moment. There's just _no_ way that he would allow this.

That idea is soon destroyed as his eyes catch a dark haired little girl, her long hair half way picked up in red ribbon pigtails and wearing a blue and white checkered sundress. She was maybe no older than 7 or 8, the same bloody puncture in her chest as those around her and her pale freckled face pure and serene. He noticed a small gold necklace hiding just under the neckline of her dress and he carefully picked it up, noticing the crucifix engraved on the small round tag. _An even bigger punch, this one feeling more like nails sinking into his stomach._ He slowly flipped it over and found a name engraved on the other side. Kristy.

Sam felt his heart plummet as he could only imagine what her life was like before this. Loved by her parents, playing with her friends, enjoying her childhood, not having a single care in the world that she would have as an adult.

And now she would never get the chance.

Because of a Holy war that was being fought, a war that she had no knowledge of and no connection to, dragged her out of her peace and it all disappeared in an instant, leading to this series of unfortunate events for her. It wasn't even _just_.

"_How could You let this happen…"_

Sam, being the person that he was, lowered his head in silent mourning and let a small tear slide down his cheek. He looked back at her, the truth of it all paining him to no end as he whispered to this now passed child, pushing a small strand of hair from her pale face.

"…I'm so _sorry_."

Sam didn't know why, but all his belief in God suddenly collapsed at that very moment, leading him to believe that He truly _had_ abandoned them all.

* * *

><p>Dean continued walking around frantically looking for Cas amongst the maze of unfamiliar faces. Sam continued to do the same as well, eventually peeling himself from the girl and going from random angel to random angel, checking for signs of life. Even with the bodies that showed no signs of trauma Sam got nothing.<p>

"They're dead." He whispered, a broken sob evident in his echoed voice. "Dean they're all dead."

"Shut up Sammy." Dean growled under his teeth and tried to block out his brothers stupid words, mentally repeating in his mind that he was going to find Cas, alive.

The sweat trailing down the side of his head made him anxious and the droplets on his brow start to travel down and sting at his eyes. Dean wasn't certain but he thought that some of the wetness wandering down the side of his face wasn't just from the heat.

He continued to skim through the bodies, pleading in his mind for someone or something to give him a sign, _any_ sign, still not finding the familiar angel anywhere.

He stopped in the middle of one of the seemingly endless rows to catch his breath. His throat burned and he was starting to feel like this was going to be impossible as his hands trembled on his knees. He started to mentally curse at himself, the idea of giving up making his insides boil.

He did not travel all the way here to leave empty handed and he sure as hell wasn't going to just quit when he was this close. He _couldn't_. He swore to himself, he _promised_ to Cas. He would be there for the angel whenever he needed his help and he meant every word. Dean was never someone to half-ass anything and he sure as fuck wasn't going to start now. Even if he had to look through every inch of this fucking place he was going to find him. He was going to save him.

…_Save the angel Dean Winchester._

He, had, _**sworn**_ it.

Dean immediately picked himself back up and started to quickly pace again, continuing to pass by a hundred unfamiliar faces and still couldn't find the one he was looking for. The only one he wanted. He sped through several more, not even bothering to glance at the faces when he suddenly felt a small tug in his chest, like something was drawing him in a certain direction. It grew as he stopped, his legs working on their own accord and pulling him to walk. He picked up his speed as the feeling only grew stronger.

As he ran faster he heard a voice suddenly whispering quickly in his mind. He couldn't understand what it was telling him but he focused on the sensation now pulsing in his chest and ran down the rows at a faster pace, practically sprinting. Dean couldn't explain it but it was like he knew exactly where he needed to go and the farther back he ran the stronger the feeling was becoming and the louder the voice got.

After several moments of passing through countless bodies Dean found himself towards the back and as he looked to his side he noticed something near the end, something that him releasing a long held breath that he never realized he was even clinging to.

A familiar tan trench coat and a familiar angel dressed in it.

"_Cas_."

* * *

><p>"Sam!"<p>

Sam's head immediately snapped up as he heard his brother calling out for him and he quickly followed his screams, the sensation that Dean had finally found the angel coming to light as he reached him.

'Holy Christ.'

Sam could only stare at the deathly still man.

Dean was already picking at the shackles around the angels wrists and prying him loose and Sam quickly positioned himself underneath, wrapping an arm around the man's waist. Dean quickly pried open the first and carefully supported the angels arm, carefully bringing it down to Sam who placed it over his shoulder. Dean then grabbed the other and quickly released his hold there as well, supporting his arm as Sam gently lowered him to the ground.

"Cas?" Dean placed a warm hand on the side of the man's face but got no reaction from him.

"Cas!"

"_Can you hear me?"_

…_Something was happening in the void._

_He had felt someone gripping his hands, the tight soreness around his wrists paining him a little as the blood started to flow through his drained limbs once more. The numbing cold is excruciatingly agonizing but the warmth that he suddenly feels against his chest quickly tunes it out, bringing a welcoming comfort. He is aware of someone speaking, if was it to him, but he cannot answer. His back is suddenly placed against something cold and hard but the warmth doesn't go away. He can't understand what is happening but it causes a shiver to run through his body, an unpleasant sensation that he cannot control and does not want._

_Was somebody there for him?_

Dean notices it and places his middle and index fingers under the man's chin. He feels his own heart beating in his ears and after an unbearable moment is relieved to feel a beat from Cas. It is short lived however as he takes into account that it is entirely too weak and is taking too long until the next one comes.

They also take in the milky complexion and Dean silently prays that the unconscious angel is not too far gone. He also notes that the angels skin is cold and incredibly clammy and wonders how that's even possible in this stifling heat. He immediately pushes the thought aside as his mind starts to race.

"We need to get the hell out of here." Dean says and considering how frighteningly light the angel feels Sam is easily able to carry him, an arm supporting him under his shoulders and the other under his knees. Sam also takes in the shallow breath against his chest and realizes that it is not coming fast enough.

Just as they are about to head out they hear the door on the other side of the room open again and realize that the person they heard from before has returned.

"Shit."

_Someone was carrying him now. The warmth that was once on his chest is now on his side, back and legs. He cannot interpret the sensation but he somehow feels that this warmth brings safety. It brings peace. He feels another presence there, one that is unmistakably familiar but that he cannot physically reach out to. His body is beyond unresponsive and he feels the numbness slowly creeping up, its dark presence hoping to lull him back towards it. It is an unwanted feeling but he tries to focus on the comfort instead, his will to fight clinging on desperately._

…_He wasn't alone._

"Aw damn it." Dean whispers through clenched teeth and the two crouch down as the footsteps approach and faintly pass them by. He notices another trembling shiver rip through the angels body and knows that they can't afford to be caught with him in this state so he quickly whispers to Sam who lets go of the angel, transferring one of Cas' arms over to him. Dean grabs it carefully and wraps it over his shoulder, his other arm wrapping around the angels waist and hoisting him up as Sam does the same. Cas doesn't even move. They both carefully head the opposite way to the cold wall, half carrying, half dragging the angel and start to carefully run towards the front where they entered.

The smell grows stronger the closer they get and Dean can't get the rotting corpses out of his head. He actually feels guilty leaving the angels who are possibly alive there. He knows that Sam is struggling with the same thing but he also knows that they can't risk being discovered and the two of them quietly slip out through the stairwell as they hear the scream of another angel, her turmoil quickly being silenced.

Dean blocks it out as Cas' weight is quickly but carefully transferred back into Sam's arms. After getting past the metal door in which they entered they run back through the maze of hallways and stairwells and soon reach the outside of the building faster than when they went in. They quickly reach the car and Dean hoists Cas into the back, handing the keys over to Sam. After charily positioning him Dean jumps in and guardedly shifts the angels upper body into his lap, leaving Sam to hop into the driver's seat and get them out of there. He barely has the door closed as he firmly steps on the gas and quickly hauls ass out of the place, the ominous site behind them quickly disappearing from view behind the breeze blown trees.

As the car races out of the complex someone watches from afar, looking down at the Impala with a cold sharp gaze…their expression a blank and unreadable stare.

**To Be Continued…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: **You'll notice that the incident in Van Nuys from 5x18 is mentioned in this chapter. Just so you know I am following the series of events from "I'm Here for You" written by crOwnlEssG. Lots of brotherly love so I couldn't resist adding that little bit in here. There is also a sequel to it called "Hot Chocolate and Clouds" that I think you may like to check out as well if you have not already done so. Both highly recommended.

**Written:** 22 March 2011

**Soundtrack:** Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory

**Removed Track:** My Tourniquet by Evanescence (I think this song describes Cas' current position right now in the show so perfectly that I just couldn't use it here)

**Word Count: **5500+

**Chapter 5**

Sam could feel his heart racing so hard that it physically pains his chest and causes an uncomfortable pressure in his ears. He looks into the rearview mirror at his brother and the lifeless angel in his lap. He swallows hard at the scene behind him and can't help but start praying to himself not only for the angels sake, but his brothers as well.

Dare he say it, Dean was scared.

Sam saw it so clearly through his eyes that it frightened him. Dean was always the strong one. The one he depended on whenever he felt like he couldn't handle his troubles. Behind his usual façade Dean hid so much and right now, it looked like all the emotions he had been bottling for the past few days had him ripping at the seams. Dean didn't deserve it. Sam felt the urge to let go of the tears that threatened to come out at that moment but simply pushed harder on the gas and brought out his own hard glare. Dean was worried enough. The last thing he needed was his anxiety peaking any higher than it already was. It took a lot to do it, but Sam could tell that Dean's walls were cracking and when they finally did break, he alone would not be strong enough to withstand what hid behind it. So Sam did the only thing he could do.

It was the same thing he had done every single day since the moment Dean had been brought back to them from Hell.

He prayed.

After just a half hour on the road they finally had to stop to fill up on gas, which Sam realized lasted a _good while_ longer than it should have (they never even had to stop on the way there which was damn right impossible, but had somehow been done) and while he quickly took care of that Dean remained in the back still holding onto Castiel.

As he had been doing since they made it out of that place, Dean continued counting the seconds between every beat the angel gave and quickly realized after the second or third that it was nowhere near where it should have been.

Sam tried not to stare but the fact that his brother had incessantly done the same thing for such a period of time was so unlike him, it actually worried him. Cas must have been in bad shape for Dean to not even take his eyes off of him, as if afraid that if he did he would lose him. Sam bit the inside of his cheek instead and focused on their surroundings, noticing that they were the only ones in the entire dimly lit station. Not even the store was open and Sam silently thanked whoever it was for small miracles. After finishing with filling the tank he quickly got back into the driver's seat and sped back on the road.

Every passing hour was silent and uncomfortable. Sam tried to drive it out with the noise of the tires on the asphalt and glanced back every so often at Dean, who was clearly still counting under his breath. His expression hadn't changed which only told him that the angels condition had yet to either.

Dean had gone to studying the bruising on the angels wrists, the imprints of some sort of sigil branded over his pulse points. Dean didn't even need to guess what they were for. Sons of bitches didn't even want the man to squirm when they ripped out his Grace.

Dean let the image burn into his brain; swallowing at the uncomfortable knot in his throat and swearing that he was going to get back at the person who had done this. They would never leave his mind. Just as the images of Hell still brought him torture in his dreams; the pain, the agony, the crimson tides that flowed from him, he would never, ever, let them go.

Cas appeared to be suffering from shock and had slipped into a comatose state. He made no movement or sounds and that only made both hunters even more nervous. Dean held on desperately to the angel, wrapping an arm under his shoulders and the other around his torso, cradling him and keeping him close to his chest. Even though he doubted it would do anything Dean tried to keep him warm and paid close attention to his breathing, as well as his heartbeat.

Every time he looked back Sam noticed his counting but after the tenth or so time he noticed that the movement of his lips had changed and could have sworn that Dean was now praying.

Dean never prayed and if he was doing so now then things must have been desperate for him to make such a move.

Whether it scared Sam or assured him, he couldn't understand at that moment. After witnessing what he'd seen back at the warehouse his faith in God had been pretty much shattered almost indefinitely and he held onto whatever little hope he had left. To who or what that was for he didn't have the answer for either. He simply let his thoughts slide and continued to drive.

Within a couple of hours Cas had started to groan pitifully and mumble under his breath.

Neither brother could understand and assumed that his words must have been in Enochian but Dean just held him tighter and simply started to whisper that he got him and that it was okay. Dean didn't know if that was the truth but pressed on and continued to softly mouth the words every time the angel spoke.

When he did Sam gave a silent prayer and when Dean checked his pulse again Sam gave another. It was the only thing probably keeping him sane at the moment. Besides driving, Sam focused on watching his brother's expressions and on Castiel who had still yet to move. Sam felt his grip on the wheel tightening. He had only driven for about three hours and they still found themselves in Tennessee. The trip back usually felt shorter but for him it just seemed to drag on.

"Can't you drive any faster Sam?" Dean spoke softly but he could hear in his voice that his teeth were gritting and he was obviously irritated.

Guess that meant Dean felt the same. It was the first words he had actually spoken the whole damn trip.

Sam could only nod and pressed even harder on the gas, going well over double the speed limit for the road. Before he knew it he had reached a clearing with a small bridge that crossed a shallow stream. Sam hadn't remembered that on their way to Blue Ridge but it was the only road there so he quickly crossed it without another thought. His gaze went back to the dirt road ahead of him when he noticed that it had now changed to stony asphalt. Sam slowly stopped and Dean quickly looked up at him.

"What the hell Sam? Why are you stopping?"

Sam looked back and noticed that the bridge behind him was now gone and that they were completely surrounded by dense woods. He immediately recognized the area as a town just a half hour south from Sioux Falls.

"Dude what the hell." Sam whispered under his breath as he turned back around to face forward toward the dashboard.

Dean looked around out the window himself and noticed the change in scenery as well.

"What the? Are we─"

"In Canton." Sam cut off.

Dean had to take a moment to process that. "Dude there's no way."

"Dean, I don't think─" Sam didn't even know how to finish that sentence. His hands shook, the reason for that being unknown to him at the moment and he simply exhaled a sharp breath. He wanted to know why the hell he suddenly found himself closer to the only thing he really considered home and true safety but thought better. This wasn't exactly a problem but more an, _uninvited_ yet _grateful_ solution that he couldn't blow off. Instead he just gently took his foot off the break as his leg started to cramp in unison with his now tensing muscles and continued to drive as Dean slowly sat back down against the seat, clinging onto Cas even closer.

Talk about small miracles. If you could consider this one _small_. Sam pictured that someone must have intervened and he sure as hell wasn't going to question it. He couldn't explain it, but he just had this stinging sensation in his chest that someone must have been watching.

* * *

><p>It was now a couple of hours before sunrise by the time they reached Bobby's. After immediately parking the car Sam opened the back and Dean carefully maneuvered the still unconscious man into his arms, allowing Sam to carry him inside. He was immediately put into their bedroom upstairs and after removing his coat, jacket and shoes the brothers covered him in several blankets and tried to keep him as comfortable as possible. Dean continued to check his vitals but still didn't like what the angel was giving. No worse, but still no better. He hadn't even said another word.<p>

After noticing no obvious injuries besides the bruising on his wrists from the shackles, and still getting no sign of Cas waking up anytime soon the two of them decided to take turns watching over him and Sam took the first shift.

After nearly breaking down his door and screaming at the top of his lungs to open the damn thing Bobby demanded some answers from the elder Winchester, as well as a couple of explanations (give or take how many a _couple_ actually were).

"How the hell did you get here so fast? You shouldn't even have made it to Blue Ridge yet." Bobby exclaimed. He knew the young man was a speeder but this was a dangerous new record, even for him.

"I got there in like half the time Bobby. We picked up Cas like 4 hours ago."

"4 hours? A trip crossing six states don't take no 4 hours boy." Maybe on a plane, he thought, but sure as hell not on four wheels. Not that he was aware of anyway.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Dean spat. "Sam and I were in Tennessee a half hour ago. Next thing we know, we're just outside Canton. I can't explain it okay." To tell the man that he was just as weirded out as he didn't even need to need to be said. He already knew it.

"Canton? How the hell did you show up in Canton when you were still three states away?"

"I don't know. Divine intervention?" Dean was getting aggravated but Bobby couldn't tell with what exactly. He had his suspicions but thought it best to ease into them instead of go all out in one shot.

"Divine Intervention? You mean like…God?" Bobby asked somewhat baffled.

"I don't know but…_somebody_ cut the trip short and brought us here." Dean paced as the thought of such an idea coursed through his head. He looked up to see the hunters eyes and didn't like the look he was getting from him, so much so that he found himself nearly hollering back."I don't know Bobby. I'm not exactly going to ask _why_ the hell they or _what_ did it okay? I don't have any answers for you."

Bobby didn't even say a word. Instead he now found himself pacing and scratching at his scalp as Dean's pacing stopped, quickly replacing the cap and thinking hard.

Dean knew that the older hunter had something else on his mind and gave him a look as if asking him what it was. He already knew that the man who was practically his father could read him pretty darn well. Dean had come to do the same these past few years himself. "Something you wanna share with the class?"

"You said _4_ hours." He replied flatly looking back at him, his gaze unreadable under his cap.

"Yeah." Dean's tone was just as flat but still held curiosity under his tongue. "Why?"

Bobby sighed and walked over to his desk, picking up a list of connections that had called him about the massacre and handing it to Dean. "I started getting some calls around the same time. Few hunters stumbled on the place. Following omens and such." He paused for a moment and Dean figured that it couldn't be a good sign. The sigh he gave next only confirmed his fear. "They found what was there Dean. All our missing persons." He gave him a look as Dean simply looked down at the list of all the people, skimming name for name. "You wanna tell me what you saw?"

"You know Bobby, I'd rather not." Dean said somewhat sternly, the images alone were bound to give him nightmares for the next few weeks.

Bobby saw the emotions hidden in his eyes and chose not to press on further. If he wanted to talk, he would talk (which was usually never). Forcing it out of him would do nothing beneficial so he simply continued. "Alright then. Just so you know," Bobby sat down into his chair behind the desk, trying to get comfortable despite the conversation he was about to start. "The guy they found ripping everyone's hearts out has been taken care of. Took him out quick."

Dean just stared at him.

"It was right after you boys left." He paused. He wasn't sure whether he should turn the conversation to this point but he was sure as hell curious at the turn of events that had unfolded in the past few hours. "Now I usually don't believe in coincidences but I think someone was watching, and was waiting for you to find Cas and get him the hell out before they stepped in."

"Why would you say that?" He slowly found himself sitting on the top of his desk and expecting an explanation. _Please don't let this be a 'God' thing._

"You think it's just a coincidence that you find him and then right after, they find _that_." Bobby said somewhat aggressively. "I don't think so boy. Someone _had_ to have been watching."

"Well if that's true then why the hell didn't they step in and stop it?" Dean retorted, his annoyance quickly getting to him.

"I don't know." He shrugged simply. "Maybe there was something they had to wait for first. _I_ can't begin to tell you."

"Yeah well excuse me if I think that's a load of crap."

"Don't look at me Dean. I can't explain it. If I say something was watching then I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that something was. I don't know what or who but there's just no way that it got stopped just after you left. That's just too close a call. At least to me it is." Bobby bellowed as his aggravation with the hunters attitude quickly shifted. The boy may not have been blood but he sure could have fooled him.

Dean just huffed in frustration at the tension now stuffing the air and stared down at the ground.

Bobby mimicked him with one of his own and allowed himself to calm before starting again. "Got a few other phone calls too." Dean looked back at him, the stern look on his face saying that he wasn't sure he wanted to hear any other bologna from the older hunters mouth. "There were similar massacres in five other states, including Pennsylvania, Texas, California, Nevada and North Dakota. Just as gruesome too."

Dean felt a knot forming in his throat and couldn't help but rub a hand across his eyes as the images burned into his brain for that brief second.

"All the bodies have been properly disposed of, and the few left alive have either had their angel abandon their vessels and probably return to Heaven or died shortly after that."

Dean allows the news to sink in and is interrupted with a mix of emotions that he cannot interpret.

"Not only that, every single person found had one thing in common, as we expected."

"They were vessels." Dean noted softly.

"Every last one." Bobby confirmed. "All our missing persons and then some, and all of them carried that special angel mojo gene that you and Sam got. Every one."

Dean suspects that he is feeling pain for the thousands, possibly dozens of thousands of lives lost and he isn't sure how to take it. Bobby sees this and tries to snap him out of it, pulling up his chair, folding his hands on the desk and staring straight at the young hunter who has yet to remove his gaze from the pile of book in the corner.

"I'm sorry Dean, but someone was killing off vessels and the angels already in em' and I don't know why." Bobby gave another piercing look. "The only thing I can think of that can do that is another angel." Bobby held a look of question in his eyes, one that Dean did not like in the least.

Dean already _knew_ this. The last time he was faced with the trouble that someone was killing off angels it turned out to be Uriel, dick archangel of the month.

The elder hunter patiently waited as Dean contemplated his thoughts, whatever they may be.

Dean thinks he is about to ask if he should try and pry the information from Cas and is unsure whether he will somehow control himself or slug the old man. Dean was barely able to handle everything _he_ had seen in that warehouse. How the hell did he expect Cas to do so when everyone there was a brother or sister. If he were in his shoes, he'd probably go insane.

To his relief, he doesn't, but what he says next doesn't make him feel any better.

"There aren't many left." He starts and Dean knows that something bad is about to be dropped on the table. "On this continent alone you can count the ones remaining with the fingers on your two hands. I'm getting calls from Ecuador, India, Spain, Egypt, Japan, all over the damn world asking me what the hell is going on."

"Why the hell are they asking you?" Dean seemed somewhat disgusted, yet perplexed. What was Bobby the _Holy Hunter_ of the supernatural community?

"You're the one with the angel on your shoulder. News of your ass being pulled out of Hell was big news Dean. You're the only one we know about who actually got his soul put back in his body after a trip to the Pit." Bobby says somewhat matter of fact. "You and Sam are already famous hunters amongst us but you Dean are now on a whole other level. You got something we don't. And that's an angel watching over your ass."

_And now that same angel is the one who needs watching over. And that so happens to fall on me too._

If this was Bobby's way of saying that Dean was a celebrity in the hunting community it really didn't make him feel any better. In fact it made him want to shrink in on himself. Dean swallows miserably at this and decides to change the subject, asking if Claire Novak was one of the victims.

Bobby replied that he already looked into it and that she was thankfully still alive and well.

Dean then asks what the end game was and Bobby merely shrugs that he thinks that if a battle were to occur here on Earth that the angels would need some way to ground themselves. No vessels to occupy, no angels on Earth.

"This _was_ the work of another angel. It has to be." Bobby gruffed. "I've never heard of any demon who can swing the type of shit this guy did."

Dean could only sigh. He had his suspicions and he got the feeling that he may have been right on it. One angel stood out in particular but Dean said nothing to the man. If it was him, Dean would personally make sure that he bit the dust one way or another. "Yeah well, like you said it's been taken care of so, if that's the case then we need to assign someone to protect the remaining vessels that we know about. Make sure that whoever is behind this shit doesn't get to finish what he started."

"It's already done." Bobby nodded. "I've got a couple of the best hunters I know looking after Claire so you don't need to worry. She's safe."

Dean gives him an apprehensive smile but Bobby already knows that he appreciates it. Not that he'll ever say it.

"So what now?" Dean huffed again.

"Well, besides that we've now been established as the official angel condom protection program…mortal weapons can't do shit against an angel but it's all we've got. I've already been looking into a few spells that could help us. Maybe cloak them so that no other angel can find em'."

"Kind of like the sigils Cas carved into me and Sam's ribs."

"Something to that effect. It might not be as productive but it's what we've got to work with."

Dean looks down at the list again and then back at Bobby who can tell that something else is bothering him. Whatever it was, he wasn't going to like it.

"How many are left by the way? I mean here."

"In our territory." Bobby paused before he spoke. Another bad sign. "Seven."

Dean's eyes nearly bulge as he looks away and tightly grits his teeth, shutting his eyes and letting out a forced breath. "And everywhere else?" He asks somewhat roughly without even looking back at him as he pursed his lips. Dean _really_ didn't want to know.

"The rest of the world, they're still counting but I doubt there are many more left."

Bobby's tone didn't ease Dean in the slightest but he wasn't going to lie to him. Bobby never liked to hide things and unfortunately, this was something Dean had to know.

As Sam remained upstairs watching over a still unconscious Cas, another entity suddenly appears in the room. With just a thought, Sam finds himself suddenly slumping into the chair in which he was sitting and slipping into a deep sleep.

After waiting a moment the visitor slowly makes their way from behind over to the bed, where Cas has yet to move and carefully places their middle and ring fingers on his forehead.

After a brief few seconds they then move down and place their hand over his quivering chest.

After just another moment passes they remove it and he softly gasps in reaction.

His breathing is all of a sudden steady and relaxed, the labored and shallow huffs from before ceasing in an instant. As he slowly slips into a now peaceful sleep the visitor takes one more moment to watch him and quietly disappears.

Dean, getting a sudden warm feeling in his chest, comes up shortly after and sees Sam knocked out on the chair. He then looks over at Cas who appears to be asleep as well and goes over to the angel to check him. After keeping his fingers under the pulse point in his neck for a few seconds he is relieved to feel it much stronger and faster. He also places a hand over his forehead and feels that he has also warmed up, his skin is no longer clammy and his body no longer suffering through shock. He even notices that his breathing is coming in steadier and he can't help but give a sigh of relief.

He says a silent thank you and takes a seat on the other bed, watching both his brother and the angel sleep as a wave of relief rushes through him.

…

The visitor remains watching outside from afar, sitting down on a roof across the field with their arms placed on their knees and legs crossed in front of their chest, their gaze focused straight through the window of the Winchesters bedroom.

They soon find out however, that they have a visitor themselves.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

They don't even bother to look back as they regard the question asked of them.

"Do not worry. I am not here to harm anyone."

That statement convinced him of nothing. "Yeah well in my experience when you tell someone that it's usually the opposite. Now tell me who the hell you are!" He commands.

They say nothing and merely turn their head to look up at him, their dark brown orbs focusing straight into his amber ones.

He remains unmoved for what seems like an eternity but suddenly finds himself lowering his bearings as he is revealed the glint of rose red in their eyes and realizes who and _what_ they are. He tries to form words but cannot seem to get his mouth to work. Instead he simply swallows and apologizes instead, immediately breaking eye contact and asking curiously what business they have to be down here on Earth of all places as they look back towards the house.

"I have been given an assignment. I will be keeping tabs on things for the time being." They slowly stare back at him and he is reluctant to look back. "You do not need to worry."

Even though it is not his obligation, they know that the archangel is simply watching out for Castiel and has been checking in from time to time since after the incident in Van Nuys. Knowing that he cared for Castiel that first week before he died at the hands of Lucifer, he is simply being cautious. They are also aware that of all the siblings, he is closest to him and knows that anyone who should come to harm the soldier will be dealt a vicious blow.

He is unsure of what to say since they are not being specific. "Well then, if you're keeping tabs on the place then what about the Winchesters?"

"They are not my concern."

Again, no trace of emotion whatsoever, he notes. This one was a hard nut to crack.

"Oh." He replies somewhat cutely. He remains standing next to them but feels downright uncomfortable and sits down to take a seat beside them instead, mentally reminding himself how he never could stand the discreet answers of their kind.

They seem to have heard his comment and look back at him.

He refuses to meet their gaze as they look back towards the house but admits that he knows it was they who told Dean where to find Castiel and that he is grateful for it. "A little birdie ended up telling me a little too late. If I would have known I could have joined ya." He chimed.

"It was not my intention to intercede." They reply, their expression as stern as ever. "But the situation was cutting a bit close. I had to act in some way."

"Some way? From what I heard you did more than just pull a few strings here and there honey. You practically manipulated a good bit of it."

He didn't even much as get a reaction from them beyond a simple glaring stare. Again, he can't stand the discreetness but accepts it for what it is and tells them that he'll be around as he quietly disappears.

The visitor says nothing as they continue to watch intently. As the small breeze dies down and the sun starts to peak over the horizon they disappear as well.

* * *

><p>Dean wakes up from his spot against the headboard a couple of hours later and sees Sam waking up as well, slowly removing the blanket that was draped over him.<p>

"Morning sleepyhead."

Sam takes in the familiar surroundings around him, wondering when he fell asleep, not even realizing that he had.

"Something on your mind?" Dean asked curiously, noticing the preoccupied and bewildered look on his little brothers face.

"No, uh," Sam quickly covered his face and massaged his fingers over his eyes, as if trying to relieve a slight headache that came over him. He quickly brushed it off and looked back at Dean, a look of concern now evident on his face. "What time is it?"

He looked down at his watch and replies that it's just past nine.

Sam's preoccupied look returned and the wheels in Dean's head start turning. "Hey, uh," He clicks his jaw and then looks back at Dean who is now seriously trying to figure out what is up with his weird behavior. "When did I fall asleep?"

"Well, I dozed off a couple hours ago but you were conked out when I came up last night." Dean replied flatly. "Why?"

Again, Sam can't remember suddenly dozing but accepts the fact that he did and looks at Cas who has shifted in his sleep, his left hand now peeking from out of the covers and resting on the side of his now turned head. He also takes into account that he appears a lot more stable then the night before.

"No reason. I just…" Sam looks behind him towards the door as if expecting someone to walk through and then looks back at Dean. "I just didn't remember…falling asleep is all."

"Yeah well we all need to knock out sometime Sammy. It's not a crime." Dean replied slowly.

"Yeah, no. I know." Sam massaged his eyes again, this time looking like he was trying to wake himself up and slowly got out of the chair. "Um, Cas looks like he's doing a little better."

"Yeah I checked him a couple hours ago." Dean said softly, a sense of relief in his tone.

Sam slowly got up and placed two fingers on the man's neck and found that his pulse was indeed much stronger than when he previously checked. "Okay well, you want me to go downstairs and make coffee?" He asked, standing up and cracking his back a bit.

"Sure. I could use a little caffeine." He slowly started to unwrap himself out of his own covers and Sam headed downstairs. As Dean placed his feet on the floor he looked back over at Cas who seemed to be doing _much_ better than before, thank, well…_whoever_. He still held slight bruises on his wrists but it had greatly reduced from just a few hours ago and Dean noticed that even the brandings had faded away, leaving them only as a memory.

As Sam prepares breakfast downstairs Bobby informs him that he'll be leaving to Devils Lake, North Dakota with Rufus and should be back by tomorrow. He says his goodbyes and heads out, leaving the two young hunters with their still sleeping angel.

* * *

><p>Cas did not wake for several hours and when he finally did it was already mid afternoon.<p>

Dean first asked him if he was feeling alright and he got the angels usual answer of "Fine". Not what he wanted to hear but a one word answer was better than no answer right now. When Dean finally got up the courage to ask him what happened he had to admit, he was surprised at the response he got.

"I don't remember." The look on his face told them that the angel was baffled, maybe even downright flabbergasted. Cas tried to recall the events that had led to what happened to him but realizes that he can't.

"What do you mean you don't remember Cas?" Dean asked gently, not wanting to alarm the man in anyway.

"I mean I don't remember." He said plainly. "I don't even remember, being there." He appeared to be deep in thought as he continued to stare at the floor and it caused him great worry. He remembered flying. He remembered the close presence of another angel. He remembered being attacked from behind and then…nothing.

It had all just…faded away.

Dean noticed and added that it was okay, trying to reassure him.

Sam and Dean look at each other and wonder how it's possible that he is unable to recall anything but accept that the angel is telling the truth and let it go, wondering if maybe it is good that he doesn't remember. The images alone of all his dead brothers and sisters may very well traumatize him and that was something he definitely didn't need reminding.

"Don't worry about it Cas." Dean assured. "It's already been taken care of. You don't need to worry about anything."

Cas stares straight at him and can't seem to read the hunter behind his usual firm veneer. He accepts the hunters answer however and suddenly picks up on a presence, his stare going blank.

Castiel senses that another angel was here though he can't tell who it is.

"Now _that_ has got to be the stupidest stunt I have ever seen you pull little brother."

The three of them look up and out of the study towards the living room where they see none other than their favorite archangel (or least favorite, depending on which Winchester you asked) sitting on the end of the couch, feet perched up on the coffee table and head propped on two fingers.

To say he was a surprise was putting it lightly, as Dean was the first to pass through the initial shock of their latest list of surprises. "Gabriel!"

**To Be Continued…**


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: **Here's a little more whumpage for those of you who wanted just a bit more and thought there just wasn't enough. I of course, had to agree. :P Can't really figure out why but I found myself doing a lot of side thoughts here in this chapter so, here it goes. Hope they amuse you. I sure amused myself. :) Scared myself a little too but I've decided to just bury the hatchet at the weird coincidence this chapter brought upon me with the number "6". Vampireluvr15 knows what I'm talking about. :/

**Written: **27 March

**Soundtrack: **Sleep by Poets of the Fall (For the dream scene I just had to use this song and I felt that bits and pieces were just absolutely perfect)

**Word Count: **6100+

**Chapter 6**

_Okay. Let's flashback to a few months ago when we were dealing with a freakin' apocalypse, uh, fighting the _Devil_ and having our asses saved by the Trickster of all people who, oh yeah, happened to also be a freakin' _angel_. And said angel was supposedly wasted by said Devil at the Elysian Fields hotel in which we were left with his parting gift. A rip-off version of Casa Erotica on DVD, telling us he was dead and how to shove Lucifer's ass back into Hell, so…begs the big question here._

…_When the HELL did the archangel get back again?_

"Hello boneheads." Gabriel cheerily hollered back as he quickly got up from his comfortable spot and jubilantly walked over to join them. "How's it goin'?" He grinned.

"Dude…what the hell." Dean, who was still the only one to pass through the initial shock of seeing the archangel/pagan god in disguise, couldn't get out much more than those few words. He looked over at Sam who merely looked back at him, his face still locked in an expression of fear and alarm. But both undoubtedly thought the same thing: are we seeing the same shit here?

"What? You think Dad would only bring back Castiel here and not _me_?" He chanted as he pulled on the lapels of his jacket. "I'm hurt."

Speaking of said angel, Castiel was so stunned to see the '_thought to be dead'_ archangel actually alive, that he couldn't even begin to form any thoughts, much less any sentences to actually say something to him. It was like his mind was disconnected from his body again, only this time without the numb feeling of dread. _Perhaps the dread would have been appropriate at this point though. Considering their history of course._

"Gabriel? When did you," Sam gaped, getting up from his chair in front of the desk; the archangel waving his hands as if he were something impressive. That or he wanted a hug (though that was doubtful). "We thought you were dead."

"Well I was dipshits. No thanks to you two." He said seriously, placing his hands on his hips. But not even a second later he grinned widely and got back to his teasing. "Yes okay. Lucifer managed to gank my ass but, as you can see I guess dear ol' Dad decided that the funny angel was still needed around here. What, did you two nitwits think that Castiel here was so special that our Pops would only bring _him_ back?" He scoffed. "Pa…lease. I think not." And with that he jokingly pointed his nose in the air, having fun with tormenting the brothers with his return. _They always were his favorite, uh hum, victims to mess around with. His own personal guilty pleasure, all wrapped in a big red bow for his own amusement._

"_Brought his ass back twice for your info."_ Dean couldn't help but think.

Gabriel looked at the hunter with an arched eyebrow, as if he had heard the comment blazing through his head even though that wasn't possible. Not with the sigils carved in his ribs, an unforeseen absence of access in which Gabriel quickly noted. _Hm, thoughts are private I see. That's interesting._

"No but seriously." Gabriel stiffened his posture and looks straight at Castiel, who has yet to move from his spot against the wall or remove his gaze from him. "How are you doing Cas?" The look on his face was serious, almost the demeanor they would expect from an angel of his rank.

"I'm fine." Cas managed to say after a moment, his words trailed and draining.

Gabriel didn't look convinced but brushed it off anyways as one of Castiel's socially awkward quirks. _Kid had way too many of those._

"Good. Because if you ever pull a stupid stunt like that again I will pluck your feathers off one by one and you know that that won't take very long for an angel like me to do." Gabriel didn't even seem to be teasing, the superior and big brother in him quickly coming out. Sam and Dean half expected a lecture out of him, though the archangel really didn't seem the type for lectures. Just side splitting chaos. "What the hell were you thinking? Raphael is after your head and just throw yourself at him?" He scolded.

_Well there _is_ a first time for everything._

"Raphael. _He's_ behind this?" Dean asked not so surprisingly; he had already figured as much but still hoped that he would be wrong. _So much for wishful thinking_.

"Oh. You mean you didn't know?" He chimed again. "I figured it'd be obvious. And Castiel here would have told you." Gabriel waved his hand towards the angel but he simply stood there, quiet and appearing almost unfocused.

By the time Castiel snapped out of his half second trance Gabriel noticed something off about the man. The look Cas gave to him had Gabriel reconsidering his idea. Castiel's expression didn't hold anything familiar but as a matter of fact, it held uncertainty and confusion. Almost like he was lost. Gabriel saw it written all over his little brothers face. Castiel didn't have a clue what the archangel was talking about and Gabriel noticed it clear as day.

"Or not." He clucked his tongue.

"Cas doesn't remember anything." Sam stepped in, giving the archangel a look as if telling him that he shouldn't either.

_Huh, wiped clean I see._

Gabriel catches on and sees the concerned look on Cas' face, accepting that maybe the hunter had a point and that his little brother really didn't need to be brought back down that not so lovely road of memory lane.

If the kid had it all erased then who was he to remind him? Sorry, but as the big brother he sure as heck wasn't going to break the bad news. Castiel was already dealing with a civil war and that enough should have had his blood pressure through the freakin' skies and highest heavens. Nah, he'd keep that little piece of information a secret, for his benefit and the sake of his sanity. _No need in going to poke at the bear._

"Right." His tone was so unreadable that not even Cas could interpret it but could tell that Gabriel was definitely not sharing something. Gabriel quickly cut him off before he could even ask. "Anyways…now that you know that Raphael is behind all the muck, I figured you should at least know that Raph's up to something big. Huge. _Monumental_."

"The Apocalypse, we know." Dean cut off, not really amused at his little show.

"Don't interrupt me. I'm getting to the good part." Gabriel whined but soon brought out his serious side again. "It's not the apocalypse. Not just that anyway."

"Then what is it?" Cas asked, not really getting his form of raising the excitement either before he dropped the bomb.

"Don't know yet. You boys are gonna need to figure that out, and the sooner the better. Before Raphael brings Doomsday back." _Okay since when did I start to care about this crap?_

"Since when did you start to care about this crap?" Dean retorted not even a second later, his memories of the _Trickster_ reminding him that the guy usually looked out for number one. So to see that he even concerned himself with what was going on now that they were post apocalypse was to say, a surprise. _Much like his resurrection. Seriously God, _him_?_

Gabriel's eyes nearly bulged at Dean's words as he tried not to show that he had actually been spooked by the man. _Woah! …That was freaky._ "I don't. I'm just letting you know what I've been hearing."

"And how exactly _have_ you been hearing all of this?" Dean asked while he got up from his own chair.

"_Hellooooo. Gabriel_, the _Messenger_." He said in his most playfully irritating 'ain't that freakin' obvious tone, pointing two thumbs towards himself. _I swear, how the heck did Lucifer get fooled by this moron._ "I'm just telling you what I've heard okay. I don't exactly get details."

"Well that was helpful." Dean snapped.

"Dean." Sam chided.

"What? He didn't tell us shit." He shot back. What the archangel was enlightening to them wasn't really news at all to Dean. It wasn't something that he didn't already suspect or thought to know. The only other burning question in his mind was something he sure Gabriel couldn't answer and Dean left it be for later on for him to pick apart at.

Gabriel simply gave him an unyielding look and another raised eyebrow and Dean found himself almost wanting to hide behind his insanely large little brother. The archangel was a midget in size compared to them but still, he knew better than to piss him off. He _really_ didn't want a repeat of his 'not so fun times' in TV Land. _Sarcasm on 'fun times'_.

"What do you think it could be?" Sam asked, somewhat concerned.

"I don't have a clue." Gabriel smiled, his usual grin coming to light but quickly disappearing again. "Whatever it is it's bigger than the apocalypse but that's only part of it. It's not the plan he's been collecting Grace for."

There was a moment of tense, knife splitting silence before anyone spoke, the words that the archangel had just mouthed not expected to be said. His tone hadn't even been that of surprise. It was simple, flat, as if stuff like this happened everyday in his world.

It was nothing compared to the faces the hunters and their angel now shared.

"Collecting?" Dean had not seen that one coming and quickly took back the idea that the angel's visit was pointless.

"Wait, I thought he was _killing_ angels by ripping out their Grace. Not collecting it." Sam added, unable to believe what he had just heard either.

"Well it's not exactly a chocolate meringue pie but…Grace is pure energy and power. It's worth something." Gabriel said, as if the idea of explaining that fact wasn't really necessary so he didn't bother wasting time and continued. "Especially to a dickwad like Raphael. I mean we are in the middle of a _civil war_ here."

"Why would he be collecting Grace?" Cas found his brothers reply unsettling and wondered what could possibly be the reason for it. He was more afraid at imagining _how_ Raphael was even getting his hands on it and Gabriel saw right through him.

The archangel figured he should spare his sibling the distress as he simply walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, his humorless expression returning to his face. The moment of silence was stifling but Gabriel was in no mood for teasing at this point in the game. Castiel had been through enough and he figured the man could use a break. "Take care of yourself Castiel. And remember what I told you."

And with that he disappeared in a rush of wind and a flutter of beating wings.

A moment of silence washed over the three remaining men and Dean simply let out a sigh.

"Why the hell do you angels always do that?" He asked, looking over at Cas who seemed more focused on his inner trepidations, and his concern for them bled right through onto the pain lines of his face. The brothers could already tell that he was trying desperately to remember what had happened, why Gabriel said what he had said but was still getting nothing as the force of trying was quickly giving him a headache. It was driving him almost to the point of insanity.

Dean caught this on rather quickly.

Castiel's thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his shoulder and he quickly snapped up to see Dean now standing in front of him, his expression a mix of resolve and concern. Even though no words were said he could tell that Dean was asking him to let it go and he figured that he should listen to the hunter and leave the matter for another day.

The world wasn't coming to an end anymore. Not _yet_ anyway.

* * *

><p>After a <em>somewhat<em> peaceful afternoon the brothers decide to turn in early, dead tired from all the excitement of the last few days. They suggest that Cas do the same, the angel now looking a little flushed and ashen. Although he is only slightly pale, nothing compared to what he was before Dean insists that he get some rest and the angel can't help but agree.

His thoughts were racing, his mind feeling blank yet filled with questions that he tried frantically to answer. The war in Heaven was enough to deal with already and now he had other concerns to plague him. Besides the fact that Gabriel informed them of Raphael's plans, (though not the result of them) he tried desperately not to think about how and why and in the end found himself physically shaking from the anxiety.

He always calmed himself whenever Sam or Dean walked into the room, noticing the angel still sitting in one of the chairs of Bobby's study and thinking constantly to himself. Not a single word had been spoken since then.

Dean was finally the one to take him out of it and informed him that they had set up a bedroom for him upstairs. Angels didn't require sleep but Castiel felt so physically and mentally exhausted that he couldn't resist the temptation of simply falling into a bed and just laying there.

After borrowing some clothes from Dean, which turned out to be a somewhat faded navy blue band t-shirt and red and white plaid pajama pants that just about fit his small frame, the three of them called it a night.

Sam and Dean fell asleep rather quickly but Castiel remained in the guest bedroom next to them, staring up at the ceiling, his thoughts still inundated in trying to figure out why he couldn't remember anything that had happened.

He remembered feeling alone and empty. Then the brothers finding him and pulling him out of his prison.

He could recall Dean's words. Telling him that he was okay. And Sam's prayers for his wellbeing. He finds some comfort in them and grasps on as if afraid that he may lose them.

He can even recall Dean praying as well but isn't sure if that is indeed what he had heard, knowing that the hunter does not believe in such practices. He remembers warmth but then also remembers cold and it's then that he recalls a sudden sensation gripping at his chest, relieving some of the numbness and weight that had settled there. But still, he can remember nothing else of how it all started.

He finds himself subconsciously reaching his hand to his chest, the feel of his Grace pulsing under his fingertips and smoothing out the wreckage in his brain. He digs deeper for any hope of an answer, but eventually finds that he is too tired from it all for tonight and finally lets himself close his eyes.

He falls asleep almost instantly, the dark void a quick and inviting form of company.

* * *

><p><em>He is returned back into the darkness, the empty space around him intense and stifling. The surrounding air feels heavy and weighed down, the lack of oxygen in his lungs causing him to feel strained and weak. Castiel can feel the heart in his chest beating loud and hard, causing an uncomfortable pressure within him and adding on to its already tight strain.<em>

_He stares down. The ground beneath his naked feet is cold and wet._

_He turns his head to look around him but finds that he is alone. It brings him back to memories still fresh, causing a painful shiver to travel up and down his spine as he finds himself suddenly feeling vulnerable and exposed._

_He looks back down, as the sound of a drop in the water has him gazing downwards. As if that single echo it makes holds the answer to all his questions. The ripple it forms travels towards him as he hears another drop and then another, and more soon follow them. They fall down on him like tears as he looks up, soon beating down on him like a heavy rainfall._

_His skin and clothes are soaked in a matter of seconds, causing the fabric to stick to his body and drenching him fully, plastering his hair to his forehead._

_Castiel simply returns his gaze to the floor as the rain continues to fall, the ghostly manifestations of his dead brethren slowly start to appear in its reflection. He stands perfectly still but hesitantly raises his head, only to be confronted by his mounting fear and panic at the sight before him._

_More and more begin to come out around him. Slowly at first but then larger in number, surrounding him at every side. Castiel's heart is now racing as he takes in the familiar faces of them all, including those who died at his hand, burning into his mind as they hang lifeless from above._

_An aching burn takes over and clenches him, as a surge of terror starts to swell through his very Grace. He finds his body curling in on itself, the mounting pressure in his chest causing him agonizing pain as he slowly drops to his knees. His own tears start to fall to the ground below him as the voices of his dead brothers and sisters begin to taunt him, curse him, plague him with their spiteful words of shame, regret and most harmful…humiliation._

_Castiel screams, begs for them to stop, his own sobs now pleading them for forgiveness as one hand squeezes at his chest, the other digging its nails into the still drowning ground._

"_Please. Brothers I implore. Please, stop!"_

_The rain pours down harder, continuing to soak him through and seep into his now shivering and goose-pimpled skin. He feels frozen, numb, damaged, the emotions running through his brain paralyzing him to his core._

_Castiel feels shameful. _

_Disgraceful. _

_The very memories of so many of his own brethren having died at the end of his sword and at the cost of his war, causing him to feel disgusted of himself. The reality is excruciating and raw and he prays desperately for it all to cease._

_He suddenly feels a tightening grip around his throat, the force lifting him up to his knees and then completely upright onto his feet._

_Castiel has no room inside his mind to panic as this unknown entity lifts him up further, taking him completely off the ground and into the air alongside his dead. Castiel simply allows himself to go with it, the urge to fight quickly fading as his unrelenting sorrow drowns him._

_The pressure around his neck is soon joined by another against his chest, as he feels a razor sharp pain surge throughout his entire body and bleed into his very Grace. It feels like someone is digging, clawing into his very being and tearing him to pieces from the inside out. Doing so in ways he could never imagine, never thought were even possible. The pain is almost unbearable and hard to ignore but Castiel simply feels his mind numbing from his own personal turmoil and does nothing to fight against it, his arms remaining unmoved on his sides and half lidded eyes staring to the dark heavens above him._

_It's then that he hears his name being called, the familiarity of that sound surging into his mind as the voice calls out to him. Castiel refuses to respond to it, his body feeling heavier and heavier, trying to ignore the numbing pain flowing from his chest, his eyes now drooping closed against the still falling rain._

_He hears his name called out again; this time more desperate, and he snaps his eyes open as the pain is soon replaced by a sweltering and unnatural heat. _

_He grips at the hand around his throat and looks down at the faceless being holding him up, the light from his chest growing brighter and stronger._

_Castiel screams as he feels the last of his Grace leaving his body, the pain of the extraction suddenly coming at him full force and the painful vibrations against his throat drowning out his thoughts._

_The light grows brighter as it flees his body entirely, leaving a cold dead space inside him, only to be forgotten by the whispered taunts of his brethren and the painful screams coming from himself._

_It feels so much like an end, and Castiel realizes…he feels nothing at all. _

_If so, he has but one request, granted, he may never get another chance at it. He gently lets the darkness take hold of him and whispers one final plea, the hope that it will be heard taking over all others that currently embrace him._

"…_Father forgive me, for what I have done and for what I have failed to do…"_

…

Castiel suddenly wakes at the sound of his own screams filling the air and a pair of calloused hands on each side of his face. They belong to the one who has been calling out his name, a look of concern staring straight at him through frightened yet familiar, beautiful hazel-green eyes.

"Cas!"

He quickly snapped his eyes wide open, the images of the dream quickly fading away as his hands clutch on the person's forearms in front of him, trying desperately to focus. He swallows hard against the constriction in his throat as he makes several desperate attempts of breathing air into his aching lungs. The eyes have yet to remove their gaze and it takes him only a moment to realize that the familiar orbs staring down at him are that of Dean.

"Cas. You with me?"

Castiel tightly shuts his eyes, a stinging pain creeping across his brow and wetness leaking from the corners of his lids, his breathing still sharp and heavy.

"Hey." Dean said a bit more forcefully.

He opens them again and the look on Dean has Cas growing even more scared, the hunters hands still fused to the sides of his face.

Another sound distracts him as he hears Sam at the doorway, a similar look of distress on his own face. "Is he okay?"

Dean's expression grows stern and he steals a glance back towards him. "Get the ice Sammy."

'_Ice?'_

Sam doesn't even stay a second as the look on Dean's face tells him to hurry and Castiel can already hear him heading downstairs at fast pace. The images continue to flood into his mind and his fear begins to consume him again, his body going extremely tense as he recalls the scenes of torture and suffering. It causes his heart to beat erratically, the sensation so strong that it is quickly physically tiring him.

He squeezes his eyes shut again and whimpers softly. Tears soon follow, the faces of his dead siblings continually stick out at him as his mental wall starts to break.

Dean must notice his deeply private distress because he can feel the hunters thumbs massaging at his temples, bringing him slowly into a state of clarity.

"Take it easy Cas." Dean whispered soothingly. "It's okay man. No one's gonna hurt you. No one's gonna hurt you, I'm right here."

Dean continues with his ministrations and Castiel soon feels the tears slowing down, his breathing becoming less labored and the tightening in his chest winding down. His tight grip on the man's arms loosens but he dares not let him go. As he opens his eyes he still can't get past the look on Dean's face, the hunter putting up his usual façade. But he has known Dean long enough to know what he hides underneath it. He still can't help it however that it makes him feel safer.

Dean gently moves one hand down to his cheek, using his thumb to wipe away his tears.

"It's gonna be okay Cas." He whispered. Even though the hunter didn't know that for sure he insisted on believing it, knowing that whatever despair was plaguing the angel right now was obviously something he was not adept to deal with. If he had to help him through it then he would, no questions asked.

Castiel looks up at him through half lidded eyes and can't tell if tears are welling in his eyes as well at the sight of his own.

Sam is back soon enough and he sees the man carrying several items with him. A bowl of water filled near to the brim with floating ice cubes and a washcloth are placed on the nightstand along with a tall bottle of liquid and another small bottle of white caplets.

"Here." Sam hands something to Dean, a thin bit of plastic that is completely foreign to him.

"Thanks." Dean replies to him and coaxes it under Cas' tongue.

The angel doesn't know what it is but doesn't protest as Dean continues massaging his right temple while his other hand rests back on his cheek. Sam on the other hand is opening a bottle of water and dropping two pills into his hand, quickly handing both to Dean.

Dean's mind is now running on sick Sammy mode and he quickly gets to work.

Castiel can feel his own mind growing wearier and knows that it is wanting him to fall back to sleep, if his eyes aren't already making any indication.

"Alright Cas, you gotta take these." Dean tells him as a minute later the thermometer is removed from his lips and handed over to Sam. The older hunter places a gentle hand on the back of his neck and hoists him up slightly, a wince escaping his lips, forcing Castiel to swallow the medicine and helping him down the water. Castiel does so gingerly but can't understand Dean's reaction to touching his skin.

'_Why am I sweating?'_

Dean carefully places him back down on the pillow and puts the remnants of the water bottle on the table. He looks over at Sam who whispers something to him but Castiel can barely hear, his ears feeling like they are being muted by the mounting pressure in his head.

What he hears next is the older hunter curse, the look of worry masking a look of panic.

His body just feels so incredibly tired.

'_What's wrong with me?'_

He doesn't get to ask as the washcloth is carefully folded and placed over his brow, the icy sensation immediately bringing out a cringe and then a soft groan, his weak grip back on Dean's forearms. He tightly shuts his eyes and Dean whispers to him softly, telling him to relax. An involuntary shutter ripples through his body and he can't understand the sudden chill creeping up his spine. He wants to remove the compress from his forehead but Dean holds it firmly in place with both hands to the side of his head, refusing to let the angel have his way.

"No." He whimpers softly.

"It's okay Castiel. We're just trying to help." Sam tried to calm the angel who still looked like he didn't understand what they were doing or what was happening to him. He then whispers over to Dean, who has yet to take his eyes off the man. "Dean we might need to get him into a bath."

"I know, I know." Dean replies calmly but Castiel can still hear what he hides in his tone and begins to get scared again. Dean however continues to keep the icy compress on him and has moved one hand over his head to keep it in place while the other travels to the side of his neck.

Castiel can literally hear his heart pounding in his ears and feel it aching in his chest and suspects that Dean may feel it too, a frown quickly appearing on his face. He carefully removes the washcloth from its resting place and begins to massage it down his neck, the tense muscles there causing an even bigger knot in his throat that he didn't have before.

The weariness is growing stronger, his hands now falling onto the blankets that cover him as his body starts to recede from its previous adrenaline rush. His body just wants to go back to sleep but Castiel is afraid to go back. Afraid of the dreams. Afraid of what he may see.

Dean soon wets the washcloth again and after wringing it out places it back over Castiel's forehead. It's at that moment that Castiel's foggy mind begins to clear and it's then he realizes the heat engulfing him. He was never even aware of it but Castiel can now feel the fever radiating from his skin and the torturous flames that his body has produced is unsettling.

'_Why is this happening to me?'_

He continues to protest at this sensation of burning heat and freezing cold but Dean is stronger and continues to clasp his hands on the side of the angels head as the washcloth does its job of trying to cool him down.

"Dean we should get him to the hospital. We can't risk it going over what it is now."

'_I don't want to go anywhere.'_

"It's a 105 Sam."

"Yeah and at a 106 his brain is gonna start to fry. We need to get him help."

'_What are you saying? Help for what? Why is this happening to me?'_

Castiel can hear the tension in Sam's voice and the frustration in Dean's but listens as the older hunter insists that they can take care of it themselves and that no further assistance is necessary.

"_Am I dying?"_

"No Cas." Dean said somewhat firmly, his frustration getting to him at the angels words but quickly buries it and continued calmly. "You're gonna be okay. Just try to relax alright." Dean's voice tries to reassure him as the excess water starts to drip down his scalp and he feels cold, wet fingers start to run through his sweat soaked hair.

'_Did I say something?'_

Sam looks at Dean questioningly, not hearing Castiel's final thought to his brother and the older hunter merely looks back at him. "Sam get the bath ready just in case."

"Okay." After another moment Sam quietly nods and the younger hunter quickly leaves the room.

Castiel can still feel the panic swirling in his chest but the soothing sensations against his scalp have him slowly forgetting it and he finds himself relaxing into the touch, appreciative of the relief it brings. Dean must notice it too because he comes to rest the hand that was over his head back to the side of his neck and Cas can hear him give out a small sigh of relief. His panting has now reduced to meager wheezes but even that goes away soon enough and he can feel his breaths coming in slower and easier.

Dean continues his ministrations with the washcloth and soon enough Castiel can feel the flames receding a bit. The nightmare that brought upon this unfortunate ailment have been sent back and Castiel is extremely grateful for it. For his salvation. For his savior.

Sam returns just a few minutes later.

Dean remains sitting on the edge of the bed and wrings out the washcloth again, placing it back on the angels forehead and resting a hand on the ill man's shoulder.

"How is he?" Sam walks up to them and sees that Castiel is more calm, his brow no longer knitted in pain and his breathing less erratic.

"Pills are already kicking in." He sighed, the look on his face being a mix of worry but also of relief to back it up. "Fever's just under 105." Dean whispered as he turned his attention back to Castiel.

Sam knows that Dean is uneasy, considering that the angel (even one who is cut off) shouldn't even be going through this and it worries him. Dean has always had the perception that Castiel was invincible, his memory always going back to the day they first met and the moment he drove Ruby's knife straight into his chest. Without even a flinch he pulled it out like it was nothing and didn't even much as leave a scratch on him. Not even the bullets he put into him that night did a damn thing and now it seemed that the simplest things could inflict damage on the angel.

It just didn't seem right to him.

"Do you still need any help?" Sam asked, breaking Dean out of his thoughts.

Castiel notices the hesitation in response as his half lidded eyes start to droop.

"No Sammy, I think I've got it from here." Dean looked back at him and Sam nods back, realizing that the worst of it is over.

Even though the two of them always consider the what if's Sam gives him a look as if to tell him that he knows where he'll be if he needs him and that the bath will still be there too should anything happen. Dean looks back in understanding and Sam simply smirks to himself as Dean's attention is back on the angel. He'd never say it out loud but Dean always was good at playing the role of mom, dad, brother and caretaker, no matter what the situation. He was simply a natural but never had the guts to admit it simply because of his superiority complex. This definitely fell next to his folder of 'chick flick' moments, even though Sam never saw it that way. To him it was a gift not many people were able to provide and Dean had been blessed with it.

He soon leaves back to their room and after a few minutes Dean carefully smoothes out the tangled covers, bringing them up from Castiel's waist to his shoulders until they cover his entire trembling frame. The warmth they bring is soothing and comfortable, and Castiel soon finds himself losing the battle of sleep. Dean must see it too and feels his own tense muscles giving into respite as he watches the angel slip into slumber.

"It's okay Cas. I'm not going anywhere." He whispered softly, hoping to assure the angel that he wouldn't leave his side.

Castiel makes no indication of hearing him but Dean already knows that he needn't worry. His breathing is already slow and even and the pain lines on his face have been replaced with peace and tranquility.

He silently prays for the angel to not be brought back to whatever Hell befell him.

Castiel is still fearful of returning to that place, that Hell, but somehow, he knows that the nightmares won't be coming back.

* * *

><p>The hunter stays with him until morning, the fever finally dissipating as dawn peaked over the horizon. After removing the now dry washcloth and placing a careful hand over his forehead Dean is relieved to feel that the angels temperature is now almost back to normal. Castiel shifts a bit at the touch and slowly crawls into wakefulness, slightly opening his eyes as Dean removes his hand.<p>

"Hey Cas." He whispered.

It took a second for the angel to get his throat to work but managed to crack a small grin and a soft whisper. "Dean."

The angel never doubted that his friend would leave him alone and was glad to see that when he woke that he was still there. His body is exhausted from the draining fever and Dean sees it clearly. He places a gentle hand on his shoulder and gently smiles in reassurance.

"Go back to sleep Cas. You still look like you could use it."

Castiel doesn't even try to fight it and with a gentle sigh lets his eyes slide back closed, returning to the peaceful void. Dean remains with him a few minutes more and he's finally able to peel himself away without worry. Cas shifts a bit in his sleep as he gets up, his head slightly turning and his body soon rolling onto its side toward him. Dean can only watch as the angels obliviousness has a smile creeping on his lips and can't help but wonder what the man is dreaming about now. He lets the idea go and steals one last glance at him before he heads back to his room where Sam is still sleeping and collapses onto his own bed, not even bothering to straighten out the covers or wrap himself in them.

Dean had to admit, it was one of the longest nights of his life, besides the one before it and one he hoped he'd never have to repeat.

**To Be Continued…**


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: **So last chapter was told mostly in Cas' point of view and I wanted to take the same approach here except this time in Dean's. As for this chapter, the words really just flowed for me, even though the scenes may appear random each time I felt like I just had to speed the story along. So to say that writing this in just a few hours is something I gotta say I'm proud of. Usually it takes much longer and then there's the editing and proofreading but I didn't seem to have that problem here. Funny how ideas seem to flow out of me when I have a migraine. They're annoying but maybe I should get them more often. :P

**Written: **10 April

**Soundtrack: **Uprising by Muse

**Word Count: **5300

**Chapter 7**

Dean could literally count how many hours of sleep he had every night in the past few days with just the fingers on his two hands. Even now, laying lazily on his stomach and his younger brother snoring peacefully in his own bed beside him, Dean's thoughts hadn't changed since the second he had been woken by the angels screams.

The next few hours that followed afterwards was something Dean never thought he'd ever find himself in. Caring for a sick and disoriented angel, who had just come out of a coma and a hellish nightmare to boot. It was just like throwing salt into the wounds, adding insult to injury, in all the literal sense of the word.

Another thing that was bothering him was Gabriel's visit.

The archangel had mentioned something about what was behind Raphael's plan, the collection of all the angels Grace's being just a small point. The other thing was what Gabriel had failed to mention and that Dean had immediately picked up on in his empty stare. Gabriel knew something, what that was he didn't know but for whatever reason wasn't sharing it with him, Sam or Castiel for that matter. But especially with Cas.

Dean knew that look. He had seen it in the mirror a million times over. Gabriel was hiding something from the younger angel, something he believed would be for his benefit in the long run. Something he was protecting him from. After what he had witnessed in the warehouse, Dean couldn't help but be somewhat grateful for the archangel's discreetness. If not a little respectful of it. Dean himself was having trouble removing the images from his own mind. He could only imagine how Castiel would react, Heaven forbid he remembered.

And now, Dean was worried that he might have. The man had literally been delirious and terrified when the hunter tried to snap him out of his nightmare. Unfocused and distracted from whatever he had seen, Dean felt that he had to pull him out of his personal turmoil and bring him back to where he was safe.

He had never seen the angel shed tears before, not once. He probably didn't even realize what was going on around him, or _to_ him for that matter.

It was unexplainable, and shocking to say the least. If anyone had ever asked him about angels having nightmares and getting sick and upset from them, he would have thought it was outrageous. From what he had learned angels weren't capable of such things. Now, not so much. And even though there is always a first for everything, Dean never thought he would be witness to something like that.

His nightmares of Hell were true in every sense of the word, but he could deal with them. Simply because that is who Dean Winchester was and as stubborn as he could be, sometimes the emotions were too much to stomach and he would have to turn to someone for help. The majority of the time that would be Sam. He was always there to drop everything and listen, for hours on end if he had to. Dean knew where his supports were and was grateful for them.

However, seeing an angel of the Lord suffer from just one and have it physically effect him like that, Dean didn't know where to turn to in that situation. This sort of thing should have been impossible but remembering that the angel was now cut off from the Host, maybe the rules had changed. He had been noticing it for the past couple of months but never dared to ask.

Castiel was becoming more human everyday that passed and Dean saw it clear as a bell. He figured that it was hard, knowing that your livelihood was being threatened and you were witness to it every moment of every day. Shit like that couldn't be easy on the angel, or on any angel for that matter. He was also dealing with a war and that was taking more out of him than usual, something he couldn't afford to do but accepted anyway. Just to avert the possibility of the apocalypse returning, he was willing to lose it all just to protect the livelihood of his charge and that of his loved ones.

Dean sighed. After everything the angel had sacrificed, after all the crap he had deliberately put himself in for the sake of the hunter, even after being killed for it, _twice_, he was still willing to step over those boundaries and help him. Even if he didn't ask for it he was there, giving it his all and it was at that moment that Dean realized that Castiel really was making an effort and had chosen to give it all up for _him_. Because he believed in him and his causes. His justice. His worth. Dean was appreciative of the act, though he also felt a pang of guilt, knowing that it was costing the angel so much and the hunter pretty much nothing. That's what usually happened when you were around the infamous Winchester clan.

He didn't know how to decipher everything going through his head right now. He figured the things he would do for the angel were small in comparison to what Castiel would help with in return and Dean swore that he would change that. Even though those small acts of kindness meant huge things to the angel, Dean knew it was never enough on his part. He wanted to be a bigger contributor to the cause. To help his friend in any way he could.

Helping him out of a nightmare was just one little way he could. The next thing he wanted was to find out what his dick brother was up to, besides the obvious but he figured he would definitely need some help in that department. The only source he could think of was Gabriel and he wasn't talking. Again, he could tell that the archangel knew something but was not willing to share and Dean knew that he would have to find a way to get the information out of him. _Trick the Trickster_, he thought. Yeah, no problem there.

Dean let another sigh pass through his lips before he flipped over onto his back to stare at the ceiling. Just when he thought that the apocalypse was the biggest thing to ever distract his mind, the wellbeing for the angel was quickly surpassing that. Since when the hell did things seem so much easier when the world was coming to an end? Wasn't that some shit. Dean couldn't help it. But then again, he couldn't seem to take the memories from the last couple of years out of his dreams either. They were always there. Always bringing him back. Always hiding in the shadows. He knew that. Not that he would ever say it.

Dean was simply just a man but if he and his brother were able to keep destiny from playing, from keeping it to pass, _freakin' __**destiny**__ for God's sake_, he figured that aiding Castiel in his war any which way he could should be cake in comparison. He may just be a man, but he had screwed destiny once before and if that said anything to anyone, to Dean it held so much more meaning and promise than anything he had ever experienced before. Man, to say he had a full plate was _such_ an understatement right now. Oh well, it's not like that was anything new. At least he was willing to put up with it this time. He was probably even painting a bull's-eye on his back with the idea. Again, that was really nothing new. Just a day in the life.

Dean just decided to let it go for now and closed his eyes. He was dead tired but his brain was running at full throttle and wouldn't let him push down on the brake. It wanted to keep him awake. Then again, Dean Winchester always was a stubborn man and in the end managed to shut it off with just a shot of Jack Daniels, a bottle always conveniently available in the nightstand next to his bed. _Use in case of emergencies._

After just a few minutes of the alcohol running through his system, he was well on his way to sleep with a sloppy grin on his face.

That was how Sam had found him when he woke up just a couple of hours later.

* * *

><p>When Dean had finally woken up around noon, with only just a slight buzz in his brain he went over to check up on Castiel and found that he was already gone, the only evidence that he was even there was the pajamas folded neatly in the center of the already perfectly made bed. Dean couldn't help but smirk at the thought that the man may have been a little OCD, not that it would surprise him if he was.<p>

He quickly headed downstairs where Sam was already packing his belongings into his duffel, claiming that he had found a job for them up in Michigan.

Dean really didn't want to go this early in the day but knew that his brother was already swarming to get the show on the road and complied. After drinking a somewhat flat cup of lukewarm coffee he quickly gathered his own things and headed out to their next hunt.

Before popping in a tape to listen to music Dean caught a few words off the radio and began to listen intently. Every station seemed to have the same news on its airways and it only had the brothers paying even closer attention to the newscast.

"Massive slaughters throughout the globe─"

"Experts saying that they may be cult or satanic in nature─"

"Baffled at the sadistic act─"

"Possibly signaling the end of days─"

Click. Dean didn't want to hear it and quickly replaced the chatter with a little Led Zepplin to drown out the noise.

"End of days huh?" Dean mocked and scoffed. "That time has _come_ and _gone_."

"Yeah," Sam added. "But they don't know that."

"Whatever. I'm just glad that shit is over."

"And if Raphael manages to get it back on the rails and to the station?"

"Not if I can help it. The guy may be a dick with wings but even he's gonna have to put up with me before I let him do that again."

Sam just gives him a placid look and goes back to reading his notes for their latest case.

Dean just lets himself concentrate on the road when he receives a text from Bobby, the simple message containing but a single two digit number.

_29_.

Dean groans and bends his head backwards towards the roof of the car before he looks back down and closes the phone, quickly shoving it back into his pocket.

He knows what the number signifies and lowers his head in disappointment with a slight shake.

"What's wrong?" Sam asks as he notices the now exasperated look on his brothers face.

Dean simply keeps his eyes on the road in front of him and explains, skipping much of the details.

* * *

><p>The next time they see Castiel the angel is looking for a moment of respite and finds it at Bobby's house. The recent battle in Heaven against Raphael and his followers was brutal and to say that the archangel kicked his little brother's ass to next week was something the angel was not ashamed to admit.<p>

One thing Dean notices besides the tired look in his eyes is that the man appears to be much healthier.

His skin color is back to normal and his eyes are back to their vibrant blue hue, now absent of their glassiness from before. He also appears to have put on a little bit of weight, his boney frame no longer entirely evident through his skin or causing his clothes to sag. All in all, Cas appeared to be much better from his ordeal back in Blue Ridge, besides the obvious weariness from his recent run in with the archangel and his army of dipshits.

"Hey Cas." Dean greeted the moment the angel popped in. "How you feelin'?"

Tired was obvious but he need not mention that to his friend. "Good." His reply is simple but accurate. He _does_ feel stronger, better than he has in a while as a matter of fact. He's not sure why but he is certainly not going to question or complain. "I apologize for my leaving before. I never thanked you and Sam for─"

"Don't mention it." Dean quickly cut in. _In Dean Winchester terms: I'm just glad you're okay but let's not turn this into a chick flick moment._

Castiel smiled knowing that Dean was never comfortable with such occurrences but the two of them knew each other long enough to understand what the other really meant. Words weren't necessary at this point.

Sam just chuckled to himself, knowing that his older brother never liked being put on the spot, ever. Even if it was for praise.

The two of them ask about the progress of the war in Heaven and Cas explains that there have been battles won but even more that have been lost.

"I'm not ashamed to say that my big brother has kicked my ass to next week on a number of occasions."

Dean couldn't help but note that the angel almost sounded sarcastic, and wondered if he was trying to find light in the situation that just seemed to drag on. If so, he wasn't doing such a great job of it but the hunter simply let him have his moments and figured that it was the angels way of dealing.

"So, how about everything else besides the war upstairs? Are you okay?" Dean asked, staring straight into his eyes with a look of concern masked with a look of gentle, sympathetic empathy.

Who knew the hunter could pull such a look off, Castiel noted.

At first Castiel just looked at him as if to ask what he meant but there was no fooling his charge. He knew to what he was referring to and simply replied that he had not given it much thought as of late, considering that the war was taking up much of his time and his own personal concerns were to be left to figure out later.

Dean responded with a look as if to tell him that he was full of it, but then again, the man was dealing with something the two of them could never understand and let it stand at that.

"So, you're okay?" Dean asked, that small tinge of concern still bleeding through his words, no matter how hard he tried to mask it.

Castiel simply nodded his head. To be honest, he had not gone back to that moment and felt it best to simply let it pass, the memories of that time refusing to resurface. He had even stopped trying to remember his actions during that time of lost memory and simply gave up on trying to figure it out. Perhaps it was best. He was damn well curious but maybe there was a reason he didn't need to go back there and decided it best to just let go.

"Hey Feathers."

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of heavy boots and the third member of the Winchester clan coming into the room. Bobby entered into the study with three beers in his hand, quickly tossing two to the boys and then walking over to the angel.

"Well since you're here, might as well have one too." He hands it to him and he takes it almost hesitantly.

He remembers the first time he drank an entire liquor store and miraculously came out with just a hangover. God only knew if his body was just as tolerable to alcohol now that his connections to the Host were cut off.

Bobby quickly ignores the look on the angels face and goes back to get another for himself.

With the four of them now doing research on the boys latest run in with the supernatural and sipping beer to pass the time, Castiel couldn't help but think that his most solitary times were always in some way tied to them. Whenever he needed a moment of rest or simply to take his mind off things that plagued him it always came back to here. The Winchester brothers and their surrogate father Bobby Singer. How Castiel wanted so desperately to have that again with his own family but in order to do that, he had to first win this war and hopefully bring his brethren back to the way things were before chaos fell upon them.

This was what he imagined could be possible for them. A simple gathering of family and friends, minus the alcohol, maybe, and simply enjoying the company of others. It was a wishful thought, he knew, but one he still thought was possible.

If only the angel knew how much his charge hoped the same for him.

He simply went back to concentrating on their work as he handed the angel his fourth beer, still impressed on how well his body tolerated the stuff. Man what he would give for that sort of ability.

"It's not exactly a talent Dean." Cas told him, almost scolding him. "Massive alcohol consumption isn't healthy for a human like you."

Oh how he hated when the angel would do that. How the heck was he still able to read him so well when his thoughts were private because of the sigils carved in his ribs? He really had to start putting up a better poker face around the guy.

Sam couldn't help but let out a laugh at his brothers expense.

* * *

><p>After all was said and done and another successful hunt was under their belt Sam had dismissed himself from the house and chose to head out for a little time to himself. Dean wondered what the heck that could be for but simply accepted that the kid was more than old enough to do his own thing and let him be. While Dean stayed at Bobby's Sam headed out to a resolute area just outside of town to call out to a certain archangel.<p>

Dean didn't know this but Sam's thoughts were running around the same idea as his. Trying to figure out a way to help the angel in his efforts on the war. Standing near the edge of a small rock formation, a perfect view of the town below him, Sam looked up and started to pray.

His prayers were not to God but to Gabriel, hoping to high Heaven that not only was the guy listening but would actually answer him.

"Hey Gabriel. It's me, Sam Winchester." He breathed out. "I know you usually don't do this sort of thing but, I kind of need to talk to you. It's about Cas." He paused again as he tried to find the right words. Hopefully they would get the angels attention. "I think there's something you need to know so, if you can. Could you maybe pop in so we can chat?"

"You know I don't usually do this."

Sam quickly turned around to find the archangel standing just feet behind him.

"Answering calls isn't my forte anymore."

"Yeah, I know, I just…I wanted to talk to you." To say he was surprised to see that he had actually answered was almost funny to him. Knowing that if you wanted to find Gabriel you usually had to follow his trail of tricks so Sam couldn't help but feel more than grateful that the archangel had actually showed up.

"Well, what did you want me to know kid? I ain't got all day."

"No, yeah, um, I just wanted to ask you something." Sam quickly noted before he could get to the main point of why he called him.

"Well then, shoot."

"Well first of all, did you know what was happening with all the vessels and Raphael collecting their Grace?"

"You're interrogating me now?"

"Could you just, answer the question for me. I'm not trying to question you or anything like that I swear. I just, want to know." Sam was adamant to know but didn't want to push the archangel into answering either, which he dually noted.

Gabriel paused for a moment, studying the look on the hunters face before he bothered to even ask himself what this was really about. "Sorry kiddo. I didn't know at first until I heard it through the grapevine and showed up after the fact. Needless to say I arrived late to the party." He _almost_ smiled.

"Well it wasn't exactly a party." He said almost under his breath, his hands now dug into the pockets of his jacket.

"I know." Gabriel replied with a serious tone. Even with the expression he knew better than to laugh at the matter. Castiel may have been the one that had gotten caught in the middle but they were still his brothers and sisters too.

"Thanks for not telling Cas by the way." Sam added. "I know why you did it. If I were in the same situation with Dean I probably would have done the same."

"It's no problem. I don't exactly _want_ the kid to remember. You know, I only wish to spare him the torment." He said as if the fact were obvious.

"Were you the one that made him forget?" Sam asked, wondering about that since the morning the angel woke up. "I mean, Cas didn't have a clue what you were talking about when you showed up. I was just wondering."

"Sorry. Not me either." Gabriel replied, although not giving the hunter much more of an answer than that.

Sam knew that the angel was hiding something behind that all so unfamiliar blank stare but didn't push the fact besides that he was actually talking to the guy, and was actually answering his questions.

"Okay kid. You called me because you had something to tell me about my little brother. You wanna get to it?" Gabriel chided softly. "I've got other things to do."

"No, yeah, um." He breathed a heavy sigh as he looked down and shuffled at his feet. Gabriel didn't like the look he was getting from the hunter as he looked up, so much so that it almost made him nervous. "I think Cas may have…dreamt about what happened to him."

"What do you mean?" Gabriel's hands were now out of his own pockets as he walked up to the hunter, now putting mere inches between them.

Sam explained that even though he still doesn't remember anything about those few days in which he went missing, that it may have been buried deep in his subconscious and were trying to reveal themselves to him through his dreams.

Gabriel merely rolled his eyes and scoffed, saying that when little brother wanted to know something he always had a knack for getting it. Even if it wasn't for his own good. _Kid never did listen._

Just as Sam was about to continue he hears his phone go off and answers it quickly. "Hey Cas."

Castiel? Since when did the guy use a cell phone to talk to this guy, Gabriel thought. Much less, when did he learn to use one?

Their conversation quickly ended and Sam hung up the phone. "Sorry about that. Dean and I are kind of working on something and he just told me that he found a connection to help us out."

Gabriel couldn't help but laugh, what about, Sam didn't know and simply looked back at the angel questioningly.

"Why the heck does Cas use a cell phone to call you guys? Can't he just sense you and pop in to talk?"

"Usually yeah but, you see Cas carved sigils into me and Dean's ribs so, he has to call if he wants to find us." Sam simply answered as he pointed to his chest and then pocketed the phone.

"_Oh_. Huh, well that explains it." Gabriel says, somewhat impressed at how Cas manages to use them, although he's still a bit peeved about how he used it at Van Nuys. _Seriously, kid could have killed himself._ "No wonder I can't seem to get into you guys' heads anymore." He laughed.

"Yeah." Sam smiled sheepishly. "Well I, better get back. I don't need Dean sending out Cas to find me. Especially since I have his car."

"Right." Gabriel noted. Just as he is about to leave he turns back around to face the hunter. "Oh. One more think Sammy boy."

Sam stopped and looked back at the angel.

"_This_," He swirled his finger in front of him as if to circle the space between the two of them. "Never happened got it? I don't need your bro thinking that you've got me perched on your shoulder or anything."

Sam couldn't help but laugh at that. "No, no of course. Dean probably wouldn't like it anyway. I do still appreciate it, though." He smiled.

"Yeah." Funny how Gabriel liked getting that compliment from the man. "You know you're lucky I like you kid. If it were Dean, I'd have him begging and screaming bloody murder first." He grinned.

_There_ was the Gabriel Sam knew. "Right, well…catch up with you later?"

"Maybe." Gabriel tilted his head and smiled before he disappeared.

Sam simply shook his head and walked back to the car, quickly turning on the engine and returning to Bobby's.

Unbeknownst to him, Gabriel only remained away from that spot a few minutes before he returned to meet up with his mystery visitor, their gaze staring straight at the town below them as they sat on the rocks edge, an arm perched on their raised legs kneecap.

"You _erased_ his _memories_." Gabriel said almost chantingly. "Well I gotta say, you don't leave anything behind do you?"

"I had to." They answered after just a slight pause.

"And the reason for that?" He asked.

They just stare at him and say nothing.

"But of course." Gabriel sighed and after a moment continued. "Just so you know it didn't do any good. He still remembered."

The visitor simply gives him a tilt of the head and another look, as if saying that's impossible.

"I don't think he remembered _everything_…" Gabriel trailed. "But he certainly got a glimpse of sorts." He added, taking note of the expression on their face. "You may have erased the memories sweetheart but you didn't erase the emotions. At least not all of them."

"Angels don't have emotions." They said simply.

"Castiel does. I'm surprised you didn't know that. I mean, how long have you been watching this whole thing now?"

They again say nothing and simply face forward, looking back towards the town.

"Right." He sighs again. "Man it's like talking to a brick wall with you." He mumbles under his breath.

"Is there _something_ you came for?" They say somewhat irritated, although still mostly blank in their speaking.

Gabriel wanted to say so much to his mystery visitor, like, _how about you grow a personality? Or how about you take the stick out of your ass? Or even, hey, would you like to go out to dinner so I could show how to have some fun which you are seriously in lack of?_

They noticed the angel stalling and look back to stare at him.

"No, I guess not." Gabriel shuffles his feet and after a moment of getting stared down, simply disappears with a flap of his wings.

* * *

><p>It had now been three months since Blue Ridge and Dean had been noticing quite a few odd goings on's since then with the angel. Whenever Cas found himself in some sort of trouble nowadays he was somehow always getting pulled out of it or the threat would suddenly disappear.<p>

Dean was starting to wonder if someone was interfering each and every time. Castiel sure as heck had noticed and was discussing his latest break to Dean at a remote area of the Black Hills in Mt. Rushmore National park. The brothers had just finished with their latest hunt up in Wyoming and Sam insisted that they take a break for a while and stop by to see the site. Dean figured he was just having another nerd moment but let his brother take off on his own for the parks last tour of the night and stayed behind to talk to the angel.

"So what are you thinking? Divine intervention maybe?" Dean asked as the angel took a seat across from him on the park table.

"I don't know. It certainly seems like it but, I really don't know." He said flatly, if not a little curious.

"Well that would be nice I gotta say but, have you been…I don't know, sensing _anything_?" Dean wasn't sure if he would be hurting the angels feelings mentioning the fact that _God_, was still nowhere to be found but noticed the man's calm expression. Perhaps he was learning to cope with things a little easier now but still, it bothered the hunter even if Cas wasn't.

"No." He replied yet again flatly. "I'd like to think it's him but I really can't say Dean."

"Well it's not exactly a bad thing either. Maybe somebody's trying to give you a break."

"That _would_ be nice." He replied somewhat tiredly. The war in Heaven was taking quite a much bigger toll on him but he always tried to make light of it each time he came down here to see the hunter. He didn't want Dean feeling like he had to get involved in some way but that didn't mean that the hunter hadn't tried.

After conversing for just a few minutes more Castiel admitted that he had to go, that another battle was soon well under way and that he had to return. Dean simply replied that it was okay and wished the angel luck. Castiel gladly accepted it and had soon disappeared, leaving Dean alone.

Dean simply sighed and looked up at the stars, noting how much they looked like someone had just thrown a whole bottle of glitter and spread it across the skies. It was quite beautiful from down here and Dean couldn't help but smile.

His attention however was soon interrupted by a rush of wind and he looked back at his car, only to notice someone sitting on the hood. They were completely still, one arm resting on a raised left knee while the other leg draped over the front of the vehicle. Dean stayed frozen for that second, the _idiot_ sitting on his baby simply staring down at the ground, the only movement they made was fingers picking at under their nails.

Before he gets a chance to bitch at their disrespect for his car he stops and stands almost frozen in place.

"Hello Dean." They whisper as they slowly look up to face him, chocolate brown eyes staring straight into his soul.

Dean could feel the air catching in his throat as he tried to speak, the very idea of who he was seeing beyond his control of understanding. He tried to assure himself that surely this was impossible but for some reason instinct kept telling him otherwise. His mind flashed back and it's at that moment that Dean feels a massive chill creep slowly down his back. He feels his heart pounding and fear welling up inside him as he takes it all in, the only thing he can concentrate on is an all too strikingly familiar angel pendent hanging clearly around their neck.

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors Note: **Oh my God, I have goose bumps from writing this last part, lol. Please review. Reviews make me happy. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors Note: **I apologize in advance if Dean seems a little OOC in this chapter. Also for the maybe too heavy bromance that comes along. This was not the direction I originally wanted to go with and I must admit, I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter as I was last chapter but I just really got into scene here listening to 'Where Do We Draw the Line' by Poets of the Fall and came out with this. I love the song but I don't want to use it here so I'll be waiting for another chapter to take advantage of it. This chapter's somewhat split, starting first as a POV from Dean, then Sam, then Cas. In my opinion this chapter seemed a little lacking to me, let me rephrase that, a lot lacking but if someone could point out where I'd really appreciate it. I've spent the last couple of days reading, re-reading and editing like crazy because of it. I'm thinking that it's because chapter after next is when the storm is finally gonna hit and domino effect after that but I really don't know. So please help me out here. You know how, reading and reviewing please.

**Written:** 8 May

**Soundtrack: **Conviction by Groove Addicts, Brute Force by West One Music, Weapon by Matthew Good

**Word Count: **5700

**Chapter 8**

He was trying so hard to get his throat to work but felt as if it had collapsed on him, unable to even utter a sound. For some unknown reason Dean felt repulsed, angry, confused and downright uneasy. Like all the troubles of the world were hitting him full force at that moment and it shook him to his core. It was as if his body was being taken over by some unidentified inner turmoil and he could not for the life of him turn the damn thing off.

All he could feel at that moment besides panic was dread. Pure and absolute utter _dread_.

He took in every feature that stared back at him. The dark eyes. That blank stare. The last time he had seen it was on a cold metal table in a small town morgue and yet, here it was staring back at him, staring straight _into_ him.

His chest felt tight as the air in his lungs constricted, as if choking the very life out of him from the inside out. His panic was rising. The danger of him losing consciousness from his rising anxiety quickly taking hold.

He can't understand what this is.

The threat he is getting from those eyes, her cold dark eyes, it was so unlike her. It terrified him to say the least. So much so that he had the itching desire to crawl out of his own skin just to escape it. After letting another moment pass and managing to finally draw in a breath, he let out the only name he could think of. The one constantly repeating in his mind like a broken record. The one word he thought could help him face what he believed he may or may _not_ be seeing.

He silently prayed that it was the latter. …_Oh how he prayed_.

After another teeth chattering moment, he finally managed to wheeze out her name. "Isabelle?"

The only reaction he gets is the same menacing, _piercing_ look. He knows that he's falling apart, the threat of burning tears welling up behind his eyes as every mental wall he has ever put up comes crashing down. He can't understand this reaction. These emotions.

…_This_ _fear_.

His brain is slowly trying to form ideas for him and he is starting to wonder if this is perhaps the rise of the witnesses, hoping to God that it isn't. He repeats it in his head like a mantra, over and over and over like he did her name.

_Oh God, please don't let this be the rise of the witnesses. Please don't let this be the rise of the witnesses._

The young woman lowers her head and stares down at the ground again, hiding a tiny grin under the wisps of falling hair that covered her face.

"Not quite."

Her voice is rough and arid, almost parched, dry and desolate. It's empty. But strangely enough, he can hear an almost canorous tone to it. Like a soft melody that deliberately trails at the end.

She returns her gaze back to him, her expression remaining stone cold and unreadable as she continues to stare him down, her eyes unblinking.

Even in the foggy channels of his pulsing mind Dean recognizes that stare, the realization hitting him full force like a mind splitting jolt. Castiel used to have that very same look when he first met him. Empty, barren, unlike anything the angel was now. If he ever saw that again he probably wouldn't even recognize it. Seeing it once more in front of him, it almost spooked him.

Dean thought for a moment, his brain finally able to process something other than panic as he returned his own gaze back at her.

He swallows hard, hoping to keep down some of the burning bile he can feel slowly traveling up his throat. "Are you…an angel?"

She simply remained staring at him. Her eyes still locked on his own. Her posture still, stiff and calculated.

"You are aren't you?"

He's convinced that it can be nothing otherwise. It's just simply the way she looks at him, the way she sits, her stillness, her gaze, the vibe she put off. It was all so tactful, thoughtful, firmed, simply resolute and omniscient. Unlike one he had ever laid eyes upon. It numbed him further more.

The muscles in his arms and legs are overwrought, shocks of electricity shooting up and down like a horrible charge. Traveling prickles every which way, spreading through his fingers, his toes, up his neck and across his face until they meet behind his eyes. He can almost feel them burning, burning as if he was staring at the true form of an angel. Blinding him as it once did Pamela.

He can feel himself physically breaking.

She refuses to remove her eyes from him but after a moment she carefully maneuvers herself from the car and slowly walks over to him, her posture graceful and almost catlike. He watches, and can almost swear that her feet are not even touching the ground, as if each step she took simply floated and the stones below simply moved out of her way as she passed.

She continues to keep lock on his eyes, and he takes in the fierceness of her unrelenting gaze as she puts mere inches between the two of them.

Dean can still find nothing to say, his throat closing in on him more and more. There was just something about her. Something he felt. Something that terrified him. If she truly was an angel, then she certainly was unlike any one he had ever met. This he knew for sure.

He tried to make light of it, even though his brain screamed that he should be nervous, scared the crap out of.

Who would have figured that someone a foot shorter than he and half his weight could intimidate him in this form, he chuckled thoughtfully.

But that tiny bit of false security quickly disappeared from his mind altogether. He knew better. He knew it wasn't what he was seeing. It was what he was _feeling_. And what he felt made everything else seem uncomfortably heavy, like gravity was purposefully weighing every particle down on him and him alone.

Her eyes still remained on him, the want to move or _run_ incomprehensible to his limbs. They wouldn't listen and he couldn't even begin to get them to. He was completely chained down.

She slightly tilts her head to the side and a weak smile escapes her lips as she softly scoffs at him.

"So." Her eyes travel all around his body, taking in every flaw and every feature, her gaze eventually returning to his now petrified eyes. "This is the man who God ordered to be raised up from perdition. I must admit, you are not what I expected." There is not a trace of emotion in her whispered words and this makes him wonder what she truly sees in the man before her.

Another tense moment passed as Dean exhaled a breath, the puff of air shooting through his teeth causing his upper lip to dampen in drops of sweat.

She simply continues to look deep inside him, as if trying to read his very soul that had now been laid out right in front of her.

She speaks again, her soft spoken words still blank and sharp. "I'm going to keep my eye on you Dean Winchester."

Another massive chill travels down his spine that it starts to heavily tense the muscles in his already aching back. He breathes, this time finding his voice to finally speak up. "What do you mean by that?"

He shivers, the use of his words causing a stinging, shredding sensation to travel through his throat and lungs.

He feels about ready to let the darkness threatening his slowly frozen mind to take hold.

"Just remember, I'll be paying attention." She whispers, the look in her eye growing ever more fierce as she trails her next words. "Very _close_ attention."

Before Dean can even get another word in she disappears and he releases another heavy, shaky breath, his head now aching behind his eyes and causing him to double over in pain towards the nausea in his stomach. He finds himself falling as dark spots begin to creep at the edge of his vision but quickly gets his limbs to react and grasps his shaking hands tightly on his knees, gulping in as much air as his charred burned lungs will allow.

His joints feel locked, the ripples of burning electricity coursing through him taking claim to every movement of his flesh, muscles, nerves, bones and blood. He wants to scream for help, scream for his brother but cannot seem to connect the thoughts inside his brain. Instead he remains where he is, gulping, scared, tense and erratic.

He tries desperately to breathe as every intake feels like knives carving against his chest. It pains him to the point that he feels like he is back in Hell, being ripped apart limb from limb. But he fights, fights to keep himself sane. He knows that those days are over. Those years are gone. Still, he cannot suppress them as he's been able to in the past, since the moment he dug himself out of the grave. Since the moment he returned to the light.

At that moment, they have full grip on his mind and he is losing the battle with himself.

He feels wetness trailing from his lids and slowly creep down his cheeks. The sensation of them stinging at his clammy skin, and intensifying the pain creeping back up his brow.

He can't understand what is happening. What he is feeling. He simply gives in on himself. Lets go of what little control he has in the hopes that it will all go away and feels his legs finally giving out, causing him to fall hard on his back and hit the ground. He lets his head drop backwards, hoping that it will help him to gather more air and lets his arms fall to the side. He tries to talk to himself, tell himself that his nightmare is over and that he's okay but struggles with the phrases.

He just lets his body to do what it must as he can feel all the negative energy throughout him, even from his soul slowly start to creep out. Seeping into the cold pebbled ground below him. He focuses instead on his breathing, the inhaling and exhaling of the precious oxygen allowing his chest to settle. For a moment it feels like he's flying backwards _and_ upside down, the rhythm of his heart beating against his ribs slowing down so substantially that he thinks it will give out.

Thankfully it doesn't but the strain of it all has him feeling very weak and tired, and he simply allows himself to just lay there, quietly. He feels himself lose consciousness for just a minute as he reopens his eyes and starts to whisper, the first words he says are ones he can actually control.

"That, is one, _scary_," He takes in another couple of breaths as the pain begins to subside, and finally leaves him, leaving only numbness in their wake.

He exhales as his final word comes out sad and soft, his hand now flopping down over his quivering chest. "Bitch."

* * *

><p>By the time Sam returns Dean has already somehow managed to pick himself up on still shaking legs and drop himself into the Impala's front seat. As Sam gets in and buckles his seat belt he looks over at Dean who appears almost stuck in his own mind, fingers twitching hard on the steering wheel and breathing rhythm going up and down.<p>

Sam carefully waits for him to start the car and go but notices that Dean is simply not making a move to do so.

"Dean?"

He notices the sweating pale complexion, the distracted look on his face, the now _beating_ twitch of his fingers. Sam calls his name again, this time asking if he's okay.

Dean simply removes one of his hands from the wheel after another moment and turns on the car's ignition, his eyes still not leaving the view in front of him. The only sound traveling through his now pressure mounding ears is the screaming of his music.

Sam simply remains staring at him.

They quickly return to the motel, the younger hunter continuing to watch him and asking him what's wrong, adding to his retorts that the older hunter was now scaring him.

"Dean!"

The older hunter simply walks out of the car without even turning it off or locking it and heads into their room. Sam quickly pulls the key out of the ignition and slams his own door, quickly joining his brother behind him.

As soon as he walks in he sees Dean simply sitting on the edge of the rooms second bed, still staring at nothing and unmoving. The light from the small lamp on the nightstand to his right shines dully on his still face, now stark white and dank, the small breaths he takes slow and lifeless. Sam is starting to panic a bit and before he can even ask the older man what is the matter with him he looks up and starts to pray to Castiel.

After what seems like an eternity in his mind Dean stops him, grasping the young man with a quick snap of his wrist and claiming that the angel is busy. With a simple pull of his arm Dean carefully maneuvers Sam to the bed, his gaze still remaining on the floor. Sam sits down beside him but is still looking at his brother, fear evident on his face as he takes in the blank expression on the older man. The lines forming on his face quickly age him, almost as if the older man was looking more and more like the age his soul was rather than his body.

This didn't feel right.

"Dean." Sam tries again. "Dean, you're scaring me. What is going on with you?"

He is still saying nothing and Sam finally moves down to kneel in front of him, a hand now on one of his brothers knees as he tries to get Dean to look at him. The last time he saw his brother like this was the day their father passed and ever since then, he never imagined that this was what he would ever see again. It was unsettling to say the least but to Sam, it looked as if Dean had finally cracked and hadn't even realized it himself.

Sam knew that he may have been crossing a line but took Dean's hands from where they lay on his thighs into his own and now _forced_ him to look up.

Dean finally met his little brothers eyes, the look in them begging him to explain his behavior.

Sam notices the haziness in the hazel-green orbs and is about ready to swing into full 'Nurse Sammy' mode if he has to when Dean finally blinks, his eyes going glassy and bright.

"Dean?" Sam doesn't take his eyes off him and carefully moves one of his hands to the side of his brothers face and neck, hoping to snap him out of wherever his mind is currently lingering, his other hand now taking in both of his brothers.

Dean slowly looks down at his hands, staring at them as if they are a foreign entity from the rest of his body.

"Dean, look at me." Sam pushes his head back up to meet his gaze again, whispering to his brother in reassurance. "It's gonna be okay."

Sam didn't know if that was even true but had to believe it himself if he was to try and get his brother to. What he hears next from him only worries him more and he begins to wonder what has Dean so trapped within his own mentality.

"No it's not Sammy." Dean sounds so small, so defeated, so _broken,_ and Sam cannot think for the life of him the reason why.

He tries to keep his eyes locked on him as if to assure him that everything is going to be fine but Sam doesn't know if he can. He is beyond worried now and is sure that that is showing right through him, even through his eyes that he is still trying to bolt onto his brothers.

"You're wrong Dean." Sam repeats, his own tone softened, praying to God that the poker face he is now trying to hold is convincing him otherwise. "Whatever this is we'll get through it. We always have."

The situation is starting to get incredibly uncomfortable for him, wondering why his brother had yet to make a move to get away. It was almost like Dean was holding onto Sam in desperation and never wanted to let go, as if his life depended on it. Before Sam can even make another move Dean finally begins to speak up, as if his brothers very thoughts finally got him to rouse awake.

"I saw her Sammy. I saw her."

"Who?" Sam asked, shifting his weight a bit as his hand dropped to meet back down around Dean's. "Who did you see?"

"She's an angel." He whispers, his voice still pathetic and diminutive. "I thought she was a ghost at first. But she's an angel Sammy."

Sam can't even begin to piece together what his brother could possibly be talking about and instead asks him if they should worry, knowing for a fact that angels shouldn't even be able to find them.

"Dean, you're not making any sense. _What_ is going on?"

Dean's thoughts are circling around the same idea and repeats it. "I don't know. Angels shouldn't even be able to find us. She shouldn't be able to. I don't know how she's doing it." His speech is still soft and a bit out of it but what he says next comes out if not a bit more forceful, as if he is trying to regain his already crumbling composure. "I'm scared Sammy. I'm really scared."

Sam tries not to let the panic show in his face as he gets up and keeps trying to assure him that everything is going to be okay. Sam still isn't sure he can believe this as he notices Dean start to sweat and shake profusely, his movements quaking and shuddering as if in seizure.

He looks to be on the verge of a complete breakdown and Sam can't resist anymore as he tightly grasps onto his brothers arms, hoping to calm his shaking body.

"Castiel!"

Sam continues to look down at Dean as he buries his head in his hands and doubles over towards his knees, small droplets of blood trailing down his nose and falling onto his jeans. Dean grits his teeth as if in pain and the tears that he trapped behind his lids begin to rush out of him like a wave.

"CASTIEL!"

Sam can't stand looking at Dean like this and begins trying to snap him out of whatever the hell this is while still trying to call out to the angel.

"Cas, get your ass down here right now!" He screams. "Whatever the hell you got going on up there can wait! Dean needs your help!" Before he can even stop the angel appears right beside him, asking Sam what is wrong, the tension in the hunters voice evident in the air around him.

He kneels beside Sam as the younger hunter again calls to Dean, still trying to get his attention once more, the blood now trailing down his upper lip as the shakes withdraw.

"What's the matter? What's wrong with you? Dean?" Castiel doesn't even bother trying to mask his worry as his charge continues to press against his head, the pain inside rising beyond unbearable levels.

"Dean?" Castiel puts a hand on his arm, right over the scarred handprint hidden under the fabric of his jacket and shirt and rouses him awake, his green eyes finally meeting with his blue ones.

The simple touch from the angel causes the pain to subside, leaving it as a fragile throb behind the back of his head. He feels liberated, light, the fuzziness and clench on his brain finally letting go.

"Cas?" The look he gives to the angel is almost phantom like, as if he was seeing him for the first time before recognition slowly started to set in.

Cas could see the last of his doubt fading away from his eyes and what was left in their wake was crystal clear acknowledgment. "Dean. Are you okay?"

Sam just watches as they continue to lock gazes but Dean suddenly breaks it and goes to the tickling he feels trailing down his lip. He quickly wipes away at it and sees the blood on his fingers, the crimson a bright dark fluid against his all too pale skin.

"What the hell?" He quickly gets up and goes over to the bathroom to wipe it away, the two men left behind hearing the water running from the sink.

"What was that about?" Castiel asks, looking over at Sam for an explanation.

Sam pauses for a moment as he takes in every weird thing that has happened in the last ten seconds and looks over at the angel. "I don't know but whatever it is you snapped him out of it."

Castiel simply tilts his head as if he is unsure what the young man means and expects him to elaborate further.

"Thanks."

Castiel remains as he is and just when he is about to walk over and check on Dean Sam puts a hand on his arm to hold him back.

"Wait, Cas." The angel looks down at the hand wrapped loosely around him and then back up at the younger hunter, a glint of concern still evident in his face. "There's something you need to know."

"What is it?" He asks firmly as Sam lets him go.

"Dean, told me something. Something that I don't even know is true yet or not but," He pauses, wondering if he should even say it. "He told me that he saw an angel."

Castiel quickly cut him off before he can continue, a hidden fear clear in his eyes. "That's impossible."

"I know it is but, that's what Dean told me. I'm guessing, an angel found him in the park." He stuttered a bit. "The thing is I don't know who it is. He said that he thought it was a ghost but just kept insisting that _she_, was an angel."

Castiel is mentally insisting that he is wrong. "But how? You and Dean are hidden from angels. _All_ angels."

"I know that but, I don't know Cas. I tried to get him to tell me but─"

The two are suddenly interrupted and look back towards the door to see Dean coming out, a small towel wiping away the last of the blood from his already tanning face.

"It _was_ an angel, dude. But she's no normal angel. She's," He pauses for a second trying to figure out the right words to say. "She gives me the creeps. Like _death dancing on my grave_ creeps."

Castiel doesn't like the sound of that and visually looks worried as Sam does, the younger hunter looking back at the angel in the hopes that he has some sort of answer.

He has none however as he looks back at Dean who has now seated himself on the chair across from them, flinging the towel onto the tabletop in front of him. He drops his head back in his hands, pressing the palms over his eyes as he feels the remnants of his headache bearing down on him.

He eventually lets out a sigh and looks back at them. "I don't know what it is man but…let me tell you," he scoffs. "She can't be good news. I mean, the vibe she put off. It wasn't anything like yours Cas, no offense but," He chuckles to himself again as he sweeps shaking fingers over his mouth. "It wasn't just some _badass_ of the Lord type shit. This was more like…Head Badass of all Badasses."

The two of them take a moment to process that and Sam can now literally feel his heart rate beating in his ears.

"That can't be good can it?"

Castiel almost looks hurt at the comment, knowing that the truth about his slowly diminishing powers is unavoidable and they are obviously aware of it. Sam simply looks down as if in pity and Dean reluctantly follows but knows that it is nothing that they can't get past.

The angel quickly snaps out of his thoughts and agrees, the three of them deciding to immediately leave the motel that night and head over to Bobby's.

* * *

><p>After about three and a half hours on the road Dean eventually finds himself relaxed enough to get her out of his head and realizes that he completely forgot to mention that she looked just like Isabelle Cartwright, wondering how that's even possible. Sam continues to glance between him and the surrounding scenery, keeping an eye on his brother as if he's afraid that he may blow up or something. Even from behind him Dean can feel Castiel's eyes burning into his skull and finds himself almost annoyed at how the two are acting around him. He quickly buries it and goes back to concentrating on the road.<p>

They eventually make it to the Singer home in just a couple of hours.

As Sam tries to explain to him what is happening Castiel maneuvers Dean upstairs and tries to get him to sleep. Dean insists that he's not tired but after threatening to force him if need be with just a tap of his fingers, knowing that he is lying, Dean gives in and flops himself onto the mattress.

While Bobby and Sam begin to ward the house with blood sigils in case their mystery angel should show up, Castiel watches over Dean as he slips into sleep and sits across from him on the opposite bed.

Normally Dean would tell him not to do so since it creeps him out but Castiel could care less at this point. If someone has threatened his charge then he will remain by his side if need be, knowing that he will be left defenseless if he leaves. The fact that another angel is watching them worries him greatly and wonders if the sigils carved in their ribs are somehow fading away, now that his powers are weakening from his disconnection to the Host.

Sam comes up shortly after to ask about Dean and Castiel insists that he's fine. Sam asks how long he'll be staying considering he left in the middle of a battle but Castiel replies that he'll remain here and that his lieutenants can take care of everything while he is gone. Sam finds relief in that and goes to sit in the chair in the corner of the room.

All is peaceful for the moment but that doesn't mean that it remains so.

After a couple of hours of undisturbed peace Dean finds her in his dreams, her words continually tormenting him and after several attempts finds that he cannot get her out.

Castiel notices his restlessness and eventually is forced to intervene.

The angel pushes Dean into a very deep sleep but finds the hunter still struggling in his mind. Sam looks at the angel almost desperately but he insists that he'll be there to protect him if necessary and decides to break Dean's rule of personal space. Knowing that Dean wouldn't like it but again not very much caring Sam watches as Castiel lays in the bed next to his brother, closing his own eyes as if not to make the already awkward situation anymore uncomfortable.

Watching Dean was one thing but watching him while sleeping in the same bed with him was just all kinds of weird. Sam simply lets it go and watches as the angels presence has the hunter calming down somewhat. Even though they are separated by mere inches, Sam feels as if the two of them almost look like opposite ends of each other and it strangely has him almost smiling.

His thoughts are soon plagued back to the fact that someone else may be watching them but tries not to worry as he looks out the window at the sudden storm that has started outside.

He remains seated in the chair and looks back to see that Dean is now sleeping comfortably, Castiel appearing to have fallen asleep as well.

Sam has to mentally remind himself that angels don't sleep but still, Castiel looks very convincing. As a clash of lightning flashes past the window Sam notices the shadow of the angels wing wrapped over Dean like a blanket reaching to the floor and Sam can't help but feel awed. The fact that he was able to see it at all, if he did in fact see it that is, Sam can't help but feel somewhat relieved that his brother truly is protected. The man did deserve it after all.

He continues staring out the window but eventually closes the curtains and drifts off to sleep as well.

The only person left awake in the home is Bobby, who remains downstairs, shotgun at the ready and hands prepared to blast any angel who should decide to pop in for an unexpected visit. If they do, he'll be taking 'trespassing on private property' to a whole new stage of self defense.

* * *

><p>Sam is the first to wake up the next morning, only to see Castiel standing by the window staring outside and his brother still sleeping in the bed next to him. He quietly gets up and greets the angel who simply nods his head in return and heads downstairs to find Bobby still awake.<p>

After grabbing a cup of freshly brewed coffee he joins the older hunter at the table and quickly gets down to the matter.

"Well who do you think he was talking about, _she_?" Bobby emphasized, still trying to wrap his head around the story the young man told him the night before. "Do you think he means your mother? Could it have been Mary?"

"I don't think so." Sam said somewhat hesitantly. "I mean, Dean looked fuckin' _terrified_. There's no way seeing Mom would have done that to him."

Bobby simply shakes his head. "Well _whoever_ it was, you two seem to find more trouble around here than it's worth." He gruffs as he takes a sip from his own mug.

Sam can only chuckle at that. "Bobby, since when have you ever known us to _not_ find trouble? Even when we're not asking for it."

"Well you've got a point there." He takes another sip of his coffee as he goes back to the beginning of their conversation. "I don't get it. If it wasn't your Mom Dean saw, then who the heck was it? I mean, who else could it be?"

"It wasn't Mom."

Both Bobby and Sam stop and look up, only to see Dean walking into the dining room from the study, the angel just feet behind him.

"Then who the hell was it? Clear the mystery for us already will ya." Bobby said, hoping to finally get some answers from the young man.

Dean sighs and finally walks up to the two of them, pulling out a chair and sitting down next to Sam, Castiel remaining to stand just to the side of him.

"It was Isabelle Cartwright." Dean said flatly, turning to look at his brother. "Diner chick from our case back in Estherville, Iowa nine months ago. Remember her?"

Sam takes a moment to recollect and when he does it's like the case replays in his mind all over again, as if it were only yesterday. "Dud…wha…there's, there's _no_ way." He stuttered, quickly losing control of his words and looking back at Dean as if he were nuts.

"It was her man." Dean shook his head back. "I know it sounds crazy but it was her."

"But…how?" Sam asks sternly. "Dean. Angels can't possess the body of a dead person."

"They can of they were resurrected." Castiel interrupts before Dean can yell back at him, pausing a moment to think. "There are very few humans in the world whose blood carries the gene for being the vessel of an angel, and she must one of them as you, Dean and Jimmy are." He adds, looking as if an epiphany has just dawned on him.

Sam simply takes his eyes from the angel and then looks back at his brother. "Well, did she say anything to you? Is there a reason she came to see you?"

"Nothing." Dean says flatly. "Just that she was, I don't know, going to _keep_ an eye on me."

Sam looks a little startled, partially because of that statement and the almost calm look on Dean as he stares at nothing for a moment and then back at him. Bobby doesn't make any indication besides the usual, already knowing that the four of them don't like the sound of that, and when they go back to look at Castiel they find that the angel has already disappeared.

* * *

><p>Castiel returned shortly after claiming that he needed to look into the matter. When asked what he found out he tells the brothers and their surrogate father that he went to check on the grave at the towns local cemetery but the coffin is lacking something; a body.<p>

Dean rolls his head and lets out a frustrated sigh, looking over at Bobby and Sam who steal glances at each other. The hunter is in trouble, and they _know_ it.

Another tense moment passes between them and Bobby looks over at the angel now lost in his own thoughts again, his face contorted almost in anger and determination.

_The angel has but one thing on his mind_.

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Note:** This chapter has actually been finished for a couple of days now but since the ideas have been seesawing I only just posted it now. The scene where Castiel wraps his wing around Dean was originally from MissAnnThropic's story Save You More Than This, which I of course couldn't resist using and had to give her credit for. Thanks again for reading and please review.


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors Note: **Wrote this first bit while having another headache. They are always so very helpful. :P This chapter is really just a short random filler but still holds some import. Next chapter will be longer and will require more time to be posted so please have patience. I will get it up as soon as I can. Enjoy. :)

**Written:** 10 May

**Soundtrack:** Riot by Three Doors Down (has nothing really to do here but I love the tone of this song and the effect I got while writing the first half of this chapter)

**Word Count:** 2400

**Chapter 9**

Word to the wise: _You never screw with an angel or his charge. Especially if his charge is the Righteous Man._

It had only taken Castiel a little time, but two and a half months after Dean's latest threatening encounter the angel finds a way to summon the ominous celestial with a little help. He finds himself at an old mill in Kentucky where his trap is now set, and after performing the ritual silently waits for her appearance.

He is calm, collected but feels an inner anger boiling within him. It has been several weeks since the pit in his stomach began and grew into what he can only describe as a raging fireball. The idea that an outsider has found themselves now taunting and almost bullying his hunter is a huge mistake in Castiel's eyes, and is the last one that this mystery angel will regret in its short pitiful life.

He repeats the mantra again, words written on a small bit of yellowed paper provided to him by Bobby Singer (guy was considered a miracle worker in his eyes when it came to such things) and his angel sword at the ready in his other hand beside him. His anger is now fueling his words to the point where they are almost snarls and Castiel bares down on them like a curse. Even after several minutes of having nothing appear before him, he refuses to allow this threat to take advantage of his distractions and repeats.

Finally, after what seems like the hundredth time, Castiel can feel the earth beneath him shake. The windows of the abandoned building rattle and the now dead lights above him spark and shatter to the floor. He looks over to his front where the body of a young woman now stands, her back facing him and with a quick wave of his hand, the circle of holy oil that surrounds her is quickly ignited.

He crumples the piece of paper and stuffs it deep into his coat pocket as she slowly turns around to see her beckoner.

The ferocity in his eyes is surprising to her as she takes in the hostility of his stance and the rage clearly masked behind his firm façade.

"You."

He simply remains staring at her, his gaze now fully locked on her own.

"_You_ summoned me here?"

"You've been toying with Dean Winchester," Castiel says calmly, evidence of his irritation almost obvious behind his tone.

It is far from the gentle one she holds.

She simply glares at him. "Oh yes. Your charge."

His eyes squint just a bit before returning to their normal size, his ocean blue orbs fueling in fortitude.

She notices, the look from his spirit hiding something greater, something she can't seem to see past the barrier he puts over it. It causes her to question him for a moment before she returns to holding herself up against him.

"You're watching him. Why?" His voice is now more forceful, aggravated. He is clearly disturbed at her presence but for some reason feels no motive to fear her.

"Who says I'm watching him?" She taunts, giving him a stern look.

It is enough to cause his ever mounting wrath to expose itself. "Don't play games with me," he snarls. "What do you want with Dean?"

She simply stares at him, her thumbs hooked on the outside of her jeans side pockets, her eyes catching the angels sword still in his left hand. Whatever little smirk she had has now disappeared behind her blank stance as her eyes travel to his face, the look in her brown orbs showing her diminutive uneasiness.

The angel Castiel is serious, and this she now knows.

He simply remains standing there, waiting for her to answer but they stand off instead, simply looking at each other. The only noise around them is the crackling of the fire that surrounds her.

She is the one to eventually break it as she slowly walks towards the flames, her eyes returning to lock on his own. She lets her hands fall to the sides as she gets closer, the look on his face one of confusion and near madness.

_Was she really going to walk through something that was sure to kill her?_

Before Castiel can even process an answer he sees the flames start to part and split in front of him, the edges of the fire flying upwards as she walks through and then fall back down as she passes.

…It's as if an eternity has just passed by them.

Castiel is aghast, the sight before him unlike one he has ever witnessed and he finds himself instantly regretting his actions as she steps closer towards him. He quickly raises his sword to defend himself and places it just inches from her face.

Even with his now struggling breath he holds his stance, prepared to fight her to the death if he has to.

She simply looks at him, a tinge of sadness and tenacity in her stare.

He tries to speak as the power she holds starts to sweep itself over him like a burning magma. It is simply incredible and Castiel wonders what it is that can have this much power and ferocity that it can cause even _him_ to quake in fear.

"You're no normal angel are you?" His breath is caught in his throat as she slowly makes her way up to him, his sword slowly lowering down as she inches closer. It's as if he does not have a mind of his own and his body is telling him to stand down.

He takes in the piercing red of her eyes, the rose colored supremacy peeking just behind brown orbs.

"No." Her tone is firm, graceful and downright dominant. Just the sound of it has him second guessing everything. "I'm not."

The sword in his hand feels slack but he refuses to release his grip around the hilt.

"Who are you?"

The look in his eyes shows one of mystification and misery, as if he is trying so desperately to remove an unfathomable idea from his mind. It's almost pitiful in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter, Castiel." She speaks softly as she slowly raises two fingers to his forehead, his eyes trailing them as skin touches skin.

He finds himself unable to move.

"We never met."

Before he can even blink he feels as if his mind is burning. The fire in front of him dissipates as he is consumed by light and the next thing he knows his vision sinks into darkness.

* * *

><p>"You know you're gonna damage his brain if you keep that up."<p>

Just what she didn't want: a certain blonde haired, amber eyed archangel with a red lollipop pursed between his lips.

She didn't even bother to acknowledge him as she remained observing things from afar, currently perched on a steep cliff side of Gunsight Mountain in Montana where the Winchesters were currently spending their latest hunt, just an hour outside the town of Neihart. She looks down at the small piece of yellowed paper now clamped in her fist and ignites it in her hand, reducing it to ashes and slaps the debris from her palms, the remnants of the paper being carried away by the chilling wind.

She lifts up her knees and props her elbows up on them, her fingers now intertwining in front of her.

The spell that was on the aged papyrus was one she hadn't seen used in millennia and to be frank, she was quiet impressed that Castiel even knew about it, much less how to use it. Last she knew only certain angels were aware of its existence and even though it had little effect on her, still, she had to see for herself.

"He doesn't _have_ a brain." She finally manages to simply reply after another moment lost in her thoughts.

"He's got a mind of his own though." Gabriel pointed out as he took a seat beside her, his own arms wrapped around his knees.

"Clearly, and it's constantly getting him into trouble." She quickly glares back at him but he simply stares out at the scenery, taking in the beauty of the surrounding forests and wildlife that inhabited the landscape.

"Yeah I know but that's Cas for ya."

She frowns at his use of the angels nickname.

"Kid always gets what he's looking for even if it's not for his own good. I think you know that." He popped the lollipop back into his mouth before taking it out again to look at her. "But I gotta question for ya. Okay more like two questions. One…what the _heck_ was that all about? You knew he was summoning your ass yet you fell for his trap anyway," he smirked. "That was question two by the way. Anyways, I thought you were trying to avoid being seen by him. I thought you were smarter than that." He teased, quickly replacing the sucker.

_Oh how he loved to hear himself speak._ "I didn't _fall_ for his trap. I deliberately let myself step into it." She corrected, her voice as empty as ever. "I needed to know something."

"Know what?" The archangel had now manifested a chocolate bar in his other hand and was quickly snacking it down.

She paused for a moment as she seemed locked in another daze, peeking the archangels interest ever more. "This _thing_ he has with his charge," she replied firmly and almost intriguingly. "Whatever keeps him from allowing anything to touch him or harm him. I don't understand it one bit."

"Well he _is_ the Righteous Man and Castiel _is_ his guardian." Gabriel noted obviously. "Castiel did pull Dean out of Hell. Besides, it's a vise versa thing with those two. _Dean-o gets into trouble_, Cas helps him out. _Cas gets into trouble_, Dean _helps him_ out. When somebody doesn't already beat him to it of course," he grinned as he eyed her, trying to study her expression and figure out what was going on through her head. It wasn't easy considering how blank it still was. "It's like a partnership with them," he finished. _Okay that sounded weird_.

She was already well aware of that but chose not to pursue it. _And what was with the nicknames_. "I _know_ that but Castiel is _not_ a guardian angel. And even if he was, guardians do not protect their charges like this. At least not to _this_ extent," she scolded. "I need to find out what it is."

"You mean you still don't know?" Gabriel scoffed as he finished off a second chocolate bar. She almost felt nauseated at the angels appetite for the massive amount of sweets. "You've been watching for, what, a few months now? And you're telling me that you haven't _learned_ anything. You're just dense," he teased mockingly, the cherry lollipop returning back to his lips.

"I _have_ other concentrations Gabriel."

By this point, the conversation had shifted in her mind and she recollects certain moments she has witnessed the past few months between the hunters and the angel. Even though she has kept watch over mankind for centuries she still finds the exchanges between them strange and sometimes unethical. Yet Castiel has chosen to pick up some of these habits (drinking, eye rolling, feeble attempts at sarcasm, among others) and she has no doubt as from where and from whom. It curiously had her wondering the effect the humans had on the angel. Not that it was really even any of her business or concern. She was simply, _curious_.

"I just need to find out what it is that has them so…" She can't seem to finish the sentence.

"You know, you're gonna end up on their bad side if you keep that shit up. I wouldn't try and test that theory that's running through your head." Gabriel replied adding his own two cents.

She simply sighed at his continued futile use of joking. "What do you really want Gabriel? To lecture me," she almost snarls.

"I'm just saying. I've been around these guys long enough to know that when you screw with one you screw with the other, and then their angel to boot."

She senses no sarcasm in his voice this time but cares not to press on. "Do I look like I care?"

He suddenly releases the cherry flavored candy with a loud pop, his eyes wide and bulging. "Ewwww, I see we're snippy," he chuckles. "Catching some of that from them I assume?"

She simply rolls her eyes as if to indicate her annoyance with his presence and goes back to looking at the forests and surrounding mountains in front of her.

He quickly catches this and wonders if she's even aware of the gesture she has just made. "Admit it," He rubs his elbow into her ribs. "They're growing on you. It's obvious. I mean you're starting to pick up some of their annoying habits." He grins widely, laughing to himself as if this was the perfect setup for a tantalizing joke.

He quickly loses the charm of the idea however, as her reaction has him almost choking on the candy still lodged in between his teeth.

She snaps a fierce look back at him and he immediately backs off, quickly getting up and putting his hands in front of him in defense.

"My bad, my bad. I guess I was wrong."

"This is not a _game_ Gabriel," she growls. _Actually growls_.

"Alright, alright, geez." He pops the lollipop back in his mouth. "Man you really do need to lighten up you know."

She sighs again, her frustration for the Trickster quickly grinding her nerves. "Gabriel. Go…away." Definitely a snarl this time with gritted teeth to join in. Whether it's an order or a plea he can't really tell at the moment.

"Awww, but _why_. Your company is so much fun." He whines stupidly, only tempting to get on her nerves some more.

Instead of a simple bitch face he gets yet another menacing look, this time telling him that she will tear him to pieces. "You're _annoying_ me archangel. Now _**GET**_!"

He simply smiles and bows. "As you wish, my dear." With a tip of an imaginary top hat and another pop of his sucker he disappears and she finds herself alone once again. _Thank God_.

**To Be Continued…**


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note:** Okay so I have given a number of clues to suggest exactly who this mystery angel is and more importantly, what her purpose is and I will be going more in depth to that in this chapter. If you can figure it out then kudos for you. :) If you can't then I am still doing my job of keeping up the suspense. :P Again, I am very detailed and fact conscious so I love to have my nerdgasm moments from time when it comes to research. I only just recently stumbled upon Supernatural Wiki so I do borrow some informative material from there. I also used my favorite quote from Dean in this chapter, the one he told Cas the moment before he rebelled and set my favorite angel (sorry Gabriel, it was close though) down the path he is on today. It was actually the inspiration behind this whole story. Saving Grace just got me to actually write it. Enough rambling, dig in (longest chapter yet). ;D

**Written:** 12 May

**Soundtrack:** Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin

**Word Count: **6700+

"_If there is anything worth dying for, this is it."_

Dean Winchester (1979-2008/2008-Present)

**Chapter 10**

_**Spenser, Tennessee, Two Weeks Later**_

There really was no legitimate reason for her to even care about this.

_There really wasn't. _

So then why was she currently hiding in the brush of a wooded area across the street, just outside of sight of Dean Winchester and the angel Castiel? The two of them were currently having a conversation by the lakefront, Dean sitting on one of the benches of the rest stop and Castiel next to him on his right, sitting on the tabletop.

Sam Winchester had remained in the car's front seat, sleeping.

From what she could hear Castiel was discussing the war and how their latest battle had been unusually easy, considering Raphael was not personally involved this time. Not that he was complaining.

"Well a victory's a victory. I'd take what you can get."

"Believe me Dean, I am. But it does make me wonder what Raphael could possibly be up to now that he is no longer taking charge of the battles." Castiel's tone held worry and Dean had but one conclusion of what it could possibly be. The same had been on his mind for almost the past six months.

"The Grace thing right," he asked slowly, taking note of the angels expression.

Castiel simply nodded his head, avoiding the hunters eyes and simply staring down at the grass. He had learned the ugly truth shortly after the fact and was disturbed greatly by the actions Raphael was willing to take to get what he wanted. It disgusted him.

"I don't know what his plan is or what _purpose_ he could possibly have for it but…I just don't understand how he could do that." Castiel whispered. "It's unfathomable. The steps he's taken." He shakes his head as his mind wraps around everything that has happened in the past year with the war. Regrettable things were expected from both sides, that he knew, but he had never imagined that things would turn this desperate this quickly. "They were our brethren. Some of them who were even on his side, he killed. And for what?"

He looked over at Dean as if the young man would have the answer, but he didn't. He was just as worried as he was and tried to understand what could possibly be going through the angels mind right now. Even if he didn't have a clue he wanted him to know that it bothered him as well, simply because it bothered his friend, because it bothered the angel.

She continued observing their exchange, studying the hunters expressions carefully.

"I really don't know what to tell you Cas but if I did, you already know that I will do _whatever_ it takes to help you. You know that."

Cas smiled softly as his head slowly dropped towards the folded hands in front of him, and a full blown grin came across his face. "I know Dean," he looked back at the hunter. "And I really do appreciate it."

"Hey, anytime," he smiled back. Chick flick moment or not, he meant it.

Dean always relished these short conversations between the two of them. They were usually always right before Cas had to disappear to deal with another mess occurring upstairs, but he didn't care. Dean would take what he could get. That 'what if' was always in the back of his mind, but he never wanted to believe that any of these small talks could be their last. So, he did what he always did. He savored them.

As if on cue, Castiel sighed and looked up at the sky.

Dean already knew what was coming.

"You have to go don't you?"

"Unfortunately, yes." He brought his head back down to look at Dean who simply smiled at him and patted him on the back.

"Well then, go kick em' in the ass."

Castiel chuckled at this. "But of course." And with those few words he disappeared, leaving Dean alone to replenish their conversation.

…

It didn't take long for Dean to have company again and before he knew it, the spot where Castiel sat just seconds before was once again replaced by a rush of flapping wings.

The hunter looked to his right and jerked, only to see his mystery angel sitting on the table next to him, her elbows resting on her knees and leg nearly touching his shoulder.

Funny how she wasn't putting off that creepy vibe this time.

"You know it's not necessary to worry about him all the time." She speaks calmly, not a trace of irritancy in her voice, Dean notes, and staring out at the lake.

"That's easy for you to say." He replied, not even flinching as he had done last time they met.

She looks over to him, the fierceness in her eyes that he has come to know absent at that moment. Dean couldn't help but think that maybe, the shadows from the trees around them just hid it well. But her stare _was_ different this time, almost as if she were trying to study him through a microscope. "Why do you care so much about Castiel? He's nothing to you."

Her approaches are still as expressionless as ever. Dean merely stares back at her, as if trying to perceive what she expects to hear but sees that she truly wants to understand. He looks back at the lake, not even meeting her gaze. "That is something you angels will never get. You guys consider that the only thing of importance are orders and to be honest there are other things out there worth living for. Not everything needs an explanation or reason you know."

She furrows her forehead as if wondering what that could be, as if begging him to elaborate more but not daring to ask. Still she pondered this as he stares back at her, as if to study her himself. It was time to get some answers.

"How did you get into Isabelle? I mean, last I saw she was dead."

"Same as everyone else." She replied simply. "I needed her consent, and she gave it to me."

"You brought her back?" Dean asked considering the confusion of her corpse last being in the morgue and supposedly in the ground afterwards, but she gave him no answers. She instead led the conversation elsewhere.

"_Few_ people can perceive the true form of angels, even fewer with my own. As I am sure you are already aware we, have been known to…_damage_, humans who try to look. Sometimes even lower level angels such as cherubs can become…afflicted by my true form."

Dean's eyes nearly bulge in shock. _Holy shit. _"You can burn the eyes out of a _cupid_?"

She pauses and simply remains staring out at the lake. "Not intentionally."

Dean can only gape at himself and blink as the thought processes in his now spinning brain. "What about Cas? You can't hurt him right?"

She pauses again at the hearing of the angels nickname. "No," She finally says. "Castiel would not be affected by the sight of my true form. Powers, they are resilient to that and hence have no reason to fear looking at us."

"Powers?" Dean gave her an arched eyebrow as if to say that he didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

"That is Castiel's rank." She said flatly. "Just as a cupid is considered a cherub, Castiel is known as a Power." She looks back to him. "There are 9 different types of angels Dean Winchester, each with their own responsibility and specialties in which they excel at."

"So what are you?"

She simply stares at him and doesn't answer as she her gazes returns towards the lake. "Isabelle, was one of them. You can imagine my shock when I discovered that. I never, would have suspected that she was one of the very few who could perceive us." As if wanting to avoid the conversation getting too personal for her she quickly changed back to the previous subject. "_She_ is my vessel now. My _true_ vessel was supposed to be her mother, but…desperate times call for desperate measures I believe is what you say." Dean looks at her surprised that she is telling him all this, considering last time they met she looked like she wanted to shiv his ass. "I needed her. Again, she gave me a very big surprise but…life is full of surprises?"

She almost looks like she wants to smile at her use of references but Dean still finds it a bit spooky and decided to throw her a curveball back instead. "You scare the crap out of me by the way." Dean shoots his head back to her as she looks at him and tilts her head in confusion. "Just thought you ought to know that."

"Why do I bring fear to you? I have no intentions of harming you." _Not unless I'm told to._

Dean grits his teeth. "You just do." He shrugs his shoulders and gives her his most innocent child look, as if he was acting like he didn't know something that could potentially get him in trouble. _It wasn't me._

His gesture only confuses her and she goes back to stare at the water. "I apologize. It was never my intention to frighten you."

Dean had to admit to the shock now inside him, of all the things he was _not_ expecting from her an apology was one of them. "Then why do you?" He asked in a somewhat serious tone, as if to keep his bearings.

She pondered this for a moment. "Perhaps it's the opposite." She takes her gaze off the lake and then back at him. "Maybe I make you feel safe and that's what scares you."

"Come again?" He gets no response from her and doesn't understand her answer. "You don't elaborate much do you?" He suspects that perhaps she may not understand either, if even just a little. "I don't know why," he lets out a sigh. "But I guess I could take that."

"Then why don't you?" She asked somewhat innocently.

"Look uh," He glances at her as if expecting a name but she gives him nothing. _Maybe she doesn't get the hint._ "You know, this is the part where you say your name." She continues to stare at him and says nothing. "Okay then. If you already know who I am then you should also already know that I don't trust anyone unless I know what the hell they're about." He stated simply. "I need to know what to expect from them. That way I can be prepared for whatever I have to face."

"And the purpose for that?"

"To cover my ass." He says bluntly. "It's not just me I gotta worry about. I gotta worry about Sam, I gotta worry about Cas, I gotta worry about Bobby, heck I gotta worry about 6 billion other lives and frankly, I'm allowed to know who the hell is on my side and who isn't."

She merely continues to stare at him, as if trying to unlock the box that is Dean Winchester. To say that the intention of this encounter was simply educational, only caused more questions to surface. "Even if it costs you your life?"

He simply stares at her, his own fierceness seeping from his soul. "If there is anything worth dying for," He stares out at the lake and points to the surrounding trees, the kids playing by the water's edge and laughing, the couples spending time together on the dock. "This is it. I don't need another reason."

He just stares back at her in return and after a moment of simply looking at him she says nothing and presses two fingers to his forehead.

She disappears before he can even blink.

xxx

The next afternoon found the brothers back in South Dakota preparing for their next hunt. While the two brothers packed their things Bobby had already headed out on his own trip, tracking down a rogue vampire in a small city in Illinois which left the brothers with the house to themselves.

After learning about some demonic omens at a local town in Nebraska the hunters immediately grabbed their belongings and took the job. Demons had been strangely quiet lately, but monsters were running amuck which kept every hunter in the country quite busy.

Just as Sam and Dean were about to head out Castiel showed up, looking a little weary but otherwise okay.

"Hey Cas." Sam said first, noticing the angel dropping into Bobby's study.

"Hello Sam."

"Cas." Dean called out in greeting, turning his head and eventually all the way around as he finished stuffing his clothes into his bag. "Found anything yet on little Miss Rinky Dinky?"

Castiel simply tilted his head in confusion, clearly telling the hunter that he didn't understand.

"The chick Cas." Dean said somewhat obviously. _Would the angel ever get just _one_?_ "You know, the angel who's been tailing us for the past couple months." He circled his hand in front of himself as if to point out himself and Sam.

"Oh, yes, of course." He answered quickly, his hands coming out of his coat pockets to fall to his sides and a slight frown appearing on his face. "Forgive me Dean. I haven't been able to find anything out. I'm sorry."

An uncomfortable silence fell upon them for only a moment.

Although Dean was slightly disappointed he didn't let it show, knowing that the angel was simply trying to do him a favor outside of everything else he had to deal with. "Don't worry about it. Sam and I haven't been getting any surprise visits from her anyways. I don't think she's been around."

"Well that's," Castiel tried to find the right words. "Insightful."

Dean just gave him a screwed face as the angel seemed to lose himself in his thoughts.

It was strange. He _had_ been spending some time on the matter, a lot of time actually, and just when it seemed like he finally had something to go on it was like the issue had completely slipped his mind. He couldn't understand how but took it possibly as a simple distraction of the war.

"Anyways. Sam and I are headed out to Wakefield, Nebraska. Supposedly the place is crawling with demons and omens. Care to join us?" Dean asked, still studying the look on the angels face. "Or do you need to go take care of business upstairs?"

Castiel simply paused before answering him. "No. I can go with you."

"Great. Let's vamoose." Dean nearly chimed as he grabbed the keys from Sam's hand and headed for the door, his brother and angel trailing right behind him.

xxx

When they get there just a couple hours later it is already night time. Dean is the first to exit the car and quickly hands Castiel Ruby's knife, knowing that because the angel is disconnected that he is unable to smite demons.

"Dean I─"

Cas doesn't want to take it, knowing that is an embarrassment that he actually needs to use a weapon to smite a demon, but the look the hunter gives him is one between an 'order' and a 'plea' and he hesitantly accepts it.

This causes Dean to breathe a little easier, knowing that the angel will have something to defend himself with and the three of them slowly walk into the abandoned warehouse where it was suspected that the demons had been gathering.

…

The angel is still watching from far away but is suddenly called back into Heaven for an important matter.

"But I don't─" She stops as more whispers pass through her ears and she looks up. "I understand."

She actually _doesn't_ understand why, considering she knows about the demons prepared to attack Castiel and the brothers but she immediately puts away her questioning and obeys, assuming that it is God who wishes to relay something to her. With that final thought she quickly disappears.

…

Even after staking out and seeing nothing, just a few moments after the Winchesters and their angel enter the pitch dark building they are attacked from behind, _and all out chaos ensues_.

(…_All Hell breaks loose would be a more appropriate term, but considering they've been there and done that, they really don't want to take any chances of jinxing themselves. Long live Team Free Will…_)

There are at least a dozen demons or so but more seem to crawl out from the shadows and Dean immediately begins to regret walking in to their trap, thinking that it was going to be a simple five demons at most here and there.

He is quickly disarmed from behind, losing the sawed off shot gun he had in his hands and is thrown across the room, landing with a less than graceful thud to the floor.

"Dean!" Sam calls out to him as he shoots a demon square in the face, the rock salt immediately putting him down.

Castiel has already taken down two of his own but is momentarily distracted when he notices that Dean has yet to move. Just as he is about to rush over to his charge a demon wraps a hand around the angels neck and Castiel immediately drives the knife into his chest, expecting him to fall.

To his shocking surprise however, he doesn't, and the demon simply laughs as he pulls Ruby's knife out with ease, tossing it to concrete floor.

"Hello Castiel."

The demon smiles as his disguise smolders away, and reveals an angel underneath instead.

Before Castiel can even grab for his sword the angel has him pinned against the metal wall and swiftly thrusts his hand into Cas' chest, pinning him off the floor and paralyzing him in white-hot pain as he digs into his chest cavity.

Castiel struggles and grunts but cannot manage to find his voice to scream or even breathe, his throat immediately collapsing on him.

xxx

Meanwhile back in Heaven, the female angel finds herself patiently waiting in the garden.

As she does she is left watching drops of water slide down large banana leaves, listening to birds chirping nearby, seeing vines slowly wrapping themselves around tree limbs. It is all her Fathers creation and she finds simple fascinations in them, even if she never took the time to actually appreciate it.

She passes a gentle finger under one of the ferns leafs and smiles softly at the sensations she receives. It's as if the plants themselves have life and are speaking to her through this simple tingling touch.

Her thoughts are quickly interrupted however when she is soon met by Joshua.

"Child." She turns around as he addresses her. "What are you doing here?"

She immediately drops her hand and looks at him confused, as if asking why he was not expecting her. "I was told that He had a message for me."

"I never called you," he stated simply as he shook his head.

"You didn't?" She looks straight at him and can tell by the expression in his eyes that he is not lying. "But then, who─"

The next look he gives is one of slight fear and she immediately shares one of her own, quickly disappearing before another word can be said.

xxx

Castiel continued to struggle against the angel, clasping his hands around his assailants forearms as he clenches around his Grace, the angel quickly squeezing it around his fisted hand.

As the Grace slowly starts to seep out and into the other angel Dean finally regains his composure and wipes away the blood dripping from his lip. He looks over at Sam who has taken down another half dozen demons and shoots another as it heads for the older hunter. Dean looks back at him in gratitude and quickly takes out his .45, getting up and looking around for Cas.

What he sees almost blinds him in a fit of rage, as he notices that Castiel is pinned helplessly against a wall on the opposite end of the room, the demon thrusting his arm into his chest.

"Cas."

Dean immediately runs over to him, taking out three demons on the way and collecting his sawed off and its then that he realizes that the one Castiel is fighting is in fact not one of them. He quickly drops his angel sword from the holster he has in his jacket sleeve.

The angel continues to clasp his hand around Castiel's Grace as he feel's himself beginning to lose consciousness. His mind is now a numbing whirl around the freezing pain in his now glowing chest and the will to fight it off is quickly dying.

The angel whispers to him in a menacing tone, taunting him. "Don't worry little brother. It's almost over."

Castiel can simply look at him through half lidded eyes as his grasp around his arms quickly loosens. Before the angel can finish the job however he feels a piercing jolt run through his throat, as Dean rams his angel sword deep within him, killing him instantly.

Castiel falls to the floor as the angels hand slides from his chest, and he explodes in a burst of light in front of him, the remnants of charred wings now the only thing left behind beneath his now unoccupied vessel.

Castiel struggles to catch his breath as Dean immediately goes to him and carefully sits him up, asking him if he's alright.

"I'm fine." He whispers, despite the small trail of blood now dripping down his chin.

"Come on, I'm getting you out of here." Dean says firmly as he carefully hoists him up and the angel continues regulating his breathing, the pain from the extraction quickly dying down as he struggles to get his footing on his shaking legs.

"Sam!" Deans calls to him as he slides one of Castiel's arms over his shoulder.

He slides the knife over to his brother and he quickly picks it up as he shoots down another demon.

"We might have angels!"

Sam quickly takes his brothers warning as he takes out his own angel sword and begins to attack with both the knife and the sword. At this point some of the demons are choosing to flee at the sound of a possible celestial in their midst, but Sam takes out as many as he can before they even get the chance to think about it.

Dean puts a firm grip on the angels arm and another around his waist, and quickly gets him out as Sam takes out the few remaining demons that are left.

After getting him to the car and finding no physical wounds on Cas to suggest that anything else has gone wrong, the three of them quickly leave, hoping to avoid any other visits from another angel _or_ demons for that matter.

As Dean hops into the front seat he looks back at Castiel and asks again if he's okay. Sam shares his concern and looks back as well.

"I'm fine Dean," he whispers somewhat roughly.

"Are you sure?"

The hunter wants to believe him as the younger hunter beside him notices the shaking of the angels hands. Castiel quickly tries to control them and nods his head.

Dean isn't sure if the angel is lying but simply accepts it as he quickly starts the car and heads out. Sam remains staring at him but eventually goes back to staring at the dashboard in front of him and lets it go.

Castiel does not admit it, but he does feel significantly weaker. Even though he knows that he won't be able to hide it long, he chooses to ignore it and assumes that his Grace will replenish with a little time.

xxx

Whatever little hope he had to convince himself of that quickly fades away as they stop at a nearby motel. Even though Sioux Falls is only a couple of hours away Dean has noticed that the angel is trying to play off the seriousness of his condition and wants him to rest. He'll be less than comfortable in the back of the car and he knows that Castiel thinks the same.

Sam can feel the tension between the two and doesn't hesitate when Dean asks him to get the room. He quickly grabs the credit card from his brother and heads out, quickly making it to the office.

As soon as he's far enough away Dean gets out of the car and walks over to the back right passenger door, carefully opening it. Castiel is sitting in the middle, his head ducked down towards his chest and hands still clutched on his knees.

Dean knows that something is wrong when the angel can barely manage to even lift his head.

His body feels entirely too weak but he does not wish to say anything to the hunter. Whether it's from pride or panic he isn't sure.

"Cas. Are you okay?"

Castiel attempts to hide his gaze but the piercing looks he knows he is getting from the hunter makes him shudder.

"Cas? Will you look at me?" Dean says a bit more forceful but is still careful to keep his tone light.

The voice that he gets in return immediately causes all his calm walls to fall apart. "I can't." Castiel can barely make any words, much less echo them, which makes them sound so incredibly small and labored. He's struggling, as his next barely comes out at all. "My body feels numb."

Even though he barely caught it, Dean feels a surge of panic swirl in his chest but quickly buries it and tries assures the angel that he'd be fine. "It's okay man, I gotcha. Everything's gonna be okay."

All he gets in return is Castiel shakily exhaling.

He carefully reaches in and takes Castiel's hand in his, wrapping his free arm around his torso and helping maneuver the angel to the edge of the door. Even the simplest movements are too great an effort for him to do, and Dean carefully drops his feet to the ground.

Knowing that he most likely can't walk, or even stand for that matter, Dean turns around, his back now facing the angel and kneeling down on one leg. "Just drop all your weight on me Cas and I'll carry you inside."

Even though it is uncomfortable for him, Castiel uses all the strength he can muster to slowly stand up but finds himself falling on the hunter less than gracefully, as trickles of pain shoot through his limbs. He immediately hisses and feels his vision fading from the head rush, and because of it is left panting.

He quietly apologizes but Dean assures him that it's okay as he pulls the man's arms farther over his shoulders and clutches his arms together, circling them around his neck. He then repositions his arms under the angels knees in piggyback fashion, letting his trench coat drape behind him and slowly stands up. The man is deceptively heavy for a little guy but at least he's not as light as he felt during his rescue in Georgia, (which Dean can only be happy about) and readjusts his back a little to help better support him.

Castiel felt incredibly embarrassed at his weakness and Dean can feel the flush slowly creeping over the sweat sleeked skin of his face, which is currently pressed against his own. Dean sighs and tells him not to worry about it as he kicks the door closed and Cas sluggishly tightens his grip around Dean's neck so that he doesn't slip off.

Even though it takes a lot of strength out of him Castiel manages to whisper a thank you as he shuts his eyes.

Sam quickly comes back from the office with the keys and sees Dean walking across the lot towards him with Cas on his back, realizing that the angels condition is worse than the two of them anticipated earlier.

"Is he okay?" The worry is obvious in his tone that Sam doesn't even bother to mask it.

Even though he knows that his brother can tell when he's lying, Dean just plays it off that Cas is just a little tired and there's nothing to worry about.

Even though Sam cannot see much from under the metal shades that surrounded the motel, he knows better and scoffs. Even if the angel _was_ a little tired he still managed to stand on his own and that was _clearly_ _not_ the case here.

_Dean is freaking out_, but doesn't push the subject as he quickly opens the door to their room, moves to the side and Dean carries Castiel in.

Dean asks him if he can lock the car, the keys still in the ignition. While Sam goes to get the bags from the trunk and lock the doors, Dean carefully sits Cas down on the closest bed, detangling his trembling arms from around his neck and turning around to lay them on his side, the angel weakly gripping onto the edge of the mattress.

Castiel's eyes are drooping again and his breathing is slowing down, and Dean suspects that he may be knocking out any second now.

He doesn't even bother to help him out of his coat or shoes and gently lays him down on his left side instead, an arm supporting the angels neck and shoulders, the urge to sleep quickly filling the angel's numbing mind as his head hits the pillow. Dean then repositions his legs in front of him until he is fully on the bed.

Before the hunter can even ask, Cas whispers through now closed lids that he's fine and that all he needs to do is just rest a while.

Dean hesitantly takes his word at that. "It's okay Cas, I understand."

Castiel carefully opens his eyes just a bit to look at him, the blue orbs almost blank but glassy.

"I didn't have an angel's arm clawing at my chest trying to rip out my Grace so, yeah, I get it." He smiles. "I don't blame you."

Castiel simply huffs as if to want to laugh and Dean cuts him off, telling him to go to sleep and putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

He expects the angel to correct him about his lack of sleeping habits but the only thing he hears next is the angels breathing evening out.

After checking the angel's pulse he finds it slow, but steady. He then moves his hand over his right cheek to check for possible fever but finds the skin to only be slightly cold.

He sighs. The angel is now fast asleep, _asleep_ Dean reminds himself, not unconscious.

As Sam walks in with the bags he asks Dean if Castiel is okay and Dean replies that he's fine as he grabs a quilt from the closet and drapes it over the angel.

"Are you sure?" Not that he would ever think of questioning his brother but from where he was standing, the angel looked less that _fine_.

"He's alright Sam. Guy just needs to take it easy for a while. He deserves a break." Even though he tries to control his tone Sam has been around him long enough to know when he's worried. He really didn't need to keep hiding it.

Sam nods his head but knows what's really going on through his head. He's worried. Especially since the angel is dealing with a freakin' war and now it seems, with Raphael's minions trying to disarm him any way they can, but Sam still doesn't push it as he places their bags on the floor.

xxx

The angel returns to the scene of the fight and finds the dead angel still lying on the floor amongst the bodies of now dead demons.

She kneels next to him and places a careful hand on his chest, trying to read any remnants of possible Grace. She finds none within this angel, Barakiel she reads, the vessel being a Frenchman named Fabien.

What disturbs her even more is that she doesn't find the piece of Castiel that he attempted to steal either. This worries her.

She reads him a final prayer and as she turns around to leave is suddenly struck in the face by a demon.

_Obviously not a very smart one._

With a look of rage she simply turns her head back around and with one finger pressed to his forehead, his eyes and mouth fill with gold light as he is smited.

His screaming body engulfs in flames soon after and is then reduced to ash in a matter of seconds, leaving nothing but a heap on the floor.

She looks down and watches as the demon is literally reduced to nothing but empty particles and realizes that she maybe should have asked him what his purpose here was first.

She sighs in frustration at her stupidity. "Damn it."

Already realizing her mistake of 'smite first and ask questions later' she simply leaves it as a done deal that cannot be taken back and quietly disappears.

xxx

After a quick shower Sam starts heading for bed, when he notices Dean on the small dining table reading through some of their case notes and stealing glances at Castiel, who hasn't moved.

"Hey." Dean looks up and over to his brother who is now folding his towel and tossing it to the floor. "Where are you gonna sleep?"

Dean simply looks back down at their notes and replies somewhat sternly that he isn't tired, not even bothering to look up again.

Sam shrugs an okay, knowing the real reason why Dean refuses to do so, and is soon asleep as well after taking a last glance at the angel beside him.

Dean stays up for a couple more hours and eventually closes the research, replaying the entire thing in his mind as to why there was an _angel_ hiding amongst the horde of demons. It had obviously been a trap, a set up, Dean's instincts were telling him this since the moment he saw the dick clawing into Cas like a piece of meat. Whatever he hoped to accomplish he had obviously not but still, Dean couldn't help but feel that something else was off.

Something about the angels smirk.

He was definitely up to something but could not for the life of him figure it out. It obviously had to do with the Grace, that much he knew, and his thoughts immediately trail back to Blue Ridge.

Dean starts to wonder if maybe he should have asked him what the hell was going on but pushed away that stupid thought, remembering that if he had stopped to chat with the guy that he could have very well killed Cas.

Dean simply lets out a frustrated sigh and gets up from the chair.

He walks over to Castiel to check up on him again and sees that he appears to be doing better, his skin no longer pale and sweating and face serene, his breathing steady and even.

Dean gives a sigh of relief and pulls the covers just a little higher around his neck. He goes over to the other bed and does the same for Sam, the younger hunter sleeping on his side away from him and turns the lamp off, returning back to his chair. After sitting down and placing his arms on the table he continues to let his thoughts flood over the events of the past few hours and still can't get out the feeling that there is something else behind it all.

He sighs and looks over at the wall beside him.

The moon illuminates the wood paneling and it's at that moment that he notices an obstruction in the middle of the window.

Dean quickly looks back but sees nothing there, the obstruction suddenly disappearing.

He quickly gets up, picks up his sawed off and opens the door and walks outside. He looks in every direction but sees nothing but the motel's lot and the trees that surrounded it.

There is no one outside.

The adrenaline rush in his chest is winding down but only slightly, mentally trying to convince himself that it was nothing and makes his way back to the room.

After quietly shutting the door and placing the gun on the table he immediately starts to ward off the place just in case.

After placing a few extra wards around the room Dean finds himself satisfied enough and sits back at the table. As wired up as he is Dean decides to try and rest and pillows his head over his arms and closes his eyes, eventually falling asleep.

The angel is outside, standing on a small hill under a tall pine tree, gazing at the lone standing motel in the distance. She is starting to realize, that even from afar that the hunter may feel her there. She doesn't know how but brushes it off as simple 'human instinct'. As a hunter these senses are heightened, she assumes.

He is still physically unaware of her presence but for some reason she knows what he knows. Even with their latest conversation he recalls none of it thanks to her, but still, it's as if something about him mentally tells him otherwise. That he knows what's out there.

Whatever the cause, she realizes that she will need to be more careful from now on and conceal herself better.

xxx

When Dean wakes up the next morning he finds a blanket wrapped over him, the same that he had draped over Cas the night before and looks over to see the angel standing by the window looking outside.

_Well he's standing at least._

Dean takes in the steadiness of his posture however and notices that the angel is looking much better compared to last night. The nerdy little dude always managed to bounce back somehow and that was enough to bring a small smile out of him.

"Mornin' Cas," he yawns as he gets up from the table, leaving the blanket on the chair.

"Good morning Dean." Castiel looks back.

Dean slowly walks over to him and asks him about his Grace, tapping a finger to his chest. He didn't have to say it, but the angel knew that the hunter wanted an honest answer and not a bullshit one.

"I was able to replenish it." The angel states simply.

Dean nods after a moment and mentally gives thanks, to no one in particular of course. He notices Sam still sleeping behind him and offers to go get breakfast for the pair.

"Dean you know I don't require sustenance."

"I know, I know but it might help you." Dean insisted. "You may be standing on your own right now but no offense, you still look like someone can just push you over."

Castiel frowns at this but Dean simply continues.

"Who was that douche anyway? The angel from last night I mean." He looks over at his face as Castiel ponders this and eventually gets blue eyes to face him again.

"His name was Barakiel. He's one of Raphael's lower minions in the war. He's the angel of lightning." He states simply, wondering why of all angels, _he_ was sent to carry out the job of disarming him.

_Talk about a douche bag name_. "Lovely. So what, he was trying to steal your Grace by ripping it out of you?"

"That's generally how an angel's Grace is removed Dean." Castiel's tone is flat and obvious, as if it really wasn't necessary for him to have to explain the matter.

"Right," Dean nods as he slaps a hand on his shoulder and grabs for the keys. "I'm gonna head out. You stay here with Sam and take a break alright."

Castiel simply nods in return as the hunter starts to head out the door.

"Oh by the way," Dean turns around as the angel looks at him curiously. "You like pancakes right?"

Castiel isn't sure whether to throw him a glare or a frown and simply nods his head, at the same time to trying to remember what a pancake actually is.

**To Be Continued…**


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors Note: **So we are already halfway through this story and I have to warn you, if you are easily upset then start grabbing the tissues because you are probably gonna start to hate me from here on in. That's all I will say about it for now. This chapter would have been out sooner but I caught myself in a bit of a snag and after realizing that I couldn't find a way out of it, I decided to just completely scratch the whole thing and start all over, simply because I didn't like the layout that I had originally planned. I thought it was good but the approach just seemed too straight forward and wrong so I changed it, and made it a sort of crossover with more emphasis on the relationship between Dean and Castiel. The same events happening simultaneously, just from two different points of view. Getting in their heads so to speak. I really did try so I hope you like it. I do have to thank vampireluvr15 again for helping me since it was her latest one shot that actually got my muse to wake the hell back up. I think it had something to do with her comment of "Rinky Dinky" which was also used in last chapter. :P Anyways, I think this came out better considering I also got another headache while writing it. They suck but I'm starting to think of them as my good luck charms since they always seem to pull me out of my writers block. :P

Oh, and a thank you to Meg67, who is recently new to this website and chose this story as a favorite to start off her list. Just seeing that gave me inspiration for an idea, as strange as that sounds, but I won't be revealing that until much later in part 4. Thanks to everyone again. :D

**Written:** 13 May

**Soundtrack:** Whisper by Evanescence

**Word Count:** 4900+

**Chapter 11**

…_A simple, sudden feeling, was how it all began…_

* * *

><p>Castiel felt dread.<p>

This emotion he recognized. Even if it was only for a short time, he knew off the bat what it meant.

He had been feeling it for days now. Nothing out of the usual was or had happened but, even with that notion, when he tried to brush the whole thing away it only progressively got worse.

He couldn't explain it, considering he had never actually had this feeling before, but the way it acted like a heavy rock swishing around in his stomach told him that it couldn't be good.

His thoughts immediately went to Dean and Sam. They were his prime concern when the war in Heaven was at a temporary lapse, and this was just one of those instances. Then the incident with Barakiel changed that and for a moment he thought that this was what the feeling was all about. However, even after that fact, it still lingered within him.

The next day he could hear Dean calling to him, asking him to 'pop in' and without hesitation he left, expecting his charge to be in some need of assistance. To his soft surprise though he wasn't. He had simply wanted to see him. Even though he found that the hunter was currently safe, the growing feeling he then got in his chest when he left him only concerned him more.

Something wasn't right. This much he knew. Whatever it was he didn't understand but something, something was telling him to be cautious and to pay attention.

Even with the war and another battle well under way, he found himself distracted. In the midst of said war and in the heat of yet another bloody altercation, he nearly lost himself in his thoughts and was less careful than he should have been.

He found himself easily outmatched by many of his brethren and had to be snapped out of his daze by some of his own on his side. They could tell that he was not all there, that he was unfocused, elsewhere. They knew that he was useless in that way, at the moment, and immediately removed him from the battlefield without his consent. With that, his lieutenants found themselves having to take over the armies for him once again.

It looked torpid on his part, like he wasn't pulling his own weight, when it was he who was the main aspirant in the opposition. When he was the one who wanted to assure that Raphael would not win and lay waste to the Earth. It was degrading to say the least.

Even though the injuries he got were minor compared to others he'd received, he knew that they were his fault, simply because he was allowing his mind to wander. To be pre-occupied. He would heal of course, but it would take longer. Still, even if the physical damage was temporary the mental ones he had would never go away. Such as the one he had now. This dread that decided to stay.

All because of that little feeling that didn't feel so little anymore.

However when the next morning came over the horizon, that stone in his gut had disappeared, leaving only emptiness in its wake. Even though he no longer felt it he still remained bothered, careful, knowing that signs like this shouldn't be ignored. There were reasons why we received them, this much he thought, but he just didn't know what that reason was yet.

All he knew, was that it was something he had to be prepared for.

…

The day saw no fighting so Castiel decided to spend some time alone where he wanted. Much of that was always spent in his own personal Heaven, a paradise surrounded by trees and grass and flowers. All were the manifestations of a typical Tuesday afternoon, in the life of an autistic gentleman who had drowned in a bathtub in 1953.

He always spent time here. Doing nothing in particular of course. Simply gazing. Sightseeing. Dreaming. _Always dreaming_.

It wasn't something angels did, but not too long after becoming human from the after affects of the banishing sigil he had carved into his chest in Van Nuys, he found that he had always been capable of them. As an angel he just never tried and thus never thought about it. Now that he was disconnected, he found that moments of respite were necessary on his part from time to time. Even though he never liked the idea of deliberately falling unconscious and letting hours pass where he was unaware of what occurred around him, he always enjoyed the dreams.

They were pleasant. Nice. Sometimes strange, but other than that they showed him what the little things around him could be like.

Even though he was an angel and saw everything for what it truly was, that every element had held a unique life of its own, in these solitary moments he could actually enjoy them without worries or without interruptions. Even without the fear of them suddenly disappearing.

Just a moment of peace and harmony. That was all he wanted.

After spending some time alone here he decided to go back down to Earth, even though each trip took more and more effort for him to take.

It was all worth it in the end though. Because he had his friends there. He had his charge there. He and his brother and their surrogate father were his friends. Friends that never judged him, or shunned him or rejected his presence whenever he needed it. They were like his second family apart from his own and he found that many times, he preferred to be with them than his own brethren. Simply because they presented to him no pressures. No anxieties (well maybe just a few, Dean especially with all his recklessness), but all in all they held no despise towards him.

He was all too used to that now from many of his brothers and sisters, especially after he rebelled and sometimes he just had to get away from it. They were a home away from home. He never understood that reference when he had first heard it from Dean, but now that he had experienced it firsthand he found that he was actually quite fond of it.

If only he could envision that here. In his true home. Then everything would be paradise to him.

The moment he touched ground he felt it. That panic again. Only this time he couldn't pinpoint what it was about and it quickly left him, leaving only an uncomfortable pit in his stomach that left him a bit uneasy.

He found himself at the gates of the Singer junkyard, and after a moment decided for once to just simply walk the way up to the house and knock on the door. It was the normal, human thing to do, and even though it wasn't necessary for him he had always been curious at its representation. A simple knock that indicated the presence of someone to visit you. Not a sense, or a voice, or a whisper in the wind like he was all used to. Just a knock. Fingers banging against an inanimate object placed on the outside and inside of one's house.

What a peculiar human custom, he thought. He simply smiled and took the hundred or so yards up the dirt, dusty driveway and up to the house.

The place still smelled of old brake fluid, motor oil and gasoline, but he found it to be pleasant. He wondered if this was what humans meant when they said "smells like home". If it did, then he couldn't really understand the concept of burning scents and things once deemed classic bringing up such feelings. The rusty cars were an eyesore and the trash that surrounded the place was a grimace. He didn't know how such effects could bring up characteristics of your destination at the end of the day. To bring you "Home, Sweet, Home".

But then again, maybe he was taking it too literal as Dean always dually noted.

He watched the last few steps of his journey as he made it up the driveway and to the porch, the sound of his feet under the wood a unique echo to him. Now came the concept of knocking. He paused for moment before wondering why he really wanted to do this. But after living for so long and never actually taking the chance to bother with it, he let his hand raise and knocked on the door.

The look he got from his charge just a few moments later was one of perplexity and suspicion. He knew what the hunter was thinking, even if he couldn't actually read his mind.

"Hello Dean."

"Hey Cas."

"May I come in?"

"Uhhh, sure," Dean slowly moved aside and stretched out his arm towards the foyer, as if greeting the angel into the home. "Why are you knocking on the door? Can't you just pop in like you usually do?"

Castiel simply grinned as he made his way into the living room and Dean closed the door behind him.

"Of course I can. I just decided to try something different for a change."

Dean had tried finding a solution once for that 'popping in' problem, when the two of them first started working together. But Castiel hadn't liked the notion of having to wear a bell around like some farm animal, and hastily rejected the hunters idea. He later discovered that it was simply for his own personal amusement. How he and Gabriel didn't find common ground sooner, he just didn't know.

"Well considering you always used to be bothered whenever I would 'pop in'," Castiel said while making the indicate gesture with his fingers before he dropped his hands to his sides again. "I decided to see why you always wanted me to actually knock before making my presence known."

That earned a pause from the hunter. "Okay…why?"

"Simple curiosity I suppose." The angel answered simply.

"Right." To say that Dean looked rather amused at that moment was quite an understatement. He looked more on the verge of actually wanting to laugh at the angels attempts of human mannerisms and Castiel found it almost heartwarming. "Well, I appreciate that Cas. Even if you are a couple years too late."

Castiel couldn't help but tilt his head. "How do you mean?"

"Cas, this is your house too. I don't think you need to knock to be allowed in." Dean chuckled.

"Oh. I see."

Dean just laughed at his innocence and headed back for the kitchen where Sam was currently making a sandwich.

"Who was at the door?" Sam hollered back as he was finishing up.

"No one. It's just Cas."

The younger hunter stopped as Dean and the angel walked into the kitchen. "Cas was knocking on the door, why?"

Before he could explain Dean abruptly cut him off with a snicker and then a reason of his own. "For fun believe it or not." He chuckled again as he picked up his unfinished beer from the counter and headed back over to the study. This left Sam to just stare at him for a second and then bring out an amused laugh of his own before he followed the older hunter right behind him.

They were soon joined by Bobby who had come up from the panic room with a few old dusty texts and took his spot in the chair behind his desk. It would seem that the hunters were knee deep in another hunt and Castiel couldn't help but notice that many of the books the older man held in his hands had more to do with monsters than they did demons.

He had been noticing lately that monsters were causing more trouble than demons were, but for whatever reason that was it really wasn't on his list of impending issues at the moment. He had other pressing matters but right now in this simple two-story house, surrounded by friends and dare he say it, loved ones, it didn't really matter. He felt safe. Secure. Content. And above all, peaceful.

The next few minutes were simply spent that way. Enjoying the company of those around him. His charge, their father figure and his friend, each one taking away any single care in the world he had to trouble him.

…_That is when it hit him…_

Pain.

It appeared out of nowhere and within seconds it had engulfed his entire form with a fuel burning flame. It punished him, like a sudden raging fever and the jolt of raw electricity that surged through him only made it worse.

It was unlike anything he had ever felt.

It was excruciating, agonizing, like someone or something was ripping him to shreds from the inside out. It was pure horror. The pain not only seeped up from his true form but also into his vessel and he found himself growing scared. Whatever this was he couldn't hide it and found himself soon attracting attention from the hunters around him as he grasped a tight hand on his chest.

The pain was quickly consuming him and becoming unbearable. He could literally feel every nerve within his vessel on fire, aching, tearing, tender. With every second that passed the sensation only grew and he found himself wanting to cry out in agony.

He kneeled, helplessly grabbing for the wall to steady himself. He could literally feel his now clammy skin going dull, pale…

"Cas?"

He was gasping for breath now, as if attempting to inhale air but could not for the life of him get it to reach his lungs. He could feel Dean beside him, panicking, attempting to calm him, but he finally gave an anguished cry and fell, broken completely on the ground.

Cas!"

He was now on all fours, hand still grasping tightly around his chest as if his heart was about to burst. He was trying to keep something in. Keep something from escaping. But no matter what he did he could feel it. Feel the Grace inside him leaking out and breaking away from him.

The body he was in was quickly becoming his. The previous soul inside it long since gone but soon found itself filling up with something else. Something unusual.

He saw it through the darkened lids of his eyes, which were now squeezed tight and he clenched his teeth hard to keep in his screams. The light. The light that kept him alive was fading. Leaving him.

He could see it in the white spots that were dancing at the edge of his vision. His attachment to this body was no longer supported by it and instead drew him into it closer. It was suffocating him, wrapping a deep shadow over his mind and replacing it with an unfamiliar essence. An essence that was entirely sinister to him.

The stronger this sensation became the more he could feel the pain. It was coming in sharper, more agile.

And then he saw it. His Grace.

It was forming over his chest like a bright flashy orb and Castiel found himself no longer able to contain it. Control it. He screamed as the pain it brought left his body feeling broken, undone. Fractured. Fragile. His true voice was coming out, causing everything around him to quake from the impact it caused.

The only thing he could hear besides his own raw screams of torture was Dean, screaming out his name.

_In the middle of it all…was one ill-omened Archangel_

* * *

><p>Dean woke up with a feeling of dread. The same dread that he had been waking up with the last few days. Something bad was coming.<p>

Something _big_ and something _bad_.

He didn't know what the Hell it could be, shit he never got this sense of anxiety when he thought the world was gonna freakin' end, but the stone heavy feeling in his gut told him that he had to be prepared. Whatever happened, Dean needed to be ready.

His thoughts immediately went to Sam. The kid always did have the worst luck. Since he was six months old his little brother was cursed. Although he had no immediate explanation to worry, for some reason his instinct wouldn't let it go and the anxiety found itself growing as the day progressed.

Sam noticed pretty soon that the elder Winchester appeared to be off his game, and after nearly getting his head ripped off by a vampire in their latest hunt (and a small one at that) he chose to confront him.

Dean insisted that he was fine and Sam couldn't see any obvious signs that his brother was _hurt_ or maybe _sick_, but still, he knew something wasn't right. That something was just off.

Dean kept repeating that it was nothing, almost to the extent that he had to tell himself that. He would say that he just had a lot on his mind and would tell Sam to just drop it. If only he could do that himself.

Earlier in the day Dean had called Cas just so the angel could check in, especially after what happened to him with the dickwad angel just a couple of days before, and he appeared instantly. Still, Dean wasn't satisfied, and the feeling in his stomach had spread up to his chest and left him with a mild throbbing ache. It only got worse when the angel returned to Heaven. This dread was deciding to stick around, and he didn't know why.

Whatever it was that triggered it, the looming gloomy doom that had settled itself over the hunter was gone the next morning. Perhaps it was all just in his mind, but still, Dean never did let his guard down. He just couldn't afford to. Not with a war upstairs and another douche archangel who wanted to jump start Armageddon all over again. No, he knew better. When one got such a feeling, just an instinct if you will, Dean knew better than to ignore it. Even when it left he knew.

_Something_, was coming. And he wasn't gonna like it.

…

Today was quiet, so in old Dean Winchester fashion he headed outside to tune up his baby and keep in her tiptop shape. It was his only pastime really, besides hunting of course (but that was more a job and a lifestyle) and he always had enjoyed it. Whether it was because it was the profession his dad grew up in or the profession he himself learned from his own father, Dean didn't know. Sure he always wanted to be as much like his father as he could be, but he found his love for classic cars and their mechanics to be a personal love. One that may have had a bit of influence from his family in one way or another but that he had grown and excelled at on his own.

It was his one true passion in life and he'd be damned to let it go to waste.

So for the majority of the morning and early afternoon, he simply stayed there. Going through every nook and cranny of his beloved Impala. Changing the oil, cleaning the engine, and even making a few adjustments here and there to "classically" update her. (Not like that douchey iPod jack Sam had thought to add on a couple years earlier when he took the trip downstairs to Hell, the nerve) After he was finished he found himself returning to the house for a quick shower, removing all the oil and dirt from his hair, hands and under his fingernails. When he was finished he quickly got out and dried up, quickly toweling himself and changing into a fresh pair of jeans, t-shirt and over shirt. As he grasped onto the doorknob of the bathroom to leave he was suddenly hit with a strange feeling.

There it was again. That stupid hole in his gut that told him something was off. It didn't last long this time though and he quickly found it disappearing before anything could even get started.

He remained standing there for only a minute but quickly found himself simply grabbing his things from off the floor and exiting the bathroom, heading straight for his room upstairs and tossing his sweaty clothes into the laundry basket.

He quickly rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen where Sam was currently scouring the fridge for something to eat and he couldn't help but help himself to a beer while the door was open.

Even with his favorite beverage in hand he still couldn't get his mind off that lingering sense that he had and instinct was telling him that it was coming.

He chose to ignore it for the time being however, brushing it off as simple paranoia, as he uncapped the beer and took a swig before he heard a knock on the door. Before going to answer he gently placed it down on the counter next to Sam, who was busily preparing a sandwich for himself.

When he finally reached the door, to say he was surprised to see none other than his angel on the other side of it was an unexpected turn of events.

Since when the hell did the angel have to knock?

"Hello Dean."

"Hey Cas." His first thought at this unusual encounter was to think that the angel had finally run out of fuel to support his mojo and his mind immediately started racing. If that was the case, then this was going to be bad.

"May I come in?"

"Uhhh, sure," Dean slowly moved aside and stretched out his arm towards the foyer, welcoming the angel into the home. "Why are you knocking on the door? Can't you just pop in like you usually do?" No sense in beating around the bush here.

The angel simply grinned at him as he made his way into the living room and Dean closed the door behind him.

"Of course I can. I just decided to try something different for a change."

Different for a change? You want to do this _now_? He had already been used to the angel simply dropping in with a flap of his wings, and to see him actually doing something as normal as knocking on the front door was news worthy in his mind. That and of course sent alarm bells ringing in his head.

"Well considering you always used to be bothered whenever I would 'pop in'," Castiel even went as far as using his fingers to mark the italics, before he dropped his hands to his sides again. Oh yeah, definitely news worthy in his book. "I decided to see why you always wanted me to actually knock before making my presence known."

That definitely earned a moment to think about it from him. "Okay…why?"

"Simple curiosity I suppose." The angel answered him simply.

"Right." To say that Dean was amused at that moment was quite an understatement. He felt more like he was on the verge of actually wanting to laugh at the angels attempts of human mannerisms and he found it almost touching. It really was kind of sweet, though he would never say that in front of anyone. "Well, I appreciate that Cas. Even if you are a couple years too late."

He knew that he was going to get the head tilt. "How do you mean?"

"Cas, this is your house too. I don't think you need to knock to be allowed in." He couldn't help but chuckle. As if he had to explain it to him.

"Oh. I see."

Dean just laughed at his innocence and headed back for the kitchen where his brother was currently making a heavily stuffed sandwich as his lunch.

"Who was at the door?" Sam hollered back as he was finishing up.

"No one. It's just Cas."

The younger hunter stopped as Dean stumbled into the kitchen with the angel right behind him. "Cas was knocking on the door, why?"

Before Cas got the chance to even explain Dean abruptly cut him off, snickering and gave his own possible reason of why the angel was suddenly changing his routine. "For fun believe it or not." He chuckled again as he picked up his unfinished beer from the counter and headed back over to the study. This left Sam to simply gape and stare at Cas for a second, and then bring out an amused laugh of his own before he followed Dean right behind him.

They were soon joined by Bobby who had come up from the panic room with a few old dusty texts and took his spot in the chair behind his desk. They were knee deep in another hunt just outside of Halifax, North Carolina and considering all the crap that monsters were handing out lately, they had to admit that they needed a little help. Thank whoever for Bobby's extensive collection of material on all things supernatural, especially those with fangs and claws. How delightful.

The hunter had been noticing lately that monsters were causing a hell of a lot more trouble than demons were (ain't that a shock), and for whatever reason that was it sure as hell was on the top of his list of impending issues right now. Freakin' monsters. He had other pressing matters sure, but for right now in this old and shabby house, surrounded by friends, family and (dare he say it out loud) loved ones, he didn't really care. He felt happy. Safe. Comfortable. And above all, in high spirits.

The next few minutes were simply spent that way. Enjoying the company of those around him. His brother, his father figure and his best friend, all of them there causing him to forget all his worries.

…_That's when it hit him…_

Pain.

It was but a slight sting throbbing in his chest but still, it was there. Like a nuisance. Causing his heart to clench up a little in upset and his pulse to race for no apparent reason.

That's when he saw _him_.

Cas was suddenly curling in on himself ever so slightly, clutching a hard fist to his chest and immediately attracting the attention of both he, his brother and Bobby.

The angel suddenly looked like he was in immense pain, the urge to cry out quickly dying behind gritted teeth and Dean immediately felt this own fear leaping in.

Before he could say anything his friend kneeled, helplessly grabbing onto the wall to steady himself. He could literally see his now sweating skin going dull, pale…

"Cas?"

The angel was gasping for breath now, almost desperately. Dean immediately fell beside him, panicking, but attempting to calm him. Whatever pain Cas tried to mask was quickly let go and he heard the angel give an anguished cry as he fell, broken completely on the floor.

Cas!"

He was now on all fours, hand still grasping tightly around his chest and clearly in excruciating pain. He looked like he was trying to keep something from coming out and Dean immediately starting growing sick with worry of what that might be. He had only one conclusion but he prayed to God that this wasn't it. Wasn't what he thought.

If it was, then the angel would be doomed.

He could see it clear on his face though that the pain was becoming stronger, more agonizing and his friend was trying so desperately to fight it. He could feel Sam and Bobby right behind him, trying to understand all the chaos that was unfolding right before their eyes, and to be frank it scared the shit out of him.

And then he saw it. The only thing that could scare him worse than this. Maybe even worse than Hell itself right now.

The angels Grace.

He knew what it was, even without ever having to see it. It was forming over his chest like a bright flashy orb and Dean found himself being almost blinded by it. The angel screamed as the pain it must have brought left him feeling empty and Dean couldn't help getting a sense of that going through him personally like a backlash. Cas' true voice suddenly came out, causing everything around them to quake from the impact.

The only thing he could hear besides his own screams to the angel, was the raw torturous yells coming from Cas.

_In the middle of it all…was one ill-omened Archangel_

* * *

><p>He finally had what he wanted.<p>

Even though it wasn't exactly what he had assigned Barakiel to do, he had achieved his goal nonetheless. He now had a piece of Castiel's Grace and it was all he needed to get the rest. Simple magic, he thought. Enochian spells were powerful, including the one he currently held in his hand along with the pulsing Grace in the other.

It was all he needed.

It took just a few simple words. One little spell. Ancient as it was, and _forbidden _just as so, he would accept whatever repercussion should come his way. The opportunity to inflict him pain, suffering, agony, was in his eyes…just a bonus. Because he finally got what he wanted.

Triumph. Victory. Imminent Destruction. He finally got the one thing he needed to remove as his obstacle, the one thing that threatened his conquest and ultimate goal.

He finally had, Castiel.

"…_Goodbye brother."_

And with just a few simple words, the archangel Raphael…mercilessly sacrificed another angel of the Lord.

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Note:** Thank you again to everyone who has been around for the ride. Now please review and make me jump up and down in craziness. Only way to get the sugar out of my system. :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Authors Note: **None

**Written: **14 May

**Soundtrack:** One by Metallica

**Word Count: **3100

**Chapter 12**

Castiel just screamed.

The last thing he saw before his vision went white was Dean slamming his hands over his ears. His true voice tore out of him, reverberating off the walls and quaking the house, shattering all the glass, lights and windows.

Castiel's chest arched painfully upwards towards the ceiling as the room filled with blinding light, his Grace in its purest form ripping completely out of him and going off like a bomb. It's searing, even as Dean, Sam and Bobby squeeze their eyes closed, the burning could be felt on their skin.

…And then suddenly, it's gone.

It fades quickly after the initial blast, until all the angel could feel were unnatural, painful vibrations in his throat and the sound of his scream was purely that of a human.

Dean opened his eyes before the light even dissipated entirely and quickly looks back at Castiel, just in time to catch the angel as he collapses. Every drop of his power drained out of him.

Castiel feels vital pieces of himself simply gone. The space where his Grace should be is dark, empty and lifeless.

Sam and Bobby cautiously uncover their eyes and look over to see Dean with both arms wrapped around Castiel's shaking frame.

Castiel, just barely aware that Dean is even at his side, couldn't speak. He only gasped, struggling to breathe as he tried to make sense of all the new sensations bombarding him, while at the same time wondering where all of his perception had gone. The part of him that could sense anything and everything around him, from the molecules in the trees to the particles in the air, was conspicuously absent and it was replaced by newer, more faded feelings.

His body, for it truly was his body now and no longer just the vessel that grounded him, was what he was most aware of, and it felt weak, small, and utterly breakable. Tiny, prickling aches covered every one of his joints and dressed his skin, making him feel unnaturally cold. He felt far too much of himself and not nearly enough of the world surrounding him. Everything appeared so absent now.

It all then slips away and he finds himself falling into nothingness, once again hearing only faint whispers, and someone beside him calling out his name.

xxx

The force of Castiel's Grace could be felt throughout the atmosphere and one angel in particular picked up on it quickly.

She immediately flew towards it, knowing that the impact it caused from outside his vessel couldn't have been a good sign. She mentally curses at herself.

She had just been conversing with another angel, an angel with knowledge on Raphael's whereabouts when she had left. She had chosen to follow up on that lead, only planning to be away from her charge for a short time. The trip unfortunately had been in vain with her less than cooperative brother and her blood ran ice cold at his last words to her as she chose to leave.

"_You never know what could happen when you're not watching_."

She sighed in frustration and anger as she hurried to the source of the cosmic disruption.

She assumed that this was what humans meant when they said that they could kick themselves. If so, she could kick herself to next century right about now.

xxx

Calling his name did nothing. No matter how much Dean tried to get the angel to wake he got no reaction in return. Castiel was out cold and that's what scared him most of all.

The angel _felt_ cold.

Were it not for his violent shivering and small shaky breaths, he would have thought the angel had died but Dean saw no traces of charred wings beneath him. He was simply laying there, unconscious and unable to respond to any of their rousing. After just a few minutes they deemed that it was safe to lift him. The small movements however obviously caused him pain, judging by the fact that he pathetically hissed and flinched anytime someone touched him.

Dean tried to coax the angel as he was taken upstairs to their bedroom, trying to assure him that everything would be alright even if Castiel couldn't hear them. Every bit of his body twinged in pain and even his breathing sounded agonizing. Everything about him was just sensitive at the moment. They simply laid him down on the bed closest to the door and covered him up in several blankets, hoping to reduce the shivering.

After a few minutes however they saw that it had done nothing really for him and that the only reaction they were getting as he was slipping in and out of consciousness was Castiel lying on his left side and curling in on himself.

He was in so much pain right now. The physical part of it was nothing much than a sore ache emanating from his chest. But the mental reality of it was what hurt the most. Castiel knew what had happened. Dean tried to assure him, comfort him with words that everything was going to be alright but he didn't know. He wasn't made aware of what was going on. Castiel could feel it. His Grace, the one thing that kept him together with Heaven was gone and it felt like everything about himself had simply disappeared. He was now a fallen an angel; a man. A being without wings and without ties to the Host of Heaven. He was a simply a mortal.

He knew what would happen. He had felt the effects of the spell that stole from him what was most precious and the poison that inserted itself just after. He had recognized its presence the moment he caught it. That split second right before his Grace was taken.

He couldn't understand who are why but he knew the inevitable. He could feel it. So he did what he always did in these circumstances. He started to pray. Pray to his Father, in the hope that he could provide him with an answer as to why. He knew he would ultimately fall, take the final step in this curse and he prayed not only for his sake but for the sake of his charge. What the two of them held was unlike anything he had ever had and he knew that if he should perish, then the hunter would most likely do so as well. Castiel didn't want that.

He let his mind bury itself in his own thoughts as the first lulls of sleep started to take hold of him and left Dean to simply watch him as the shakes receded and his words go quiet.

xxx

Sam and Bobby were now in full research mode. Whatever the hell had happened wasn't normal and sure as hell wasn't right. Castiel was down for the count and while Dean was upstairs taking care of him the younger hunter and their surrogate father poured themselves into the books.

What they were getting was really nothing helpful and only raised more questions for them. While Dean insisted that they find something he took charge in trying to get Cas to wake, hoping that maybe the angel had something he could tell them. He still got nothing however as the only reaction the angel made was to breathe slowly but desperately, each exhale coming out almost as a painful moan. Dean tried his hardest not to touch him as he only quivered in pain but the moment he started to rub his upper back in light circles the angel almost visibly relaxed. The hunter didn't know why this touch helped him so greatly but he didn't question it as he continued with the ministrations.

Whatever was happening to the angel had obviously devastated him and even though there were no definite answers Dean knew what the light meant. Cas' Grace was gone, that much he could tell but what he didn't know was why or how and it only angered him. He tried his best to control it however because when he let off such emotions Cas seemed to pick up on them and his back tensed each and every time. Dean needed to stay relaxed for the sake of the angel and so he started to whisper to him, telling him that he was going to fix it and that he was going to help him.

He didn't know if Castiel was even listening but he tried his best to keep his composure and thus continued on anyways. In a way it was not simply just for him but also for himself. Dean felt a little lost right now and assumed that the angel felt just as bad if not worse. In between sentences he found himself mentally praying that it almost shocked him, but he figured that the angel might have been doing the same thing as well right now and just went along with it. It was probably the only thing keeping both of them sane right now.

…

Hours had passed and still Sam nor Bobby could find out what had happened. They knew his Grace was gone, that much they could be sure of but neither one wanted to voice it. They simply kept the ideas to themselves and continued to pour their efforts into their mission. Dean remained at Castiel's side, constantly checking him for possible consciousness or even side effects. He knew that he was probably being paranoid but after having the idea that the angel was invincible for the most part and to have him suddenly taken down like this, was an eye-opener. He still found the angel to be sleeping and started to feel his skin growing a bit warmer compared to how cold it was earlier. Soon enough though he found that he didn't like it, because now the angel was getting a little too warm even with all the blankets covering him.

He whispered to him that he would be right back as he headed downstairs to the kitchen to get him a glass of water to drink when he woke up and quietly left the man alone.

This was exactly the opportunity she needed.

The angel, having found out what had happened to Castiel, went to find him and with a quick press of her hand against his chest realized that his Grace had indeed been ripped out of him. She felt nothing but a cold dead space where it should have been and this not only worried her, but angered her greatly.

Castiel felt her presence, if only slightly through his hazy mind, and it is somehow familiar to him. He simply cannot figure out from where at that moment.

He simply whimpered softly from the pain of her touch as she removed her hand.

She is unsure how this was possible but had several theories plaguing her mind at that moment as to the possibilities of an outside source being responsible. She simply couldn't tell.

Before she can even decide what to do however, Dean returned to the room and found her standing over the angel.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

She quickly looks up at the hunter, anger clear across his face as she slowly walks away from the bed. At the same time he sets the glass of water on the floor and steps ever so cautiously towards her.

Knowing that he is not in good spirits she decides that it is best that she stays calm, so she gives him a simple reply to answer his question. "I'm here to find out what happened to Castiel."

"Why?"

"It's only my business to know." She replies simply again, her gaze and emotion as unreadable as ever. "You need to trust me."

"Trust you? I don't even know you!" Dean hollered, clearly not liking her pathetic answers.

He feels uneasy around her, even with his anger masking much of the fear he got from her the first (and in his mind) the last time they met.

"You don't need to know me."

"You know what. I'm getting sick of this crap." He quickly started to roll up his sleeve and grabbed a small pocket knife from his back pocket, quickly bringing out the blade. "If I don't start getting some answers from you then I swear to God that I will blow your ass to kingdom come!"

She first registers the blasphemy running through his lips and then his anger, knowing that he is very much capable of his threats and she hesitantly sighs. She looks up from the blade now pressed against his arm and then into his eyes. "Alright."

Even though she wished against it she knew that it was about time he got some answers, even if she didn't necessarily want to give them. Leaving the angels side was not what she needed right now and to leave the hunters as well was simply not an option either. She had to give him something, if only to prevent provoking him.

"Now I'm gonna ask you, only once. Who the hell are you?" he asked threateningly, the blade still on his forearm.

She hesitated in response and it only pushed him farther in his anger that he pushed the blade down further, slowly drawing blood at the edge. "Elizael," she said simply. "My name is Elizael."

"Elizael," he repeated as if trying to pronounce it correctly. "That's your name? Well if that ain't one of the douchiest I've ever heard."

She simply furrowed her brow as if in confusion, having never actually heard the reference.

"How about I call you Elizabeth instead? It sounds better." He actually sounded serious, she noted. There was not a hint of sarcasm in his voice like usual when he taunted someone.

This only caused her to furrow her brow in aggravation now rather than confusion. "That's not my name. It's Elizael, and I don't appreciate you tainting the name my Father gave me."

He really didn't give a shit. If it bothered her that much then Dean would do it just to spite her. "Whatever. _Elizabeth_."

The human was quickly trying her patience.

"Second of all. What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was sent here, to keep an eye on things." Her answers continued to be vague at best and this only caused his frustration to simmer more.

"By who? _Raphael_?"

"No," she replied somewhat forcefully, though barely caught unless you listened for it. "I was sent here by God."

"By God?" He sounded as if he didn't believe her.

"_Yes_. Look, I'm not here to harm anyone. I'm just here to do my job."

Dean didn't believe her though and remained unconvinced. "Oh really, your job? Then tell me this," He slowly approached her, both to get into her personal space to drive her further away from a still unconscious Castiel. "Why the hell have you been watching us the past couple of months?"

She replied just as blankly. "I've been watching for almost a year."

Dean's face dropped at her answer and it made him feel incredibly uneasy, wondering how it had gone that long without him realizing that they were being traced. Even more so, how was it that Castiel had never noticed?

After another uncomfortable moment passed he finally managed to speak, his eyes still locked on her unblinking own. "What's wrong with Cas?"

"His Grace is gone." She replied simply, still not expressing any emotions whatsoever in her words. What she said next caused a pit in his stomach to grow and he found himself almost wanting to physically harm her at her lack of sympathy. "He's dying."

He was left there simply gaping as the words hit him hard. "Dying? No, that's impossible." He retorted, nearly yelling. "What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean he's dying?"

"I don't know what happened but if he doesn't get his Grace back soon then Castiel will die."

Dean's firm façade changed from one of anger to one of disbelief and she cautiously studied his reaction. He seemed almost appalled and this made her wonder still, why he even cared.

He is unsure what to say and finds himself almost buckling from the news. How could she sound so careless?

"Perhaps there is something else involved here, I don't know."

He notices a glint of worry in her tone, the very first emotion he has ever heard from her and he wonders if it's even what he's hearing. What she says next quickly erases that idea.

"Perhaps this was meant to happen." She said to herself as she looked down at the floor, her mind seemingly wandering elsewhere.

Dean wants to literally scream at her for such stupidities but notices that there is something more significant in her tone and expression and wonders what it is that is going through her mind right now. He sees it clear in her eyes. Something here isn't right but she is refusing to believe in it somehow and instead decides to accept the reality.

"Perhaps it is Castiel's time."

That was the final straw for him. Before Dean can even snarl a reply to that she takes a step towards him and before he can even move back, she finds herself in immense pain, emanating from the Grace in her chest and she is blown away with a sharp white bang. Her screams are clear in his ears as she disappears from sight and everything that was standing in the room is left nearly in fallen shambles. Even Dean found himself stumbling backwards at the force of it.

The hunter has no idea what just happened and looks back to see Sam at the doorway, blood dripping down his left arm and his hand slowly removing itself from the wall on the other side.

"What did you do?" Dean asked somewhat surprised as he picked himself up off the floor. It was a 'duh' obviously but he had never seen that effect before. It literally felt explosive.

"Blew her to Oz."

"Sure you didn't just blow her _up_?"

"I don't…think so." Sam wasn't even sure now after seeing what he had done.

Dean wanted to shout at him as to why the hell he did that when he was just starting to get some answers but in the end reconsiders otherwise, considering his trust issues with her. Whatever the heck her purpose was for being there Dean didn't give a shit at the moment and simply went back to watching over his angel.

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Note: **Get ready for my angst I'm sorry; call me crazy but I was really considering stopping the story after watching the season finale simply because one of the BIGGEST plots in this whole verse was literally thrown in my face. My mind immediately said, "Stop while you're ahead." And after everything I saw, I was just…I can't really describe it. I have chills, and some outlooks have changed. And I am trying so _desperately_ to hang onto what once was. I know it sounds dramatic but, I didn't plot a whole outline of four stories for nothing so, I think it's only fair to all of those who have stuck around for me to continue so…I will. Some of us may be disappointed at how our favorite angel turned out in the end but, hopefully through stories like ours, we can still keep a little piece of him. God knows I'm trying. So, without further conclusion, I'll keep posting if you guys keep asking. Thank you again.

**Authors 2nd End Note:** 23 May 2011. Now my angst has really flared. It was just announced this morning that Misha Collins will not be a regular next season. He's the reason I started to watch Supernatural again in the first place. God, I hope there's some miracle in the world that will help me and bring us back OUR Castiel. 8(


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors Note:** Mention of torture scene is from chapters 18 and 19 of "One of Nature's Masterpieces" by author zeppx and co-authored by Susangel. I have never seen a story go so in depth with what happened to Castiel when he experienced Zachariah's _persuasions_. Best one I've read and you haven't done so, you can find it under my favorites. So go check it out. Also, final clues of revealing who and what Elizael (now that we have a name) is written in this chapter. This will be the final clue I put out there. If you still can't figure it out then you will have to wait until chapter 16 for the first half and then another clue in Chapter 17 for the second half. That answer won't be out until the very end of part two. I will take it as a great piece of pride if you can't figure it out. Then that tells me that I really am learning to have some patience. I hope I'm doing well. 8D Enough babble, onto the story. 8P

**Written: **15 May

**Soundtrack:** Broken by Lifehouse

**Word Count: **8500+

**Chapter 13**

On the eve of the second day is when the trickles of fever started to set in. The physical pain had remained about the same but Castiel soon found it growing as well along with the heat. He still couldn't stand anyone touching him, the prickling throughout his limbs still sending jolts of pain throughout his body, reaching from his toes all the way to his fingertips like prickling needles. Even when Dean tried to rub his back as he had done the day before, his body began to protest.

The trembling had also become more noticeable and Dean had tried to help with medication, hoping that the pain would simply wear off after a while. However, after the second dose and twelfth hour of the pills flowing through his system, he found that it had done nothing for him. If anything, it only made everything worse. Castiel just insisted that he stop, as the slowly mounting pain started to cause his head to throb and soon erupted into an ear splitting headache.

His spine and shoulder blades were screaming and the angel knew that the comfort that was once there had been taken away, because his wings were no longer with him. His stomach cramped and rolled. Even when the hunter insisted that it was because he was hungry and that he had to eat something, the angel flat out refused. Even breathing was starting to have its difficulties, and Castiel knew that this was only the start of it.

By mid afternoon, the fever had already begun to weaken him and Sam and Dean had helped him out of most of his clothing, leaving him dressed with only his shirt and pants. The shaking only got worse as his temperature climbed and the brothers found themselves having to pile several blankets on top of him just to get them to recede a little. Even the weight of them caused him to groan pitifully in pain, every little sensation he experienced causing him to curse at himself for such weakness.

Dean simply sat there talking to him, trying to coax him and insisted that they were going to find something to help him. He promised him that everything would be okay. No matter what. Castiel merely looked at him, as if to tell the hunter that he shouldn't make promises that he couldn't keep, but this only made Dean more stubborn. He hated the angels negative attitude at the moment, but if he had to be the one to take him out of it then he would gladly be up for the challenge. Castiel was losing faith way too quickly, and this had Dean wondering if there was something the angel wasn't telling him.

After several hours of their research getting nowhere, Sam decided to try something bolder and quickly went outside to the junkyard to call on a certain archangel. He knew that the man said to never use him as a calling card but this was an emergency and Sam knew, that the archangel _had_ to know. Would _want_ to know.

"Gabriel. I know you said that you didn't want me calling you anymore but it's about Cas." Sam started, knowing that he had used those words before to pray to him, but he hoped that the sound of his tone told the angel how serious this was. That this was something he wasn't joking about. "Look, something happened to him. Something _serious_." He sighed, hoping to God that he was listening and squeezed his hands tight in his pockets. The stress of it all was quickly getting to him. "I'm not sure what's going on, but if you're listening─"

His words were suddenly cut off by a flap of wings behind him and Sam turned around to find the petite angel standing there.

"Gabriel."

"You wanna tell me what the Hell is going on kid?" He shot, looking more than just a little aggravated at the hunters constant calls (even though it was only the second one).

"You tell me." Sam retorted back, not meaning to catch such tone with him but was already on edge and just happened to take it out on him. "We have an angel show up, tell us that Cas' Grace is gone _and_, that he's dying. So why don't _you_ tell me what the Hell is going on huh?"

"Wait a minute." Gabriel's attitude quickly disappeared as he put up his hand. He had to mentally rewind those last few words that the hunter had just spoken, as if they had been completely muted out. As soon as he hit replay in his brain, he started wondering if he had actually heard what Sam had just told him and started getting a little antsy that he may have heard right. "What did you say?"

"Cas' Grace is gone." Sam repeated again, slowly this time to make sure the angel got it.

"What do you mean his Grace is gone? What are you talking about?"

"I mean it's gone Gabriel! Like, ripped out of him, okay. One minute he was fine. The next minute it was just…over. I don't know how to explain it to you. I don't know what happened."

Gabriel saw it clearly through those wide hazel eyes. Sam wasn't lying to him, then again there was no reason to either. This only had his fear going up several notches. Sam noticed it too but another thing he couldn't help but pick up on was that Gabe seemed to be a little tranced. And why was he not concerned with the information that they had found out about Cas' Grace through another angel? Sam now had a few questions to go searching through, and he didn't know if he was going to like what he found. Strangely enough, he had started to trust Gabriel. He didn't want to get the idea that the angel was hiding something from them. Not that it was any of his business but, he was starting to show the archangel a little that he trusted him. He was hoping for a little of the same in return.

"Where is he?" Gabriel asked, his tone now serious more than angry.

"He's upstairs."

Gabriel didn't even wait for his permission and immediately walked passed Sam, heading straight for the house and upstairs to his little brother. Not even Bobby got anything more than a look from the younger hunter as he noticed the angel bolting up the stairs two steps at a time.

By the time he got to Sam and Dean's room he found the older hunter trying to make Cas a little more comfortable, pulling up the blankets and wiping the sweat from his forehead with a washcloth. The angel had yet to move from his original position on the bed, still laying on his side and curled in on himself but now he was in a tightly compressed ball, his eyes shut tight and breathing painful gasps through gritted teeth. In a nut shell, his brother looked pretty bad off.

"Gabriel?" Dean looked up as soon as he saw the archangel walk through the door. "How did you─"

"Your brother called." He answered abruptly, immediately walking over to Castiel.

Before he could lay his hands on him Dean stopped him, putting a hand in front of him to block his way. "Don't touch him."

His tone was not the least bit threatening or anything of the sort in any way, but more worrisome and cautious. And it was something that Gabriel immediately picked up on. Dean was being protective, but as the big brother it was his turn to do so.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because it hurts him Gabriel." Sam answered simply, knowing that the archangel could understand Dean's point of view. They were both older brothers who were protective of their younger siblings. It was natural for friction to occur in these types of circumstances.

"I'm not gonna hurt him." Gabriel replied, trying to assure the older hunter that he was simply there to help even if it wasn't asked for.

Dean simply moved his hand but remained standing where he was, still careful of Cas should the archangel pull anything stupid. Not that he wasn't starting to trust him a little but the angel did kill him more times than he could count and he still held that against the guy.

"Alright little bro. You need to tell me where it hurts okay?" Gabriel gently removed the side of the blanket that covered his back and gently placed both hands against it, trying to feel for any possible remnants of his Grace. To his surprise though, he didn't find any.

Castiel immediately shuddered against his touch and the archangel looked down at his face, a painful expression clear to him through his gritted teeth and furrowed brow. He was hurting, and even though Gabriel didn't know what the cause of that could be he looked over at the older hunter who looked back at him, their eyes locking for just a moment. Gabriel was showing that he was worried and confused but Dean's said exactly the same, and the archangel had to admit that he was a little shocked. Not that he should be but still, Dean was taking this personally. Very personally.

Gabriel's hands remained on his back and gently pushed down, trying to heal Castiel from whatever this was. As soon as he did Castiel yelped softly and Dean was about to take his hands away and stop him but the next second, Cas' breathing had settled a bit and calm seemed to pass through his features.

Gabriel was healing him, but it was slow and even a little difficult. The second unusual thing that happened was that Gabriel was starting to feel a strange tingle travel up his fingers and through his hands, reaching up to his wrists and then his arms, causing him to flinch and pull away. Cas had visibly relaxed, but there was still a bit of pain evident in his expression and Gabriel looked back down at his hands, which were now trembling and even growing slightly red in color.

"What happened?" Dean asked, noticing the shaking and the confused look on the archangels face.

"This isn't natural." He simply whispered, squeezing his hands tightly into fists as the pain started to recede.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, walking up to him and standing on his side.

"Whatever this is, it's tied to his true form. It's keeping him from being able to heal and blocking mine."

"Wait a minute. What are you talking about?" Dean asked, not noticing that Castiel had now opened his eyes a slit to look over to his brother.

"I mean that it's not just that his Grace is gone kid." Gabriel finally lowers his hands to his sides, his arms suddenly feeling numb and a bit heavy. "There's something else going on here. I just don't know what yet. But whatever it is, nothing you do is gonna help him. If you even try…it gets worse." Gabriel's tone ebbed that of frustration, this new revelation causing him to grow even more on edge.

Dean couldn't believe what he was saying. Castiel was suffering and it seemed that the loss of his Grace was only part of it. There was something more here and the archangel didn't seem to know what it was. This actually scared Dean and it's then he recalled for a moment what Elizael had said the night before. 'Perhaps there is something else involved here'.

"Gabriel." The archangel looked up at the hunter, eyes locking on his. "We've got an angel that's been tailing us. Her name is Elizabeth. Well, Elizael." He corrected. "Yesterday she told me the same thing. That something else was going on here. Do you know who she is? Do you know what she was talking about?"

Gabriel broke eye contact and simply looked down at Castiel, whose eyes were now locked on his and replied that he didn't know. Dean knew off the bat that he was lying.

"Gabriel." He said a bit more forcefully, forcing him to look back at him. "This is important. If you know something─"

"I don't know anything Dean." He immediately cut off, trying to keep his own façade up. "Look, I can try and find out something but as for what's going on now, I can't do anything to reverse it." He swallowed hard, and Dean could have sworn that he was seeing guilt in his eyes. Gabriel was scared. He knew that whatever was happening was serious and not even he could do anything about it.

This threw Dean off. If the archangel couldn't stop something as simple as a fever or shakes, then what exactly were they dealing with?

Gabriel said nothing more and simply returned his hands onto Castiel's back.

"Gabriel, no." Castiel breathed, knowing that what he was about to attempt would affect him as well. He had felt it. He didn't want that to happen and even tried to move away but ended up causing more pain to surge up his spine, causing him to flinch, which caused Dean to put a gentle hand on his arm and stop him.

"Shut up Cas." Gabriel snapped softly as he pressed his hands down again. He knew healing wouldn't do a damn thing but at least he could dull the pain a little and force Cas to sleep it off.

Not even two seconds later Castiel was out and Gabriel was withdrawing his hands, the new vibrating sensations now cramping his joints. It was the most he could do at the moment until he could find another solution, hopefully something that was permanent or lasted longer. Until then he would have to make do with what he could and he carefully draped the blankets back over Castiel's now sleeping form.

Dean definitely caught it now. The shaking was only slight but he could swear that he saw the archangels fingers twisting in on themselves. As if he was suddenly suffering from arthritic hands. His skin had even paled a shade or two. Before Dean could even ask him about it Gabriel looked over to him and told him to take care of Castiel until he got back, and quickly disappeared in a flutter of wings.

* * *

><p>The banishing sigil that Sam Winchester had used on her had crippled her Grace and she now found herself in Death Valley, her limbs tumbling everywhere and body rolling as she landed until she finally came to a complete stop, falling on her back. She warily lifted her head and saw that she was only about a mile from the local highway. She carefully rolled over onto her side, wincing slightly as she shifted on all fours and struggled to push her legs underneath her, slowly but surely picking herself up. Her Grace had replenished just a couple minutes after but she could still felt the burn of the sigil pulsing against her Grace.<p>

She _hated_ those banishing sigils, and she began to curse the angel who even created them. She quickly dusted the sand and dirt off her jeans and jacket and quickly flew away, knowing that there was indeed something sinister behind all that was happening and knew where she could find some answers.

* * *

><p>It didn't take her long.<p>

She knew that most of her siblings were arrogant assholes but some were actually willing to help. Many unfortunately, had little or no information.

Until she found an angel named Remiel, the angel of judgment who led souls to their ultimate destinies in the afterlife. He informed to her a rumor he had heard about some big plan by Raphael, but didn't know any details. The only thing he knew was that he was collecting angels Grace's and that whoever didn't want to find themselves on the other side of his wrath were hiding from him. This she already knew but when she asked about Castiel's, Remiel looked at her surprisingly, wondering how she already knew about it.

"He does have it?" It was more an answer from her, than a question.

"Well yes. The rumor is that he sent Barakiel to retrieve it but, he only got some of it."

"I don't understand." Elizael shook her head and tranced herself in her thoughts for a moment, remembering the night of the extraction quite clearly in her mind. "How did Raphael take it from him then, if he only had a piece of it? There haven't been any other attacks on Castiel, at least not that I'm aware of." She whispered lastly, looking away from him.

He saw it written clear on her face. She had slipped while concentrating her efforts elsewhere and because of that Castiel now found himself in this situation. If he didn't know any better he would think that she was feeling guilty but he had also heard the rumors of her as well and knew it wasn't possible. Elizael never disobeyed, and when it came to emotions she was strict to keep them in check. Characteristics such as those were solely human personalities and were not something she affiliated herself with. In some ways, she was worse than Michael when it came to the rules.

"From what I've heard," He moved closer to whisper in her ear. "He used a spell."

This new piece of information sent a massive shiver down her spine. Not because of the fact he revealed to her but to what he wasn't telling her. He didn't need to tell her, because she already knew the answer. The fact that the archangel had willingly crossed the line simply to gain an upper hand in his war and potentially destroy himself as well, along with Castiel was unfathomable. Enochian magic was powerful, but use it the wrong way and it could be deadly. Use it the right way and it could be prosperous. It all depended really on how you looked at it.

"What spell?" She asked cautiously, a tinge of irritation in her voice.

"All I know, is that it's from the forbidden scrolls." He whispered.

She immediately felt herself growing irate but fought to push it down, leaving a low burn in her gut. "Thank you Remiel."

And with those last words she disappeared.

* * *

><p>By the time it was nightfall, Elizael chose to return to the Winchester home, hoping to see Castiel. But knowing that the brothers would most likely be watching him, she knew that she couldn't take the risk. She needed them to trust her and the only way to do that was to play on their terms. That didn't mean she couldn't still give them a piece of her mind.<p>

She could have easily slipped in unnoticed, hiding herself if need be but considering the circumstances this was the best way to go. Whether she liked it or not.

She carefully landed into Bobby Singer's study. She looked around the room for the hunter but turned around and saw the old drunk instead, sitting at his desk with several books opened in front of him.

Bobby simply looked up and stared at her, as chocolate brown eyes met his own and he immediately went to try and banish her with a blood sigil hidden behind a pile of books on the wall. But she raised her hand and stopped him from moving.

"Please. I'm not here to harm you." She said calmly, locking her eyes to him as to assure her truthfulness. "I need to speak to Dean Winchester."

"What'd you need Dean for?" He asked cautiously.

"I just want to talk to him, please." She spoke gently, still refusing to move her arm until she was sure he would not attempt to banish her.

She attempted to be careful this time, hoping not to upset anyone in the household. She carefully let him go and watched as he slowly walked upstairs, seemingly to achieve the man she had come to see. She saw him return just a couple minutes later, the older man apparently staying upstairs with the angel while Dean came to assess her visit.

"What do you want?" He asked fiercely, his clear disgust with her still quite evident in his tone.

"Well first thing. _Banishing_ _me_, was not necessary. Those actions didn't need to be taken." She answered forcefully, still holding her ground.

Dean rightfully did the same. "Well considering that I don't know who you are─"

"I told you who I am." She cut off.

"You gave me a name. That doesn't tell me anything." Dean corrected. Being a hunter and living a certain lifestyle meant that you had to know what you were dealing with and frankly, he had nothing on her. "And another thing, what's Gabriel gotta do with all this?" He slowly took a few steps towards her, trying to assert his dominance. It was a pretty pointless gesture against an angel, especially one who felt like Death himself could keel over in her presence, but it at least showed her his position. This was his territory and he was going to protect it, as well as everyone inside it.

"Gabriel?" Her brow furrowed slightly as if in confusion. "Gabriel was here?"

"Yeah, he was. And when I asked him about you, he tried to play dumb. Treated me like I was an idiot." Dean was nearly shouting this time, but only because she was making him uneasy. "Now what is it that you two are planning huh? What's your end game?"

"_Nothing!_" She shouted, clearly appalled at the hunters accusations. What on Earth made him think she was up to anything with the archangel? The idea alone was preposterous. "Gabriel and I are not acquainted in any way. He has his personal responsibilities and I have my own. I have nothing to do with that, that" She stopped, unsure of what to say about the archangel. She looks away and tries to figure out a word to actually call him but comes up with nothing and finds herself biting her bottom lip and looking down to the floor instead. She gives out a slow, frustrated sigh and closes her eyes, trying to control herself. She hadn't even been in the presence of the human two minutes and already she was losing her cool. She finally brought her eyes back up to his. "I have nothing to do with that degenerate. Whatever he was here for, it's none of my concern. And if you asked him about me, it's not his position to say."

"Okay." Dean answered calmly as he walked up to her, confirming his suspicions of Gabriel having lied to him. At least now he knew a reason for it, sort of. "If what you're telling me is true then I gotta say. Even with all the crap Gabe's put us through, me especially, I trust him a _hell_ of a lot more than I do you."

She simply frowned, her brow furrowing this time at the use of the archangels name being used so casually. What was with the hunters constantly changing the names of the angels?

"I suppose that's understandable," she said calmly. "You have spent more time around him than you have me."

Not that it was all fun and games with the archangel but still. He didn't trust Gabriel as far as he could throw him but considering how small he was, that did stand for something. Dean just didn't trust _her at all_. Another awkward moment passed before he broke the silence.

"This thing that's wrong with Cas," he started. "Can you fix it?"

She slightly tilted her head as she considered his question. "Excuse me?"

"Gabriel already tried and he looked like he was about to keel over after just a few seconds." Dean admitted, knowing that if someone as strong as an archangel could be affected that greatly, then Cas must have been in a pretty bad spot right now. "Now I don't know about you but from what I'm getting, I think you can actually pull it off. Or at least try."

He was almost pleading with her, his tone firm but lacking ferocity. He was _actually_ asking a favor of her even after the words they had just exchanged about trusting each other. She looked at him sharply before giving him an answer.

"It's not my problem." She replied flatly, her posture suddenly stiffening. "I have orders I need to follow."

"Orders?" Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Are you telling me that you have _exact_ orders to _not_ help Cas?"

"You don't need to know what my orders are regarding him."

"Bull." He said firmly, taking a step closer to her and invading her personal space. "When it comes to Cas, anyone who tries to screw with him, screws with us. So you're gonna give me some answers and you're gonna tell me right now what's happening with Cas. Starting with, where the hell is his Grace?"

He stared down at her threateningly, the urge to protect his friend completely blocking his sense to be cautious of her. She in turn did the same but instead tried to study the hunter, still not understanding his massive protectiveness over the angel.

"Raphael has it," she sneered at him. "And you should be thankful that I'm even telling you this."

"Raphael? _He_ has it?" Dean pursed his lips as he tried to control the rage now bubbling in his stomach. "Son of a bitch."

Dean began to pace, passing a hand over his mouth as he circled the room, trying to wrap his mind around the fact. The archangel had somehow managed to pull Cas' Grace out from under them and Dean couldn't begin to figure out how or why. The why he could guess but as to the how, he had to admit was above his pay grade.

"Cas doesn't deserve this," he whispered to himself. "I mean, this is what _angels_ do to their own? Ripping out what makes them who they are! That's _torture_!"

His last word made something suddenly snap inside of her. Something she had never felt before in her life and equaled almost as much as the power she was capable of throwing at him. It scared her, but it also enraged her and she found herself wanting to suddenly become violent. To suddenly _hate_ Dean Winchester.

"He brought this on himself the moment he met you." She said sharply, clearly taking him completely off guard and causing him to sharply look back at her in surprise, a blood red ferocity now in her eyes. Was she actually blaming _him_?

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Do you honestly think Castiel was ever meant to serve _you_? To go through everything he has because of you?" She slowly walked up to him, her steps becoming heavier and heavier as the anger on her face grew hotter and hotter. She was suddenly infuriated and Dean didn't know why. Why she had abruptly turned on him after hearing his words. "You call it torture," she mocked. "You think torture in _Hell_ is bad? You think _Alistair_ was creative? That _you_ were creative? Well let me tell you something. He had nothing, close to the imagination Zachariah did when he tried to re-teach Castiel his place." Dean found himself almost stepping back, the look in her eyes masking so much rage that stood behind them. "You say he was _ass-reamed_, you don't know the meaning of the word. You think what he did to you, giving you stomach cancer was cruel? Maybe you should see what he does to _angels_ who disobey."

Her last sentence came out chillingly, causing a shiver to race down his spine. Whatever he had done, what he had said had obviously upset her. So much so that she almost looked like she was on the verge of mutilation.

Dean simply stared at her, afraid to wonder what actions had been taken against his angel for her to react in such a way. The fear of when he first met her doubled at that moment at the thought. So much so that he could actually feel tears welling in the corners of his eyes and his breaths catching in his throat. This actually startled her but she refused to let the issue go from her mind. Dean bit on his bottom lip as he tried to control himself. She unexpectedly felt something herself but she quickly threw away the emotion and continued with her little rant. In her eyes, the hunter had been naïve to not even notice what had happened to him.

"There was a reason Castiel _walked_ away from you that night."

Dean said nothing. Instead he simply stared back at her, his anger towards her attitude now completely suppressing his fear of her.

"Well let me tell you something. Cas does what he wants. I don't _make_ him do anything. He doesn't serve _me_." Dean wanted to make that blatantly clear. "Cas isn't held back by anyone. Not you, not me and sure as Hell not the rules of Heaven."

"Rules are there for a reason," she retorted. "They need to be followed."

"You're the only one probably still playing by the rules. Did you ever think of that," he hollered. "Besides, your rules are crap to begin with."

She found herself growing more irritated at the hunters constant disrespect and wondered how such disloyalty towards the being that ordered his resurrection could be allowed to perform such misdeeds towards him. How could this man possibly be the Righteous One? She didn't see it, and began to question what exactly it was that her Father saw in this one human. Why was he so special that he was ordered to be pulled out of Hell and returned his soul? _What_ was it?

"The rules of God are just, and not to be questioned." She started feeling an uncomfortable pit in her stomach.

"Oh really? Are you sure it's God that's actually making them?"

Her face suddenly dropped along with her stomach now. She looked at him questioningly as if unable to believe the hunters accusations, his doubt. After everything that had happened and all the miracles he received he was still unable to accept the fact, the truth of God and it only had her feeling nauseous towards the man. She wanted to smite him, teach him a lesson that he would never forget but she remembered her true purpose here and knew that she had to resist.

"Think about it," he said. "What other possible reason could there be for everything that is happening now, huh? Give me one good reason why I should believe that he even gives a crap."

Even though she flat out refused to do so, her mind immediately wandered back to the night she was called up to Heaven. Just before the fight between the hunter and the demons and why she was met by no one in the garden. Why Joshua claimed not to have called her. It bothered her greatly, but such paths of thought led to doubt and she refused to fall under such circumstances. She pushed the issue aside and went back to glaring at Dean.

"There is _nothing_ to think about. My Father's rules are his rules and I will obey them. They are there to keep balance and order."

"Screw the balance. The world is in the toilet and if he truly wanted to fix things that he would intervene don't you think."

She simply retorted and he whispered under his breath that she had a bigger stick up her ass than Cas ever did. This caused her to look up at him square in the face. She didn't know how to react to such comments.

She suddenly felt that indescribable feeling in the pit of her stomach returning, swiftly getting the urge to unveil her wings just so she could watch his eyes burn from his skull. She found that she actually had to try and control herself, the sensations bombarding her throwing confusion and affirmation in their midst and Dean immediately noticed. He could only describe it as her being stuck, although deep down, he saw clear as day what she most likely did not.

Before she can even reply he walks away, and as he was heading for the stairs he looks back at her, his own fierce gaze rivaling her own. "By the way, it's called _anger_."

Her face immediately dropped and before she could even say anything he disappeared up the stairs, presumably to take back his position on the side of Castiel.

She can say nothing, her expression softening from an angry scowl to a questioning upset. She looks down at herself, wondering how something so trivial could bring out something so menacing. She questioned it, but only for a moment as she quickly tried to bury it and in the end simply brushed it aside. She knew that she had never felt such an emotion before and had never had anyone bring one out of her until now. She refused to let it happen again, knowing that it can interfere with her mission and quickly decided to limit any contact with Dean Winchester. He was a poison to her, a temptation, and one she knew she could not afford to accept.

She sighs in frustration and turns around towards the study, wanting to scream at his arrogance when she notices Bobby's work. Several of his books are opened, and every text she sees is in regards to the same subject; Enochian spells. She quickly reads through them and assumes that they are trying to figure out exactly how Castiel's Grace was stolen. It was a good place to start. She quickly glances around his collection, scanning the books scattered and piled throughout his desk and the shelves beside it.

They had already figured out one piece of the puzzle. She figured that the only thing she could do was help them with the second half.

She continued looking through the shelves, spotting several texts that she had never seen before and many that she once thought were only in Heaven's most holy libraries. She then spots what she is looking for and pulls a dusty, red leathered book with faded gold lettering from the shelf, shuffling through the crisp worn pages. After just a few glances she finds what she is looking for and slams the book on the desk, leaving it open on the page.

With that final task, she then quickly disappears.

* * *

><p>Bobby returns back downstairs as soon as they know she's gone. Sam joins him as well, knowing that Dean has Castiel covered and that with two people continuing to research for possible solutions, the better chance they had at finding one.<p>

Dean remained with Castiel, the angel soon waking up from his forced sleep and looking over at the hunter seated in front of him. Dean wanted to talk, and started off the conversation with telling him that his brothers are dicks. Not that they didn't already know that, but he simply wanted to remind him that sometimes even family couldn't be trusted. It was an unfortunate fact but it was also something they had to deal with.

As Dean continued trying to make Castiel as comfortable as possible he went about asking the question that had now plagued his mind for several minutes. It was the moment he never thought he would ask, but after now hearing it from an angel he just had to know. What _exactly_ had Castiel been put through when he was dragged into Heaven's prisons? What was it that they had done to him, so much so that the angel actually had to _walk_ away from him that night? It caused a knot to form in Dean's throat but he just had to know what it was, what suffering he had endured and what actions were taken, simply because he was being loyal to Dean.

Dean had to know in his mind, if it was truly worth it.

"Cas?" He whispered softly, slowly getting the angels eyes to meet his own. "What happened to you when you got dragged back to Heaven, the night you first tried to warn me about Lilith?"

His tone was soft and remorseful but there was something else that lay behind it, and Castiel saw at as clear as the freckles on the hunters face. He was saddened and deep down, he was scared. Castiel did not want to put him through that and chose not to answer.

"It doesn't matter Dean," he whispered. "What's done cannot be undone."

Dean felt the knot in his throat reach all the way down to his stomach, causing him to feel queasy and his heart to beat faster. He suddenly felt the urge to shed tears but immediately held them back, not wanting to reveal to his friend that he truly was scared to learn about his punishment. But just _had_ to know.

"Please Cas," he begged. "Just tell me. I _need_ you to tell me." The sad look in his eyes only matched the concerned ones in the angels and Dean knew that he was reaching out to him.

Castiel did not want to be brought back to those horrible memories but if they could get him to heal those spiritual wounds, if even just a little then maybe he should allow himself to be vulnerable. Even for just a moment. To trust the hunter with his secret, one that he never imagined having to hold.

"I need you to trust me Cas," he whispered, as he wrung out the washcloth from the bowl beside him and pressed it against the pulse point in his neck. The angel immediately gave a sigh of relief at the coolness it brought and after shutting his eyes for just a moment, opened them up to look back at Dean. "Please."

After another moment of unrelenting silence, the angel gave in, and slowly started to tell the hunter his story.

What Dean hears only breaks his heart. So much so that he found himself wishing that if he could go back to the moment he killed Zachariah. Just so he could stop himself. Just so he wouldn't have been so quick about it and could have made him feel the pain he put Cas through. And even more so. Dean never wanted to reopen those wounds of the torture he committed in Hell but sometimes those deadly thoughts of the past that were buried so deep in his mind just screamed at him when anyone hurt someone he loved. Now was just one of those moments, and those voices he thought he had shut down so long ago were suddenly growing very, very loud.

* * *

><p>Elizael chose to isolate herself after her conversation with Dean. No matter how hard she tried however, it continued to plague her mind nonstop and she received another visit from Gabriel just as she was about to leave. Without even turning around to face him she asked him how he was, knowing that if he had tried to help their brother that he may have been affected as well. She gets a simple reply from him that it wore off.<p>

She nods in slight contentment of his answer and he in return tells her that she is starting to feel doubt.

She quickly stops him, and corrects that she is not feeling anything. He in return implies that even if that is so, she _is_ feeling something and that maybe she should listen.

She says that she will never, because it interrupts the true purpose of angels and he asks her if she truly believes that.

She says that she does, firmly as ever, and he merely replies that that may be so but if someone as small as a mortal can cause her to question herself even for a second, imagine what else he can get her to do.

She finally stops right there, looking back at him as if in surprise to see that he is actually accusing her of such misdeed.

He doesn't much as flinch. He continues on and says that humans may have flaws but that sometimes they're right and if she cared to pay attention that she would realize that there is something more to them.

"Yes, humans are flawed but they try. Damn it, they try. Maybe if you care to pay attention you would realize that." Gabriel said.

"I've been looking over mankind for millennia Gabriel. You don't need to tell me this." She said, irritancy clear in her voice.

"Yeah I know you have, but have you been _seeing_?" Gabriel retorted, hoping that now was a good time to finally get her to understand what has been boggling her mind for all these months. "Like right now. You're hearing me but are you _listening_? I mean come on, you have four heads. Use one of them." Gabriel didn't even sound like he was joking and this only proved to annoy her. "There is something more to what is happening and you know it. Don't tell me that you don't see it."

Before she can even retort he asks her to intervene, knowing that she may possibly be the only one who can at this point since their ultimate savior is still nowhere to be found. In his eyes, she is the only one who can.

"You know besides watching, you could be helping us." Gabriel said obviously.

"By doing what?" She said flatly, her head shaking slightly as if wondering what that could possibly be.

"By doing _something_! Anything. Look you already know I don't have the juice to help him. I can't stop this!" Gabriel yelled in desperation, his own emotions now starting to take its toll on him. "I've tried, but I can't do it. You have to─"

"There is nothing I can do." She replied flatly yet again, her voice blank of any emotion or expression.

"Nothing you can─" Gabriel stopped, his anger suddenly flaring and quickly growing, causing a painful sting to emanate from his chest. "What are you talking about? You're the one who's high up on the food chain here." He bellows. "You don't even have superiors for God's sake and─"

"Gabriel!" She screamed, knowing that blasphemies coming from him told her how much he was upset, but she didn't care. It was still unacceptable in her eyes, and a human example that the angel should have never found himself following. "I _have_ a superior. And He is the one I take orders from. The _only_ one."

"Then ask him to help or something because there's no way Cas is gonna survive this. This, spell, this _crap_ that Raphael is doing. He got what he wanted already and now he's just toying with him for the shits and giggles of it. You can't tell me that _this_, this is what Dad wants."

An uncomfortable pause stood before them before she finally spoke. "I _have_ my orders."

"Your orders?" He mocks, locking his eyes on hers, even as she tried to keep them away and look down on the ground. "_**Screw**_…the orders!" His anger was now well reaching rage. "I mean, this is bullshit! You mean to tell me that He asked you to do this? To _not_ interfere. You already did that once remember?"

"That was different."

"Oh that was different." He mocks her again. "No it wasn't. You don't want to help him. That's what _this_ is." His rage continued to flare as she continued to remain as expressionless as ever. "No, you know what. I know _exactly_ what this is. This is a guilt trip. You feel guilty because you let someone play you, to call you back to Heaven so that you wouldn't be where you were supposed to," Gabriel was practically screaming now. "You don't want to take responsibility. So instead you take out your aggravation on Dean. Your _fault_ on Dean. Simply because the moment the two of them met everything in Cas' life changed! And _now_, Cas is dying and the only person _I_ see to blame is─"

"Gabriel!" She screams again and this time he stopped, as her own rage builds and she found herself having to breathe just to control what she was feeling. "It's not that I don't want to." She sighs as she attempts to control her frustration. "My orders are _clear_, and besides," She finally calms down and glares at him with her more than tiresome fierceness. "Whatever Raphael has done is beyond even me."

"Oh how convenient." Gabriel didn't even give himself a second to process that statement.

"Stop, just stop Gabriel. That is enough!" Her mounting rage disappears again as she calms herself. "There is nothing I can do to stop this, you must understand that. I will not question the will of our Father," She locks her eyes back on his, as the disgust she felt towards him caused her to bring out a snarling reply. "I will not question him, unlike _you_. "

Gabriel does nothing but glare at her, his own disgust for her quickly replacing anything he ever found decent in her. "You know what." He started, looking down at the ground for a moment and then back at her, a look of confusion clear on her face. "I'm starting to think that maybe _humans_ trump angels in Dad's eyes because they are the only ones capable of giving a shit about someone who isn't _family_. Maybe _that's_ why Dad gives such a crap about them." He stated simply. "Castiel is our brother, our _family_ and you act like you don't give a _damn_."

"I don't." She said plainly, slowly walking up to him as his face contorted into one of astonishment. "Castiel brought this upon himself when he decided to oppose Raphael and I will not intercede unless He commands it." Her voice remained as emotionless as ever, as if trying to tear out all the feelings that had found themselves deep inside her. "Since He has not done that I will not step in."

Gabriel could only look at her sadly, the idea of her lack of sympathy simply mind boggling. "You're heartless."

It caused a slight twitch to hit her, but still she ignored it.

"We're angels. We don't have hearts."

"No, we don't." Gabriel whispered, almost chuckling softly to himself as he looked down as well before meeting his eyes back with hers. "But at least I've got enough common sense to know that Cas doesn't deserve to die like this."

_There was that nickname again._ "Maybe he does."

Again, her voice held no expression and all of a sudden, Gabriel could literally feel his blood boiling. "I could smite you for that."

"You can try." She says flatly, but he makes no move to do so. "I do not give a damn, as you say because that emphasizes caring, which emphasizes feeling emotion. Emotions taint angels Gabriel. Castiel has been tainted and it's obvious that the same has happened to you."

Another uncomfortable moment passed before he spoke up.

"Yeah well, I'd rather be _tainted_, than be a spineless, cold-hearted _dick_." He takes away the last few feet that divide them and looks down at her, his eyes locking down at her face. "You think that I'm the one that's blind. That I'm the one who went down the wrong path, well let me tell you sister. If I could take it all back I _wouldn't_. Because sure, emotions cause angels to question authority, to have doubts, to ignore the rules laid out to us since we were created but you know what? At least I can _feel_." He snarls. "Think about it. Maybe then, you can understand what has been plaguing that mind of yours. That little seed you've got. The one _screaming_ for attention." He stopped, trying to read her deadpan expression, hoping that he was in some small degree helping her to see. "Maybe you should listen to it."

The only reaction he receives is a morbid look from her. "You know not of what you speak, _archangel_."

He doesn't even take the insult and simply continues to look down at her.

"_Yeah_…you know what, get back to me on that. You keep telling yourself that, keep telling that lie, and maybe you'll fool yourself enough to actually believe it."

He disappears, leaving her with more of a pit in her stomach which has caused an unexplainable feeling now in her chest. She mentally reminds herself that she cannot let herself be conned and that she does have a purpose. Her purpose is to serve God as he wishes.

The conversation soon leaves her mind all together.

* * *

><p>Back at the Singer home, Castiel has fallen back to sleep and it is now Sam who is watching over him as Dean heads downstairs to talk to Bobby.<p>

He informs the younger hunter that he found an old text on Enochian magic, which claims if a piece of an angels Grace is collected then there is a spell to draw the rest from its host. Dean in turn, informs him that Raphael is the one responsible, after hearing the news from Elizael. Bobby also figures out the second half of the spell that is harming Cas, slowly turning to the small book that the young woman left on his desk and shows it to Dean. From what he's been able to translate, it's a spell that goes by the name of 'Slow Death'.

"Case in point, Cas' Grace was stolen from him." Bobby said, hoping to sound as calm as possible for the sake of his surrogate son. "Whatever else this is, it's something that can't be stopped Dean." His look of sincerity hurts him but he knows that only hiding the fact will make Dean hurt even more. "I'm sorry son," he locks his eyes on his, hoping to bring some sort of small comfort to the young man even in this heartbreaking situation. "Cas is gonna die." What he didn't say but Dean hears clear as a bell, was that he needed to be ready soon.

Bobby's words nearly shatter him, the throb in his chest now an arrhythmia in his heart. Just when he thinks he is carrying this alone he looks back at Bobby and can swear that the older hunter is tearing as well, but is trying desperately to keep it in for his sake.

"Don't think I don't know what you're feeling Dean. Losing a son is just as hard as losing a friend."

Dean knows that and he also knows that death is inevitable at this point, and starts to contemplate what he can do, remembering that he sold his soul for Sam the last time he found himself in this position. Without even having to say it, Bobby knows what he is thinking and gets up from his chair to put a hand on his shoulder, as if to tell him that it's not what Castiel would want him to do.

Dean finds himself suddenly at a crossroads, unable to think of what to do next.

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Note:** Thank you everyone who reviewed last chapter. You guys are awesome for letting me achieve my goal and encouraging me to continue. Please keep it up. My angst from the finale is finally lifting but that's only because I am taking it out on my other story 'The Walls That Hold Can Set Us Free'. It is my version of a post 6.22 ending and why Cas did what he did. It makes me feel better since I am trying to redeem my favorite angel. I'm starting to like the shorter chapters here that I am bringing out (although this one obviously wasn't short like the last) but please let me know what you think. As always, please review. The more reviews I get the more encouraged I am and the more in scene I find myself. 8)


	14. Chapter 14

**Authors Note:** I'm sorry that this update has been late but I was still recovering a bit from my post 6.22 project 'The Walls That Hold Can Set Us Free' and just found myself stuck to it like velcro until it was finished. Now that it is over *tear* I can now fully focus here on my original project (although I have recently found myself engrossed in another but will try to not let it bombard me for now, Feathered Filly knows what I mean considering it's her fault lol) so without further ado, the continuation of this four part verse. Again, sorry for the deep angst this chapter may bring but the story is going to start getting incredibly heavy from here on in. Motivation for certain scenes are credited to Cerulea and her story 'Ready To Fall'. I had already had the idea in my head after looking through some research for an assignment, but figured it was another great way to promote work from another author here on this website which I just love to do. Enjoy. 8)

**Written:** 18 May

**Soundtrack: **War by Poets of the Fall, My Last Breath by Evanescence, Anthem of the Angels by Breaking Benjamin, Where Do We Draw the Line by Poets of the Fall

**Word Count: **5300

**Chapter 14**

Elizael continued to keep her distance from Dean but refused to cease her observations from afar. In her mentality, she still had a job to do and no matter how much the human affected her judgments she refused to let him change her outlooks, and decided on an appropriate course of action. She would stand by what her purpose was and even though there were obviously more pressing matters that she could have been attending to, she knew better than to ever question a direct order. She would do as what was requested of her and she in turn, would follow it to the end.

It wouldn't be much longer now.

Gabriel on the other hand was still trying to find a way out of this whole mess for Castiel and after still attempting to help him and nearly collapsing the last time he tried, he was starting to get if not a little desperate. After taking some time to recover, (although it was longer than he would have liked) he went in search of one angel he knew could give him some answers, and so he dove down to the deep depths of Hell where he was sure to find him.

Sure enough, there he was. The angel Azreal, a tall, patient, meticulous, soft-spoken, bleach blonde haired angel of death, whose job was to pick out souls whom he believed deserved a second chance at redemption. His purpose was to journey those whom he thought could faithfully pass through the gates of Heaven, but had unfortunately fallen into sin and had now found themselves trapped in the flames of the Pit.

How Gabriel hated this place.

As he suspected, Azreal was currently in the midst of another small collection of souls to take back with him when Gabriel appeared before him, looking a little tired and frail along the edges. His posture and façade made up for his appearance however, and Azreal couldn't help but wonder what purpose the archangel had to be down here of all places. But then again, if the rumors he had heard recently were true, he suspected that he may have already had an answer without even having to ask the question.

"Hello Gabriel." The angel didn't even bother to turn around and look at the archangel standing just feet behind him, but knew better than to not at least acknowledge him, even if he had abandoned his ties to the Host.

"Hello Azreal." Gabriel greeted back, not the least bit appalled by the angels lack of a face to face conversation. There were other pressing matters on the table currently to worry about such mediocre things.

"I assume your visit here is in regards to Castiel, are they not?" He slowly turned his head around to face him this time, the soft grey of his eyes reflected in the lightening striking in the skies above them. His neatly pressed black suit almost glistening from the soft cotton and silken threads that made it.

"So you've heard." Gabriel said flatly, not in the least bit surprised.

"It's my job to know when someone is about to meet their destiny soon. Our brethren included." He replied just as flatly, nothing but a small graceful tone trailing his words. "If you came to ask if Castiel is on the agenda, then the answer is yes." He slowly turned his head back around to concentrate on his current task.

Those were the words that Gabriel had been dreading to hear. "And there's no way you can stop it." It was a more a statement than a question, his head lowering slightly in disappointment.

"I am simply a messenger to our Lord, as you are." He spoke softly, kind like, as if trying to soothe an innocent soul ready to depart. "As much as I regret the fact, even I cannot question what our Father's purposes are and thus only require that I be told what mine is." Again, his voice held barely any trace of emotion except for the small tinge of graceful happiness and contentment. It felt almost like peace. "I am sorry Gabriel. But not even I can stop it."

"I didn't think you could," Gabriel admitted sadly. "But I just had to know." His voice sounded so small and almost broken, that it caused the blonde haired man to furrow his brow only slightly and turn around completely this time to face him.

"You're saddened by this." He said, almost as if he was somewhat bewildered at the idea but still remained as gentle as ever. "I understand your desperation Gabriel. I feel it all the time with those who are about to pass, and from those they leave behind. It never gets easier."

Gabriel said nothing and simply turned his head slightly as if to avoid his gaze, a small tear welling under his lids. Even Azreal had to feel a bit saddened at this but again, he did at some level understand the situation, being witness to it so many times. It always ended differently but never once did it not feel the same way.

"I truly am sorry."

"Yeah," Gabriel whispered, allowing a small sniff to escape from his nose as he looked up, trying to keep the tears from falling. "So am I."

He finally looked back down to face the angel who simply stared back at him in slight sorrow, truly hurt at what the archangel was currently going through. It couldn't have been easy for him, considering everything that had ever happened. When the time finally did come for Castiel to pass, then it would be he who would try to be there to guide him. Even as a former angel of the Lord, judgment unfortunately would still have to befall him.

Before another word could be spoken between them Gabriel disappeared, and the angel was suddenly left with a small hole in his heart for the sake of his brother. Gabriel was hurting, that much he could feel, and he hoped that when the time came for Castiel to say his final goodbyes, that Gabriel would be able to let go.

xxx

Castiel's condition had only gotten so much worse.

It had now been 4 days since the loss of his Grace and the hunters had found themselves having to keep the former angel from falling deeper and deeper into his ailment. Sam insisted that they take him to a hospital but Dean knew that nothing would be able to be done for him there and instead suggested that they keep Cas there, where he felt more comfortable. Bobby had to agree and Sam had no choice but to follow, his worry only growing more as time passed.

Dean had been trying to get the former angel to eat, considering that in his now mortal state he needed to take in sustenance to gain his strength, but again, the angel could only try so hard. Everything that Dean had tried to give him only upset his stomach more and he found Castiel throwing up the meals just minutes after ingesting them. It had come to the point that not only did Dean have to keep the trash can next to the bed in case he vomited again, but to just stop trying to feed him altogether, the action only causing more pain to wrack Castiel's already sensitive body.

He was getting desperate, and the hunter found his continuously racing mind plaguing him with thoughts that he never wanted to take place. Whatever little peace he could find to ease him were soon shattered as the angels condition grew progressively worse.

Castiel was finding the effort to stay conscious longer and longer almost an unbearable task, and the struggle it took only caused his grasp to slip away more and more. The brothers now had him resting on his back, slowly and carefully uncurling him to lie down straight. The position was incredibly uncomfortable for him but Dean insisted that it was necessary after his previously shocking temperature only grew to almost ghastly proportions. His complexion was bloodlessly pale, save for twin high points of color in his cheeks. The fever had finally reached its peak at 108 and the hunters found themselves having to apply ice to several of the angels pulse points. The packs were changed almost every hour and the moment Dean felt that they were no longer doing their job he would replace them with a fresh one, making sure that Castiel felt as comfortable as possible.

He was now replacing the two Castiel had on his arms and wrists, followed by the ones around his ankles and the small icy towels around his neck and over his forehead. There were even ice packs situated over the insides of elbows and behind his knees and Dean counted down to when he would have to replace those as well. They were doing a somewhat decent job at keeping the fever from rising but were unfortunately not doing jack squat to lower it, which was what he was trying to do. He recalled Gabriel saying that whatever they tried to do to help would only make things worse for him in the long run, but that didn't mean that Dean wasn't trying to find ways around that. He had stopped feeding Castiel medication after the first day, noticing that it also did nothing to help but still tried old fashioned remedies that seemed to work to a small degree. It didn't last very long however.

Castiel's physical pain was increasing to such sensitivity that he couldn't even bare to breathe, much less move. His breaths were labored and ragged enough, but Dean was starting to suspect that he couldn't breathe at all when they started to come in smaller and less frequently. That's when the hemorrhaging started.

Sam was the first to notice it as he was replacing the ice pack on his right wrist. Even though he was being as gentle as he could, he started to see the slight yellowing on the edges of the angels palm as it browned, quickly darkening as he brushed a smooth hand over it.

"Dean."

The older hunter looked up from his spot at the front of the bed where he was replacing the blankets over Castiel and turned his attention back to his brother. Sam carefully turned the angels hand around, only to reveal the small tinges of purple forming under his skin. He softly brushed his thumb under the sleeve of the angels dress shirt and saw that the bruising following beneath it as well.

"What the hell." Dean quickly walked around to stand next to his brother as he started to unbutton the sleeve and fold it up, only to reveal more and more dark bruising.

Sam was appalled at the color being showed to him but suspected that there would be more underneath and looked over at Dean, who still couldn't take his eyes off of it as he gently cupped the angels wrist and forearm over his fingers. Sam motioned for him to go to the other side of the bed and as soon as Dean did, Sam carefully placed both hands under the angels back after removing the two ice packs. Dean gently grasped onto his arm and the two of them managed to roll him back onto his left side. As he suspected, Sam started to see dark underneath the sweat soaked dress shirt and tells Dean, who starts to unbutton it. Even though they were being as careful as possible, they still managed to get Castiel to whimper in pain at the touch as they slipped his right arm from out of the clothing.

Sam gapes at the sight as the shirt is pulled down to reveal his back and Dean can't help but put a fist over his mouth to keep from gasping.

Castiel's back as well as the underside of his arms were completely covered in bruises, his blood starting to pool towards the bottom and spreading the colors of black, blue and purple over almost every bit of flesh. Even the slightest touch caused blood vessels to break and bruise his body and both brothers thought it best not to touch him anymore than necessary, which they had barely been doing (to begin with) anyway.

Sam was nervous at what he was seeing and Dean simply gritted his teeth and cursed to himself as Castiel started to show signs of struggling to inhale, his breaths coming in small gasps and sputtering coughs.

Sam immediately prayed for Gabriel as the coughing started to become almost violent and Dean attempted to calm Castiel as he struggled to draw in air.

Gabriel immediately showed up as a small trail of blood started to drip down Castiel's chin and he placed both his hands against Castiel's back, draining the blood quickly filling his lungs. Along with reducing the heavy bruising and relieving some of the pain still coursing through his body, Gabriel tried dulling everything as much as he could before finally putting Castiel out again, hoping that his little brother could get some real sleep though that was very much doubtful.

The bruising had reduced to a nasty stain of green, brown and yellow but at least it was nothing compared to what it had been just seconds before. Gabriel knew that he was pushing his limits every time he did this, but he also knew that it was necessary if he was going to delay the inevitable while he turned to try and find another solution. His thoughts didn't last long however as he felt his body going limp and a small trail of blood trailing down his nose. His breaths were coming in shorter and his skin had drained to an unhealthy white. Before he could even say anything he felt himself falling backwards and the last thing he knew was Sam catching him and Dean calling out his name before the darkness overtook him.

Gabriel found himself waking up on the opposite bed just 2 hours later and the brothers asking if her was alright. He of course lied, saying that he was fine but in all honesty, his insides felt like they had been ribboned and his body sloppy. It was like having the worst case of the flu in the history of mankind but Gabriel knew that he couldn't bitch, not after everything Cas was going through.

He immediately flew up to Heaven to try and speed up his recovery and barely made it there, but managed to do so and took the time he needed before setting out again.

He had to do something to stop this, and if he couldn't find someone to help him then he would go to the source and beat it out of him instead. The problem was that he didn't know where Raphael was and unfortunately for him, his followers didn't seem to know either, or so they claimed. Gabriel didn't have time to ask if they were lying and quickly pressed on until he did find something. No matter how long it took, he was going to find something, _anything_, even if that meant he would have to find God to do it.

xxx

The internal bleeding started soon afterwards. Castiel's body had been ridden with high fever for nearly five days now, but was suddenly starting to slip into shock as his body began to shut down. The brothers found themselves having to pile even more blankets on him to reduce the shivering as his body temperature plummeted and instead of ice packs, were now having to use hot water bottles to warm him. Castiel was seesawing and the hunters went to the ends of the earth so to speak to try and keep him stable. It wasn't easy, but they tried their hardest not to give up on a seemingly pointless effort. It didn't matter if the inevitable was drawing nearer. Castiel still appreciated their efforts and tried in return to keep himself fighting. But again, the angel could only do so much before he too had to call it quits.

Dean was gently wiping away the blood from Castiel's face with a wet washcloth as he experienced yet another nosebleed. This one had been heavier than the last one and Dean grew almost scared at the amount the angel was losing. It downright shocked him and Dean found himself having to change the towels almost each and every time.

That's when Castiel started to talk, telling his friend something he never dreamed he'd hear after being quiet all these days. Castiel had been in so much pain, especially throughout the last few hours that he never even spoke past the first day and Dean found himself growing scared.

Castiel started to apologize to him, claiming that he was sorry for failing Dean. The hunter almost found himself wanting to slap him for saying such stupidities but instead felt almost saddened at the angels sad and broken words. He was getting desperate as each breath he tried took more effort than the last, and Dean tried his best to calm him. Castiel was giving up but Dean insisted that he not, promising him that he was going to do whatever it took to make everything alright. To fix it. It's then that he reminded him of the promise they made to each other almost a year ago and says that he is still going to keep it, but that he needs him to do the same.

"I told you that I was going to be there for you remember. Now I need you to trust me okay. I don't want to hear you giving up!"

Dean found his anger rising from his chest but tried to stay as calm as possible, not wanting to upset the angel anymore than he already was. Castiel took some time to try and get over the pain now ringing in his chest and barely nodded his head in agreement. He feels himself wanting to slip back out of consciousness again, but is suddenly cut off by a hacking cough and Dean immediately smells the metal now pluming the air. Without even taking into consideration the pain it would most likely cause him, Dean quickly grasps onto the angels arm and turns him back on his side as a massive amount of blood now stained the towel supporting the angels sweating head.

The dark crimson flowed from his mouth like a steady stream and Dean found himself having to coax the angel as the action only caused his breaths to wheeze in painful gasps. He carefully supported the back of his neck as the spell started to die down but Castiel still managed to whimper in pain from the stinging now aching his lungs and cramping his stomach. The angel was now starting to cry at every little ache and spasm that wracked his body and Dean found his hand slide down to his upper back as he gently started to pass soothing circles over it, trying to get him to relax. Even if it caused him pain and his body to bruise even more, Castiel didn't care. He found the touch almost bearable in the spot where his wings used to be and let the hunter do what he felt was necessary. It almost felt strange to him, the hunters calloused hands brushing over the bare flesh of his back, the small hairs that covered it feeling light and ticklish from the touch as Dean shushed him to relax.

His mind felt so numb right now, but he tried his hardest to focus on that one sensation as Deans other hand found its way to the left side of his face, trying to get him to steady his breathing. Every inhale still felt raspy and strained but after a little effort and a lot of coaxing, Dean managed to get Castiel to keep a steady rhythm, even with the persistent coughing.

Dean tried to assure him that everything would be okay and that he wasn't alone, as Castiel started to feel the end drawing nearer. He refused to voice it however as he knew that it would only anger and eventually upset the hunter trying so hard to care for him. He wouldn't dare say it, but deep down, he felt it. He was starting to feel hopeless, and began to wonder if everything he had ever done to try and right Heaven was even worth it anymore. He even decided to say it, all the efforts he put into the war had been fruitless and amounted to nothing, but Dean immediately stopped him before he could say anything else.

"I already told you Cas," he started, trying almost desperately to keep all his bottled emotions in check at the angels seemingly sudden surrender. "Everything you have ever done was for something that was worth it and you have _never_ been alone. I have told you that time and time again and I have even proved it. Why do you keep questioning it?"

Castiel wanted to answer, but found himself coughing up more blood as he opened his mouth to speak. The amount was much smaller than the previous, but it still hurt his chest and throat as Dean wiped it away the blood staining his mouth and even removed the towel from under his head, carefully replacing it with a new one.

"I have always been there, and I always be there." Dean said, his determination almost bleeding through his voice. "I have told you before and I will say it again, you will never, _ever_ be alone Cas. No matter what, if you need my help with anything, _anything_, then you know that you can come to me. You _know_ that." Dean said somewhat forcefully, the feeling welling up inside threatening to tear through the seams. "Swear to me that you're not gonna question that again."

Castiel could only look at him as dull blue eyes met sharp green ones. He didn't know what to say.

"Swear it."

Dean refused to accept anything else other than a yes from him and after a moment of heavy silence, Castiel finally gave in and whispered a soft 'I swear'. Dean nodded his head softly as Castiel finally let go of consciousness and closed his eyes, the hunter giving a silent thank you to whoever, relieved that the angel wasn't really seeing what the hunter was hiding.

Dean was finding himself at the breaking point, a moment of weakness falling prey to him as the realization that Cas may not make it out alive this time hits him almost full force. The angel looked a mess as Dean mentally assured himself that he would not let the angel call it quits.

He found it hard however, when he too found himself losing faith.

xxx

Gabriel showed up just shortly after, and nearly cringed at the amount of blood he was seeing on the towels that Dean was bagging. He knew what it meant however and before he could say anything to him he spotted an elderly looking man bending over the side of Cas' bed, looking down at the angel through dark lifeless orbs.

Gabriel knew immediately what it was and stepped forward to stop him as he reached out his hand to touch the man laying there.

"Leave." He said simply, the hidden fire of his rage showing clearly through his amber orbs.

Dean just looked at him questioningly, almost as if the archangel had completely lost his mind.

"Did you not hear me?" Gabriel snapped, the man refusing to move away from the person he was here to take. "Tell your boss to stop sending you ass clowns here. Leave, _now_." Again, the man did not move and Dean continued to watch on, almost scared at the alpha position Gabriel was now displaying. Whatever it was he was seeing, Dean obviously could not. "I said LEAVE!" This time the true voice of the archangel came out and Dean found himself having to double over and cover his ears as the windows rattled and the room shook, the unseen apparition finally disappearing.

After just a few moments, everything finally calmed and Dean got up from his crouched position to look up at the archangel as he turned around to look at the hunter.

"What was that? Another angel?" Dean asked, silently praying that its presence wouldn't mean something bad.

"Worse." Gabriel replied, almost sadly. "Reaper."

Dean felt his blood going cold and could only breathe a sigh of frustration. The impact of the sound had Sam and Bobby shooting up the stairs and wondering what was going on, and Dean regrettably explained.

Bobby actually knew of a spell in which to repel reapers and immediately set to work on it.

Sam however needed a small break from all the research the two of them had been doing and after a few minutes convinced Gabriel to walk downstairs with him to talk. The two found themselves out in the junkyard and Sam decided to just get right down to it.

"Dean isn't going to give up. I hope you know that."

"I know he won't. And I don't expect him to." Gabriel's voice sounds almost sad and broken and Sam hears clearly what the angel doesn't say.

_I don't want him to_.

After drawing the seal and casting the spell around Castiel's bed to prevent any reaper from entering, Dean finds himself breathing a little easier but finds his hope to still be faltering. He says nothing however and after a while can start to feel the gloomy presence of a reaper in the room with them. It is standing in the corner, unable to get any closer to the former angel even if it tried, and waits patiently for the inevitable moment to arrive.

Castiel does not even wake for the next two days and Dean counts down as he watches the body of the angel growing weaker and weaker with each passing hour. No matter what they do or how much they try, his life is slipping and Dean is being showed that it's almost over.

Dean is physically and mentally exhausted and unfortunately has found himself at the point of fighting to keep himself strong, to keeping himself sane. Castiel's soft ramblings are the only thing keeping him from losing his mind altogether. As long as he hears the angels voice, he knows that he's still there, even if it pathetic and weak.

Each and every time the angel whispers for his Father or for Dean or for Sam or even for Gabriel, the hunter is there to assure him that everything is going to be alright and that he's not going to let him give up. If you don't give up on me I won't give up on you, he says continuously both to him and himself, almost like a broken record.

Dean doesn't know which of the two he's trying to convince.

…

On the night of the seventh day Elizael finally appears, visiting Castiel in his subconscious and deciding to confront all of her questions once and for all. The angel is dreaming, this much he can tell, as her presence almost electrifies the empty atmosphere around him, making it feel almost like an ominous glow.

"Hello Castiel."

He turns around to confront her, looking over to the young woman standing feet before him and wondering what intentions she has towards him and the Winchesters. He knows that he has met her once before, maybe even twice, but his mind is so riddled in his illness that he is having trouble trying to figure out where.

"Castiel," she starts, wondering what her own intentions are at that moment and even questioning herself whether she should even be there. "Please, you have no obligation to him. Dean Winchester has no reason to keep you here."

Her voice is soft and only the least bit pleading, almost as if she was trying to convince not only him but herself at the words she was speaking.

"He's not keeping me here." Castiel replied honestly. "I chose to stay."

"Why?" She asked, a tinge of frustration bleeding through her words. "I understand that fate brought you two together so that you would be the one to raise him from perdition but that is over." She said, still trying to understand what it was that kept the two of them almost inseparable. "He is no longer your charge Castiel. You need to let him go. Look what has happened to you ever since then. Your fates may have been intertwined but they are not anymore. It's time to move on. You need to let him go."

Whatever thoughts she had of gently trying to convince the angel were now gone, and she now finds herself almost demanding that the angel follow what she says. It is more than likely not the best approach but at this point, she is unsure of what to do.

What the former angel says next only causes her to doubt both the effect of what she is saying, as well as other things that she is not.

"Sometimes even the worst fates bestowed upon us are easier to face when we have someone to hold us up and keep us standing, when we ourselves no longer have the strength to do so on our own." Castiel voiced softly, knowing that the end result of everything that was happening would inevitably lead to one conclusion that he was not yet prepared to face. "I may not have the Host of Heaven behind me anymore…but I have Dean. That is why I choose to stay with him."

She can only pause as she listens to what her brother is confessing.

"Castiel." She almost looks like she wants to tear but refuses to, the stinging water collecting behind her eyes quickly pulling back. "There is a line here, and you've crossed it. And now─" She stops herself, unable to continue on with that sentence as the sad look on his face has her feeling an uncomfortable pressure in her chest, coming from her very Grace.

He simply lowers his head, almost as if in shame but in deep mournful sadness as well. She wants so badly to ignore it but is finding it harder and harder to do so. Whatever this feeling was that was welling up inside her, it was causing her to question everything, _everything_, and she knew that it was a sign of an unavoidable demise. She bites down at her lip as she turns her head to look away, the look on Castiel's face only causing her guilt to pull at her.

"You need to tell him goodbye." She whispers, as she turns her head back to face him but refusing to look at him directly, avoiding his gaze. "Please Castiel, don't make this any harder than it already is."

She whispered so softly that it was barely audible and with those final words, she disappeared and left the angel alone.

The short conversation left her feeling so empty all of a sudden, that Elizael was starting to feel the first trickles of an all too familiar emotion that she never thought she'd experience again. It pained her, but she was in no way ready to admit it.

It's then that she begins to wonder where the lines actually stop until they are finally crossed. Not just the line that Castiel had, but also the one she knows that she is starting to as well.

For the first time in her long life, Elizael is starting to feel scared, and maybe, just maybe, she is starting to feel something else…

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Note: **My absolute favorite tracks for this chapter were 'War' for the conversation between Cas and Dean, and 'Where Do We Draw the Line', where the character Elizael is starting to listen to what's been buried inside her head for a while now. When I first heard War I just had to use it here to represent Cas' position on everything he has been through in the war in Heaven and loved it. The moment I heard Where Do We Draw the Line, I immediately thought of where Elizael is finding herself currently and the struggle she is suddenly having with not only her purpose (obviously hasn't been revealed yet though clues have been literally thrown at you) but the relationship she has noticed between Castiel and Dean. If you listen to the mood then it feels like a big cloud just hovering over you (5 bucks to who can guess what that is lol) and I found it matched _perfectly_. Again, reviews make me happy so please start typing away. Really felt motivated for last chapter after all the responses I got considering it started off as 2500 words and wound up being 8500! Thank you again. 8)


	15. Chapter 15

**Authors Note:** Okay so this is a throw-back to Chapter 1 of the story so now we have come full circle and thus will continue on from here. Sorry if Dean may seem a little OOC to some of you in this chapter considering it centers solely on him but he is at his breaking point which is why I ultimately took this road. Less angst here but still plenty of drama. Please enjoy since there will only be 4, maybe 5 chapters left until this book is closed. Enjoy. 8)

**Written: **19 May

**Soundtrack: **Untitled by Simple Plan, When I'm Gone by Three Doors Down, My Immortal by Evanescence, Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas, Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World, Down by Jason Walker

**Word Count: **2900+

**Chapter 15**

…The night just seemed to drag and drag.

After reaching out to every possible source Gabriel could think of, he ultimately found himself getting nothing for his efforts and wound up finding himself back at the Singer home. After a short conversation with Dean, the archangel managed to convince the older hunter to take a break and Dean found himself reluctantly peeling away from Castiel after several hours of hearing nothing from him. He really didn't want to, afraid that the moment he left his side would be the moment when Cas would finally stop fighting and it emotionally drained him.

Sam promised him that it would be fine, but in Sam's way of not having to actually voice anything, he was also assuring Dean that he didn't need to be afraid. Even though Castiel looked anything but fine, his flesh now a pale and sickly gray, for added measure the younger hunter chose to stay behind with Gabriel and watch over the angel.

Even though he still felt reluctant, Dean finally felt safe enough to leave him, if only for a little while, and slowly headed downstairs to head to the kitchen and get something to numb his already sluggish mind.

Bobby had expected this much, the old drunk still stuck to his desk and trying to find anything to help them as he had done for the past several days. He had barely peeled away from the research and had even found a few promising leads, but the moment Dean stepped into the kitchen and reached the refrigerator to grab a drink, he stopped. He looked up the second he saw the young man stall and was a bit surprised to see him still standing there after a moment, not making a single move other than to place his fists down on the counter.

Bobby watched him carefully, wondering what must have been going through his mind right now and recalled that the last time he looked this way, was right after his father died. Dean had been hurting, but never once did he dare to show it. But it wasn't like he didn't know it. He could read the young man like a book, and he knew that Dean knew that. He saw it clear as day and deep down, Bobby knew that the same was happening now.

Before he could get up and walk over to him to try and console him in any way possible, Dean quickly lifted his head and turned around, suddenly walking out of the kitchen towards the foyer and out of the house altogether, nearly slamming the door behind him. Bobby could only stay there standing, the idea of trying to talk to Dean quickly fading at the look he caught on the younger hunters face. It told him everything he needed to know, even what the young man was hiding underneath it.

It was like John all over again.

…

Dean didn't walk very far, his quick and heavy steps leaving nothing but dust trails as he reached the Impala parked out by the entranceway. It was far enough away from the house for Dean to scream out and barely be heard but still close enough to hear if someone called out to him. He didn't really care at this point about it though.

He was just done with it all.

He simply let himself reach around to the driver's side of the car and slowly let his body rest against it, this thoughts immediately spinning around everything that had occurred in the past week. His hopes, his fears, all of them were now juggling in his brain and no matter how much effort he put to try and take them out, he simply couldn't. That final inevitable thought suddenly crossed his mind, and every mental, emotional and physiological wall Dean had ever put up in his 31 years of life…came completely crashing down in that one single moment.

For reasons he couldn't understand, he suddenly found himself freely weeping and then sobbing, the hopelessness of the situation starting to creep up on him in every way possible.

Dean just didn't care. He found himself sinking to the floor as the pain of everything he had ever endured since he was 4 years old consumed every bit of strength that he had left.

It just wasn't fair.

Dean had lost so much already. His mother, his father, even his brother and Bobby a couple of times, and now it seemed his best friend would soon join that list, permanently this time. It just didn't seem to make sense to him anymore. He was broken, and whatever small piece of wall that was keeping him together this past week had now completely crumbled and fallen apart. He was now at the point of desperation, at the eleventh hour as Castiel had once noted it, and Dean couldn't take it.

He fell completely to the ground, his back hitting the front door of the Impala and arms falling to his knee and side, as he simply started to cry.

He just couldn't care anymore. He was always expected to be the strong one, the righteous one, the one whom everyone looked towards and got their strength from whenever times looked too bleak to do much else. That wasn't the Dean he knew was sitting there right now. This Dean was broken, lifeless and shattered, and in such absolute shambles that he was sure he would not be able to get back up. Every emotion he had ever held back in his life came flooding over him, and he just felt so used up and let down…

It took several minutes for the spell to pass but after just another moment of allowing himself to take back control, Dean slowly got up from the ground, using the car to support his suddenly shaking legs and walked over to the open field in front of the yard. His thoughts continued to swirl and he begin to question it all, the injustice, the abandonment, the sacrifices and asks himself, how have they not been enough? After everything he had ever done and every step he had ever taken, Dean still wasn't allowed to keep one good thing he had ever had simply for himself. This was why he never made friends, never had relationships, never got too close. Because in some way they would always be taken from him and frankly he had had enough of simply just avoiding them. He had allowed himself to finally give in just once, just _this_ once, and now it had left him in this moment. Staring up at the stars, wondering what it could all mean and asking how it could all end like this.

After everything he had been through, after all the times they had fought and after all the sacrifices he had endured it still wasn't _enough_?

It just wasn't right, and it just wasn't fair. There was no way it could be. Why did he have to go through this time and time again after he had had more than his fair share of it? What was the reason? The purpose? What was his crime that he deserved to be punished so severely and at every moment of happiness and small shred of peace? Did he not deserve that for some reason? Sure there were the obvious answers but still, it didn't seem like a good enough excuse to have to test him time and time again.

What was Cas' crime for that matter? Why did he deserve to die like this after everything _he_ had endured? After everything _he_ had fought for to right Heaven and the house of his Father? Why was he being punished? _**Why**_**?**

Dean tried so hard to understand the rhyme, the reason behind it all but found it so difficult to do when he could not find himself close to an answer. Or any answer. The only one he could find was that everyone who had ever brought something good into his life got taken away from it. Why that was, he didn't know, but Dean wanted an answer. Needed an answer. If not for him then for those he could answer for.

His parents, Ellen, Jo, Ash, everybody who had ever left this world because of him and would ever leave this world because of him. Dean just wanted to give them some form of reason, even if it was a dense one. He didn't know why he was suddenly trailing behind these thoughts, but at this point in the game, he figured that it was about time he did so. If not now, then when?

"I used to believe in you. And this, this is what you do? This is how you let things go?" Dean cried out, the want to scream at the top of his lungs hanging deeply behind his mind.

He had sworn to himself when this all began that he wouldn't give up, couldn't give in, and had even sworn Cas to do the same, even when he himself wasn't sure he could. He felt like such a hypocrite at that moment and no matter what he did he couldn't find another reason to keep going. Every effort he had put forth to right it all had virtually been for nothing and Dean just wanted to curl in on himself. But again, there had to be a reason.

He gave out a deep breath as more tears slowly slid down his face, and his desperation finally had him looking up. There was nothing more he could do at this point. Everything had lead up to this, and Dean figured that if nothing else worked, then maybe this just would. He passed a hand through his hair as he looked up again and started to pray, hoping to God that someone would be listening, that someone could answer for him.

He shouted to the skies, claiming that the angel had given everything he had ever asked for, everything he had ever had and asked how what was happening to him now was even justified. His anger was building but it was nothing compared to the deep sadness he felt beside it. Dean just couldn't understand. After everything that had occurred, Castiel still believed in his Father when everyone else had turned their backs on him and still he was dealt the most vicious of blows.

Dean just felt so lost and defeated. He was now a broken man and the agony that engulfed his entire form surpassed even those he had experienced in Hell. Dean never thought he could feel that way ever again, but to his surprise he did.

He had almost forgotten what it felt like.

It was this one simple feeling that now found him standing there, looking up for spiritual guidance from the one person he thought could give him any form of blessed harmony, if even just a little.

The spiritual wounds he had endured were quickly becoming too much to bear. Dean had used up so much of his strength to just keep fighting that it had him wondering how he was even still able to believe that there was some form of light at the end of the tunnel. Not that he hadn't seen it before, but this time there was nothing to even look through in his eyes. That was the hard part.

His heart simply felt numb as he took in one last deep, shaking breath and let himself succumb to his pain, allowing himself to kneel one leg down to the ground and bring his hands together in front of him. Dean had never been a praying man, not _ever_, but figured that now was as good a time as any. He just wanted someone to answer.

He pleaded, prayed, asking for some form of redemption and salvation for the angel. It didn't matter in what form he received it, just so long as he did.

"God…If you can hear me, I'm begging you, please…" Dean whimpered as he released the breath he didn't even realize he had been holding. "Please help me. Tell me what to do…"

He could feel the tickling burn of the scarred hand print on his arm pulsate as he searched for the final words of his prayer, subconsciously reaching up and placing his hand over that same spot as his other hand settled over the warmth in his heart. All he wanted was _someone_ to listen. He would take anything at this point, even a miracle.

"Please, you had him save me. Let me…let me save him."

His words rang through the skies like a pulsing echo, the deep emotion behind them almost bringing life to them.

Elizael had been watching the entire time, had been since the beginning, and saw the desperation in the hunters heart as clear as she did his soul. As she continued to hear the words that escaped his lips and even bled from his very spirit, she slowly started to realize the pain that he was in, and begins to wonder how he is even able to hold it all. It was a gift that she almost envied mortals for, especially from him. The Righteous Man.

She began to wonder herself how she had been able to do the same and hide it for so long.

She merely sighs at this realization.

Orders were given. Rules had been laid out. Even lines had been made and her judgment told her that she was to follow, to obey what God had commanded of her to do. But even so, she feels the faintest tug in her chest and again begins to question it all. She couldn't understand the sudden sensation she was feeling but as she continues to hear Dean's pleas the sensation only grows stronger and she finds herself doubting her purpose.

Doubt. That's what the feeling had been and it worried her greatly, for doubt lead down a dangerous road and it was one she couldn't afford to follow. Not again.

She tries to mentally remind herself that she _must_ obey. Whatever the cost, she had orders to fall back on and they had to be completed.

These thoughts are quickly destroyed.

The sensation comes out of nowhere, not new but definitely different. She senses a light stinging behind her eyes and just as she is trying to understand the feeling she feels the strange wetness falling down her cheeks. She frowns, softly placing her hand under her right eye and draws it back, the wetness now apparent on her fingertips as another tear falls on her palm.

She is crying, and cannot understand why.

As an angel she had never shed tears before, but as she continues to listen to the words coming from the hunter she slowly comes to the realization that he is in fact the cause. That he is the one responsible. She wants to blame it on the vessel, but isn't sure that she can.

This only proved to her what she already knew, that Dean Winchester affected her judgment, and he did so greatly. She is openly crying tears now, and is surprised to find that she cannot control them or get them to stop. It almost baffles her.

She looks back at Dean who is still praying, and she begins to feel the surge of faith radiating through his soul for the wellbeing of the angel. _His_ angel, she realizes.

A million thoughts suddenly begin to ring through her head; the righteousness, the injustice, the turmoil, none of it is necessary. None of it is right. Whatever purposes were meant for everything that was happening suddenly made no sense to her and she is almost shocked at the ideas now bombarding her.

She looks up to the Heavens and then back down as if in surprised thought. She realizes that she is feeling emotions, emotions that are not right for an angel to feel. _This __**isn't**__ right_. Humans were always considered to be such flawed creatures who possessed no good, but she is realizing that they do have a purpose and are capable of great things. She refuses to act on it though.

She cannot do so as an angel of the Lord. She simply cannot.

She quickly tries to wipe them away as more threaten to come down, the sky now beginning to cloud above her and hiding the stars that glittered the night. She looks back down, seeing Dean still kneeling there and decides to confront him once and for all. This was her last chance to finally get the answers she so desperately desired, and even if she feared what she may very well hear from him she didn't care. At this point, she just had to know.

She flies down to Dean, who feels the rush of wings behind him and quickly gets up to turn around. In all honestly, this was the last person he expected to see right now. He's almost cautious as he takes in her appearance, her posture unlike anything he had ever seen her carry before. She seemed almost uncomfortable and maybe even a little afraid.

Whatever this was, Dean found himself strangely wondering about it, and if that wasn't enough already, he may have just been caring too.

"Hello Dean."

If this was suddenly the answer to his prayers, then Dean really didn't know what to do at this point.

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Note:** Tomorrow is my birthday so I am hoping to have next chapter up by then considering it is of great importance. After that I'll be working nonstop for 4 days straight and will have no time to work on this story. As always, reviews have me leaping for joy and make me happy so please start typing away. 8)


	16. Chapter 16

**Authors Note:** This is one of my absolute favorite chapters. I loved writing it, especially since this was the day of the season 6 finale and I started it off with watching 'Swan Song'. Let's just say I was in a _holy crap_ kind of mood that ended up making me feel a little heart-broken. If some things may seem a little rushed in some places, remember there are 3 other parts to this verse. Every question will be answered and stories in the background will be discussed. Just have some patience with me while they come out. Thank you again to everyone who has still been around for the ride. 8)

**Written:** 20 May

**Soundtrack: **Going Under by Evanescence, It Ends Tonight by The All-American Rejects, Someday by Rob Thomas

**Word Count: **4100+

**Chapter 16**

If Dean was going to start being honest, this was the last person he wanted to see. He was still peeved at her from the last time he saw her and frankly, he could care less what she had to say to him now. Whether he should just start walking away or actually stay and chat was beyond him right now, but there was something about her presence there that him questioning that idea. There was just something about the way she looked, the way she was putting herself off, and Dean couldn't help but wonder what it was. There was just something, _different_.

"Let me guess, God thought Cas was getting too close so He decided to send you to set him straight. So that I was no longer his charge." Dean retorted, again recalling the conversation they had had before. "What, did the _angels_ think he was getting too close? Is that it?"

"That's not it Dean."

"Then what the hell is it huh? What other reason would they have to bring you in? For _God_, to bring you in?" He was nearly shouting at this point and he hadn't even been in her presence more than thirty seconds. It was kind of disheartening. "Why don't you fuckin' tell me and just get it over with already."

"You're not my charge Dean, you never were." She replies quickly yet softly, almost sadly he notes.

It causes him to pause for just a moment before he continued. "Then what the hell _are_ you doing here?"

"It's true." She says slowly, almost shamefully in a sense. Dean found himself growing more confused by the second. "I _was_ sent here to look after someone. To look after him, to guide him…to make sure that he was ready when the time came. But it wasn't you. It was never you."

Dean was really confused now. If _he_ hadn't been the purpose for her hanging around so much, then who was it? "What are you saying?"

She hesitated for just a moment before answering, her bottom lip being bitten on by her teeth. It was unfortunately a habit she had picked up on while down here on Earth and one she couldn't seem to get rid of. "It's Cas."

Her voice is soft, almost silent at this point and it's in those two little words that Dean notices a whole new outlook in her, if even just for a split second. Not only did she call the angel by his nickname (which she had never done) but she had also not referred to him in the past sense. She seemed a bit taken aback when she realized the same but Dean still noticed that her wall, even if it had been just a crack was slowly revealing what truly was inside her, even as she fought to close it back up.

It's also at that moment that he realizes that she only managed to locate Dean and Sam because she found them through Castiel.

"Cas." He repeats softly, almost dauntingly as if he was surprised that he had never even noticed it. "So it is true. No angel in all creation can find us because of the sigils Cas carved into our ribs." He allows the fact to dawn on him as his tone softens. "You kept watch over _Cas_."

"I told you. I was never looking after you. My responsibility was _never_ you. It's always been…Castiel." She lowered her head a bit as she looked away and then returned her gaze back at him.

Dean couldn't help but feel a little annoyed right now, considering the circumstances. "Yeah," he snorted. "You did a _hell_ of a job." He mocked her, obviously not impressed with her performance.

She looks away as if in shame and it's then that his face falls as if he just now realizes something. Something he never thought he'd see but just so suddenly dawned on him. It almost felt like being hit be a meteor if there in fact ever was such a thing, and Dean found himself almost gaping.

She swipes a hand across her face in frustration and then rubs the back of her neck, still refusing to look at him.

Dean lets her last word ring in his ears. _Castiel._ It's unbelievable, the similarity between the two. The _actuality_ of the two. Dean comes to realize that the voice he had heard in his dreams all those months ago, to the moment when Castiel first disappeared and now were one and the same. Even in his dream of Isabelle's death, seeing the light which he quickly realizes must have been Elizael's true form, still has him feeling overwhelmed. It was the same as the dream he had had when they had found Cas. He couldn't believe that he had never noticed.

"Georgia. That was you, wasn't it?" Dean's tone remains soft, the disbelief of what is hitting him at that moment.

She simply stares at him, still attempting to keep her eyes locked off of his.

"You told me where to find him. You showed me where he was. That was _you_."

She simply lowered her head and looked away, not wanting to admit that she had indeed interfered and had a hand in it all. As even Gabriel had pointed out. That she had led him to Castiel, that she had watched them escape, that she had cut the trip short for them, erased his memory of his capture and even interfered with the vehicle on the way there so that they didn't have to stop. She had done it all and to this day, still wasn't sure why.

The voice he had heard was hers, her _true_ voice, the light, her true form.

"It was you…" Dean said again and she finally stared back at him. "I saw you."

She looks back at him fully this time, her posture straightening and cocking her head a bit, as if to say that she is unsure of what he means. "What are saying? You saw me?"

"The night Isabelle died." Dean stated simply, still a little conflicted at the whole thing. "That light. It was you. Wasn't it?"

Elizael simply stands there, her face almost falling as she gapes and takes in the words that the hunter is saying to her. What did he mean? What was he talking about, and how was it even possible?

"You…saw me?" She asked surprisingly, almost worriedly. "How can that be?"

Dean takes in her reaction and begins to wonder about it all himself. "Well, I didn't physically," he stammered, still trying to find the right words to say. "I, I saw you in a dream." He stated simply, trying to get her to understand just as much as he was trying to. "The night Isabelle died…the night you first came to her…I know."

She simply looks at him in disbelief. How?

"I know it was you. I saw you…I saw your _true form_." He states simply, the realization dawning on him.

She remains silent as the fact dawns on her as well, still unsure of whether to be afraid of maybe even sublimed. These emotions were too conflicting at the moment. "That's impossible. You couldn't have seen me." She looks scared, almost aghast, and she isn't sure what else to say. What was it about _this_ human?

"If it makes you feel any better, I…uh, I wasn't the least bit…" He didn't really know what to say either. "You're true form is…it's very beautiful."

She feels a small constriction in her throat at the hunters words. She didn't know whether she should be worried that the hunter had seen her true self in a _dream_, which she couldn't understand how it was even possible or why he had seen it at all, or if she should feel complimented at his confession. It was all so disturbing to her.

The clouds that covered them overhead were starting to thunder just a bit and she found that strange feeling in her stomach returning.

Dean let the fact hit him at that moment as well, the idea that Cas had a guardian of his own still baffling him. "But…I don't understand. You…" He scoffs, a small bit of his usual façade coming to light. "Since when do angels have angels?"

Elizael, still plagued by the fact that Dean had seen her arrival on this plane put back up her own façade. "Angels such as myself have been, looking over other angels for eons. But only in special occasions. I suppose our Father considered Castiel a _special_ exception." She smiles softly and Dean immediately notices so, considering it is her first. Was she really…? "Castiel may be a common soldier but he was sent to you for a reason. Just as I was sent to him. He became my charge, long before either of us even existed." Her face is suddenly slightly stern again, but still hiding a bit of the peaceful serenity she had on it before. "He was given to you for a purpose Dean. And he's served that purpose."

Dean knew what was coming, even if he didn't want to hear it. He had been through enough already and now was the time to face it all. Dean wasn't sure how that was all going to happen, but he did know one thing for sure. He wasn't going to let the son of a bitch win. Whoever it was that opposed him, Dean would take them head on.

"Now it's time for me to serve mine."

"And what exactly is that?" Dean already knew the answer, but again was afraid to even hear it.

She hesitated at first but still spoke softly, almost as if she regretted what she was going to say. "It's time for him to come home."

Her words hit him like a ten ton weight, slamming straight into his chest. Dean finds himself fighting back tears once again and cannot find the words to explain _what_ he is feeling right now. It's almost too hard to describe. "Why?"

"Dean…"

"Why would _anyone_ do this to him? I know, he rebelled against Heaven, he broke the rules, hell he pretty much threw the handbook into the Pit but still," He cut off, silencing her words. "How does that justify it?"

She says nothing at first and instead walks closer to him, listening to his words as they replay in her head. "Dean this is not a punishment."

"The hell it is." He retorts.

"Why do you two keeping fighting this?" She nearly shouted, her anger starting to flare, but she slowly took a deep breath and repressed it.

He wanted to scream at the bullshit that was, but in the end just didn't have the strength to do so. He had frankly gotten tired of repeating himself. But that didn't mean that _his_ anger didn't flare nonetheless. Every angel had painted a bulls eye on his angels back and wanted him dead, even after he tried to save them. Tried to help them. It just wasn't right.

"I could have dragged him back Dean. I could have taken him whenever I wanted but I didn't!" Her tone was fierce and resolute but again, she softened. "I'm letting him make that choice. For himself. It's inevitable and you know it. Once his body gives out then he won't have any other option. He'll have to come back and when he does the welcome party that'll be waiting will be less than nice unless I'm there."

Dean just scoffed at her reply, as if not believing a single word coming out of her mouth. Since when the hell did she give a damn.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not." He snaps. "You don't know the feeling."

He goes on to mention that all the angels he has ever met except for Cas are all dicks and that she is one of the biggest ones, and if she chooses to be that way he will make sure to add her to the top of the list. He doesn't regret his words, if anything he enjoys them, even as he takes in her reaction.

The look on her face almost makes Dean think that she is showing regret and that he even _hurt_ her feelings, (that is if she had any) and he softened. But her expression is quickly covered by frustration and he decides to confess something to her.

Maybe then she would start to understand a little.

"You know what, you may not get it…but Cas helped me." He says, immediately getting her to look back at him as if in concentration. "He helped me whenever I needed it and even when he wasn't around he was helping me, healing me…he was filling in a piece of me that I never knew could be refilled…and I don't even think he realized it."

He softly laughs as he recalls some of their best memories. Some of their most annoying too but still, they had always been fun in his eyes and were moments he never once regretted.

"I was missing something in my life, especially after Hell and, I didn't know what would be able to fill that emptiness I had inside my heart, _inside my very soul_. And then he showed up and, even though, it wasn't at first…he slowly but surely found his way in. That loneliness, that black hole inside me, I never thought I could heal that," He nearly croaked, causing a tight knot to form in her throat. "And I was wrong. There was something, someone." He stopped, trying to find the right words to say. "It was him. It's always been him."

Elizael continued to listen as his words struck a chord within her, the sensation in his chest growing and getting louder. _What was __**it**__ about this human that affected her so?_

"I always thought that…you could never count on anyone, sometimes not even family. You could only count on yourself to help you keep going. Cas proved me wrong. I was so wrong." He says almost dumbfounded, as if surprised at himself for just now seeing it. "He showed how much my family meant to me, how important they are to me and that no matter what, they are there for me." Dean sees his words doing something to her and decides to make the biggest confession of all. Never once did he ever think he would openly admit it. "You know something, Bobby once told me that family doesn't end in blood." The hunter didn't get that at first, but he had eventually come to understand. "Cas is a part of my family now…and I love him."

These words hit her the hardest and that tug inside of her was now tearing at the seams, the threat of more tears wanting to come out as she fought to keep them in. _Why was this happening to her?_

Dean didn't give a shit if he sounded like a little girl pouring his heart out. It was the truth. Total chick flick moment or not, he decided that if he ever had to come out with it, then it might as well just be now.

"I love Cas. Almost as much as I love my brother, maybe just as much." He softly chuckled. "He may be one of the most annoying, clueless, reckless, idiotic, stick in the ass people I have ever met in my life but he's my idiot. He's my friend. Hell, he's my best friend and the only one I've got." Dean still noticed the effect his words were having on her, and wondered how much they were starting to have on him as well. "I love him and I'm not ashamed to say it."

The look in his eyes told her so much more than his words ever could.

He did love him as much as he loved Sam and he wasn't ashamed of it, not in the least, but it was a different kind of love. They were more than colleagues but friends seemed to put it lightly too. It was different. Their companionship was _close_. How could one describe it when the angel literally saved him and gave him back his life? Elizael could tell that he was confessing everything, all his feelings for Castiel, whether it was to do something to her she couldn't even tell, but everything he was saying was _real_.

The look on her face told him that she wanted so desperately to understand that it saddened her.

"I know that you angels may not understand the 'profound bond' that he and I share…" A slight chuckle came out at Castiel's exact words of how to describe their friendship. "I didn't either, but he showed me what that could be. What it could feel like. No matter what happens to him…I'm never gonna let him go." He says firmly, making sure she got the message just as he did that moment. "He may be your brother but he's mine now too and I'll find a way to bring him back, even if it _kills_ me."

He feels as if he's said enough, that he has gotten his point across and starts to walk away as a small wind starts to blow through. Dean can feel it in his bones, a storm is coming, and it's gonna be a big one.

"I think I do understand." She whispered, turning around and facing him as he looks back. "You and Castiel, you're two halves of a whole."

She steps closer to Dean as if trying to read his eyes and into his very soul. What she was realizing at that moment was that it was in a sense, a part of Castiel's soul as well.

"You take Castiel at his word, whether you believe it yourself or not. You two can be yourselves around each other."

She pondered more, trying to understand everything she ever observed about them when they were together. Dean notices the look in her eyes, almost how she seems to think deep within her mind as she slowly pointed everything out.

"Castiel trusts you over Heaven. He knew why you had doubts, when even your brother didn't. You gave him a nickname; you…sense his presence before he even shows his face. He learned about true love and devotion from you. He even learned emotions from you." She let a small chuckle and a smile escape her lips, briefly, but still long enough for Dean to catch. He almost finds himself wanting to smile. "But above all, he showed you to trust in faith. To believe in it."

Dean is unsure of the feelings running through him right now but knows for a fact now that she _is_ experiencing doubt herself, as Castiel once did.

"You two are connected. Always have been. Your destinies," Elizael now feels a swirl of feelings that she cannot explain atop of the ones that were already ripping her apart inside. "They're intertwined. You two were always meant to be close. To have a close…" She whispered as she tried to find the right word but couldn't. Whatever label she thought of to describe their relationship, their _bond_ just didn't seem quite to fit, like an inadequate piece to a complicated puzzle. She simply smiled softly and looked away for a moment before returning her gaze to him. "I think I do understand."

Dean merely looks at her and smirks as his defensive façade returns. "Good. You make sure to tell that to your boss." He turns back around and heads back to the house, leaving her alone to swallow his words.

She just couldn't fight it anymore. These feelings she was having. They were just too much for her and when the hunter is far enough away she willingly realizes that the feelings from before have turned into agony and misery.

She lowers her head in desperation and realizes that the anguish has built up so much that she is now freely weeping, not even making a feeble attempt to wipe the tears away, her brow furrowed as if in pain. She simply allows herself to cry and slowly falls down to her knees, the emotional pain from both men almost unbearable and demoralizing. It feels like one big ache, somehow managing to clench itself around her core and cast a scar deep into it, seeping into the delicate threads of her very Grace.

It was _pain_.

She places her hands over her face and sobs, unable to understand how the act to stop seems so impossible to do.

She finally calms down after just another moment and lets one hand fall to her knee, the other sliding down over her lips. With one final sob she lets her hand fall and looks up to the Heavens to her father and sends a silent prayer of her own, finding that she is torn between what needs to be done.

"What do I do? Please tell me."

The words of her Father silently ring through her mind, the moment when Joshua voiced them coming back to her at that moment. _"I entitle this job to you. You must obey no matter what. Bring Castiel back, at any cost."_

"_You're the only one still playing by the rules."_ She gasps as Dean's words come through even louder, the conversation still fresh in her mind.

"_Yes, humans are flawed but they try. Damn it, they try. Maybe if you care to pay attention you would realize that."_ Gabriel.

"_I know that you angels may not understand the 'profound bond' that he and I share…I didn't either, but he showed me what that could be. What it could feel like. No matter what happens to him…I'm never gonna let him go. I'll find a way to bring him back, even if it kills me." _

Love.

"_Cas is a part of my family now…and I love him."_

Family.

The angel was family to Dean. Even though Castiel had his own family in Heaven, one that he depended on for centuries and suddenly turned their backs on him; Dean had somehow found his way in and established that Cas, an angel of the Lord was a part of _his_ family, blood or not.

Or perhaps, it was the other way around. It was Cas who had found his way in, the profound bond that the Righteous Man had spoke of creating a strong relationship between the two.

_How could she not have seen it sooner? _

She sighs, realizing what a blind fool she was.

Castiel and Dean; they were a reflection of _each other_.

When the angel hurt, he hurt, when he felt faithless the angel gave him hope, when the angel found himself on the edge, he brought him back. When Castiel was weak Dean gave him strength. They fought constantly for the other. As much as Dean fought to keep Sam safe, his blood brother, he did the same for the angel Castiel, his spiritual brother. They were each other's strengths, their weaknesses, their being and with the simplest of actions brought each other from the brink. They were _friends, _but that explanation was insufficiently inadequate, they were so much more than that. Their relationship was one that was stronger, deeper, not _lovers_ but something more than _friends_, and she couldn't understand what it was. It was just something…_more_.

Gabriel had been right. She had been _seeing_ it, for months.

She let the realization dawn on her and looks up, her frown turning into an expression of understanding. Humans were so flawed, so aborted, so disgraceful, and yet, they were moral. They knew love. They knew friendship. They knew heartache and they knew suffering. Even when it required the ultimate of sacrifices they were willing to give it all for the sake of another.

It was something, she regrettably realized…that angels did not possess.

It starts to rain, lightly at first, but quickly starts to pour and she simply stays on the ground looking down.

She sighs in despair and lowers her head closing her eyes as another tear falls, feeling the loathe for what she knows she has to do. It was ordered of her. She slowly opens her eyes and notices the angelic necklace hanging off her neck, the presence of it suddenly feeling like a heavy weight. She stares at it for only a moment as she reaches for it and picks it up, holding it in the front of her face.

The symbol of it suddenly causes the truth to dawn on her, her lips slightly parting as it slips out of her fingers to rest back over her heart where her hand soon follows, just as a clash of lightning strikes behind her in the background.

"_I'll find a way to _bring him back_, even if it kills me."_

It was then that she finally understood what the hunter had been trying to tell her all along.

"_If there is anything worth dying for, this is it."_

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Note: **Can you believe it? Just an hour after I post Chapter 15 I finish this one too and find myself posting it up. I still can't believe it and I'm the one who wrote it, lol. I don't know if it's because of what today is but $#!+, this feeling is just so damn awesome. Again, please review and let me know what you think. There are only 4 more chapters left, including a last minute split that I decided to do to keep hold of the suspense and I certainly hope that it is all worth it. It would mean so much to me if you let me know what you think. Thank you again to everyone has stuck around this long. 8D


	17. Chapter 17

**Authors Note:** I just felt so motivated to write this now after the birthday present I got from vampireluvr15 on YouTube a few days ago that I just couldn't stop. I mean holy crap. What else could I actually say that didn't have me bouncing off the walls and grinning like an idiot in flattery, lol. I even fell out of my computer chair laughing at myself. 8D I'm such a ditz I know. Anyways, lyrics in this chapter are by P. Diddy's I'm Coming Home. NO copyright infringement intended! I just really thought it added a nice touch. Vampireluvr15, thank you so much again. It was the best birthday gift EVER, hands down! You so made my day. 8)

**Written:** 08 June

**Soundtrack:** You Fight Me by Breaking Benjamin, Savin' Me by Nickelback, By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North, Acts of Courage by X-Ray Dog

**Word Count:** 5400+

**Chapter 17**

Dean had no idea where the hell that had come from. Both his change in attitude…as well as hers.

He had been at the point of finally giving in, but all of a sudden found himself finding that hidden inner strength that he had always been known for, and it was simply because of what he had just learned. What did he usually call it? A 'holy $#!+' type of moment? I mean, Cas, angel of the Lord had an angel of his own and Dean didn't know? Never thought to wonder? Never thought to ask? _Did Cas even know_? He didn't think so. Otherwise he would have told him. The two of them virtually told each other everything, to a certain degree of course.

What did it matter anyway. Dean was encouraged now, determined as a matter of fact to find Cas a way out of this whole mess, and would fight tooth and nail if need be to help his friend, his brother. He had no idea where that had come from either. To actually confess to an angel he barely knew let alone trusted, that he saw Castiel differently than any other friend, and it was downright spooky. Weird, yet it was strangely liberating as well. Sure, Dean Winchester never did 'chick flick' moments, hell everyone knew that, but for some reason this didn't seem to be one of those. I mean, he _was_ telling the truth so, it didn't really matter. But still, it left him feeling a little light headed and maybe even a little vulnerable.

It didn't matter anyway. He had gotten the answer he needed, and was going to find a way to help Cas, whether it meant putting it all on the line again.

It had come that far, and frankly…Cas was more than worth the risk.

Dean reached the house quickly, just as the first drops of rain started to fall, and immediately went over to the study to find Bobby where he expected him. The older hunter had barely moved from his spot the past few days, and Dean couldn't help but feel a little appreciative. The man had given them so much in the past few years and to say that he was glad to have him was a huge understatement. Bobby was one of his biggest supports and besides Sam and Cas, was probably the only other person he was willing to give up his life for.

Bobby knew that too, not that he'd ever admit it to the man.

"Found anything yet?" Dean asked, quickly taking a seat in front of his desk.

"I've found plenty, but nothing we ourselves can use." Bobby sighed, handing Dean an old tattered book, bounded in faded blue leather and silver lettering. "Most of the spells I've seen that can rid us of this issue can only be reversed by an angel, that or God himself. We just don't have the juice."

"Yeah, and Gabriel has put himself through enough already. I can't ask him to do anymore than he has."

"Same thought crossed my mind." Bobby admitted. "If we can't use something from what we've got here then we'll have to think of another way."

"Then let's do it." Dean said sternly, immediately picking up another text on top of the pile that Bobby had already searched through.

Bobby didn't know what it was, but this was not the same Dean he had seen just minutes before. Something had changed in him, and he seemed more determined than ever to help his angel. Whatever it was, Bobby couldn't quite put his finger on. As Dean continued to search through the pages hoping to find something, the feeling in his bones suddenly got stronger, but he chose to ignore it and continued on with his new mission. He was going to find a way around this, and if anyone thought that he was just gonna let this happen to Cas then they were dead wrong.

Bobby recognized that look in the young hunters eyes and merely stared at him, the resolved piercing look practically beaming from him almost unfamiliar. The truth was, they were at the eleventh hour, and the idea that they would find anything now may very well just be pointless, and they were already picking at straws. But it didn't seem to matter to Dean. Something had changed, and he found his surrogate son to be as strong-minded as ever. Who was he to tell him to be ready, to accept the fact that it was pretty much a done deal unless a miracle decided to come their way. Dean knew it, he knew it, but neither one would openly admit it. Bobby wouldn't do it, and so he kept quiet and continued with what he did best in regards to the boys. He helped them.

All three of them.

Sam and Gabriel could feel it too. The eleventh hour, and it had Gabriel wanting to do something crazy like crawl under a rock or drown himself in candy bars just so he could forget about it all. He continued with his routine of trying to keep his kid brother feeling comfortable, but he doubted that it was doing anything now, even with himself feeling sluggish and achy.

Castiel was frighteningly quiet, had been for a few hours now, and that had both men wondering if he maybe didn't even have the strength to talk. He certainly looked like he had a hard enough time trying to breathe, and that was something simple. Sam knew it and so did Gabriel. But when Sam took his eyes off the sleeping angel for just a second to look at the archangel sitting beside him with his hands folded in front of him, he saw something he never thought he'd see on his face. Gabriel held his usual hard façade, but Sam saw right through it. His eyes gave it all away. The way he didn't take his eyes off Cas, not even for a second, Sam knew. Gabriel was scared. Not just worried, but _scared_.

"Gabriel?" Sam called to him softly, seated just across from him on the other side of the bed facing Castiel's back.

Gabriel said nothing. He simply continued to stare at his brothers white stark face and tried swallowing the unusual obstruction he could feel in his throat. After hearing the young hunter call to him, he knew immediately what it was. He was trying to choke back a sob. It wasn't like he hadn't experienced one before, but never was it in the presence of someone who could actually see it, and he found himself trying to fight back tears that he had been holding back.

When the hell did he become such a pansy, he thought. Oh that's right, when you found a brother you could actually give a shit about after all these eons going at it alone, and found dying on you because one of your other _dumbass_ brothers has issues with him. Gabriel was really getting tired of this shit. When would it finally end, and how many more siblings did he have to lose until it finally did?

"Gabriel?" Sam could see him boiling over, his emotions so topped that he was sure that the archangel would break at any moment.

Sam didn't even need to wait five seconds before the first tear finally fell.

Never had he seen Gabriel so vulnerable, not even when he passed out in exhaustion just a couple days earlier. More tears started to shed, one right after the other and Gabriel, knowing that the hunter was watching, started trying to wipe them away. He really didn't want to show that he was actually crying, but figured that there was no point in hiding it now. Sam had already seen him and he figured that he might as well just let it all go.

"I am scared." Gabriel admitted softly, his eyes still not coming off of Castiel's face and Sam's still not off his.

Sam felt more than just a little sorry for him.

Gabriel stayed quiet a while longer as he tried to take back control of himself, everything he had ever buried trying to release itself at that moment. He even found himself having to bite down on his lip just to keep himself from shedding more tears, but that trick only worked for so long. Whatever little pain he tried to distract him from the one tearing him apart inside was nothing compared to it. It had come to a point where he actually had to cover his face with his hands just so the hunter wouldn't see him. It didn't matter anyway. His wall had pretty much cracked and fallen apart right in front of him, and Gabriel quickly tried to build it back up, though he was doing a pretty sad job of it.

Sam couldn't understand why he was even trying to. It was always better to just let it go sometimes. It may not have been easy, but at least there was always closure, even if it was just a little.

"I guess now I get why you wanted to bring Dean back so badly," he chuckled softly, trying to hold back a sob that eventually came out. "I guess me trying to teach you that lesson that Dean was your weakness, should have actually been my lesson."

Gabriel bit at his top lip again as he stared down at his clutched hands, still wet from the fresh tears he had just shed.

"I guess I get it now."

Sam tried not to admit it, but it was true. Family was always your biggest weakness, whether you yourself knew it or not. He didn't think that he had to tell the archangel that though. He was clearly getting the message now. After conversing for just a few minutes more, Gabriel decided on a final course of action and soon turned to leave. Before doing so however, he carefully lifted himself from his chair and walked over to Castiel, hoping to give him one last message before he left to do what he had to.

He simply stared at him for a few long, agonizing moments and placed a gentle hand on his head before placing a chaste kiss on his forehead.

Sam didn't know if he should be staying or leaving, but chose otherwise, not really seeing the situation to be uncomfortable. There was no reason it should be at this point.

Gabriel whispered to Castiel, asking him to hang in there just a little longer and promising to return. Whether he would actually be able to or not, Gabriel didn't know. He didn't want to leave, but Gabriel couldn't stay and watch him die either. He just couldn't. Whatever walls he had built up over the centuries were breaking and Gabriel wasn't sure if he would be able to hold out. He could only think of one thing to do. He slowly got up and turned to Sam, looking sternly at the hunter as if to tell him 'You tell anyone about that, I'll kill you'. Sam got the message loud and clear, trying to hide a small smile under his lips.

And with that, the angel was gone, leaving Sam alone with Castiel in the room.

In a desperate last ditch effort, Gabriel winged outside and immediately looked up, the rain pummeling him in the same spot where Elizael was still standing just feet across from him. He couldn't help but think how convenient the storm passing by just so happened to be.

"I'm surprised to see you're here." He said softly, wondering what purpose she even had to be there.

She said nothing at first, her back turned to him and hands buried deep in her pockets, her head hanging low. "I don't understand it," she whispered. "I don't understand Gabriel. There's just something," She sighed, wanting so _desperately_ to know. "Something between the two of them. It's unlike anything I've ever seen." She slowly turned around to face him, her eyes now a slight puffy pink, telling him that she may have been shedding some tears of her own and that it wasn't the rain currently drenching them. "Anything I've ever felt." She whispers to herself, as if stuck in her own mind. "I _need_…" She stops for a moment, looking back up, but still not at Gabriel as he stared back at her. "I need to understand."

A moment of silence passed between them, as Gabriel tried to figure out what was going through her mind, her look of unresolved closure unlike any one he'd ever seen. She finally looks up at him and Gabriel sees something in her eye that he didn't see before. Could never have imagined seeing. He saw remorse, and it ran deep inside her.

"So. You've finally seen it. You've seen the light." He almost chuckles softly, but can't really think how else to take it. He could say that he was surprised, but now just didn't seem like the time to like unexpected surprises. Certainly not the ones that they had been getting lately. "I can't say I get it either but, at least now you're willing to pay attention I guess."

She stays silent a moment and he notices a small tug at her lips as she looks down. "Yeah." She looks back at him and he can't help but wonder what she's hiding. "I guess I am."

"So then?" He asks flatly, studying her ever so closely for a reaction. "What's the verdict?"

She paused before actually saying anything, the idea of it all still playing in her head. "I don't know Gabriel. I really don't know." She sighed, still trying to understand the reason behind it all. "I never wanted to…question, our Fathers will. Never. But these past few centuries I…I've wondered. I've _questioned_ what our Fathers actions were, where he's been, why," That's what made her most nervous, her questioning, her doubt, her unspoken hesitation. It would ultimately become her downfall, and she couldn't help but wonder if the time to act upon it had actually come. "I just don't know."

"Well you would be one of the first to notice wouldn't you?" Gabriel said, not the least bit jokingly.

She almost smiles at that, and he notices it right away as she looks up at the sky, the stars starting to peak through some of the breaks in the clouds.

Gabriel couldn't put his finger on it, but the look in her eyes told him that she had just realized something, maybe about herself or even about those around her. Whatever it was, Gabriel couldn't help but maybe feel a little happy for her, if not the least bit relieved. Whatever she had plaguing her mind, she had obviously come to some conclusion and figured it out.

He paused for a moment before going on. "So, begs the question. What _do_ you see?"

She simply says nothing and looks back at him, her expression now blank. She just disappears, leaving him with only his own thoughts.

He simply stands there for a while, rummaging through his own thoughts when he looks up, the rain continuing to drench him. He had no idea if anyone would actually be listening, but he figured that if anyone could give him an answer, he would probably be the only one who could.

"I know I haven't been the best son in the world Dad, but I know even you wouldn't allow this. I _know_ you. There's something you're not telling me." Tears quickly started to well in his eyes, whether it was from everything that was now happening or for what he was about to do, he didn't yet know. More than likely it was the first, but then again, he didn't know how his little brother would take it either. He figured that he'd cross that bridge when he got to it. "Whatever it is…I only want to ask you one thing." Gabriel thought hard for the words. "Don't let him down. Whatever you do, don't let him down like I did." He croaked, forcing back his tears again as the ones that had already fallen mixed with the rain.

With that final thought and a flutter of wings, Gabriel disappeared as well, leaving only the skies to cry.

Dean had dedicated perhaps only a half hour to research before he found something that could be useful. Granted it would cost him a lot of pain and maybe a little of his soul, but if it could delay this crap he called an 'inevitable death', then he was willing to try it. He told Bobby nothing, who looked at him with a piercing gaze as if to ask him what the hell he was up to, but Dean simply ignored it and headed downstairs to get exactly what he needed. Good thing that Bobby was such a paranoid SOB to constantly keep extras of anything they might need.

The moment he reached the bottom of the stairs to head over to the panic room, he was met with a most unusual scene in front of him, as he noticed Elizael inside finishing up a pentagram seal in the middle of the floor. It was surrounded by another seal, this one much smaller and drawn out with something that definitely was not spray paint or chalk like the second one. This one looked more like it had been drawn by the melting candle now inches from her feet, the intricate symbols surrounding it almost a graceful and complex calligraphy.

He called to her from the hall, asking her what she was doing and causing her to look up briefly, staring straight into his soul with that same stone cold expression he had always known her for. It was what he had always been accustomed to seeing on her, the look telling him as if she wanted to beat the crap out of someone for no apparent reason. It quickly disappeared however, as in that brief moment he saw it soften to such a degree that he could have sworn through her blank expression that she was genuinely happy about something. He also could have sworn that the corner of her lips curved into a genuine smile, even with how small it was. It soon disappeared however, her face going back to be as blank as ever, and she lifted her free hand to telepathically shut the door and lock it, leaving Dean to go up it and bang on it hard, calling out her name.

He had no idea what she was doing and after several moments of being unable to even so much as budge the damn thing, he quickly runs upstairs to Bobby, telling the older hunter what is happening.

"Well what is she doing in there?" Bobby asked, clearly flustered at the younger mans sudden frustration.

"I don't know. She won't open the damn door. She won't let me in." Dean nearly hollered.

"Well what did you see?"

Dean quickly tired to explain as he described the two seals, the presence of candles, an athame and what even looked like a jug of holy oil, the familiar spicy scent coming from the room quite apparent. Bobby then asks him how big the seal in the middle was as Dean replies that he couldn't be entirely sure, but that it didn't seem to be any bigger than perhaps a couple feet, maybe just a little more.

"27 inches maybe? Drawn out of wax?"

"Yeah. How did you─" Dean really had no reason to ask. He was talking to the biggest human expert he knew about spells and seals after all. This should have been a no brainer to him, even if he himself knew nothing about it. "Yeah that was it. With a bunch weird symbols around it. How did you know?"

"Shit." That was all Bobby could say as he started to rummage through the piles of book and scrolls scattered throughout his desk. The moment the younger hunter verified his suspicions, he knew exactly where to look and started searching for one book in particular. It was the same book Elizael had pulled out to show him the spell that was slowly sucking away at Castiel's life and for some stupid reason, couldn't find where he had put the damn thing.

Elizael quickly finished drawing the outer seal and tosses the chalk to the side.

Bobby finally finds the book on the floor, piled below a ton of others, and quickly starts to run through the pages. When he finds the one he's looking for, he quickly pulls the book flat open and shows it to Dean, asking him if they were the symbols he saw.

Dean simply replied yes.

"That's a Sigillum Dei Aemeth." Bobby whispered, as if the thing was completely unique to him. It shouldn't have been, considering that they had used it so many times as devil's traps and even had one hanging above their heads right now.

"An Aemeth─? Why the hell is─" Dean stammered, still trying to figure out what was so damn special about this specific one that had the older man practically speechless. "Why would she need a Aemeth sigil?"

Bobby said nothing as he continued to scour through the book, quickly flipping through the pages as he tried to find the second seal that Dean had described. He had a pretty good idea of what it was, but still needed to find it just to make sure.

Elizael slowly picked up the jug of holy oil and started to pour it around the outer seal, careful not to spill it on any of her work as she started to chant the incantation in Latin.

"Invocabo virtutes tenere." She slowly pulled a match from her jacket pocket and lit it against the small box that held it. "Signa circuli, ut non sit mortale vel angelica,transibit moenia."

She drops the match and watches as the flames flare up around her. They burn blue at first, but as she finishes the incantation in Enochian, they quickly turn back to orange and shade into a bright and heavy pink at its base, the flames burning healthy from the oil. This fire she cannot escape, this she knows, and decides that once she starts with what she is about to do, that there will be no turning back. Now was the moment of truth. Where she had found the courage to do this, she couldn't begin to comprehend, but didn't question it either as she began the next step of the spell.

Bobby finally found what he was looking for and quickly showed it to Dean. "That's it. That's the one."

Bobby quickly studied it, the elaboration of it almost baffling him. From the outer ring to the galethog, Bobby tried to interrupt everything that was written in the spell. Inside those two were the outer heptagon, followed by the writings of the names of God, the daughters of light, the sons of light, the daughters of the daughters, the sons of the sons, and then finally the pentagram in the center, every piece surrounded by the intricacy of the spell they were meant to carry out.

"She's performing a spell. There's not even a damn name for it." He whispered, still trying to get his now trembling hands to settle down so he could actually read the fading text in front of him. "With that sigil, it's more than just powerful. It's cosmic." Bobby said as he looked up to stare at the younger hunter still standing in front of him. "I've never actually seen one done." Bobby continued trying to translate what he could and is flabbergasted at what he's reading as he attempts to interpret the symbols.

"Bobby?" Dean calls, still trying to read the older hunters face as he continues skimming through the text, his fingers brushing lightly through the words as he reads softly. "What the hell is she doing?"

She quickly lights the seven candles surrounding the first seal, and begins to recite the first part of the spell in Enochian, still being incredibly careful not to smudge or erase any part of the two seals.

Bobby takes a moment to answer and slowly looks up, whispering softly to Dean. "She's releasing the Grace from its vessel."

She picks up the athame now resting at her feet, and starts to carve into her palms as she continues the delicate incantation.

"Release? From who?" Dean asked, still unsure of what is even happening.

She squeezes her hand and lets the blood drip on the outer seal as it begins to react to the spell, the Enochian incantation still being chanted through her whispered and graceful voice.

Bobby continues to translate and skips over most of the basics, trying to reach the end of the text without actually missing anything he should deem important. "This incantation is used by angels to transform their Grace." Bobby says softly, still not tearing his eyes from the page.

The seal starts to glow and her Grace begins to react. She slowly opens her hand and retracts it, bringing it towards her chest as she brings her two hands together as if in prayer. The blood slowly drips down her hand and wrists as she continues on with the incantation.

"She's ripping it from herself." Bobby whispers, his expression almost sad as he looks back at Dean, a look of bewilderment clear on the younger hunters face.

Dean can only feel dumbstruck, as his next words come out slowly and soft, almost mimicking the same sad tone as the man in front of him. "Ripping the Grace from herself? Why?"

Elizael continues with the spell as her Grace begins to slowly draw itself from her like a wave of prismatic light.

Bobby continues to skim through the text as he translates, his usual façade returning. "An angels Grace is unique. It has its own signature to which it can only reside in that one particular angel." Bobby reads the text in the book as the suspicion starts to creep into his mind, his tone softening again. "That's the reason for the spell."

Dean now finds himself getting agitated, his confusion still quite obvious as he tries to figure out what exactly Bobby is telling him.

"She's changing her Grace to fit it to another." His tone is simple and flat as he looks back to meet the green of Dean's eyes. He is slowly starting to realize what is going on.

Elizael recites the last of the spell as her Grace now begins to pour itself out of her body from her chest, circling around the outer seal.

"Another what? Another angel?" Dean's expression is still confused and somewhat antsy, as he tries to sort out everything that the older man has just told him.

Bobby merely looks at him as he finishes the text, the truth of what she is doing suddenly dawning on him.

Elizael begins to feel the pain of her loss and is it quickly becomes unbearable, but she continues and starts to pray in Enochian, refusing to stop as she begins to recite the second half of the spell.

The silence between the two of them alone is deafening, but the look on the older hunters face speaks volumes more.

It's then that Dean realizes her ultimate action, his face falling. "She's gonna die." Dean replied softly, the realization of it all finally hitting him.

"I think that's the point son." Bobby replied, just as sadly.

Dean can't even think of what to say.

Was this what it had finally come to? For her to take a step like this that required her to literally take her own life so that she could give it to another? To make…a deal?

Dean could only look up and stare at Bobby, the feeling of tears pushing from behind his eyelids but still not enough force for them to actually shed. Is this what it had actually come to?

Elizael finishes the incantation as her eyes start to radiate a silvery glow. The lights soon begin to flicker around her and the house begins to shake at the intensity of what is happening, gradually increasing in intensity.

Bobby and Dean look up as the lights begin to spark and go out, quickly raining sparks down on them. Dean quickly gets up and makes his run downstairs, quickly being hit with both wind and blinding light.

Elizael feels the Grace now flowing heavily out of her vessel and finds herself now frantically praying. The inner seal on the floor starts to glow brightly, and the Grace starts to circle around it like a wave as her body continues to be engulfed in gold light, her true form coming through as her vessel is cracking, erupting in spider like veins throughout her skin.

Dean reaches the panic room and cries out to Elizael, banging heavily on the door. She continues however, knowing that she cannot stop, and is now experiencing physical pain from the transformation of her Grace. It starts off as a swirl of golds, reds and whites but is now transforming to silvers, baby blues and lavenders.

It wouldn't be much longer.

Sam remains upstairs staying with Castiel, and wonders what the hell is going on as the house begins to quake even louder, causing picture frames to fall off the walls and standing furniture to topple over.

Dean can literally feel the light burning at his skin as he continues trying to get Elizael's attention, the door still tightly shut.

The pain is excruciatingly intense and Elizael begins to scream, her true voice coming to light as the last of her Grace detaches from her and begins spinning around the seal violently. Her back suddenly arches sharply, her chest thrown up towards the ceiling, head thrown back, and arms now pulled to her sides, her vessel falling apart as it floats just above the floor. Dean quickly falls to the ground to cover his ears from the sound, as does everyone else in the home who isn't already unconscious. At this point she feels wetness trailing from the corner of her eyes and the experience she has, can only be described as out of body.

I'm coming home

I'm coming home

Tell the World I'm coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes

I'm coming home, I'm coming home

Tell the World that I'm coming

It is over within seconds as Elizael gives one final silent prayer.

"Father, forgive me."

With one final painstaking and agonizing scream, her eyes fly wide open to reveal a pure gold glow as she explodes in a supernova of light, her body quickly disappearing, and with it, the quaking activity that surrounded them.

Even the storm outside has diminished and the starry night returns as the clouds clear away.

Within a few moments the lights begins to flicker and return, as Dean slowly removes himself from his crouched position against the door. He takes a moment to catch his breath, which feels like it had literally been sucked out of him, and turns to his side, reaching for the door handle and pulling it down with a shaky hand. The door easily slides open this time and Dean carefully looks inside.

All he sees is the seal left faded on the floor, the intensity of the spell nearly erasing it away along with the flames, and right in the middle of it is a glowing silver pendent filled with Elizael's Grace, protective incantations carved throughout the metal.

Dean slowly gets up and walks over, bending down and picking it up as it reacts to his touch. It glows brightly, feeling warm against his fingers, almost hot, and for the first time in a long time, Dean feels if not a small sense of hope. He lets one small tear fall down his cheek and looks up, hoping to all hope that God would be listening.

"Thank you."

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Notes: ***Invocabo virtutes tenere. Signa circuli, ut non sit mortale vel angelica,transibit moenia.* "I call upon the powers that bind. Seal this circle. So that no being, mortal or angelic, shall pass through its walls."


	18. Chapter 18

**Authors Note: **Because I am just that kind of writer, if anyone is wondering what else Sam and Gabe were discussing after their last scene, you'll see that in the first chapter of part 2. I know some of you guys like the brotherly friendship type bonding stuff (I know I love it) and I couldn't help but create one between our favorite sasquatch hunter and midget archangel. I promise that you won't have to wait long. I certainly hope you're not disappointed. I personally think that it was kind of touching when I wrote it, even though it is small, so we shall see what you think. This chapter had recently been split to appear as two, but after much deliberation I decided to just bring them back together and this is the result. So for those who have been paying attention, next chapter _will_ be the last. Now onto the story. 8) Oh yeah, also a warning. All I ask, IS THAT YOU DON'T PANIC! That is very important. (Feathered Filly, I'm looking at you) _Now_ onto the chapter.

**Written:** 09 June

**Soundtrack:** October by Evanescence, Illuminated by Hurts, Pieces by RED

**Word Count:** 2400+

**Chapter 18**

Dean's mind just continued to race around the same thought as he practically ran up the stairs from the basement, the same words repeating in his head over and over again.

_Did that really just happen? I mean holy crap, did that actually just really happen?_

Sure he asked for a miracle, but never would he have imagined that he would get it this way or in this form. In the pendant now squeezed tightly in his hand, the Grace pulsing inside burning hot against his skin. He could literally feel it, the surge of both power and beauty from the angel it once belonged to, and to what she had given up. Dean didn't know what to think except maybe thank you, thank you and I'm sorry. For her to have taken a step like this, to literally give it all up when it would ultimately lead to an end, she must have really seen it as worth it.

She must have seen Cas as worth it.

Still, Dean couldn't help but feel if not a little saddened. She had literally taken her own life, and it had been more than likely under his influence. He couldn't help but wonder, what happened to angels who took such unspeakable acts? Those who ripped out their Graces like Anna were reborn human, or those who fell like Lucifer became the Devil. So begged the question, what would ultimately happen to her?

Dean quickly made it to the second floor, racing just past Bobby who had still remained in the study and soon followed the younger hunter just behind. The moment Dean made it to the top of the stairs he is met by Sam, who quickly asks what the hell happened. Before he can get an answer though, he notices the glowing aura coming from Deans right hand and immediately recognizes an all too familiar pendant hanging from it.

"Dean," Sam almost looks mortified as he looks straight into Deans face. "What the hell is that?"

"What do you think?" Dean said flatly, a slight tinge of relief evident at the end of his tone.

Sam pauses as his brother lifts it up and cups it in his left hand, the Grace inside immediately reacting to the older hunters touch as it burns brighter. Sam can't help but wonder how he even got it, but at this point doesn't seem to have the courage to ask, and instead looks away from the pendant still glowing in his hand and back at his face.

"Who?" His voice is so soft that he himself barely hears what he's saying.

Dean can't help but feel a little upset at the answer, but replies his brother honestly. "The son of a bitch who I owe the biggest apology of life to."

Sam didn't even need to ask who he was referring to, and the three of them immediately headed to the bedroom at the end of the hall where Castiel remained laying.

Halfway through however, the lights around them suddenly began to flicker and spark, and the three hunters found themselves stopping as they are quickly surrounded by angels on either side.

"Shit."

Dean's hand immediately squeezes as the Grace inside it suddenly feels like it is retracting deep into the glass that holds it.

The angels have sensed what has happened, and are there to stop it.

Dean looks back to find two angels standing just feet behind him, and then in front of him to find three more where they are blocking his way to the bedroom. Behind the three of them is Raphael, slowly making his way in front of them as they part to let him pass, their angel swords slowly falling into their hands.

"Hello Dean Winchester," Raphael speaks, his usual smug look literally plastered on his face. Dean can't help but notice that the archangel looks a little rough around the edges, but then again, from what he learned, the spell he used on Cas had some backfires of its own, and he couldn't help but wonder if that meant that the son of a bitch would be easier to take down now. Hence the posse. "I'll be taking that now if you don't mind." His eyes quickly falling on the Grace still in his hand.

Dean squeezed on the pendent harder, the Grace inside almost growing cold from the presence of the archangel in front of him. "Over my dead body."

Raphael couldn't help but smile at the hunters choice of words. "I shall be glad to oblige."

Before they can do anything, a fight ensues amongst them, and Bobby finds himself tackling on the two angels behind him while Sam and Dean take the three in front. Dean desperately tries to keep the Grace safe, quickly putting it around his neck before he takes out the angel sword hidden in his belt, and quickly joins Sam who has already taken out one of the female angels protecting Raphael. Dean goes for the other, who appears to have more skill and quicker reflexes than the previous, but immediately shifts gears to leave her to Sam to handle while he takes on Raphael. Dean knew it was suicide, considering that the angel could take him out with a snap of his fingers, but for some reason thinks that the guy can't even do that right now. Before he can get any closer however, he finds himself being thrown across the hall, flying past the other two angels and landing hard on his side against the opposite wall, the pendent slipping from out of his shirt. Sam calls out to him and the other female angel takes advantage of his distraction, which Sam uses against her to turn the tides, and slip her own sword on herself. The air is quickly filled with her screams as she falls and disappears in a flash of light, leaving only the charred remains of her wings behind along with her vessel.

Raphael now begins to descend on him, hoping to take him out so that he can finally concentrate on Dean, but just as he is about to throw the younger hunter across the hall opposite his brother, he finds himself being tackled to the ground, his body slamming hard against the wooden floor.

Castiel, sensing the danger, unexpectedly joins the fight, immediately heading for Raphael who is clearly still much stronger than he. Castiel is quickly outmatched by the archangel as he tries to kill him, quickly losing his own sword, Raphael sensing the immensity of the Grace and knowing that it is one he cannot afford to let slip through his hands. Nor allow his brother to have.

Sam rams an angel sword into one of the other angels and sees what is happening between the two brothers. Dean still has his hands full, as does Bobby and the situation is becoming dire.

Raphael continues to choke Castiel on the ground, who does not have the strength to pull him off, his hands gripping hard on the archangels forearms.

"Did you honestly think you could win this war?" Raphael whispered, the sad look in his younger brothers eyes quickly beginning to fade as his strength began to leave him completely. "You, are, _nothing_."

Castiel can feel his eyes growing heavier as the darkness starts to take over, and just when it all seems over the remaining angels find themselves being cast out. Raphael feels the electricity pushing against his own Grace as well, and looks back just in time to that Sam has drawn a blood sigil on the wall.

"Good old angel be gone." Sam slams his right hand hard against the seal and it erupts in light, just as Raphael screams, and is quickly blown away along with the two remaining angels he came with. All that remains from them are their screams, and everything immediately grows silent.

Dean quickly picks himself up and rushes over to Castiel, who is barely hanging onto consciousness, and quickly pulls out the pendant, removing it from around his neck. Dean then places a careful arm under Cas' shoulders and pleads with him to keep his eyes open.

Castiel can feel his vision going black along the edges, as every last bit of energy he had managed to store these past couple of days is completely drained out of him. Sam hurries over to help him, quickly covering his bloody arm back up with his sleeve and kneeling down on the opposite end of the angel. Castiel has not made any movement except for his slower and slower breathing as his heart rate begins to slow, all adrenaline quickly disappearing.

His eyes slowly slide closed, until it all eventually stops altogether.

Sam looks over at Dean, who closes his eyes and starts to softly pray in desperation.

My good Angel,  
>Thou comest from heaven;<br>God has sent thee to take care of me.  
>Oh, shelter me under thy wings…<p>

Sam quickly recognizes the prayer, and immediately joins him in unison, Bobby soon following from just across the hall.

Dean crushes the pendent in his right hand and the Grace slowly begins to creep through his fingers, the energy it brings quickly melting at his skin as it enters into Castiel's body through his mouth.

The hunters can only sit there and watch as it slowly disappears inside of him, continuing to silently pray.

When the Grace finishes drawing itself in however, nothing happens.

Dean begins to wonder if Elizael's last action was in vain, and tears start to well up behind his eyes, praying to God to please let this work, and mentally cursing at himself at his own stupidity. This wasn't how it was going to end. Not like this.

It just couldn't.

"_Damn it, Cas. Please, don't you dare…don't you do this to me."_

"Don't give up." He whispered brokenly, not even realizing that the words had slipped and his walls have again begun to crack.

After several moments of nothing happening, Dean finally breaks and lets the tears fall, slowly realizing that they were too late. Sam does as well, trying to stay strong for his brother and places his left hand on Dean's right shoulder. Dean doesn't even move as he closes his eyes in pure and utter broken defeat. Even Bobby lowers his head in mourning from the other side of the hall at the sight, as Dean opens his eyes and looks at the still face of the now dead angel.

"I'm sorry Cas." He whispers as he carefully removes his arm from under him and places his left hand on the celestials right shoulder, the other falling on the man's bare chest, the broken pendent still held loosely in his hand. "I'm so sorry." Dean slowly lowers his head and closes his eyes again as more tears fall, the feeling welling up inside making him feel completely empty.

The room held no movement. No sound. Nothing. There was simply an empty and silent stillness.

…

…

…

…

…

_Both my brother and I were silent as I mourned the man that had become a best friend and a brother. It killed me, having been so close at keeping this from happening and now having him lay dead before me._

_I wanted to slip away…knowing that I couldn't save him. _

_I had broken my promise to him._

_I loved him just as fiercely as I loved Sam. I meant every word when I said that I loved him. I was just sorry that I never told him that. And now I wasn't going to be able to. I silently wished to have my own pain end, forgetting everything else in the world at that moment._

_I just didn't care anymore._

_All I knew, was that I didn't have my angel at my side anymore._

…

…

…

Castiel is standing alone in the middle of a misty white void, as a bright gold light glows behind him. He slowly turns around, and is engulfed by it.

…

Bobby slowly gets up from where he remained sitting, silently making his way over to Dean, and kneeling down next to him, placing a careful hand on his shoulder next to Sam's own. He could literally feel the young man's body trembling underneath, knowing that he is trying so hard to keep himself together. There was really no point in doing so.

They were all hurting.

"I'm sorry son." Bobby said quietly, as he squeezed Dean's shoulder and turned his head to look at him, his own tears quickly forming behind his eyes as he took in the broken look on Dean's. Never before had he seen him this way. The only other time that came close, was when they had lost Sam. That was the _only_ other time he had ever seen him this way. This broken.

Dean had still not taken his eyes off of Castiel, his head slightly shaking in disbelief.

They had come _so_ close.

Just as they were slowly about to accept the fact and lift their friend from off the cold floor, Castiel's eyes suddenly fly wide open as he gives out a fierce gasp, the three hunters finding themselves having to cover their eyes and ears from the burning light and the scream of his true voice that follows.

The Grace is immense in both mass and force, as they literally feel themselves being thrown back against the walls. The hunters feel as if they are going to be crushed by the massive weight it gives, and the force of it all only got brighter. The power of it blows out every window of the house as well as the doors from their hinges, and even manages to knock some cars in the junkyard down, leaving them as a giant heap on the ground.

After just a few seconds the surge of wind and light stops and vanishes, and Sam, Dean and Bobby slowly uncover their eyes and look down, only to find that Castiel has disappeared.

Their eyes are left stinging, ears pounding and vision blurry, every sight and sound around them coming out muffled and grainy. The effect would last several minutes, but Dean could care less at that point. All he knew was that his friend had disappeared, and quickly wondered what had become of him. All he knew was that something had happened.

All they knew, was that Castiel was gone.

**To Be Continued…**

**Authors End Note:** Thank you to everyone for the reviews and alerts. They always keep me going and you guys have been amazing. For those who wished me good thoughts on my last note, I really do appreciate them. We just recently lost a family matriarch to cancer the morning of my birthday (same day as my late grandmother six years earlier of the same disease) only a week after it was discovered, and the following morning an uncle of mine collapsed in his home and was immediately taken to the hospital where he has also been diagnosed with a highly aggressive cancer. So far as I know they have found tumors in his back, spinal cord and chest but that's all the updates I am getting. So you can imagine how my nerves were pretty much shot to Hell when I heard the news. Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts, you really have no idea how much I appreciate them. They really do help me a lot. Thank you all again. :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Authors Note:**Here it is, the final chapter. *tear* This has been such a roller coaster ride for me and I hope for all of you too and I can't thank you all enough. I know you guys are probably wondering what the hell was so special about Elizael's grace that Raphael wanted it so badly (I've laid out several clues throughout this story as you already know) and that the way Cas' vessel reacted to it was pretty much an atomic bomb compared to when Anna retrieved hers, but I'm afraid that I will be holding onto that information for much later. I know you guys probably want to know now but I promise that it will be revealed when the time comes. The battle between her and the archangel still needs to play out (don't worry, I will be trying to stay as true to the original story as I can) and I promise you will not have to be hanging for long. I will try and make it as quick as possible but you will have to be patient with me. All things come in due time. As you already know before I started on this story I studied up on my lore and discovered that are quite a few interesting topics to touch up on in regards to angels so I will be using as much of that as I can throughout the verse (which now thankfully has a name). I think that's everything. Enjoy and thank you again! 8) Also, finally decided to enable anonymous reviews for those who don't have an account here. Now that's all. 8)

**Written:** 09 June

**Soundtrack: **Marchin On by One Republic, Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine, Dawn by Poets of the Fall, Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas, Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World (had to use them again because I love them so much)

**Word Count: **3400+

**Chapter 19**

He could have sworn that this place felt a lot stuffier than the last time he visited. But then again, maybe it was just him.

Gabriel easily found who he was looking for, the same pale skinned, bleach blonde, grey eyed angel still where he left him. Azreal actually took notice this time, taking note of Gabriel's presence, and if the archangel didn't know any better, he would think that he was somewhat saddened by it.

Azreal simply concentrated on his task, collecting soul after screaming soul, trying not to distract himself with such ideas that he knew would come at him at any moment. There was no other reason to see him now, other than to do the obvious. It had actually come to that.

"I want to make a deal."

If the angel of death had a heart, he would more than likely feel it sinking right now.

"To save Castiel?" Azreal noted, his question sounding more like a statement. "You're willing to fall that far to save him?"

"I know you can do it." Gabriel replied, the hint of hesitation he expected in his tone not even present. "All you have to do, is downgrade my wings, that's it." Gabriel almost sounded like he was begging, and quickly erased that from his voice. He didn't need to sound desperate, even though what he was about to do was pretty much borderline stupid. "Castiel can be saved and I─."

"I'm sorry Gabriel," Azreal replied, the air suddenly feeling a lot thicker and heavier around them, the sounds surrounding them almost muted in comparison to the silence now creeping between them. His voice was grim, lifeless, almost pained in sadness and broken feeling. He slowly turned around to meet his brothers eyes, temporarily pausing his true task at hand. "You know that I can, but I won't. You're already too late."

Gabriel suddenly felt his throat closing in on him, his blood growing cold. There were only two ways to take the interpretation of such words. Either a miracle had happened (which Gabriel highly doubted because let's face it, nobody had been listening to a word he'd said or of anyone else for that matter), or because it was already too late to do anything about it. He silently prayed that it was the former, a pang of guilt already rising in his gut for not being there for his younger brother. He found himself growing scared again.

"What do you mean? Is he…"

Azreal hesitated, looking down at the rocky ground before returning his gaze back at Gabriel's, the archangel looking almost desperate to know what he yet did not. Azreal simply stood there, his hands deep in his pant pockets, a tiny smile tugging at the edge of his lips.

"You could say that he's no longer on my agenda." He said simply, only serving to confuse Gabriel even more. "He has a higher power to answer to now."

Gabriel didn't know what happened his first. His jaw dropping or his wings uncurling, either one indicating that he was either in shock or pure, utter amazement. He wanted to say something, anything really, but for some stupid reason couldn't find any words to say, or to actually say anything at all. He had been left completely dumbstruck. He didn't know whether to laugh, cry or start jumping up and down for joy while doing some stupid dance that would more than likely raise a few eyebrows.

He just left it at a wide grin (for now).

"You were really willing to strip away your wings to give them to Castiel?" Azreal asked, his tone saying that he still couldn't believe it. "You barely have enough energy as it is right now. If I had done that and restored him to full strength, then you wouldn't even be able to take on a fledgling you dimwit." Azreal almost chuckled at the end of that statement, eventually doing so as he took in Gabriel's brighter than happy reaction.

Who would have thought that the guy had a sense of humor (being an angel of death and all).

"Now get the Hell out of my sight." He joked.

"Done deal." Gabriel replied, quickly smiling and giving his brother a wave before he dipped on out of there.

He wasn't sure what he was going to find when he got there, but he quickly headed over to the Singer home to get the news. Even though Azreal indicated that Castiel was in some form still alive, he still had to be sure. It took him a good while longer to actually pop in, considering he still felt like total crap, but at least his heart was starting to feel a little lighter, almost feather like. He couldn't help but grin at his own joke.

When he finally did manage to pop in, he found the brothers talking, (well, Dean was the one doing most of the talking apparently) and couldn't help but overhear the older hunter mention to his own younger brother that Elizael's purpose was to serve as guardian and protector of their favorite blue eyed angel. If he knew that, then maybe something big truly did happen. Only if something was coming to an end, would the hunter actually have known that.

It was only then that Gabriel noticed the difference in the home, the air feeling a little heavy and electrified, as if something huge had just exploded through its cracks and walls. It felt a lot like Grace.

He immediately looked at the three men sitting around the study, asking what the hell had happened and what he had missed, taking in the faces of each and every one of them. "_Helloooo_, what did I miss?"

"Do you want the gist of it or do you prefer the whole damn story in intricate detail?" Dean replied, somewhat annoyed at the archangels almost chipper mood when he himself was in a bad one.

"How about you just tell me where the hell my brother is so I can go home. How about that?" Gabriel smiled teasingly. He already knew the answer that he was bound to get but still felt like adding a little flare around the atmosphere. He was in too good a mood to pass this up.

He was in a _very_ good mood, the hunters noted.

After a brief explanation from the three of what Elizael had done and Raphael's surprise visit, Gabriel found himself growing slightly angry at his douche bag brother, but also happy at the result that followed, beaming with joy from his heart as he looked up, presumably at the sky above him. More than likely at God too.

_You crazy son of a bitch._

"You wanna explain to us what the hell is going on?" Dean asked, still clearly confused considering that they had still yet to hear from Castiel. Their friend was still missing, but Gabriel was practically beaming that he was sure that they were missing something else other than the obvious. _Couldn't the dude just spit it out already, for once?_

Gabriel just looked at him, as if to tell him that he was completely and utterly clueless, but just smiles as he lets a small tear fall down his face, chuckling at himself. "Aw man, that kid's got the luckiest streak I've ever freakin' seen." Gabriel laughed, grinning at himself like an idiot.

Dean still wasn't getting it, but the archangel was in no mood for anything else right now except to have a little celebration (or a BIG one, in pure Gabriel style of course. Better start getting the party favors). With a wink and a _catch you guys later_, the archangel disappeared, leaving the hunters to stand there in bewilderment and still wondering what the 'f' had happened.

Before doing so however, Gabriel couldn't help but do them a little favor (he couldn't help but notice the mess after all) after everything they had done for his little brother, and repaired the house until it looked _almost_ like new (considering the literature décor; the place could really use a woman's touch Gabriel thought). At least Bobby could take home repair of his list of things to do this weekend.

* * *

><p>It had now been hours since Castiel's disappearance, and Dean especially, found himself getting antsy. Where the hell was Cas already, and why hadn't he come back yet? Bobby insisted that he try and get some rest, considering that he had barely gotten any sleep in the last <em>week<em>, but Dean flat out refused. He was adamant on staying up and waiting for his friend, refusing to go to bed until he was sure that Castiel was one hundred percent okay.

Bobby kept insisting that there was nothing they could do except wait, and Dean stated that he would do just that then.

Winchesters were so damn stubborn.

Dean stayed up way past nighttime, the sun just beginning to rise as he felt his eyes finally fighting with him to close. He remained sitting on the couch, his legs stretched out in front of him and one arm keeping his head propped up. He was trying to be as patient as possible, but found it almost _impossible_ to do so as he continued to wait. Bobby and Sam had been hit the sack, but Dean, being stubborn as he was, remained where he was.

Just as he was about to call it quits and give into the blissful darkness trying to take over, Dean suddenly felt a fluttering hum pulsing in his chest, and immediately got up. He didn't know how, but he _knew_ that Cas was nearby, and quickly ran outside. This feeling was almost like the one back in Blue Ridge, except this one hummed with happiness and joy, rather than dread and fear. A man whose soul had literally been ripped apart could get used to this.

Dean walked the entire way down the dusty trail, leaving nothing but his footprints in the dust as he looked around at the junkyard, which surprisingly had also been fixed with Gabriel's handiwork. The guy must have really been appreciative. He had even left a few surprises here and there around the house for them, but Dean wasn't even gonna go there. Just because he had a sweet tooth, didn't mean that everyone else did. The fruit baskets were nice, but that was where he drew the line.

After taking a few steps towards the front of the yard and past the freshly washed and waxed Impala (the archangel really did think of everything), Dean walked towards the field, where he found none other than Castiel standing there, looking out towards the sunrise.

If Dean could think of a picture perfect moment, this would definitely be it.

…_Dude, stop being such a chick._

Dean just looks on from afar and Castiel eventually notices, slowly turning his head back to look at him. Dean feels a great big smile coming across his face and even tears welling in his eyes, and he couldn't help but sigh at his pitiful girlish ways. _Seriously man, what the heck?_

He finally decided to just push it all back, putting up his tough exterior and slowly walking over to Castiel, his gaze on the ground below him and hands buried deep inside his jean pockets. Castiel simply turned back around to stare out at the horizon, the sun feeling warm on his shoulders, the wind cool against his bare torso, the tall grass soft beneath his feet. Everything around him just felt so full of life, and he quickly noted that he could actually _feel_ it all.

Dean quickly caught up to him and merely stood beside him, admiring the view as well.

The change he saw was incredible. Only a few hours before, Castiel looked like death was literally at the door to receive him (which he technically was), but now he looked like Heaven had just completely washed over him. The bright blue hue of his eyes returned, their brilliance shining right through. His skin looked brighter, his body stronger, even the aura he was giving off made Dean feel like the angel was the top of the world. He couldn't explain it, but something about the man beside him was unlike anything he had ever seen, or felt. He just seemed so _remarkable_.

The two of them simply said nothing, as they continued to watch the sun rise over the horizon.

The light it gave off felt so warm and liberating, Castiel couldn't help but think about the moment the Grace first entered him. It felt dormant at first, almost empty, unfamiliar with the vessel of its new owner before it finally took hold.

The dream that followed was just as peculiar to him, but Castiel felt that it also brought him a sense of peace, considering what he had been shown. It brought more than just revelation to him, but also a new found sense of hope, and with it, his faith rekindled.

Never once would he have imagined he could feel that way again.

…

_He had been engulfed by bright light, the ferocity of it almost painful and breathtaking as it consumed his entire being._

_It felt warm, comforting, almost God like, but Castiel couldn't be entirely sure if it was true. It just felt so incredible, peaceful, and above all, freeing._

_The next thing he knew, he was lying on the floor, his hand resting over his bare chest and surrounded by the misty white that he had found himself encircled by earlier. The bright gold light was what took him over next as it reached out to him, engulfing him in its warm and fiery glow. What he felt next was unexpected, as a hand reached over to him and lay on his shoulder, another grasping the palm still situated over his chest. This presence felt oddly familiar, but strangely different as well, as both arms helped to pull him up, leaving him to sit up and slowly open his eyes._

_The light growing around him felt so inviting, almost friendly, and he found it touching him, embracing him in its warmth and serenity. All of a sudden, it manifested itself into someone, the jade green eyes of the individual the first thing to come to life through it. Castiel looks over to see, that it's none other than Dean, smiling at him._

"_I'm not letting you go Cas. I promised you." His smile is as soft as his voice, as Cas looks on into his hunters all too familiar eyes. "Let's go home."_

_Dean is lifting him to his feet, and the entire place fades to white. Before they disappear however, Castiel can almost swear that he sees a set of silver tipped wings uncurling from behind the hunter, the prismatic glow of feathers shining brightly in the aura they radiated._

_Castiel is reborn._

"_Castiel is saved."_

…

Castiel is the one to break the silence after what seems like forever, the comfort of that silence between them almost too peaceful to interrupt.

He confesses to Dean that he heard his prayers from this very spot, and that he heard every word before then as well. Dean merely listens on and begins to take in everything that has happened these past few days, knowing that what he never thought he'd get to tell Cas was something he didn't even need to say. The angel already knew, probably before he even confessed it.

"Everything?" Dean asked, almost jokingly. "You heard _everything_?"

He simply smiled, as if to tell him that he heard every word.

"So I'm busted huh?" Dean grinned, not even daring to look at him.

"Yep." Castiel grinned back, not even bothering to look back either.

The two of them didn't really need to say much else, considering they already knew what the other had to say. That's just how their relationship was really, silent words and affirmative action. When either one wanted to get a point across, they made sure to do it in that silent way that always knew. It was cherishing to say the least.

When Castiel is finished with his story, Dean simply smiles as feelings of hope, faith and joy begin to jump inside of him, feelings that Castiel can sense like a burst of raw emotion. The angel looks over to him and stares, and Dean just continues to look on at the horizon, thinking about the miracle he's received. The dawn unfolding before them is quite beautiful, he notes, suddenly wondering why he never took the time to actually see it. Bobby definitely had a breathtaking view of it. Dean takes a few seconds before he finally lets his thoughts calm, and looks over to stare at Castiel straight in the eye.

He found the angel already looking at him.

"What made you change your mind Dean?" Castiel asked, curiosity as well light-heartedness seeping through his voice. "I thought you never believed in miracles."

Dean paused while he waited for an answer to come to him. He looked back towards the horizon, really taking in the idea that he had been truly given a miracle, probably for the first time in his life. One without strings for once. "I haven't changed my mind Cas." Dean said flatly, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I don't believe in miracles. I believe in people."

Castiel pondered this for a moment and wondered if Dean was actually humoring him, his brow furrowing just a bit. He could see that Dean was lying straight through his teeth, the hunter biting down at his left cheek and not wanting to admit that Castiel was telling the truth.

He saw right through him.

He recognized it the moment he saw a smile creeping underneath his lips. Castiel could only smile as a grin escaped Dean as well.

"You _are_ very stubborn Dean."

Dean chuckled at the obviousness, more than happy to oblige at Castiel's own teasing. How he never thought he'd miss that.

"And you are still a featherbrain Cas." Dean chuckled again, looking back at his friend. "And you know what?"

"What?" Cas tilts his head, that all so familiar look of confusion causing Dean's heart to soar.

Dean merely laughed at himself now, wondering how the hell he had never noticed how that look made the angel who he was, besides the wings and trench coat of course. He put his left arm over Cas' shoulders, hoping that it didn't make Castiel feel in any way awkward or uncomfortable. To his surprise, Castiel simply let himself fall into it.

Dean was so grateful for that moment.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Castiel felt a sudden sensation of both peace and tranquility radiate between the two of them, and the angel and hunter stayed staring at each other and back at the horizon, eventually returning to the house, side by side.

Dean didn't want to admit it, but he did believe that somewhere out there, someone _had_ been listening and that maybe, just maybe, he could start believing again in faith.

* * *

><p>Weeks had passed since then, and Sam and Dean have found themselves in the middle of another hunt in some small backwoods town in northern Texas. Sam was of course doing research while Dean was out getting lunch for the two of them. Sam figured that it would come from the diner down the road, and to no surprise, he saw Dean return soon enough with a burger in his hand and a salad bag in the other. Sam silently wished that his brother would pick up an apple once in a while.<p>

"Dude, there's Girl Scouts outside selling cookies. Get me some of the mint chocolate chip ones will ya. I'm gonna jump in the shower right quick."

Of course Dean would know when cookie season came around. He followed it more than his own birthday.

Sam simply laughs, and a few minutes later hears the knock on the door. Sam quickly closes the laptop and gets up to open it, immediately being hit by the peaceful breeze that rolled outside in the warming sun. Sam sees no one at first, but then looks down as a hears an innocent little voice saying hello.

"Hi."

Sam freezes, as he sees a raven haired little girl with red ribbon pigtails smiling back at him.

"My name is Kristy and I'm going door to door selling cookies in support of our Girl Scout troop. Would you like to buy some and help support our troop?"

Sam could simply only gape.

**THE END**

─**o.O.o─**

**Authors End Note:** If you have made it here to the end than I am eternally grateful for your support. I can't thank you enough and after spending a month on this (my personal Valentine's Day gift to myself, lol) I am surprised how far this has come. Again, my inspiration for writing this story came from MissAnnThropic and her piece Saving Grace and to be honest, I am still very much in love with it since the first time I read it. Waking up in the middle of the night to check for updates was nerve-wracking but very much worth it and again, if you have not read it then I suggest you do because it really is a one of a kind piece. Again, I'd like to thank all the readers and reviewers who took their time and patience to take a chance at my work. I couldn't have done it without you guys.

Yours truly,

₪anonymous-unknown₪

**Authors End Side Notes:** Just to clear a bit of the mystery for those who may have missed them. Authors Note in Chapter 2 mentioned that the main idea of this story was one that I'd seen a lot in fan fiction but took a different approach on; simple, Castiel's own guardian angel. Physically it was Elizael but spiritually it's Dean, as mentioned in this chapter. Anytime Cas found himself in some sort of trouble or threatened, (as was mentioned in Cas and Dean's conversation near the end of Chapter 7) it was Elizael who was 'taking care of it'. The final scene of the story with the Girl Scout and Sam's reaction to her; refer to Chapter 5. The indication of silver tipped wings on Dean's back, silver indicates the rank of a 'guardian angel'. I think that's it for now. Obviously there are still a lot of unanswered question including the big one; what the heck is Raphael up to (which the season finale totally killed for me but whatever), but please remember this was just the first part of four. All will be revealed in due time. As mentioned in Chapter 1, the entire story (volumes one through four) has already been laid down, outlined and written out but I am very OCD when it comes to details so research does take precedence with me. Hope to see you guys at the sequel. Much love to ya'll, now go review! 8D

**To Be Continued in Part II:** Sacrifice Thyself to the Lamb, So That Others May Rise


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